457: What I Did For Love

I've done Christie a few years and she's been going through a rough time. When a boyfriend dumped her, she wanted to do something, you know? She wasn't over him and she had all these feelings and started to just sit there. And she thought about standing outside of his window and serenading him.

She's a singer that job she sings, but she actually had tried serenading the guy ones. That really didn't work out. I do believe, I would like to say as a woman, I believe there's a serenade double standard where it's okay for a man to go throw a rock at a window. But when a woman does it, it's called a police.

There's a singer songwriter on him. Oh, like you're a crazy person. Yeah. And she didn't want to be a crazy person, right?

She didn't want to stalk him. She didn't want to bother him. But like I said, she had all these feelings. So she wrote him a letter every day that she did not send.

And she started collecting stuff that she knew that he would like and she kept it. She just kept it in a box underneath her bed. She also got food for him in her freezer. These pastries that he likes that she saw and couldn't help buying for him.

And she knows that he doesn't want to get any of this stuff from her. So what is she collecting this stuff for? She has no idea. Finally, she figured out a way to reach out to him that she thought might be appropriate.

He was a prankster. He loved pranks. Including phone pranks. And so Christy explained to me that as she would drive around the country from one music to the next, she tried to do something that she thought would talk to that part of his personality.

I started writing his number on bathroom walls across the United States. What? Yeah. I started writing on bathroom walls.

Ladies, please help me out. I really want my man back. Please call. You know, and then I put his number and tell him his chalupa really misses him.

And then I wrote, say your city and state, please. I see. Because you knew that like he doesn't want to see you. So you don't want to be calling him.

That would be clearly out of bounds. Right. That's how I cleared myself of that by having other women call and text him. Is it possible?

If he doesn't want to hear from you, this is even worse. Well, and that's what would happen two months later. I received a very cold, dry text. I hope you're doing okay.

But please knock it off with the bathroom walls. Disest with this. Yeah. So Christy tried a more constructive route.

She started going to these saddled country songs for like Tillman and Hank Williams. And she formed a cover band to play them that she calls the town criers, get it. And Texas where she goes. I asked her to send me one of the songs and they are really, really sad.

I love your songs. It hurts me. Darling, that's why I am so blue. All the stuff that Christy has done since the breakup.

Joining this music, playing the prank, buying all that stuff with her boyfriend. She says she just can't help herself. She still has feelings and she just has to act. I was raised that you can always get what you want out of life.

You just have to work hard. And my dad never really explained to me that that didn't apply to love. What a day on our radio program where people try all kinds of things. Work hard in all kinds of ways for love.

Including I have to say a few ways that I bet you have never heard of. And they do it because they just cannot stop themselves. Like every country song ever written will tell you they've got no choice. From WBC Chicago, it's This American Life distributed by Public Radio International.

It's a special Valentine's Day edition of our show. What I did for love. I'm out of glass. Stay with us.

I want to hold you my dear forever. And I love you so much. It hurts. Kristi Krueger, act one.

The best way to do it. When you hear what this first couple did for love, I think one of the things that is most incredible about it is the kind of couple they were when they did it. Which is a really great couple. We were always like the most solid of all the relationships of our friends and everything like that.

Great Brown over him and his girlfriend on the third day of college. And in all of the ways that we think of what makes her a good relationship, I think that they were doing better than you or me or most people. They had a lot of fun together. They could talk about anything.

They didn't really fight. Happy sex life. We really just got along very well together. We traveled well together.

We were always the kind of we were the place that friends would come when they were having hard times and they would stay with us. And we were kind of it felt like very adult when I was 23. It felt like I'm kind of married. Even though neither of us had ever ever discussed getting married.

So what happened? Well, after we had both turned 30, one day I just kind of was thinking about why we had never talked about getting married. Like we had never ever talked about it seriously or otherwise. And whenever anyone would ask us, we would always just kind of kind of brush it off and say, we're going to, we'll get married when we have kids.

That's what we'd always say. And I remember we were sitting in the living room and it was October. And I just said, hey, I want to talk. And I said, why do you think we haven't gotten married yet?

Or even talked about it? And she just kind of like looked at me and thought for a second and then she said, well, I think that before we get married, we should probably sleep with other people. And you would imagine that that would come as a huge shock to me, like hit me hard. But for some reason, it kind of made sense to me.

I kind of was like, okay, very calmly. And I guess the reason- Wait, how did that make sense? I've thought a lot about this and I think that there's a few reasons. We both had this kind of arrogant notion of our relationship that it could survive literally anything that we had known each other our whole adult lives.

We were each other's world. So really, I don't think we thought that we could destroy this thing. I talked to the girlfriend who did not want to come on the radio. And she said basically she'd only had two boyfriends in her life, her high school boyfriend who was not a good boyfriend at all.

And Kurt, it was great. But she met Kurt, she said when she was 17, she was 30 when this happened. And she said that she felt like maybe she missed out on something under 20s. Experience is what other people had.

And she didn't want to regret that. I went in and I should say before we go any further in this story, we're going to acknowledge the existence of sex between adults. Nothing's supposed to happen. So they sat on the couch and they talked this through.

The next part of that conversation was the logistics. Do we break up? Do I move out? Do we just do this while we're living in the same house together?

And we kind of came up with this idea of borrowing this Amish concept called rum springa. And rum springing in the Amish world is when, you know, when you're 16, you're allowed to be not Amish for two years. And then when you turn 18, you decide whether or not you come back to the fold. And during this two years, kids get drunk, they sleep around, they try drugs.

They do lots of things. So we decided to have a rum spring from our relationship. And that's the other crazy thing is that we decided that it was 30 days was enough. Because probably within 30 days, sleeping with other people, get that all out of our system in 30 days, it turns out it's really difficult to all of a sudden be come single at 31 when you've never been single for your entire life.

Because all of a sudden I'm in New York City and I'm single. And I essentially have the emotional tools of a 17 year old boy. Because the last time you dated was you were 17. The last time I dated, I was in a dorm room.

Yeah. Also, it wasn't that I was just, it wasn't like I was single in New York City. Because being single in New York City is, I think, the majority of it is being just very lonely and being on your own. Whereas this was very different.

I was in a marathon. I was in a race. I was in a 30 day race to sleep with as many people as I possibly could. Because after 30 days, I was going to go back and then get married.

So it was a time clock ticking. Every single, it was almost to the minute where I'd just be like, if I was in New York I wasn't out somewhere trying to meet someone. I was like, this is wasted time. I am wasting my time right now.

And also because of the fact that we're both, my girlfriend and I were both very competitive with each other, that we didn't speak during that 30 days. But I think in both of our minds we had a competitive nature of being like, I need to sleep with more people than she does. I think she felt the same way. That's true.

She did feel that way. I asked her. So before they started the room, they took a last romantic trip together to New Orleans over New Year's. And they had a great time.

And then on January 3rd, after they both cried a bit, Kurt moved out for a month. So suddenly, 31 time clock ticking, where do you start? Kurt called this one and he knew just a little bit and had a date on the very first or second night, I can't remember which it was. And at dinner he told her the entire situation, the whole thing out that he was seeing somebody that was in his break to sink around.

And this was a rule that he made for himself that he was always going to be honest with any woman that he met during this month. He was going to be honest upfront. And that's the weird thing. That's the thing that I still kind of want to think back on this time that I don't understand.

Like I don't understand how these women that I met during that time heard the story and were like, okay, let's continue with this date. What would they say? I think most of them, the overall response was like, wow, and I can't believe you're telling me this. Kurt was staying on a futon on a friend's living room for the month in this apartment where there was no door between the living room, the bedroom where his friend was sleeping and he brought this woman back on the first date and they made out a little bit and then they said another date.

I think it was probably for the next night or the night after, something like that. And what happened? What do you mean? What happens on the date?

I guess I mean, do you sleep with her? Since the whole point of the story is you're trying to sleep with her? Yes, yes. And suddenly I felt very modest about asking.

Did you say that? Yes, we had enough sleeping together. Yeah, it was amazing. It was, yeah, totally turned my head around.

It really did feel like having experiences like I would imagine I would have had as a teenager. You know, Rasex was this very powerful thing and it kind of overwhelmed you. The day after that, he picks up a woman in a bar, something he had never done before in his life. When he goes home with her, and from there he's often running.

But remember, he has the emotional tools of a 17-year-old. I was emotionally getting involved with these women and that was against one of our rules that we had come up with my girlfriend and I had a rule saying no relationships. We don't get into relationships with people. We're just going to go out and sleep with people to see what it's like.

Oh, I see. But you didn't actually know how to just go out and sleep with somebody without getting emotionally involved? Not at all. I mean, the first date I went on, I immediately was like head over heels for her and I knew her for six hours.

And I didn't know how to date. I didn't know how to date casually. So what I really was doing was just getting involved. I was acting like a person who had been in a 13-year relationship with these women that I had just met.

Like, how does that mean? What do you mean? Immediately holding hands. I would, my impulse would be to say I love you during sex.

That would be my impulse because that's the only way I was used to having sex. And I remember the first time that I did end up having sex. I started to say I love you and then just kind of swallowed it and made it seem like I was coughing. And that was it and that didn't happen just once.

It was just a month of incredibly intense feelings. He did feel this crazy elation or he would find himself walking down the street weeping. The girlfriend told me that she, meanwhile was having escapades of her own. She'd be out all night drinking and dancing, going to exclusive clubs with Mexican high rollers, doing crazy things with European tourists.

It was just what she wanted actually. And both of them told me that the weirdest thing about that time was that the person that they wanted to talk to most about what was going on and share it with was each other. But it was they weren't speaking. Kurt says that one of the most amazing things to him that was kind of a revelation during that time was something I've never actually heard anybody talk about it but I totally related to this was how quickly he would find himself in the home of a complete stranger.

Yeah, I'd never gotten to see other people's apartments so much. That's what I kind of was fascinating. I was getting to see all these different people's apartments and seeing how everyone lives. And I love that.

I love that part of it so much. I was like, I was like, look at this. I'm seeing this is all your stuff. This is the stuff you keep on your bedside table.

And also having really weird experiences I'd never had before, like of women picking me up. I never experienced that before. I was so confused because it was a bartender. She was like a bartender.

So she just kept giving me drinks, free drinks. I was like, why is this part? Why is she giving me all these free drinks? But it is fascinating to see if you stay at the bar in the morning and then all of a sudden, I'd never been aware of it before.

And then I was looking around me like, oh, all these people are like pairing off. Look at how this happens. Like, I'd never been at bars in the morning, but I was always, it's obviously like uncovering this whole level of single life in New York City that I was just heading out and aware of before. Anyone in New York City, I feel like, can have sex any night of the week if they just follow two rules, which is stay at the bar until four in the morning and dramatically lower your standards.

So after a month, Curt and his girlfriend get together and talk and they agree that a month was not enough for this. They said it was just obvious. The experiment hadn't run its course. They both wanted more time.

So they decided on a second month, which then becomes the third month. And for Curt, as time went on, it got harder and harder to stick with the rule that they had made of not getting into any relationships. He was just muddling about how to figure out how to do that. And his head, he would think like, when is something actually a relationship?

And I think in my head, I was like, three dates, three dates makes a relationship. That's what I defined. And so then I would try to not see people more than three times. That was increasingly difficult.

It's difficult because he was giving women two opposite messages at the same time. He would tell them that he was just taking a month's break from his real relationship and this isn't serious. But then he didn't hold back any of his feelings. What I felt like kept happening was that I would act like I wanted to be their boyfriend.

And then after three dates would just abruptly end it with no explanation whatsoever. And definitely people would yell at me and call me names. And I feel to this day, I feel horrible about that. Because I was acting like a crazy person.

I was acting like a person with absolutely no boundaries. So it was hard to stop himself while it was going on. And when we talked about it, Kurt's explanation for that was once I had a dog, I was a kid I had a dog and one day the cat knocked a five pound bag of sugar off onto the floor. And my dog was about nine pounds.

He was a toy poodle and he ate all five pounds of sugar in one day. And then he was sick for like three days afterwards. But I always think about that day for him, how amazing that day must have been. We're like eating all that sugar and eating it and then kind of like going away from it for a little while and being like, I can't stop when is this going to happen again?

And then he just started vomiting and vomiting three straight days. And that's how I felt. I knew this was bad. I was like, when is this ever going to happen again?

I asked her girlfriend if all this happened to her during the run spring of two. It was hard just to have sex with that emotion and drink into it at all. And she said, absolutely not. Quote, you mean dudes, I didn't mean to bars or parties, whatever those people?

She said, I didn't tell anyone anything about my background or the situation. And I asked her, wait, so you wouldn't explain? I'm going to break from a relationship. She said, no, because it sounds crazy.

I told her that Kurt would reveal all of that, which she knew. She said, yeah, Kurt's way too open. But quote, that open is probably just made him more appealing to the ladies. By the end of three months, Kurt started to fall for this woman that he met in Australia.

And this time really actually fought for her in a real way. And this made him, of course, feel differently about his relationship with his girlfriend. So if we back to the States, stated their old apartment and because this is the most comfortable relationship that has ever existed between two people, of course, they dealt with it all right away, very straightforward. And we woke up in the morning and we went and got brunch and we brought it to the park.

The way we'd always used to do on Saturdays. We just sat in the park and talked and we broke up. And that's the thing. I can't point to something that was bad about our relationship.

Except for knowing that I feel like it had run its course. I mean, we organically got to the point where we both thought this was a good idea. This, the room spinner. It's almost like we, the relationship had an expiration date, but we didn't know about it.

And then off some we came up with this really complicated, crazy plan to put the test down at the right place where it would break. And it broke. There's no girlfriend saying something similar. She said she'd probably wanted out of the relationship before the room spinner.

But she was just too scared to admit it to herself. The room spinner gave them a way to break up. They still are very, very close. They talk a few times a week.

Kurt says he would not want to do a room spring again, but he came out of this experience believing that it is important to force things to a decision with someone. And that it's healthy for any relationship to be evaluated now and then. I do have a theory now. I do have a theory about if I do get married in the future.

What I think I would want to do is have an agreement that at the end of seven years, we have to get remarried in order for the marriage to continue. But at the end of seven years, it ends. And we can agree to get remarried or not get remarried. Why?

Because then I think you get to choose. And I think it makes the relationship would make the relationship stronger. I don't know what I think of that. Because I think actually one of the things that's a comfort in marriage is that there isn't a door at seven years.

And so if something is messed up in the short term, there's a comfort of knowing like, well, we made this commitment and so we're just going to work this out. And even if tonight we're not getting along or there's something between us that doesn't feel right, the other comfort of knowing like we've got time, we're going to figure this out. And that makes it so much easier. Because you do go through like times when you hate each other's guts.

And then being like, of course you do. And the no escape cause weirdly is a bigger comfort to being married than I ever would have thought before I got married. Really? I never thought of it that way.

I like thinking about it that way. You just see so many examples of where that of people where people don't think that way. But Curt and his girlfriend feel like the room's spring have got them where they needed to go as a couple. Even if that place was different than they intended when they began the whole thing.

Sometimes what you need to do next is a couple. You can't even tell what it should be. And the best you can do is hold your breath, make a guess. And jump.

Coming up, love stories between a kid and someone who is not a kid and a duck and someone who's not a duck and Jeannie Darst and someone who is not Jeannie Darst. That is in a minute. I'm Jacob O'Budio in Public Radio International. When our program continues.

It's American Life from our Glass Today on our program for Valentine's Day, What I Did For Love. Stories about people who believe in love and do all kinds of things for love. We arrived at Act Two of our program, Act Two, 21 Chump Street. Last year, at three high schools in Palm Beach County, Florida, a bunch of young police officers were sent undercover to pose as students.

These were recent graduates of the Police Cadet program and they blended right in. They went to classes, they ate the cafeteria, they hung up on the basketball court during recess, they had fake Facebook accounts of course. They even took the state's standardized tests, the F-Cat police officers were there undercover because parents and principals of their parents and principals have complained about drugs being sold at the schools. Only the principals at the schools knew of their presence, no teachers knew it, no parents knew it.

Now maybe it is hard to imagine a love story coming out of this situation, but one did. A love story with somebody who went out of his way and took action at a key moment for love. Robbie Brown tells what happened. The plan was called Operation D-Minus and one of the schools included in the plan was Park Vista Community High School, where a kid named Justin LeBoy, an 18 year old honor old student, was in the last semester of his senior year.

And Justin could hardly believe his lock when a very pretty new girl, everyone had noticed her, showed up in not just one, but two of his classes. The name that she used was Naomi, I think it was Naomi Rodriguez, and she sat in front of me but then I sat next to her. So I started talking to her, oh hey, my name is Justin, you know, oh Naomi I'm from New York, isn't it? Oh really me too, and I had to send New York on it too, because I was trying to show it, I was in line, or faking it.

She said she was from Queens, I'm from the Bronx, and she was Puerto Rican and Dominican, and that's what caught me even more. I was like oh man, okay, and then I was Puerto Rican and I was talking to her little Spanish, she was talking to me a little Spanish. And then we just, I just got really close to it, I got attached real quick, I was like wow, look at this, you know. What did she look like?

She was about five, four, black straight hair, light-skinned it, she was mature, and nobody-wise, so I mean that caught a lot of people's attention. But the things that she did that I thought that made her a real student was that she was sleeping class, she wouldn't do her homework. I would have to wake her up all the time be like, hey listen, wake up, get in trouble, hey, you didn't do your homework? Okay, I'll let you copy my homework, okay.

Because I mean, I take my classes seriously, you know, but with her, it was different, I was just like oh man, you know, wow, you know, she's cute, I can talk to her, you know, I'll get in trouble once in a while. I'll be like, just stop talking, okay. Justin's a good looking guy, popular and well-liked. He'd had girlfriends before, but nothing that lasted, nothing that seemed worth holding onto.

But Naomi seemed different. She was a good listener, she didn't seem to gossip or play games, she seemed very adult. It's the maturity level that I really care for. And, okay, I told her a lot of my feelings, you know, I told her how I fell for her.

I mean, I'm not the type of person to open up to you unless we have a really good relationship. And, I was just open up so much, you know, I told her about all my whole life story, about my parents, I told the problems I had. What was it about her that made you, trust her, that made you feel like you could open up to her? She had told me that she lived, she came up here with her mother, that they was having problems in New York, so, you know, they came over here to Florida to settle down to, you know, have a better life.

And little stuff like that, to telling people, I believe that, oh wow, you know, okay, you said you're telling me stuff like this, I can tell you about my life, yeah, you know, I'm having hard troubles with this person right here, I'm having trouble with my parents or stuff, little stuff like that. It makes people bond together, you know. Justin believed he was seeing signs that Naomi was starting to like him, like him, like him. They walked together in the halls, they would text during class.

And they were like, I'm gonna sing her a song, she'd be like, okay, and then I'll just start singing, and then I'll get all blushed up, be like, oh man, what am I doing? Okay, let me continue. I'll start rapping to her, and I'll start singing. And I mean, I even danced too, so I danced for her, and I did that.

You really like this girl? Man, it tore me apart, I was like, oh my god. So you felt like all the signs were good? Oh, of course, I felt all the signs were good, because I never got this, a non sign, so therefore I was just like, okay, everything's good, you know.

I know I'm taking it slow, you know, I'm taking it good. You know, usually it doesn't take me that long to get a girlfriend when I start talking to them. So when it took me, I found a kind of odd that, you know, I was like, wow, you know, I'm such a great dude, and you know, we're hanging out, you know, what's the next step? You know, I don't care about sex, and I just want to know if you're gonna be mine.

So she was playing kind of hard to get? Yes, I mean, me, I love that, so it attracted me even more. I was like, oh, I love girls that guys can't have, so I'm like, oh, it's awesome. And hindsight, she was probably playing hard to get for a different reason.

Yes, for a different reason, you know. All of this is built up inevitably, to Justin asking Naomi the problem. Yeah, you know, she's a senior, I'm a senior. Last year, I don't know where we're gonna be after this, so let me just step up and be a man and do what I gotta do.

So I went up to her in class and I was like, listen, you know, I know you don't know anybody in this school that much, and I don't want to go to anybody in this school, and you know, I feel really attracted to you. Would you like to call me the prom? Oh, that sounds nice, okay, excuse me, let me think about it. I was blushing red, I was like, oh my God, what if she says no, what if she says yes?

And after she gave me the okay, yeah, you know, around the more of a yes side, I was okay, I was good, good. You know, prom was coming up, and I mean, I guess he needed a date. I interviewed the undercover officer who played Naomi. She's a 25 year old newer crew with the Palm Beach School's Police Force.

She wouldn't give me a real name and only agreed to a phone interview if her supervising sergeant could listen in. She wouldn't talk to me about any specific cases or kids at the school, including Justin, but she did confirm that she was asked a prom. She doesn't remember it quite the way Justin does, though. Mainly, she says she didn't say yes.

I told him I wasn't going because this is not where I spent the last three years of high school. I didn't really want to go to the prom and I had to pay for the ticket and everything else. I was like, no, it's too much money for me. And you bought it.

Justin and Naomi didn't end up going to prom, of course, partly because of what happened next. One day at the beginning of April, after Naomi had been at school for about three months, she and Justin had a conversation about drugs. She asked me if I smoked, and I told you, no, I do not smoke, but if you need anything, I'll be more than happy to help you out. So, you know, like I said, I'm not a drug dealer.

It's hard for me to get drugs at all. So it's not like she told me this day and I got it for her the very next day. It took me a while. She would text me and I would text her.

Do you have it yet? No, I don't have it at the moment right now. And she'll be at school. Hey, do you have that yet?

No, I don't have it right now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really trying to like my heart is to get it and I can't get it, you know, because I like the girls.

So what are you thinking is you're trying to get this pot to sell to her? I'm thinking what the heck are you doing? I never done this in the school before. So I'm really scared and skeptical about it to the same point.

And I'm like, oh man, okay. So I'm acting my homeboy and my friend's like, no, I don't know, because I don't hang out with guys like that. Maybe Justin didn't know guys like that and maybe he did. The police say he told Naomi he smoked pot.

Justin says he was just trying to seem cool to impress her. But what certainty did find somebody who was selling to him? A person his cousin knew he says. So a couple days after they first talked about it, Justin brought a rolled up bag, he had marijuana to school for Naomi.

And I was petched by all the way. Oh my God, I'm actually going to do this. So we was in class and I sat right next to her and she was like, hey, do you have that? I was like, you know what?

Yeah, I do. And I was like, okay, we're going to wait a few. We're going to wait a few because I don't want to be like, oh, hey, you know, give it, turn her hands lighter. But she was like, okay, put it in my purse.

Okay, she put her purse on top of my desk and then I put it slitted right in there. And she goes, okay, now take the money. I was like, no, I don't need the money. It's okay.

Just have it. You could take it. No, please take the money. You know, you make me feel bad.

So 10 minutes passed and then we still arguing about it. I'm like, please, no, I don't want the money. And she goes, no, just take the money. Take the money.

Please take the money. You make me feel better. I'm just like, okay, you know what? Just so you could just shut up.

I'll take the money. You know, don't worry. You're making me feel bad. Now that I'm taking money from you.

How much money? Twenty five dollars. And this was at school? Yes.

Justin would later find out it's a felony in Florida to sell marijuana. And the penalty is even harsher for selling it on school property. In other words, Justin made an irreversibly bad decision. The worst decision of his life, he says.

And since he was over 18, he was legally an adult when he made it. Finally in May, the police did a big sweep. They arrested 31 people at several schools, almost all of them students who had sold small amounts of marijuana. Justin was one of them.

And they said that I had sold to the undercover cop. And I'm scared. I'm weirded down. I'm like, whoa, who did I ever sell to?

And then it just popped into my head that the only person that I ever did give anything to was his female. And I was just, I was shocked. I was out of my emotions running. I was just like, oh my god, this is so mean.

This is all messed up. How can she do this? You know? I mean, if it was a guy doing this, if a guy ever tried to come up to me like this, I would just put him on my hand and stay straight up and say, no, get on my face.

Please, get on my face. I don't associate with that. But it's just a female. It's a different feeling that you get for a female.

And you will when you have your homeboy or a guy come up to me and ask you questions like that. Oh, hey, do you smoke? No, no, I don't. Get out of here.

You know, it's a different feeling that when you get from a girl you like. You know, you're not going to turn down the person that you want to be with. When I talked to the officer who plays Naomi, she said she had no regrets about her undercover work. She's a cop.

And she sees the way a cop does. Please get set to wake up. They need to realize they can't be doing this. And using undercover officers has gotten results.

The police in Palm Beach County tried the same tactics again at another group of schools last semester. So far, they've arrested more than 80 people. All have pled guilty. The charges ranging from selling cocaine and pills to bringing weapons in school property.

Justin took a plea deal. Three years probation in exchange for pleading guilty to the felony charge. His lawyer told him that if he went to trial, it would be his word against Naomi's. And they disagreed about the drug deal.

He says she kept asking him to sell her marijuana. She says he brought it up first. He says she insisted he take money for it. She says he just took the money without prompting.

Either way, the police had Justin's text messages telling Naomi he would get marijuana for him. So Justin's lawyer advised him. Just take the plea. But before the deal came through, he spent more than a week in jail, going over and over in his mind what had happened, and still thinking in spite of himself about Naomi.

I would have a good time when I would be where and I would be where like all the time. And that's why when all this collapsed and caved in, I felt so like it just hurt. Have you had any contact with Naomi? No, not at all.

Have you tried to send her any messages? No, I don't have any contact where I swear whatsoever. If I would, I would love to have a conversation where I know disrespecting anyone. What would you tell her?

I would tell her what the heck did she do? Justin had planned to go into the Air Force Center High School. He said he wanted to make something out of his life. Now, with a felony conviction, the armed forces, any part of it was off the table.

Justin's applying to community college. He says now the whole thing seems kind of unbelievable. He was an honor-old student, first-time offender with no criminal record. And of all the high schools and all the towns and all the world, she walked into his.

Larry Brown works with the New York Times in Atlanta. Lectery, Cold Stone Dreamery. This next story, like the last one we just heard, is about a guy who yearns or someone. Yearns, and this someone is not giving him much back, and someone may not actually be good at him at all.

Except in this story, the guy is a duck. This is where some bang worry. The duck was just around. But the other ducks knew exactly where he was going, and they all laughed at him behind his back.

Stupid duck is in love with a rock they snikered, wonder what kind of ducklings they will have. But there was one duck, a girl duck who did not laugh. She had known the strange duck for a long time, and had always found him to be a good and decent bird. She felt sorry for him, was hard luck to fall in love with a rock.

She wanted to help, but what could she do? She trailed after the duck and watched him woo the rock from behind the tree. I love you the duck was saying. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

I love you more than the stars in the sky. I love you more than the fish in the river. I love you more than, more than. And there he stopped, for he could think of nothing else that existed.

Life itself said the girl duck from behind the tree. She hadn't meant to pipe up. The words just sort of leapt out of her. The duck spun around to look at her.

It was terrified. It's okay, said the girl duck, waddling out from behind the tree. I know you're in love with a rock. In fact, everyone knows.

They do, said the duck. Yes, said the girl duck. Yes, they do. The duck sighed and sat down on the ground.

If he had had hands, he would have buried his head in them. What am I going to do, he said? What am I going to do? Do the girl duck said?

How can it go on like this, said the duck? I love a thing that cannot speak, cannot move, cannot... I don't even know how it feels about me. The girl duck looked at the rock.

She didn't know what to say. I know, said the duck. You think I'm crazy. You think it's just a rock, but it isn't just a rock.

It's different. It's very different. He looked at the rock. But something has to happen, he said, and soon, because my heart will break if this goes on much longer.

That night the girl duck had a hard time sleeping. She kept paddling around in circles, thinking about the rock and the duck and his heart that might break. She thought long and hard, and before morning she had an idea. She went and woke up a strange duck.

Things happened when they must, she said, as if it were an extremely meaningful statement. So, said the duck. So I have a plan, said the girl duck, and I think that it will work. Well, what is it, said the duck, nearly bursting with excitement?

We will need help, said the girl duck, and it will take some time. And also, we will need a cliff. Two days later they set out. It took four ducks to carry the rock.

They worked in teams and traded off every 15 minutes. Everyone joined in, even though they laughed, for ducks are all brothers when it comes right down to it. The cliff is over that hill and then quite a ways to the south, said the most elderly duck. I remember flying over it when I was a fledgling.

It looked like the edge of the world. The ducks trudged on under their rocky wait for hours, hours and then for days. At night they camped under hedges and strange trees and ate beetles and frogs. Do you think it will be much farther, said one of the ducks?

Maybe, said the old duck. My memory is not so good anymore. On the sixth day the ducks began to tire. I don't believe there is a cliff, said one of them.

Me neither said another. I think the old duck is crazy. My back hurt, said a third duck. I want to go home.

Me too, said a fourth. In fact, I'm going to. And then all the ducks began to turn for home. The rock fell to the forest floor and lay there.

A strange duck looked imploringly at the girl duck. Don't worry, she said, I won't leave you. They watched all the other ducks flee homeward and then they hoisted the rock onto their backs and trudged on. What do you think will happen when we throw it off the cliffs of the duck?

I don't know, said the girl duck. I just know it will be something. Finally they came to the edge of the cliff. The drop-off was so great they couldn't see the ground.

Just great white clouds spread out before them like an endless rolling cotton blanket. It looked so soft, said the duck. Yes, it does, said the girl duck. Are you ready?

The duck looked at the rock. This is it, my love, he said. A moment of truth. And whatever happens, please remember, always remember, I love you.

And the two ducks hurled the rock off the cliff together. At first the rock simply fell, like a rock one might say, like a stone. But then something began to happen. It began to slow, it began to grow, it began to change.

It narrowed, it elongated, and it also spread sideways. It's becoming a bird, the girl duck said. And it was, it was becoming a beautiful gray bird, really not that unlike a duck. Its wings began to move slowly up and down, up and down, and it dove down and then coasted up.

It looked back over its shoulder at the two ducks on the cliff, and it called out just once. Goodbye. And then it was going, going, getting smaller and smaller, flying off over the blanket across the sky. When they reached the pond, the other ducks gathered around and clamored to hear what had happened.

The duck and the girl duck glanced at each other. Nothing, said the girl duck. It fell. And the days that followed, the duck stayed to himself.

The girl duck went and swam around in circles. She thought about that rocky bird flying off into the sky. She saw it over and over in her mind. And then one day, not too many days later, she looked and saw the duck coming up.

He was carrying a small salamander in his bill. For me, the girl duck said, and the duck smiled. Ben Louray, reading a story from his book, Stories from Nighttime, and Some for the Day. That for a fantastic Mr.

Fox. You know, when you first find somebody, there's that period where you don't know if you should trust what is happening just yet, or if you should trust them. And this question mark hangs over the whole thing, and part of what you're doing for love is gathering information to erase that question mark. Ginny Darrson met this guy and thought of him as a fling and not serious dating material.

At first anyway, note two sensitive listeners once again. We refer to the existence of sex in the story, but give no details about how it works. Anyway, here's Ginny. It was a pretty romantic setup.

He was photographing me for a work thing. My first impression of him was that he was a little silly, like a lot of men in Los Angeles are, wearing goofy expensive sneakers like a rich five-year-old and mispronouncing words, but also super likable. As we're talking about the layout for the shoot, he asked me, what do you think of monogamy? Later, when we'd been dating awhile, I asked him why he asked me what I thought of monogamy, and he said, because I wanted to date someone who wanted to be monogamous.

The second time we met, he asked me to his house for a margarita. When I told him I was sober, he said, that's amazing. I'm sober a lot of the time, too. I haven't had a drink for eight days.

The ridiculousness of this was somehow exceedingly charming to me. Someone who, in trying to play down their drinking, has no idea that everything they're saying is screaming, I'm an alcoholic. Normal drinkers don't know how many days it's been since their last drink, in the way that say, I couldn't tell you when I last had red potatoes. I guess I thought that I would play in his power of now world for a week or two, that Jake and I would have fun and that would be that.

But things were quickly, well, better than that. We had a lot in common. He was divorcing like me, had a kid my kid's age, he understood having dinner at 5.30. He was sexy and sexy and had good ideas about things to do.

He called and said, let's take the boys to an actor movie at the golf course tonight. And when I'd be in the middle of a work thing and realize we're all gonna starve, I'd get a text saying he was making sandwiches and bringing blankets and pillows and picking us all up. He called me Fox, constantly. I forgave this because I thought it was a professional tick, and after my divorce, I wasn't looking for an argument.

I soon realized he called everyone Fox. Hey Fox, my neighbors, his agent, he probably called his own mother Fox. What's up Fox? How's the arthritis?

My friends don't want to be called Fox. They really, really don't want to be called Fox. But again, I let it ride because he worked in the Fox industry and had done a lot of drugs and was pushing 50. Maybe he couldn't remember anyone's name.

Despite his stale vaudeville sleazy photographer routine, he seemed to be a lot more serious about getting serious than I was. After about a month and a half, he told me he was in love with me. I didn't say the same back because while I was definitely crazy about him, something was off. For instance, I sensed that Jake needed to make a connection to other women as well.

Everywhere we went. Like the sales lady at CVS, who cares about this person? Can we go? Do you really need her to think you're terrific?

A month later, we went to New York for work and Thanksgiving, and he went down to use the building's gym and his journal was right there. Right there. I'd like to tell you that I had some hesitation about whether to open this thing up and read it. That I thought for even one single second about right and wrong, but I didn't.

In his diary, there were some interesting entries, but let's see, the one that jumped out was Friday was Miho. Saturday was Kiku. Sunday was Jeannie. And then he wrote, what's going on with me?

Three women and three days? What's going on with you? Well, a lot, apparently. And then I read that he did not have an attraction to page turn white women.

White women like me. I knew he dated some Asian women and his ex-wife was Asian. He had Asian assistants, but I didn't think too much about it. I guess that's why I got Sunday.

Maybe it was my fault. I probably should have said right at the start of the relationship. I didn't think it was my fault. I didn't think it was my fault.

I didn't think it was my fault. I didn't think it was my fault. I didn't think it was my fault. Maybe it was my fault.

I probably should have said right at the start of the relationship, I'm not Asian. Before anyone got hurt. Me. Before I got hurt.

I felt like I'd been thrown across the room. Delusion is one thing. Self-delusion is in my bones. But lying?

Those aren't my people liars. There's no style in lying. There's no honor, no panache. And there was no need.

I was going way slower than he was. Had in fact suggested to him that we keep things loose, the other people. But he insisted he'd not want us to see other people. I then read in the journal, there are some real red flags with Jeannie.

Red flags. Me. I got red flags. I've been flagged.

You're banging two other women on this page alone and you flag me? I decided then and there that I'd just been handed my new stage name. Red flags. Two D's.

Two G's. I stopped reading and grabbed my jacket and headed out to meet my friends. I texted him what I had done and said I would get my things later. I got a text back saying, don't run Jeannie.

Talk. Don't run. Don't run. I can't put on my Nike's fast enough box.

I never talked to him again. The following morning I drove to a house in the country for Thanksgiving with my sister and her husband and two kids and a bunch of old friends. I had woken up sick and by the time the car pulled into the driveway I had laryngitis and couldn't speak. So for the next two days in his house in the woods, I couldn't say a word.

I sat by the blazing fire outside. The white girl whose boyfriend didn't like white girls. Yes, he was a jerk. But I was a snoop.

I now actually felt bad about what I'd done. That night everyone else took turns telling me there's nooping stories, trying to cheer me up. My favorite was one for my sister Liz. He started out with one of those who started out super enthusiastic like showing up my office and calling all the time and giving me presents.

It really really, really into it. This was back when she was about 24 and dating this musician. After four months it went suddenly unexpectedly cold. So I just wanted to find out what happened and why he changed his opinion.

He was in the apartment, went into the shower and left his diary sitting out. It was sitting there burning a hole in the nightstand. As I was sitting in the bed and I finally couldn't take it anymore. I just figured I'll take one little peek.

I'll just see what he's thinking about. You get that feeling when you're going out with someone and you don't really know them and you're trying to get to know them better. So first of all you're open to, I see what basically looks like a to-do list. It's like buying you guitar picks.

Get air conditioner fixed. Call grandma her birthday or something. I can never for was break up with Liz. So it was just like the saddest.

I mean it was like the most mundane list of boring things that you eventually had to get around to doing. And I was the fourth on the list. And then I guess looking for more info I just kind of quickly flipped through to see a couple of things. I guess my eye, your eye just searching for your own name and I saw something about like problems with Liz.

Mom was like Liz's boobs are too big. And I was like what kind of person says that about someone. I was like I was 80 years old and I had like the world sag. He was like he's too pretty.

Yeah. After reading his diary she ran home and called him up and broke up with him. Beating him to the punch basically. Liz isn't all that hung up on Snooping being wrong.

She just feels like I always bite you in the butt. And she's right. Reading Jake's journal did bite me in the butt. Some of what I read was so gross there were unsavory details that I haven't talked about here.