It's like watching a demolition derby where nothing else happens for 90 minutes. This week on King Me, you turn, you die. This is Trucks. Whoa, King Me.
Baby. Baby, this is Trucks. You turn, you die. You turn, you die.
You turn, you die. Who is that Sam? Was that Sam Elliott? Sam in the room with us?
I feel like that's something I'm gonna say. After the shit you gave me for Javier Bardell. I'm not letting you do your own deep voice character. Absolutely not.
I'm a fickle tyrant. Welcome to King Me, the official podcast of King Me, the unofficial Stephen King movie podcast down the wrong order. What else is it the official podcast of at this point? Good boys.
I think last week I said it's just taking it easy, just going at your own speed, you know, taking breaks when you need to. This is something you can listen to while in your rocking chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You light up front porch.
In a bathtub. Of your plantation, full of spaghetti. Yeah. Spaghetti plantation.
That chain out now, like, yeah. As always, we like the worst name for a chain than like soup plantation. No, no. It could be one thing if they were invented before slavery.
Right. No, that company happens. It totally, yeah. The slavery just edged them out.
Oh, man. Yeah. That's a real bad one. I don't know.
Every once in a while you hear the name of like a sewer or a restaurant. You're like, did they think about it at all? Yeah, that's certainly one of them. Dress barn.
Another one. Here you go, you fucking cow. Yeah, that feels deliberate, doesn't it? I've never been in a dress barn, but I imagine there's a lot of hay.
Sure, sure. And although Hobby Lobby isn't a euphemism for anything, it does sound like a jerk-off booth. Sure. Might be called that.
Something to that effect. No, I, uh, corporate America work on the names. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't, don't, don't knock on corporate America.
They just did a good job of being good guys at the Super Bowl. Did I? Did you watch the Super Bowl? Yeah.
Pass it, yeah. Okay. What about run-of-ly? Oh boy.
Oh, wow. I hit the ground running, huh? We're passing. Oh boy.
Wow. Sent it home. You're just like setting yourself up. Yeah.
Yeah. I don't need you. Yeah. I'm not sure.
Everybody was young and they were. The Audi commercial. Yeah. Yeah.
The luxury car commercial. Yes. And it says we're all equal. Yeah.
Yeah. There was a lot of selling luxury goods and saying, yeah, we're all on, we're all, yeah. The lumber one was really weird because like, I don't know, a construction company, first of all, talking about Mexico at all seems import-taste. But then also it was like secretly very pro-Trump because it was a wall with a door, which I didn't even, that's from 2015.
Right. That's what he was talking about back then. Right. I'd forgotten that anything happened before a month ago.
Three months. Yeah. Isn't that weird? Yeah.
Yeah. That happened. So the fact that they were able to call back to something from that long, that'd be like, I made a reference to the Beverly Hillbillies to someone my age yesterday and they were flabbergasted. Do they know what it was?
No. Not at all. That was with the fucking Beverly Hillbillies. I only brought it up so that I could say, there's a mildly funny movie from the 90s.
Was it? Yeah. Jim Varney, Ernest P. War L.
He played, is that, is that Ernest's full name? Yeah. How'd you know that? I'm a huge Ernest guy.
Sure. Sure. No to mean, Mm-hmm. I get the reference.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ernest goes to Rob's house.
Every god, I didn't realize that they made that into a movie. I guess like, was that before or after the Brady Bunch movie? Who else was it? Lily Tomlin is in it and we're, who's the guy?
Lily Tomlin, our viewers will know from Grace and Frankie. Right? Yeah. Yeah.
She is Grace Orfranke. Yeah. Who could tell? Yeah.
It's a real, resilient aisle situation. She's also like, I could be lying about this, but I think she's John Travolta's sister. What? Who's the guy who's on the Jim Carrey, or Drew Carrey show?
One of the friends, not Ryan Styles. The other guy. There's another friend. Was it Colin Mockery?
I don't know. Wayne Brady. Was it the woman with all the makeup? No.
Me, me, it was not me. It wasn't me, me. All right. I'll look at that up to you guys.
Sure, sure. And while you're doing that, and everyone's not listening, I'd like to take this opportunity, this ill-timed opportunity to ask your own. D-DRICK Bader. You should have said two chicks at the same time, man.
Oh, yeah. I don't know what you were talking about. That's right. You know what I'm doing.
No, man. No, man. I reckon you get your ass kicked saying something like that. That's, this is a shit.
Shit, yo. Let me take this ill-timed opportunity. Remember Napoleon Diamond? Aww, Tina, Tina, Tina, why haven't you eaten the food yet?
Gosh. Hello, Tina. Hello, Tina. Oh, you gotta go for the Pedro.
My favorite line. That movie was, I think it was funny in Napoleon Diamond. I think it was beating a death with a big big old stick. Yeah, it's hard to look at it now.
But at the time, it was just before when it was kind of, it was not a huge thing. I mean, it was, it was funny. It was funny. It was a devastating blow.
And then it went the way the Borat. Right, Borat and so many Austin powers before it. Yeah, but I think the difference is there's like a lack of quality to the Austin powers movies. I haven't seen them since it really since they were like a thing.
Oh, Rob, be hey. No, don't don't revist. Don't behave, don't behave. Do not comply with Austin power.
So once again, fifth time I'm gonna take this. I wasn't kidding when I said ill timed opportunity. It wasn't even an opportunity. I would like to remind everyone that they can subscribe.
Oh, you hear that? That's the crack of the La Croix, which means it's time. To log on to the iTunes store, find our page in the podcast section. Why don't you subscribe if you're listening via not iTunes.
And why don't you rate and review us at any rate. However you receive the podcast. What? Nothing.
What's funny? No. No. I just wanna get through this.
I wanna get through it so bad. We're gonna talk about trucks, but I also don't wanna talk about the movie. So you're dreading it. Okay, all right.
That's fine. Yeah, no, I mentioned this in part because we did get a new review. Okay. It says corn kids from Chi-Chis by Matt West, AKA Phobbez.
I can't, Matt. I'm so sorry. I actually, I did have a nice brief Twitter exchange with Matt. He seems like a nice enough fella.
Good job, Matt. Good on ya. Hi, Matt. Five stars, he says.
This is hilarious. You guys are great. I'm a huge fan of riff tracks and follow Sean T on Twitter. T stands for Tomison.
So honestly, any chance I get to hear the riff tracks writers talk about passions on any type of broadcast, I'm there. This is a wonderful podcast to stumble onto and off of depending on your whiskey part taking. The Children of the Corn became the sci-fi presents of the 90s, which is what many of the Stephen King TV movies turned into. Thank you.
Keep doing what you're doing and keep singing that arrow, Smith. Well, if I must. No, I'm not gonna do it. No, no, no.
I have not had. Did you just say, I gotta do it? I gotta do that. Do you just, I, I, I didn't.
No, I didn't. Don't push me, bro. I said nagat. Nagat.
And then, and then I think you saw me wanna do it. Yeah. Yeah, one day. I got, I got, I got, I got, I got.
Again, five, five stars. I wanna be a clear five stars. Santa Cara V did a mean George Bush impression back in the 90s. Yeah.
What's really interesting about the Dana Carvey show is like, you see the sketch that's sketch where he plays Bill Clinton. Yes. And then you're like, you find out Louis C.K. wrote that and you're like, oh, he didn't change anything in 20 years.
He's still doing that exact stick. Yeah. So for anybody out there, I guess who has a stick. Hopefully it's all.
Hey, here's an idea. If you have a stick, don't block the hotel door and show it to women. Oh, there you go. Hey, no fun on this show.
So this week, we'll be talking about trucks. This should, this should delight. Reviewer, friend of the show, Matt, who called for TV movies. Express some interest in them.
I can't remember what he said. It was forever ago. It's a TV movie from 1997. Clocks in at a vicious 135, I mean, one hour 35 minutes.
95 minutes. Directed by Chris Thompson, not to be confused with Sean Thomason, friend of the show. Right. Sounds almost nothing like it.
But I did wanna make that clarification based on the short story by Stephen King, not to be confused with Sean Thomason. I was thinking about this the other day, driving around, just driving in the back of the country, just weaving across the lines, like so many Ben Gazares before you. Yeah. Yeah.
With these short stories, they feel like they're, like the corn kids, right? Nine movies. Children of the corn, if you're new to the show. They don't, there's no consistency between any of them.
No, there's no sort of connection really besides years of corn. The corn kid, sometimes, even sometimes not. I will remind you that although there were years of corn in this one, there were only about five and they were in like the very beginning of the movie. Some of these movies are fixated on the corn itself.
Yeah. Otherwise, not so much. But it wasn't two and three both heavily worried about the corn itself and the ears of corn. It was a linchpin, a linch cob.
A book of, to the essential sort, the overall story. Yes. But these short stories, people just take such liberty. Yeah, you got it.
Because it's, although I don't even know if that's true. I feel like it's like writing a treatment for a movie. Yeah. Like, we have seven pages of a thing and we can start here.
Imagine Shirley Jackson's The Lottery as a feature length film. What is that? That's the one where there's like a big town lottery, everyone gathers in the town square and they draw names and then. Oh, somebody gets stoned?
Okay. Spoilies. That's our answer. For the whole.
For the whole. 100 year old short story. Oh, come on. It's a great story.
I know that I read it. I read it like a week ago and I said, this holds up. I says to myself, I said to Amazon.com review. I opened my window and I yelled, this holds up.
And I didn't hear any protests. So yes, my point was, no, no, no, it's like a whole story, but it's set in one location in one very short span of time. So if you like, same, I'm imagining the same goes for this story, which trucks is our second remake, correct? It is our second remake.
Yeah. Yes, it's a remake of Maximum Overdrive, Stephen King's cocaine directorial debut, which the other one was the shining. Yes, that's right. Yeah, no, no, the trucks is the second adaptation of the short story.
First one was Maximum Overdrive, which was all Coke, Emilio Estebes, look in a fucking mess. Yeah. ACDC heavily involved. Like, all right.
Sure. I did not like Maximum Overdrive. No, neither of us did. Right.
Somehow. Like, as like fueled by cocaine as the movie is, real boring. Yeah. There's a bazooka in that movie.
Yeah. And we're both like yawn. Yeah, it's real weird. And they're thinking about it.
There are people that are fucking, that waitress swings for the fences. And the way that we made you? Yeah, we made you. Yeah.
And no swinging waitress in this. Nope. Hey, let me get a swinging waitress. Extra pig parts.
Jeez. I don't know. Pig parts. No, you ordered the diner.
Right. Say extra pig parts, ring the bell, and then they give it to you. I mean, you have every table had a bell on it. Everyone constantly.
Big adults. Yeah. Ring bells. Yeah.
I don't know. There's really nothing to grab onto in this. I thought that like, I forget anyone's name in this movie. So I'm going to call her the entitled wife.
The woman who is just like so unhappy about a marriage that's clearly always been like this. I thought she was going to be our one. And I feel like she teetered on being our swing for the fences. Yeah.
They were building her up to me. Yeah. It's like I thought it was going to be her or the little lesbian girl. She didn't kiss the boy, right?
Did not kiss the boy. I was good because that went about it. I thought it like her because she was so like cyberpunked out. Right.
Her costume. Love a good cyberpunk movie. Maybe low key. We're aging hippie played by David Crosby.
It was Crosby. It was from Crosby Sales Nation. Yeah. He plays Jack who is just like this leftover from the 70s.
But he's I don't even know if his age matches up with that. Like he might have just like, yeah, like he was probably like 45. Right. Right.
Like how old were parents grown ups in the 80s? How old were adults in the 80s? He was only about 45 when this movie. So like he's a 45 real man, 1997.
Do math doesn't really check out. He wasn't around for Vietnam. He didn't have to burn his bra or anything. He did say, oh, Korea.
That was such a weird moment. Yeah. So it's like he went there one time and did not like it. He was like, no, but he was also like Korea.
Beautiful people. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.
The general, we talked if you. The channel set up is, you know, the trucks come to life. That's it. That's it.
And honestly, like even more remote town than right. This is like at the bottom of a quarry. This is like a fake sort of. I think it's at the bottom of a quarry.
Everyone has to climb out of a quarry. Yeah. Well, our town's like 40 feet into the earth. And do you know why?
I'm not moving. There were rich mineral deposits. So they just started blowing up around us. Yeah.
So yeah, no, the trucks come to life. And I feel like in maximum overdrive, at least they gave us too much exposition as to why that was happening. And this had just sort of happened. But there was a police in his gas cloud.
I'm looking back fondly on maximum overdrive now. Like, I wish we had the maximum overdrive. We're like, you know, the guy was getting hit in the nuts with a soda can. We did not.
Yeah, none of that. No, not got killed by toy cars. Yeah. That's like our crazy.
So stupid. Yeah. All the blood in this was terrible. Real bad blood.
That guy was jelly munch by the end of his time on earth. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.
It's here's another big problem for me is that it our hero, the star of the movie, our weak chin hero is Timothy busfield of felt who no more. He was in field of dreams. He plays Mark field. Oh, he was also in Revenge of the Nerds.
He played point Dexter. Oh boy. Okay. He did not sexually assault anybody in that.
I was going to ask if he was the one in the Vader man. So that's how I was going to phrase him. He was like, they were all, you know, pretty nerded out, but he was especially I feel like he had like big glass. He was like the hollow bones one.
Yeah. And like, yeah, he always wore like a suit jacket. You see the one who shows up, he like moves into the gymnasium at the beginning of the movie. I think that yeah, he's one of those.
Yeah. But he's one of those guys. But like the first one is when they do that like dance thing, right? Like the violin.
He's the one playing the violin. He is the one playing the violin. Yeah. Okay.
He's got like punk. Yeah. I think yeah. How's that song go?
Oh, I don't know. There was a minute where I was trying to get my band to cover that. My misspent youth. If you guys only nailed that.
I think about where you'd be. I know. Look at all these motley crews. Get the fuck out of here.
Get that off your little pad. Make me listen to a motley crew song. Never. It's frozen.
It's frozen in shame. It's like a mosquito in Edinburgh. Oh, man. Yes.
And like Jurassic Park, the moral of this movie is life finds a way. Now, to segue back into it, what are you doing? I'm looking up there to revenge on the Nerds song. Oh, great.
Oh, great. I'm just thinking it's you know what it was called? It wasn't revenge on the Nerds, right? Isn't it?
You're so incredible. Or there's just like lambda lambda lambda rapper or something. Oh, man. That sounds great.
Are you ready? Are you ready for the sex girls? That's a excuse me. Excuse me.
There's no comment in that. So it's the sex girls. Hello, we are the sex girls. All night party.
Everyone. All night party. That party all night. Everything's just a little bit off.
This translated out of Russian. Well, I found it on YouTube if you want to plug me in real quick. Yeah, hold on. Go ahead.
And here we go. Oh, okay. And I'm Dan. Just constantly affirming.
Here we go. Here we go. Yeah. This is a good use of our timer.
Oh, man. One of their synthesizers. There we go. Yeah, that's good.
What are you telling me to shut it off? No, no. All right. That's good shit.
Yeah. One of their synthesizers I'll have you know was a courty keyboard. So, yeah, they're programming it. They're writing code.
Computer. Execute the note A. Oh, and here's booger with his guitar. Yeah.
Booger. The cool one. Booger, the cool one. What's that guy's name?
There's nothing sadder than seeing him around now. Not around here. He's always bumming Curtis Armstrong. Oh, cool.
Oh, cool. Oh, the, the, is he an Asian fellow dressed up as a Native American? Oh, yeah. Wow.
So this is two kinds of problematic. Oh, wait. Three. I forgot about the incredibly effeminate gay man.
Who, Lamar? Yeah. They, at the end of this movie, there's a nerd Olympics, right? Or just a regular Olympics, but they're the nerds.
Yeah. Yeah. I love every four years when we get to watch the Bulgarian Olympics. And there's a javelin throw.
And, oh, God. Lamar has especially made one because his wrists are so limp. Isn't that real flappy? Yeah.
Like a dick, like a big dick. It is floppy, but that's the reason, like, it's, there's a joint, like, in the middle where you hold onto. Oh, fine. So it's, guys, man, this movie did not age well.
It was probably, it was really upsetting at the time. Like, I'm sure, you know what? It wasn't at the time. It was, uh, um, it was empowering to nerds.
Yeah. You know, like, you hear like, it was hard, like, talking about it. It was a different time. Oh, my God.
First of all, Great Hardwick. That really was a good hardwick. I don't know. It was a different time.
Oh, yeah. I like that because like, Hardwick is clear. He's just the only, like, everyone else doing a Louis impression just isn't famous. Right.
Yeah. Um, Chris Hardwick, you know, nerd. Uh, isn't that new heir to the Hearst Dynasty, unbelievable. Um, yeah.
What a transparent move. What is he? Jeffrey Tambor? Because he's so transparent.
He's getting all these transparent moves. Do you ever notice that about the title of that show? That, um, that it has two meanings. Yeah.
We're transparent. Um, no. I've never seen that show. Oh, uh, do you know what it's about?
Uh, like going clear Scientology style. Um, no? I don't know if I feel like pushing buttons right now. Yeah, I don't know.
I was going to make some probably off color joke about what about Scientology. Of course. No. Kill them all.
Who's that? Oh, it's like big boy Thursday. Yeah. Or, or, or, fuck me.
Bob Dearest. Yeah, Bob, Bob Dearest. Um, man. What's like shitty comedy was that that had a character named Bob that was, is it like Joe Dert or something?
Yeah. Holy shit. This is a real, the lengths we're going to do not talk about the movie trust from 1997 starting team at the end of the show. Just talking about like shitty comedies.
Yeah. Oh my God. All like late nineties, early 2000s for the most part and then revenge with the noids. Yeah.
Uh, boy. Who else is in this one? It doesn't matter. That's not what we should be talking about.
Brenda, a bake, Becky. I don't, she plays hope. Mm hmm. She's a, she's a real fake Debbie Harry of sorts.
She is a fake Debbie Harry. I, she was in the, um, Tales from the Crypt, the Demon Knight. Oh, we got a, we got an alum? No.
No. Wow. Okay. I should go suck my own day.
That's not the right thing. Go in the corner and suck your own dick. Okay. Welcome back.
I just, you know, the reason we have these foam guards on the microphones is mostly to catch the cum that flies off. I must, Ash. Welcome back to the show. This is a five star split.
Yeah. This is off the rails. Uh huh. Uh huh.
That's a good point. When, when the maximum overdrive story is taken off of the rails of cocaine. Yeah. That's, that's what King was doing.
It really lacks everything. Yeah. I mean, there's not a whole lot to get into this movie. There's, uh, like I said, Timothy Busfeld, he's got a son.
Right. They run this gas station. Right. Um, there's an old man that works like the diner at the gas station.
We served in Korea. Right. That's all I remember. And he's pouring soup in the cups at one point.
Yeah. Like, like coffee cups though. Not like soup cups. I get that.
I mean, it's the end of the world. You can like probably bet on not having to do dishes. Right. Um, there are some crazy things in this movie that I do want to talk about.
Oh, all right. So complete 180. Yeah. Well, we got, no, no.
I just remember the one specific crazy. Okay. Um, but I definitely, it needs to be talked about because as there's a, so the trucks are taking over, right? There's a guy.
He's in the back of that fucking, uh, yeah. I thought there was going to be like a body reveal. No, or something. Yeah.
Nothing happens. No, he just dies like cold and alone. It's like, it's like in 2001 where the astronaut just tumbles out in the space and that's the last you ever see of him. Yeah.
Just like, yeah, yeah. Trying to grab on to nothing. Very stressful. Let us not talk about that space man.
Yeah. A moment of silence for the space man who died in the fake movie 2001 space. I was like, um, it seems to me that you lived your life like a black guy. Excuse me.
And like, unlike that clip, there's not one black person in this movie. Right. It's all white. What?
I don't know. Did I say something? I don't know. It's something in your tone.
It was like, well, I mean, maybe it was the fact that you put your hands behind your head and kicked your feet up and you said that. Yeah. And then off mic you said, you know what? I could get used to this.
I didn't care for it. If it was in poor taste and frankly, I just don't agree myself personally. It's fucked up. It's pretty fucked up dude.
No. Um, so I don't know man. Well, okay. The general premise like our characters here.
So there's Ray. He's the father. He's got a son that so they work the gas station and shit. Brenda, she runs she runs she runs a camping slash tour group.
What state are they in Arizona? So 51 New Mexico. So it's probably New Mexico. No, it's not because some at some point someone's like, I'd expect this sort of thing in New Mexico.
Oh, so maybe Arizona. It's Arizona. It's Arizona. The town is called Lunar.
Yeah, Lunar. Lunar Arizona. Right. All the way to Tacoma.
Philadelphia, Atlanta, LA. That's right. And we're we're introduced to like some characters like Brenda. So the real character.
Hope is taking this group out to go camping. Right. And it's the three people. Yeah.
Two of them know each other. Yeah. One of the guys is like this. He's in the Air Force or something.
Right. So he's got like he's got the high-entry cut. It's him, his daughter, who's like 16, 17 also has sort of a high-and-tight thing going on. And she's like kind of bitchy.
She's very fucking dead. Yeah. And we find out it's entirely because her parents got divorced. Right.
That is as far as I can tell the only thing she's ever had to deal with. Right. And then there's also like I said, was it David Crosby. Yeah.
They've had old hippie who looks a lot like David Crosby. Which one of his lines are. He looked familiar. He looked familiar.
Well, oh wait. This was weird. They're getting off this small group. They're about to go in and sort.
They take a bus into this town and they get off the bus. And the first thing is like the military guy like Hope goes up to this guy and she says Mr. Toomey. What?
Yeah. Craig Toomey? Yeah. Real weird, right?
What? And it was like clearly done in voiceover? Yeah. So I don't know.
But like ADR, not voiceover. But what was his name though? Not Craig. He said to me.
Is there any mention of a fad to me? Fadacious to me. I mean, I guess it would make sense. Right?
He absconded to the military. He didn't follow in father's footsteps. No, father would be so displeased. Yes.
This is the estranged to Toomey. All right. An alternate universe to me. Or maybe just a cousin.
Could just be a cousin. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe more likely on an hour.
Slow your roll. Just this cousin. Yeah. From, uh, fucking, oh, what was it?
Was it Fire Starter? No. No. What's the movie where like someone seeks refuge in like a house with a bunch of hippies.