47. Shoftim: Murder, She Wrote ~Understanding how to ressurect from unintentional murder

I am one of three siblings. My older brother was born 16 months before me, and my sister seven years after me. My brother and I are as different as night and day. He is blessed with social skills, a keen understanding of the authority hierarchy, and how to play them. Me, not so. Therefore, I spent my most formative years being asked again and again, “Why can’t you be like your older brother?!” Being brought up in a generation when kids were to be seen and not heard, all I could do was to yell at the top of my imaginary voice, “Because I am not my brother! I am me!” Eventually, I took the rule of kids are to be seen to heart, and starting acting out in order to be seen. When a child feels unaccepted by his primary caretakers, educators, and what he perceives as all of society, he learns that the alternative to being loved and accepted is to be resented, and thus, he sets upon being resented by society. Some take this to the extreme and end up having run-ins with the law. But for by the grace of G-d, I was spared any permanent dealings with the law, but did the darn best that I could in being resented by a system who refused to accept me, by the authorities who just wanted me to be like my older brother, and by would-be-friends who I wouldn’t give a chance to choose to resent me, because I instead forced upon them to resent me. The fact is that I am but one of a huge percentage of a large population. And, it is for this one percent within each of us that this lecture is going to explore the “Murder, She Wrote,” of our well-intentioned primary caretakers and educators, and with this, this lecture will give clear guidance in how to resurrect ourselves from this unintentional murder, and to go on and fully live the life of who G-d created us to be. If you have any questions or comments on this lecture please email Rabbi Avrohom Lipszyc at [email protected]. -------- Here is a link to the written notes of this lecture, which will be available until September 15, 2016, after which you can email [email protected] to request them: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/4614078/47.%20Shoftim%205776%20Parsha%20Class.pdf