47: Why Don't I Feel Happy? with Jennifer

At my signature retreat, many of the women who attended seemed to have amazing connections and gone through physical transformations – in just three short days. It made me think of questions I get a lot, which are "How do I get to a state of joy and deep connection, and stay there?" and "How do I get rid of hurt feelings from the past, which are impacting my ability to be happy in the present?" When the retreat started, we didn't have the intention to be "happy" or better. We started the retreat with acceptance and love for exactly where we were.  Acceptance is the first law of the spirit. This is where the healing and the transformation always begin. We, humans, learn through contrast. Healing is the application of love to the places inside that hurt. Suppression, repression and pretending you are fine are not bringing love to your dark places. The journey is worth it, because on the other side of the dark is joy. True elation comes from being liberated from the judgments and limiting beliefs that unresolved issues and suppressed emotions perpetuate.    Today's caller, Jennifer, wants to know how to be happier.  The definition of happy is a state of elation or excitement. As human beings who learn or grow through contrast, being in a single state all the time should never be the goal. However, being in the state of awareness, acceptance and in the vibration of love is really what we are here to learn how to do consistently. Love doesn't mean being happy all the time. Love is unconditional, it accepts all and it greets whatever emotion or issue we are facing with compassion. Apathy and indifference are the opposites of love. The more we accept the dark and bring love into the places inside that hurt, the less we feel the darker emotions, and the more we experience the state of happiness and heart-opening gratitude and compassion.    *Coaches: Please don't be attached to pleasing your client by working to get them what they want right away. Ask clients to define things before projecting your definitions on them. As coaches, we are not just listening to words. We are listening to the client's tone of voice, inflection; and we really need to use all of our senses to listen to all of the different ways clients are communicating with us. When the client has an 'aha', encourage them to talk it through.   I invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 2 reservations left. E-mail [email protected] for information on how to join any of my events or business programs.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have the expectation that you should feel happy all the time?  Do you sometimes pretend you are happy, when really you're not? Are you waiting for something outside of you to make you happy or make you feel settled? Are you struggling with not feeling happy at all or being depressed? Maybe, you feel that nothing is wrong, but nothing is right either.    Jennifer 's Question: Jennifer wants to know how to truly feel happy in her life.   Jennifer 's Key Insights and Aha's: She has an unrealistic view of happiness She's trying to source happiness from the outside She pretends to be better than she is She suppresses her emotions   How to get over it and on with it: Allow herself to feel the tears and emotions when they come She should start by accepting and celebrating who she is She should replace 'fine' with honest answers of how she is doing She should commit to doing a 40-day meditation practice   Assignments and Takeaways: Take off your mask and let yourself be seen. Don't pretend to be happy all the time. If you need to talk, ask someone to listen. Use the emotional section of Expectation Hangover to help you get to your dark places of anger, fear or shame. Have a gratitude practice. Every night write down what you are grateful for. Start a meditation practice and read my blog post, Why you are not meditating? Start a 40-day practice - a daily discipline which makes you feel a higher level of acceptance, gratitude and therefore, happiness.      Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.   Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book @chrishassler on Snapchat @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram [email protected] [email protected]