48.  Death Rattles

A podcast meant for sharing thoughts, stories, enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation.  Hello. Welcome, I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. Don't be in such a hurry, she whispered. Where do you think you are going? Sit, relax, listen. Today, Death Rattles.  You seem to be in such a hurry there. Where are you going? Where are you off to in such a rush? You seem so sure it is going to happen. You even seem to know when it is going to happen. We all know it will, to all of us. Why are you so sure it is going to happen now? If recent history has anything to say, you have to admit, you are still here. You were wrong, and for you, I am still there. So what are you so worried about? Why worry about something when there is nothing to be done? There is nothing we can do.  Pity, you are trying to accelerate things. You can’t run into the sun. Fixate as much as you like. You act as if you could will the life out of yourself. Being scared is natural, and a resistance. Perhaps you are placing too much resistance between you and the other side of life. What is the use of that? Although natural, fear will only suck the air out of the room, not your lungs. Wouldn’t it be better to stomp around a few more times, as much as your body allows? Stomp, make the earth tremble at your command. Stomp and send waves up into your legs and belly. Quiver with the earth you stomp on. What’s the use of giving this up? Why not make a list of things you most love and do them? Everyday. You are allowed to. You are meant to. Smell that coffee, lather up that soap, enjoy the water on your face. Give yourself a good cry a day a good laugh and play the music you most love. You resist living any longer and you are going to regret it. That is what you should be resisting, regrets. Goddamnit. Death rattles regardless of our plans and has its calendar on a need-to-know basis. Death rattles with maracas, rainmakers, heavy rains, and deafening thunder.  There is so much we can do while we are alive and there is so much we can do while we are alive. Fear is one of the great time absorbers and puts itself between you and surrender. Face it, don’t let it control and define what is left. Whatever is left. Why not surrender to the love and magnificence of what is there, right in front of you? Why not surrender to life? If only to amass the moments that are in your choosing. What if that were an option? Surrender to the moments you know are full of pleasure, the ones that for an instant allow you forget the current state of things. If the option is available. If it isn’t. If there really isn’t any enjoyment left. No hidden pleasure in the shower, no surprisingly soft pillow to cradle your head, no voice, no caress, no nothing… just the shadows of a life that for some reason keeps holding on to you. Then call me, and we can go over the list again. We can brainstorm. And yes, I will listen in your darkness, with my eyes closed. In the place we exist when our voices are together. If I cannot bring light, I will sit in the darkness with you and wait and will death beside you. I’m not scared anymore. For you, I am brave. If I cannot convince you to seize the day, then I will sit by your side and provoke and harass death. I own those words and my rage is intact (Fito Paez, Todo Se Olvida). Eyes closed, willing in the darkness. For you. Thank you for listening. Where do we go when we die? Is there soul? How do you deal with depression? Don’t forget to talk to a professional. They are listening. For all the other answers,  I’m listening.