48: Part 1: Grief, Loss, Complex Bereavement and Your Sex Life

In episode "48: Part 1: Grief, Loss, Complex Bereavement and Your Sex Life" where Katie Ziskind, couples relationship coach, Gottman level two marriage specialist, sex and intimacy specialist, delves into the delicate intersection of grief, loss, complex bereavement, and your sex life. Join us as we explore how the profound emotional journey of mourning can impact your sexual desire, intimacy, and relationships. All of your emotions and feelings around grief are okay and welcome. You are not alone if you are grieving and feeling all the emotions that you feel. From loss of interest and physical exhaustion to communication challenges and fears of abandonment, Katie Ziskind uncovers the various ways grief influences our sexual experiences. From a young age, many people are taught it is not okay or safe to cry. Grief can make us turn away from others and self-isolate and withdraw. Instead, Katie Ziskind encourages you both to grieve together. Crying and expressing sadness together is a positive way to let grief out and have outlets for grief. Tune in as we navigate this sensitive topic with empathy, understanding, and insights to help you navigate grief and reclaim intimacy in your life. In a long term relationship and marriage, unexpected loss and grief experiences happen. These grief experiences can leave you both feeling sad, confused, grieving, and struggling to cope with these losses. Grief and complex loss can significantly impact your sex life and sex drive in various ways. When you or your spouse are grieving, your emotional and psychological state is often in turmoil, which can affect your libido and sexual desire. Grief and complex loss experiences can lead to more sexual connection for some couples. During times of loss, it can feel like everything is falling apart, so sexual connection can be a steady, constant form of bonding in the midst of pain and emotional chaos. It can offer comfort to you both during times of loss. Grief and complex loss experiences can also lead to a loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyable and recreational hobbies, including sex. For some, the intense emotions associated with grief may overshadow any desire for sexual expression and physical intimacy. Grieving may make it challenging to focus on anything other than your immediate loss. This mental preoccupation can interfere with sexual arousal and sexual enjoyment. There may be intrusive thoughts when you are grieving. You both my find it challenging to be mentally present during sexual activities when coping with complex loss, flashbacks, and grief. Following a significant loss, you and your partner may fear further abandonment or loss, leading to emotional withdrawal and avoidance of intimacy. Losses can trigger massive fears of future loss occurring and the development of narratives including "When is the other shoe going to drop? Who is going to get sick and die next?" Unexpected loss and complex bereavement can rehash and bring up memories of past losses, amplifying the feelings of sadness you both feel. It's essential for you and your spouse, when you are experiencing grief-related changes in sex drive, to practice gentleness with yourselves, kindness towards yourselves, self-compassion and seek professional support. Grief and complex loss experiences are an important time to take good care of yourself in mind, body, and spirit, hydrate during the day with water and eat regular, nutritious meals, reduce and eliminate alcohol consumption. Open communication with your partner and professional support can help you both team up to navigate these challenges and rebuild both sexual and emotional intimacy in healthy ways. Work with Katie Ziskind, relationship coach, Gottman level two marriage specialist, and sex and intimacy specialist at www.WisdomWithinCt.com This podcast is no replacement for seeking professional help.