49. Did You Hear About Santa?

Hello, Welcome. I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. Musing Interruptus is a podcast for sharing thoughts and stories and enjoying idiomatic phrases. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode; click on continue reading to open a Google Doc with the complete transcription. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, follow and share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. Drop a comment with your answers to today’s questions! I love hearing from you! The background music is called Lechuza by Blue Dot. Today, a conversation between Rebecca and Kimberly…  Looks like someone has a bit of gossip. Rebecca: O M G, Kimberly, I just heard the most outrageous news about you know who… the big guy in the red suit.  Kimberly: Jesus, Rebecca. Get on with it; what did you hear? Rebecca: Wouldn’t you like to know? Kimberly: Actually, I could do without your incessant and insidious gossip today.  Rebecca: You’re gonna wanna listen to this. It is going to affect you. It’s gonna affect all of us.  Kimberly: out with it then!  Rebecca: I have it on good authority that Santa was caught making Christmas cookies in another kitchen. If you know what I mean.  Kimberly: I think everyone knows what you mean.  Rebecca: Fine. Well anyway, Mrs. Claus got a whiff of that from a mutual friend. I won’t say who, but let's just say Santa’s little helper was actually a double agent.  Kimberly: nooooo!!!! Who’s kitchen was it?  Rebecca: (pelican face)... are you sitting down?  Kimberly: Yes, you daft cow, I’m right next to you., you daft cow! Rebecca: You are not going to believe it.  Kimberly looks at Rebecca with intensity and curiosity. Rebecca: Let’s just say that Mariah Carey finally got what she has been asking for after all these years. Kimberly:  Snaps the ribbon. Rebecca: Nooo, I don’t know the details… maybe.  Kimberly: Oh my God! Rebecca: So, you can imagine how Mrs. Claus felt when she found out. She packed her bags and left for Acapulco. The elves heard her muttering something about getting it on with Mexico’s Sun. Apparently, she had received several invitations to Acapulco Bay, so she decided to take him up on it.. Rudolph and Vixen confirmed they flew her south.  Kimberly: Good for her. You go get yours, Mrs. Claus.  Rebecca: Yeah. But now… There is a whole commotion about Christmas. The elves are beside themselves like their hero has just fallen from his pedestal. Nobody is working in the Santa’s Shop. Santa is in Colorado! I just don’t see how this is going to work out. He is supposed to be halfway through the naughty or nice list. The elves say they haven’t seen anything like this since the last time Mrs. Claus got angry, and it was over bathroom cleanliness. So you can imagine what this amounts to on that scale.  Kimberly: Gosh darn it, we need to do something.  Rebecca: Yeah, I need another cup of coffee! Waiter! Thank you for listening.  Continue reading