5 Things To Do When Going Through Hard Times

Aleigh [00:00:00]: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the show. Today, we're gonna be talking about 5 things to do when you're going through something hard. I know this is something that is absolutely inevitable for everyone, and I know there's also different levels of this, of course, whether you're facing a job loss or maybe just a disappointment, something that you didn't see coming, something unexpected, or it could be something serious like, losing a loved one. And there's so many levels of this, but I think that we can all learn from each other. And I know that these five things have helped me along the way when I faced difficult things, and have also helped other people that I love. And so, I'm excited to share them with you. First, I'm gonna read from John 1633, and it's Jesus talking to his disciples before he's gonna be crucified. And it says, I have said these things to you that in me, you may have peace. Aleigh [00:00:54]: In the world, you will have tribulation, but take heart, I have overcome the world. And I think this is so encouraging, not only to them at the time, but this is something that we can glean from as well. That, oftentimes, I think people don't know what to make of the troubles that they're facing and their difficulties. But, what's important to understand is that God is with us. This is something that He's already overcome. He's overcome sin, and He's overcome death. And so, it's important to realize that tribulation is temporary. This life is not eternal, and it's not something that's going to last forever. Aleigh [00:01:33]: And so it's just a good thing to keep note of that. We have the creator God that is on our side, and that he's gonna help us through these things. So the first thing is pray, and just one important thing to remember is that God can handle what you're going through. I think, so often, we try to hide our real feelings from God, which is so ironic, because he knows what they are. And so, you may as well just share it with him. I think that, lamenting to God is kind of a lost art, and we can honestly, just, kind of, put on a show for him. But he knows what's happening underneath. And so, I think, you can see throughout scripture how important this is, because so much of scripture is actually people expressing their disappointment, their sadness, their grief to God. Aleigh [00:02:25]: And he responds so graciously, and he wants to commune with us. He wants to have friendship with us and relationship with us. And he wants to heal heal our hurt and heal our pain. And so, instead of letting those survival instincts take over and allowing isolation to just encroach on us, I think it's very important to pray and be honest with God about what you're going through. He's a big boy and he can handle it. And instead of disappointment, it's your place where we can find a lot of healing, which brings me to the next point, which is communing with others and also communing with God. It determines not only how we exit this season, but I think it also does something impactful through our journey of grieving, Whether, like I said, it's something serious, like the loss of a loved one or whether it's just something difficult, like losing a job. And I know that our self preservation can kick in and we can just wanna hide in the closet. Aleigh [00:03:34]: But, of all times, it's very important. If we have loved ones near us, to embrace them and open ourselves up to them, but, ultimately, open ourselves to God is the most important thing. And, so, the third thing we're gonna talk about is self care through seeking proper help. You can also take baby steps towards healing if needed, diet, exercise, sleep. There's so many things that we can do to take care of ourselves, but, again, varies based on the level of difficulty that of whatever it is that we're going through. But, even if it is deep grief through through losing somebody that we love, maybe that means reaching out to professional help. I know that can be healing for people. And I know, oftentimes, even in situations that are as intense as that, maybe a lot of times we want to close ourselves off to people that could help us. Aleigh [00:04:34]: And so, maybe self care in that scenario looks like welcoming other people in our circle. Maybe it looks like allowing us to feel whatever we're feeling. And then on the flip side of that, also, if you're going through something difficult that is maybe not as heavy as the loss of a loved one. Maybe that looks like making exercise a priority. Maybe it looks like sleeping so that you can make better decisions. I know that sleep is detrimental to good decision making, and maybe it means cleaning your house. I know that sounds crazy, but, honestly, I think whenever we go through hard things, especially the harder that they are, we can start to get into kind of a survival mode. And that is very easy to do and very normal. Aleigh [00:05:27]: And I know that when I've gone through hard things, I just kinda let my house go, and then I feel like a different person. And so even calling somebody up and saying, hey, I'm going through it right now, and I could use some help, or just starting by sweeping the floors. I don't know. But I know that it can make a very big difference whenever you're going through something that is serious, and you're having a hard time. And sometimes, those little tasks can kinda feel like they become mountains. But then, after you do it, you realize that it was the survival mode that made it feel so big. So that's been a big one for me. And the 4th one is outline your goals for every area of life. Aleigh [00:06:08]: And this is to prevent life from going so far out of balance in a way that will hurt yourself and others. Because often, when we're going through something difficult, the difficult thing gets put under the magnifying glass. And then, a lot of times, the more important areas of our life, which can be kids or family or spouse or whatever, those can kind of go to the sidelines, which, obviously, nobody wants. But, when you kind of feel like you're swimming for your life or whatever difficult thing you're facing. It's just something that kind of happens. And so, something that I make a point to do is I outline my goals for my family, for my health, for my spirituality, for my finances. And I remind myself of those goals every day. And a couple of things happen whenever you do that. Aleigh [00:07:03]: For 1, your life will start to go into balance a little bit, because you will start to look at the other areas that can often become out of focus when you're going through something hard. And the other thing that's gonna happen, which doctor Amen talks about this at BrainMD, he talks about how whenever you remind yourself of your goals, your subconscious mind will make decisions throughout the day in order to achieve those goals. And so, it's very important to remind yourself what is my goal for my family, what is my goal for my community, for my friends, for my social life, for my spirituality? And, as we're doing this, when we're going through something difficult, we don't necessarily need to lament if something that is on our list is not our reality currently. Because the truth of it is, we have the power to change our life. You don't have the power to change something that you haven't recognized. And so, it's okay if you're not where you want to be, But keeping where you want to be right in front of you is going to be life changing automatically. And this is also a great way to get yourself to where you wanna be, because honestly, I think a lot of people can relate to this through COVID, where so many people lost their jobs. And I've never seen so many people shooting for the stars and going for their dreams. Aleigh [00:08:38]: And I think we've uncovered the false sense of security that many of us have through our jobs or schools or whatever it is, thinking, oh, this is what it is. And we realized that it's actually not. And we realized how things are not as reliable as they may seem. And so I think that was actually a great thing for people to have the opportunity, even through a hardship and and a difficult time for so many people, to think, what is it that I actually want? And I think many people actually woke up one day realizing that what I want is not what I'm doing. And, I think, many of us got the shove of encouragement from situations that were beyond our control. Kinda like when you're 12 and you don't wanna jump in the cold pool and your friend just kinda gives you a push. I think that was COVID for a lot of us. But I think it is a beautiful example of how we can rise to greater things even whenever things get hard. Aleigh [00:09:39]: And something that's important is that we don't become victims of our situation, because even if something is hard that was completely out of your control and maybe it was completely unfair. A lot of times, we can tend to victimize ourselves and victims can't help themselves. They can't do anything. And whenever you see a difficult situation as the opportunity to respond, then you actually become a survivor and a victor. And so, I think that's a very important differentiation to make that whenever we go through something difficult, it's okay to recognize that it's not fair, But there is a very big difference between the people that will take responsibility to do what they can with what they've been given, versus deciding that life always has to be a certain way because of the hand that's been dealt to them. And the 5th and final thing is that I try to welcome the struggle and embrace my ability to endure it. And, I know that sounds kinda crazy, it sounds a little counter cultural, but it's true, and this has been one of the golden nuggets that has gotten me through a lot of different things. But, in one circumstance in particular that I'm thinking of was when my husband didn't have a job for a couple years, and we actually went meal to meal for several months of that. Aleigh [00:11:03]: I know that a lot of people in the United States don't realize that that is a reality for many many people, and they don't always have access to the resources that are available. And so when I say meal to meal, I mean, breakfast. He would go and work so that we would have enough money for lunch. And I also don't mean that he had a paycheck coming from another job or whatever. He didn't. He was delivering food, and so it was absolutely crazy. We did have a baby at the time, and it was just a very very intense season, but it can be easy to get into a survival mindset of saying, okay, this won't last forever, and just looking forward to the day that it won't be like that. But, honestly, I've met just beautiful people around the world that are not happy because they know that their situation won't last forever because, honestly, it could. Aleigh [00:11:59]: But they're actually happy because they know that God will be with them and will be victorious with them in the end. And I wanted to be like that, but I honestly just had no idea how hard it would be to get there. And so, I thought, you know, if my joy can be made complete in God, then it doesn't matter if this lasts forever. And the power of that is, I'm not waiting to be joyful until this is over. And I'm not gonna stay in survival mode until this is over. But I'm actually gonna thrive while this is happening. And, you know, Lord, if you fed Elijah with a bird, then I know that if you have to use a bird or whatever you have to use, you're gonna use it to feed me. And, honestly, looking back at that time, I'm amazed by the miraculous ways that he provided for us. Aleigh [00:12:50]: It was absolutely crazy. And I think during that time, he yielded just the most beautiful fruit in us that I think is gonna last forever. And so, that's also just a great aspect of the difficult things that we go through is oftentimes the beautiful things that come out of our lives is not necessarily from the victories that we gain, but, actually, it's from the process and the journey and the difficult things. And it's so important to understand that you are not alone. And I'm so encouraged by this passage of scripture. It is found in Ecclesiastes 3 1 through 11. And it says, for everything, there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. Aleigh [00:13:36]: A time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to break down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together. A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. A time to seek and a time to lose. Aleigh [00:14:00]: A time to keep and a time to cast away. A time to tear and a time to sew. A time to keep silence and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. And if you think the Bible doesn't say it all, that just sums it up right there. It's amazing the wisdom that we can just find in these scriptures and just to realize that, you know, there's nothing new under heaven. People go through things that are so difficult and the Bible says it very clearly in Romans 828. It says, and we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good. For those who are called according to his purpose. Aleigh [00:14:39]: And I think that's so encouraging because so often, I think, we don't look past ourselves and the difficult things that we go through, but life is just not about us. Oftentimes, it's about a lot of the people that are around us, the people that are watching that we don't even realize. It's so funny. I walk or I run every morning and it's just a great time where I can pray and process. And sometimes, I learn languages. But I wave so often to people, and sometimes I feel like I'm in the matrix because I don't see people waving back that often. And it's so funny. I was at the pool a few days ago that we have in our neighborhood, And somebody was saying, oh, yeah. Aleigh [00:15:25]: That's so inspiring. I see you exercising all the time, and it encourages me. And I just thought that that was so funny, because I actually have felt so unseen in those times. And I just thought that was so funny and it reminded me of almost motherhood. How we just don't realize that our kids are watching us until we have an moment of them repeating something that we say or or copying something that we do. And so just be encouraged that God sees you. He sees everything that you're going through. And if you're in a place of mourning right now, He's mourning with you, but He's not gonna leave you there. Aleigh [00:16:05]: He is going to give you hope. And Jeremiah 2911 says it so well that his plans are to prosper us and not to harm us, but to give us hope in a future. And even in the darkest times when it seems like there is no hope and nothing will ever change, God is our hope. And as you keep crying out to him and praying to him, he will hear you. And that reminds me of this verse that I was reading through this week, and it is found in Luke 115 through 13. It says, and he said to them, which of you has a friend? Well, go to him at midnight and say to him, friend, lend me 3 loaves for a friend of mine has arrived on a journey and I have nothing to set before him. And he will answer from within, do not bother me. The door is now shut and my children are with me in bed. Aleigh [00:16:56]: I cannot get up and give you anything. I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything, because he is his friend. Yet, because of his imprudence, he will rise and give him whatever he needs. And I tell you, ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. And I just love that picture, how it communicates the faithfulness of God and the way that whenever his children ask him, he will deliver. Aleigh [00:17:31]: You know, oftentimes, God will answer prayers in ways that we do not expect, and in timelines that we don't expect because we want everything right now. And, of course, God is concerned in process. He's concerned in the other people in our lives that we're impacting, and he's concerned for our hearts. He wants our hearts and and our communion with him, and it's just a beautiful thing how he's so faithful to not only heal us, but to show up in our lives when we're in places of need in ways that we could not show up for ourselves. And he lives up to part of his identity in John 1416 that defines himself as the advocate. He advocates for us. And I think that's one of the most beautiful things, honestly, about going through difficult times is that we can not just come to know God in a deeper way, but come to understand For joining me today, and remember that God is with you, and, For joining me today, and remember that God is with you, and we'll see you next time.