The Golden Nuggets Podcast

Aleigh [00:00:00]: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the show. Today, we're gonna be talking about 5 things to do when you're going through something hard. I know this is something that is absolutely inevitable for everyone, and I know there's also different levels of this, of course, whether you're facing a job loss or maybe just a disappointment, something that you didn't see coming, something unexpected, or it could be something serious like, losing a loved one. And there's so many levels of this, but I think that we can all learn from each other. And I know that these five things have helped me along the way when I faced difficult things, and have also helped other people that I love. And so, I'm excited to share them with you. First, I'm gonna read from John 1633, and it's Jesus talking to his disciples before he's gonna be crucified. And it says, I have said these things to you that in me, you may have peace. Aleigh [00:00:54]: In the world, you will have tribulation, but take heart, I have overcome the world. And I think this is so encouraging, not only to them at the time, but this is something that we can glean from as well. That, oftentimes, I think people don't know what to make of the troubles that they're facing and their difficulties. But, what's important to understand is that God is with us. This is something that He's already overcome. He's overcome sin, and He's overcome death. And so, it's important to realize that tribulation is temporary. This life is not eternal, and it's not something that's going to last forever. Aleigh [00:01:33]: And so it's just a good thing to keep note of that. We have the creator God that is on our side, and that he's gonna help us through these things. So the first thing is pray, and just one important thing to remember is that God can handle what you're going through. I think, so often, we try to hide our real feelings from God, which is so ironic, because he knows what they are. And so, you may as well just share it with him. I think that, lamenting to God is kind of a lost art, and we can honestly, just, kind of, put on a show for him. But he knows what's happening underneath. And so, I think, you can see throughout scripture how important this is, because so much of scripture is actually people expressing their disappointment, their sadness, their grief to God. Aleigh [00:02:25]: And he responds so graciously, and he wants to commune with us. He wants to have friendship with us and relationship with us. And he wants to heal heal our hurt and heal our pain. And so, instead of letting those survival instincts take over and allowing isolation to just encroach on us, I think it's very important to pray and be honest with God about what you're going through. He's a big boy and he can handle it. And instead of disappointment, it's your place where we can find a lot of healing, which brings me to the next point, which is communing with others and also communing with God. It determines not only how we exit this season, but I think it also does something impactful through our journey of grieving, Whether, like I said, it's something serious, like the loss of a loved one or whether it's just something difficult, like losing a job. And I know that our self preservation can kick in and we can just wanna hide in the closet. Aleigh [00:03:34]: But, of all times, it's very important. If we have loved ones near us, to embrace them and open ourselves up to them, but, ultimately, open ourselves to God is the most important thing. And, so, the third thing we're gonna talk about is self care through seeking proper help. You can also take baby steps towards healing if needed, diet, exercise, sleep. There's so many things that we can do to take care of ourselves, but, again, varies based on the level of difficulty that of whatever it is that we're going through. But, even if it is deep grief through through losing somebody that we love, maybe that means reaching out to professional help. I know that can be healing for people. And I know, oftentimes, even in situations that are as intense as that, maybe a lot of times we want to close ourselves off to people that could help us. Aleigh [00:04:34]: And so, maybe self care in that scenario looks like welcoming other people in our circle. Maybe it looks like allowing us to feel whatever we're feeling. And then on the flip side of that, also, if you're going through something difficult that is maybe not as heavy as the loss of a loved one. Maybe that looks like making exercise a priority. Maybe it looks like sleeping so that you can make better decisions. I know that sleep is detrimental to good decision making, and maybe it means cleaning your house. I know that sounds crazy, but, honestly, I think whenever we go through hard things, especially the harder that they are, we can start to get into kind of a survival mode. And that is very easy to do and very normal. Aleigh [00:05:27]: And I know that when I've gone through hard things, I just kinda let my house go, and then I feel like a different person. And so even calling somebody up and saying, hey, I'm going through it right now, and I could use some help, or just starting by sweeping the floors. I don't know. But I know that it can make a very big difference whenever you're going through something that is serious, and you're having a hard time. And sometimes, those little tasks can kinda feel like they become mountains. But then, after you do it, you realize that it was the survival mode that made it feel so big. So that's been a big one for me. And the 4th one is outline your goals for every area of life. Aleigh [00:06:08]: And this is to prevent life from going so far out of balance in a way that will hurt yourself and others. Because often, when we're going through something difficult, the difficult thing gets put under the magnifying glass. And then, a lot of times, the more important areas of our life, which can be kids or family or spouse or whatever, those can kind of go to the sidelines, which, obviously, nobody wants. But, when you kind of feel like you're swimming for your life or whatever difficult thing you're facing. It's just something that kind of happens. And so, something that I make a point to do is I outline my goals for my family, for my health, for my spirituality, for my finances. And I remind myself of those goals every day. And a couple of things happen whenever you do that. Aleigh [00:07:03]: For 1, your life will start to go into balance a little bit, because you will start to look at the other areas that can often become out of focus when you're going through something hard. And the other thing that's gonna happen, which doctor Amen talks about this at BrainMD, he talks about how whenever you remind yourself of your goals, your subconscious mind will make decisions throughout the day in order to achieve those goals. And so, it's very important to remind yourself what is my goal for my family, what is my goal for my community, for my friends, for my social life, for my spirituality? And, as we're doing this, when we're going through something difficult, we don't necessarily need to lament if something that is on our list is not our reality currently. Because the truth of it is, we have the power to change our life. You don't have the power to change something that you haven't recognized. And so, it's okay if you're not where you want to be, But keeping where you want to be right in front of you is going to be life changing automatically. And this is also a great way to get yourself to where you wanna be, because honestly, I think a lot of people can relate to this through COVID, where so many people lost their jobs. And I've never seen so many people shooting for the stars and going for their dreams. Aleigh [00:08:38]: And I think we've uncovered the false sense of security that many of us have through our jobs or schools or whatever it is, thinking, oh, this is what it is. And we realized that it's actually not. And we realized how things are not as reliable as they may seem. And so I think that was actually a great thing for people to have the opportunity, even through a hardship and and a difficult time for so many people, to think, what is it that I actually want? And I think many people actually woke up one day realizing that what I want is not what I'm doing. And, I think, many of us got the shove of encouragement from situations that were beyond our control. Kinda like when you're 12 and you don't wanna jump in the cold pool and your friend just kinda gives you a push. I think that was COVID for a lot of us. But I think it is a beautiful example of how we can rise to greater things even whenever things get hard. Aleigh [00:09:39]: And something that's important is that we don't become victims of our situation, because even if something is hard that was completely out of your control and maybe it was completely unfair. A lot of times, we can tend to victimize ourselves and victims can't help themselves. They can't do anything. And whenever you see a difficult situation as the opportunity to respond, then you actually become a survivor and a victor. And so, I think that's a very important differentiation to make that whenever we go through something difficult, it's okay to recognize that it's not fair, But there is a very big difference between the people that will take responsibility to do what they can with what they've been given, versus deciding that life always has to be a certain way because of the hand that's been dealt to them. And the 5th and final thing is that I try to welcome the struggle and embrace my ability to endure it. And, I know that sounds kinda crazy, it sounds a little counter cultural, but it's true, and this has been one of the golden nuggets that has gotten me through a lot of different things. But, in one circumstance in particular that I'm thinking of was when my husband didn't have a job for a couple years, and we actually went meal to meal for several months of that. Aleigh [00:11:03]: I know that a lot of people in the United States don't realize that that is a reality for many many people, and they don't always have access to the resources that are available. And so when I say meal to meal, I mean, breakfast. He would go and work so that we would have enough money for lunch. And I also don't mean that he had a paycheck coming from another job or whatever. He didn't. He was delivering food, and so it was absolutely crazy. We did have a baby at the time, and it was just a very very intense season, but it can be easy to get into a survival mindset of saying, okay, this won't last forever, and just looking forward to the day that it won't be like that. But, honestly, I've met just beautiful people around the world that are not happy because they know that their situation won't last forever because, honestly, it could. Aleigh [00:11:59]: But they're actually happy because they know that God will be with them and will be victorious with them in the end. And I wanted to be like that, but I honestly just had no idea how hard it would be to get there. And so, I thought, you know, if my joy can be made complete in God, then it doesn't matter if this lasts forever. And the power of that is, I'm not waiting to be joyful until this is over. And I'm not gonna stay in survival mode until this is over. But I'm actually gonna thrive while this is happening. And, you know, Lord, if you fed Elijah with a bird, then I know that if you have to use a bird or whatever you have to use, you're gonna use it to feed me. And, honestly, looking back at that time, I'm amazed by the miraculous ways that he provided for us. Aleigh [00:12:50]: It was absolutely crazy. And I think during that time, he yielded just the most beautiful fruit in us that I think is gonna last forever. And so, that's also just a great aspect of the difficult things that we go through is oftentimes the beautiful things that come out of our lives is not necessarily from the victories that we gain, but, actually, it's from the process and the journey and the difficult things. And it's so important to understand that you are not alone. And I'm so encouraged by this passage of scripture. It is found in Ecclesiastes 3 1 through 11. And it says, for everything, there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. Aleigh [00:13:36]: A time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to break down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together. A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. A time to seek and a time to lose. Aleigh [00:14:00]: A time to keep and a time to cast away. A time to tear and a time to sew. A time to keep silence and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. And if you think the Bible doesn't say it all, that just sums it up right there. It's amazing the wisdom that we can just find in these scriptures and just to realize that, you know, there's nothing new under heaven. People go through things that are so difficult and the Bible says it very clearly in Romans 828. It says, and we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good. For those who are called according to his purpose. Aleigh [00:14:39]: And I think that's so encouraging because so often, I think, we don't look past ourselves and the difficult things that we go through, but life is just not about us. Oftentimes, it's about a lot of the people that are around us, the people that are watching that we don't even realize. It's so funny. I walk or I run every morning and it's just a great time where I can pray and process. And sometimes, I learn languages. But I wave so often to people, and sometimes I feel like I'm in the matrix because I don't see people waving back that often. And it's so funny. I was at the pool a few days ago that we have in our neighborhood, And somebody was saying, oh, yeah. Aleigh [00:15:25]: That's so inspiring. I see you exercising all the time, and it encourages me. And I just thought that that was so funny, because I actually have felt so unseen in those times. And I just thought that was so funny and it reminded me of almost motherhood. How we just don't realize that our kids are watching us until we have an moment of them repeating something that we say or or copying something that we do. And so just be encouraged that God sees you. He sees everything that you're going through. And if you're in a place of mourning right now, He's mourning with you, but He's not gonna leave you there. Aleigh [00:16:05]: He is going to give you hope. And Jeremiah 2911 says it so well that his plans are to prosper us and not to harm us, but to give us hope in a future. And even in the darkest times when it seems like there is no hope and nothing will ever change, God is our hope. And as you keep crying out to him and praying to him, he will hear you. And that reminds me of this verse that I was reading through this week, and it is found in Luke 115 through 13. It says, and he said to them, which of you has a friend? Well, go to him at midnight and say to him, friend, lend me 3 loaves for a friend of mine has arrived on a journey and I have nothing to set before him. And he will answer from within, do not bother me. The door is now shut and my children are with me in bed. Aleigh [00:16:56]: I cannot get up and give you anything. I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything, because he is his friend. Yet, because of his imprudence, he will rise and give him whatever he needs. And I tell you, ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. And I just love that picture, how it communicates the faithfulness of God and the way that whenever his children ask him, he will deliver. Aleigh [00:17:31]: You know, oftentimes, God will answer prayers in ways that we do not expect, and in timelines that we don't expect because we want everything right now. And, of course, God is concerned in process. He's concerned in the other people in our lives that we're impacting, and he's concerned for our hearts. He wants our hearts and and our communion with him, and it's just a beautiful thing how he's so faithful to not only heal us, but to show up in our lives when we're in places of need in ways that we could not show up for ourselves. And he lives up to part of his identity in John 1416 that defines himself as the advocate. He advocates for us. And I think that's one of the most beautiful things, honestly, about going through difficult times is that we can not just come to know God in a deeper way, but come to understand For joining me today, and remember that God is with you, and, For joining me today, and remember that God is with you, and we'll see you next time.

Aleigh: Hello, everybody, and welcome to the show. Today, we are gonna be talking about how to make healthy eating fun. And I think a lot of people just really hate this so much because we really deprive ourselves from the things that we know and love. And then we somehow just expect to, by sheer willpower, be able to do that forever. And truthfully, we just can't. And so, at some point, we decide to go on a diet and we start it and we start off strong. And then who knows whether it's a half a day or a week or 2 weeks later. We just can't really be miserable anymore, and we just decide to derail. Aleigh: And it starts with a cheat day. And then, I don't know if you've ever done this. I know I've done it. You then just throw in the towel and decide, okay. You know what? I can't do this. This isn't worth it and I want my life back. And so we're just gonna be talking about some ways on how to really make it sustainable and something that helps you actually enjoy life more. And I think the first thing that we should pay attention to is really knowing our why behind why we're doing what we're doing. Aleigh: I know that some people will change their eating habits because maybe the doctor said that it's something you need to do for your blood pressure, or maybe you wanna lose some weight, or maybe you wanna feel better. Honestly, there's a lot of ties between healthy eating and improving mental health. Maybe some people wanna enhance their relationships. Of course, when we have better mental health, then we also in turn have better relationships, so that's a huge reason. But, yeah, I think knowing your why is really important. I know for me, mental health issues run-in my family, and so I am on a mental health enhancement plan every day. And I also wanna be the best mom that I can be to my kids, and knowing that sugar and refined carbohydrates that process into sugar can trigger brain health issues and in turn, cause anxiety and depression, and other mental health issues that really negative impact people all over the world every day. Those are just things that I try to avoid. Aleigh: I wanna be an energetic mom, and I wanna be present. I wanna be there for my kids. And so, I really ask is what I'm doing aligning with my goals is what I'm about to eat, going to give me the energy to be the person that I want to be, or is it gonna make me take a step back? And so, yeah, knowing your why is super important. Another thing that's super helpful is practicing to prepare healthy foods. I know a lot of people just assume that they don't like certain foods, because maybe they haven't had them prepared very well in the world that we live in today where so many people have exposure to vegetation from a can or frozen bag or saturated in chemicals, obviously, the taste gets compromised there. And so, really, who wants to eat a big soggy glop of something that used to be a very beneficial, nutritious food. And so I would say that if you're wanting to go ahead and start eating healthy, really start to see what foods it is that you want to avoid and what foods it is that you want to consume. So for me, I like to stay away from sugar, because of the impact that it has, not just on the brain, but on all the body systems. Aleigh: It really depletes your energy, it causes mood swings, and can certainly trigger anxiety, depression, things like that. Another thing is I like to avoid refined carbohydrates, because the way that your body processes them is actually it turns into sugar as well. And so, it's funny because we'll give our kids some jelly toast, and then expect them to perform well at school, and really, that's just turning into a bunch of sugar in their body, and what goes up must come down. And so, really, it's no wonder that whenever we have things like fruit juice, or breads, or pastas, or things like that, we feel really tired afterwards. And we're really not able to perform or function optimally at any level. And so, that's another thing. I also do like to really consume dairy very minimally, if any, and that's because the way that the gut processes it, there's a certain enzyme that many people don't have, which is why a lot of people can experience really unwanted symptoms when it comes to eating dairy. And so, really, essentially, what's happening with dairy whenever we digest it for many people that don't have this enzyme is we're actually consuming the dairy, and then it's, in a way, kind of rotting in our stomach. Aleigh: And that's why a lot of people get gas and diarrhea and stuff like that. And so, you know, I just say avoid it altogether, and have something that I love this. Doctor Amen says this, to love food that is gonna love you back. It's like a relationship. You don't wanna be in a toxic relationship with people or with food. And so, just like you wanna love people that are gonna treat you well and love you back, and you wanna have them close to you. Let's treat food the same way. So maybe you have only had vegetables or fruits or meats in a very processed form. Aleigh: And what I would recommend is going on to some food blogs and go find some recipes that have very healthy ingredients. And take a trip to the farmer's market, take a trip to the store, get organic foods whenever possible. I was in a pinch, and I went through a drive through, and I got a sandwich with lettuce on it. And I took a bite, and I really tasted bleach. And I was like, oh, no. I think I just ate some foreign material. And, what I pulled out of my mouth was actually a piece of lettuce. And I could not believe how toxic it tasted. Aleigh: And, so, this is something that's super important. It's just whenever possible, try to get local, try to get organic, because there really is a difference. It's not just something that people do to make extra money. There is actually a difference in the pesticide saturation that gets put on our food. And, really, unfortunately, even sometimes organic food, there are still pesticides that they do use on it. And so, I do try to go to the farmer's market and get pesticide free food whenever possible. But, really, organic food will still have really nutrient dense qualities. I just try to wash all my food pretty well. Aleigh: There are studies out there and you can go ahead and look it up. But, really, there is a very big difference in the nutrition quality based on how the food is farmed, and whether it's conventionally grown or organically grown. And, obviously, the pesticides are very important to pay attention to, and so this is something that can really make a big impact on, not only the flavor of the food itself, but the nutrition that you're able to get out of it. One thing that I have done that's super fun is get a conventional vegetable of your choice, whether it's a tomato or even a fruit like an apple, and then get an organic one and do a blind test and see if you can actually taste the difference. I know sometimes I can actually taste the pesticides that are used even after I've washed the produce. And so, it's really really crazy. But you will find that the fresher the food is, the better it taste. And if you think about it this way, really, when something is picked off of the source where it's grown, it begins to die. Aleigh: And when something begins to die, then the nutrients begin to deplete. And so, whether you have something fresh off of the tree or whether you have something that has been packaged for 5 years and, yes, that is a thing. It really dictates how much nutrition and how tasty the food actually is. Another thing that can be super fun is whenever you're starting to learn about different foods that you like, is start to make a list of things that you like. Because I know sometimes when we start changing our eating habits, especially in a really drastic way, we can get really burned out or really overwhelmed and think I don't even like any of this food because you just start to kind of want to go back to the old way. We are creatures of habit and our brains are lazy whenever we let them go in default. They will go to a place of comfort and habit. And so, eventually, eating healthy does become a habit and it does actually become a place of comfort. Aleigh: But, while we're on the way there, we have to find tricks in order to help us stick to it. And so, something that's really fun that I've done before is I will make different international themes. And so, maybe for 1 week, I will find whole food Italian recipes, and I will just cook a bunch of different Italian things with a bunch of Italian herbs and things like that. And then maybe the next week, I'll do Hispanic or Japanese or whatever it is. And it it's so fun, and it keeps it way more fresh, and it keeps me learning and doing new things. Another thing that's really helpful is making it into a family affair or getting friends involved is so fun. And it's also gonna keep you a lot more accountable. It's gonna help you to actually reach your goals and making this something that is a lifestyle and not just some short term thing. Aleigh: And a really cool trick that we do in order to help our kids to eat well is for 1, we eliminate all bad foods from the house. So there is really truly nothing that we would have to say no to, which is awesome. And it really helps with power struggle because there is no food there. The other deal is we live by example. And so, we're not gonna ask our kids to do something that we're not going to do. And a lot of times, we'll have people stop us at the park, or just people in the neighborhood or whatever. They see our kids munching on kale and random things. And they'll say, how do you get your kids see so healthy? And we say, oh, well, we healthy, and they're like, oh, never mind. Aleigh: I'm not gonna do it. It really, you have to live this message. If this is something that you want to pass down to your kids, it's something that you are gonna have to show by example. And you may have to take the hard road. Maybe you're the first one in your family to eat well, and you actually have no idea if there's any healthy food that you like. And I guarantee you that there is, because God made you and God made the food, and he wouldn't make us. It might be a trial and error process, and you may have to try a couple different things that you don't like. But I guarantee you that you are going to find it. Aleigh: And really, a lot of times too, when we fill our bodies with things that we are not really made to eat, Our taste buds and our brains will start to trick us, and we will start to crave those things. And what's crazy is that's why eating healthy gets a lot easier as you go along the way, because your taste buds in your brain actually start adapting to liking the food that you were really made for. And before you know it, you can't even imagine eating the food that ate before. And honestly, the thought is just disgusting. I can think of so many things that I used to love that were kind of my Achilles, and really, now, the thought of them is just so disgusting to me. But it's been a process of years of doing this. And so, something that I would recommend is just be really patient with yourself, but really commit to the process of allowing your body to reset. And I know for a lot of people, that really takes anywhere between, like, 14 21 days when you're really on a clean eating plan. Aleigh: And trying new healthy foods and just committing to filling your body with that, cleaning all the junk out of your home, making sure to clear out the sugar, the food dyes, the preservatives, and all of that stuff, and just allow your body to reset. Something that has worked super well for our family is whenever we just fill our house with good foods, we are able to kind of serve meals in a way that is kind of like a grazing table, honestly. Because there's nothing that we really could eat too much of. And so, for example, whenever we're having dinner, maybe we'll have a couple different types of vegetables, maybe some grilled meat, and then maybe some legumes of some kind, beans or something. And really, we our kids are 42, and we let them fill their plate with whatever they want. And we're not pressuring them to eat more or less than what they want, but this is what is for dinner. There's lots of different options on the table. And, actually, in doing this, it allows them not only to have the freedom to make choices, which is so fun. Aleigh: It gives them independence. It makes them feel that really necessary feeling of being in control that we have as humans, but it's also a habit that decreases the likelihood of eating disorders and obesity later in life. And how many of us grew up being pressured to eat certain amounts of certain things. I've heard so many horror stories of hearing parents have their kids blend whatever they didn't eat for dinner the night before into a smoothie for breakfast and all that disgusting traumatizing stuff. And the point is to make healthy eating a pleasurable thing, so that it's something that we wanna do. We're eating, we're knowing our why. We wanna treat ourselves well. We wanna love ourselves. Aleigh: And so that's why we're gonna fill ourselves with good things. And we're not gonna overstuff ourselves either, because that's not being kind to ourselves. So meal times at our house kinda look grazing table style. There's no pressure. It's one of those things if the girls are gonna eat a bunch of legumes and none of the meat, which never happens, then they're fine, because they've eaten really great stuff throughout the day as well. And it's pretty amazing, because I wanna say for the first lunch or dinner, maybe, of doing this, they were pretty hungry. And then, you know, after a while, and this works on adults too, you just start to get hungry. And so, then, you start to eat what's there. Aleigh: And it's actually birthday parties, graduations, weddings. So, birthday parties, graduations, weddings. So how do we navigate this in real world circumstances? One thing that is important to understand is you don't have to do what everybody else does in order to enjoy your life. And I'm just gonna say that again, because I think some people need to hear it. You don't have to do what everybody else does in order to enjoy your life. And I've heard so many people say, oh, I've been eating this way, but I want to enjoy my son's birthday party, so I'm going to do this and this and that. Or I want to be able to experience this joy with everyone, and so I'm gonna do this and this and that. And, truthfully, if we look at that in another perspective, in another context, we could say, okay. Aleigh: Well, because they're doing drugs, I'm gonna do drugs. Or because they're all doing heroin, I'm gonna do heroin. And really, many of us would never say that. And so, when we put it in more extreme cases, then it becomes easier to see that our life experience is not dependent on us doing the same thing that everybody else does. Because what we should be doing is we should be making decisions based on our goals. But the truth is, not everybody has the same goals in life that you do. And so, the way that I like to process this is, I ask myself, does this align with my goals? And really, so many memories and so many life events are centered around food. And we do wanna be a part of the event. Aleigh: So how can we be fun and not offend people and not miss out, but also treat ourselves well and reach our goals. So the first thing I'm gonna say is don't let yourself get hungry. Whenever we have low blood sugars, we feel terrible, and we actually don't make great decisions. Our ability to make good decisions and avoid impulse goes down. And then, I don't know about you, but I can be doing really well, and the minute I get hungry, I am savage. And so, what I like to do is I like to eat good things often, and I try to be prepared as much as possible, and try this experiment. Something that I realized is once I do get hungry, I start to fantasize about all these random junk that I wanna eat. And I make myself wait, and the minute that I fill myself up with something better, I actually feel less of the craving. Aleigh: And I'm interested to see if anybody else has experienced that or not. But I know that that was a really life changing thing for me once I realized the connection of that, and how it was, like, level a100. Craving something, and then I eat something really basic and not, I mean, really healthy. And then, the craving goes down to, like, 20, And I can handle a 20. So I'm gonna say be prepared, make sure you start with a good breakfast, make sure you have access to healthy foods with you wherever you go because you are going to eat. And if you're not prepared, then you are gonna eat whatever the street corner has to offer you, and it will probably not align with your goals. Another thing that I'm gonna say is if you're gonna cheat, then let's not do a cheat day. A cheat day is how people ruin themselves. Aleigh: Our goal is not to feel terrible about ourselves or end up in the bathroom for 2 hours. Our goal is to eat good food, make good memories, but also feel great about our bodies and about ourselves. And so I would say, if you're going to splurge, then go ahead and make that decision intentionally. Something that I did recently is I really wanted to make turtle cheesecake for my wedding anniversary. And so, I planned it a week ahead. I said, okay. I'm going to make this turtle cheesecake for the anniversary, and if I end up with too much, I'm going to give it to this neighbor, and that's exactly what I did. And so, it was really great because we had a wonderful memory together, and it was awesome. Aleigh: But, truthfully, if you consume foods that are not actually good for you and not adding to your quality of life, then it will take away from it. If you are feeling impulsive and you feel that you're about to make a bad food choice, but you wanna do it anyway, go ahead and think about this. Do something good for your body before you're gonna make the choice. And so if you've already decided in your mind that you are gonna go through the drive through and get a cheeseburger, then go ahead and do something good for your body, whether that's go for a walk, drink some water, go eat a healthy snack, call your mom, do something good for your body and your mental health and your relationships, and then make the choice. And that way, we're offsetting the impulse control and allowing our prefrontal cortex, which deals with delaying gratification and avoiding impulse decisions that are negative and don't align with our goals. It allows that to kick into gear. So that we can make a more balanced decision, and in turn, feel better about the decision that we're making. Another thing that is just a very practical thing is that, you know, honestly, we're in situations a lot of times where really not eating something can be a very socially awkward thing, or it can be really offensive. Aleigh: Honestly, I know that it's like this in some places in the US, but many places around the world where you're not gonna go over to someone's house for dinner and then not eat their food or bring something. That can be a very awkward thing and very offensive to the host. And so something that we do, we do a lot of missions work, and it's very important to us to prioritize relationship over anything else. And so what we do sometimes is if we're not sure if there's gonna be good options for us, which some of our health choices are based on pretty severe intolerances of my girls. And so, it's not necessarily only a preference, but what we'll do is we will fill up with healthy food before we go and eat beforehand. And that way, whenever we get there, we can eat a little bit of whatever the host has because eating nothing whenever you go over to someone's house is really not acceptable socially in a lot of cultures. But eating a little bit is just fine. And, honestly, people will understand the more they get to know you, that there are certain foods that don't really agree with you well, and this does go across cultures. Aleigh: There are people in every part of the world that get stomachaches whenever they have dairy, or have negative skin reactions whenever they have gluten, or their stomach gets upset whenever they have a lot of fried food. And so this is a universally acceptable thing, but there is a way that can be offensive to express this, but there's also a way that can be kind. And so like I said before, I think relationship is the most important thing. So just being open and honest with the people that you love and that you're close to is super important. But for people that maybe you don't know that well when you're in a social situation, especially if you're getting hosted, it can be super helpful to just see beforehand so that you are not necessarily super hungry when you get there, but that you can cordially eat something and and enjoy that time with them. Another thing that can be super important is just avoiding places that you know you tend to slip up. It is very similar to if you struggle with drinking alcohol or even social drinking, and drinking alcohol is something that you're trying to avoid because it is not a health food, you might feel much better in the moment, but it does not have positive impacts on the brain or on mental health long term, then something you might wanna avoid is places where you can participate in social drinking. If it's something that you can't avoid, then this could be another opportunity where it would be extremely helpful for you to eat something beforehand. Aleigh: Make sure you're very hydrated, and then drink some kind of fun mocktail whenever you get there. You don't have to drink the alcohol to feel like you're participating because you can still eat and drink with everybody. It's just all about making decisions that are going to contribute to progressing towards your goals. And like I said before, not everybody has the same goals as you, and that's okay. And, of course, we can all respect each other's goals and respect what we're doing to get to those goals. But really keeping our why at the front of our mind and then also keeping those tools in the toolbox to help us get there. I think is really the best way that we can achieve what we're reaching for and make healthy eating fun. And that's all the time we have for today, guys. Aleigh: Thanks for joining us, and we'll see you next time.

Aleigh [00:00:00]: This is the Golden Nuggets podcast where we eat golden nuggets for lunch every day, talking life changing topics over lunch size portions. I'm your host, friend, and biggest fan, Ali Schenk. Join us for some good laughs, funny stories, and some life changing topics that will help us enjoy a better today and build a better tomorrow. Hello, everyone. And today, we are gonna be talking about 5 things that we can do to overcome anxiety that does not include medication. Welcome to the Golden Nuggets podcast. My name is Ali Schenk. And today, we're gonna be talking about this because I think it's extremely relevant. Aleigh [00:00:38]: The rates of anxiety have gone up significantly over the past 10 years. And then, of course, after 2020, there was a huge increase as well. So I think it's important that we not only educate ourselves about what the symptoms are of anxiety, but, also, what are some things that we can do that are practical that may improve the condition a lot, but may not necessarily involve serious medication, particularly habit forming medication. So I'm just gonna jump right into this because it's pretty straightforward. But, of course, as human beings, we all go through different situations that cause us a little bit of anxiety, whether that is taking a test or going to a job interview or trying something new. There's always gonna be situations where we feel a little bit anxious and a little nervous, maybe our palms get sweaty. But there is a difference between going through these things and being able to overcome them on a daily basis, and and being constantly bombarded with the sense of anxiety that's completely overwhelming and really gets in the way of living the type of life that we wanna live. And of course, there can be genetic factors to this, but there are also several things that have been proven through science that we can do that can help us just on a daily basis. Aleigh [00:02:07]: And the first thing that we're gonna talk about is eating better. This is something that is absolutely fundamental. I've personally gone through this myself. I've dealt with anxiety through a couple of my pregnancies. And the moment that I cleaned up my diet and started a bit of exercise, which is another thing that we're gonna be talking about, really, the anxiety went down 90%. And so, I was just amazed by how impactful this was. Sugar intake, specifically, can be completely ravenous when it comes to symptoms of anxiety. And so, the first thing that we can do is decrease or just completely eliminate added sugars. Aleigh [00:02:50]: And also, something that's really helpful is taking a look at our intake for simple carbs. Simple carbs, the way that they're processed actually turn into sugar in our body. So whether that's fruit juice or bread or pasta or potatoes or rice, these things, while they're very tasty and while they give us a very by feeling when it comes to alleviating our hunger. They can be absolutely detrimental when it comes to balancing our mood and decreasing those feelings of anxiousness. So that was something that personally was very life changing for me, but this is backed by science. And I don't know about you, but I know that I didn't realize that fruit juice was really not great for you. I always thought, oh, if it comes from a plant, then it must be great. So if there's a box and it has an apple on it, then it must be awesome and probably a good addition for my children's diets. Aleigh [00:03:53]: But, actually, because it's full of so much sugar, we may as well just be having soda with our breakfast. So that is a great thing to cut out or at least slower intake. Something that I tried as soon as my last daughter was born is, I tried a very clean diet. She got thrashed twice in 2 weeks, and I thought, oh, my goodness. I've got to figure something out. So I figured out what is the cleanest diet that I could possibly have that will just optimize my brain health and my gut health and just help me start this new chapter of parenthood out on the right foot. And I went to find a lot of information on brainmd.com. It is the website of doctor Amen. Aleigh [00:04:43]: He is a neurologist and just does a lot of amazing work, but, basically, I came to this eating plan where it's meats and vegetables and nuts and seeds and fruit and water. And that's pretty much it. I mean, obviously, you can do herbs and teas and things like that, but I've cut caffeine altogether, cut sugar, dairy, and gluten. I wanted to just see how it would work for our family if it would decrease inflammation. My daughters are having some issues as well. And what's crazy is within 5 or 6 days, all of the symptoms that we had been dealing with for so long were completely gone. And so what I plan to be a 1 month little eating plan cleanse has actually turned into the last almost 5 months of just our normal eating. And I'm just gonna encourage you. Aleigh [00:05:37]: For anyone who feels like that would be absolutely impossible and overwhelming and expensive and depressing. I just wanna say it gets a lot easier. And as far as the cost effectiveness goes, we actually found that when we go really all in with it, it ends up being way more reasonable than when we go halfway. Because, yes, good quality food is very expensive, but it's only expensive when you're also buying the junk. And so we found that whenever we are not getting the junk, but only getting the good stuff, then it goes kind of back down to a normal range. So let's move on to the next method of prevention, which is exercising regularly. I know this is a really big one, but exercise has been shown, in some cases, to be as effective as anti depressants, which I find to be wild. This is another thing that I have experienced the amazing success of firsthand when I went through some anxiety and cleaned up my diet and started exercising, and I felt like an entirely different human being. Aleigh [00:06:44]: So, just 30 minutes of regular vigorous exercise can be great. Whether that's a walk or a run or playing tennis or playing pickleball. I know that's a huge thing. I've never tried it. My husband did it once and he loved it. Zumba, there's so many different options and things that you can do. One thing that doctor Amen says that I love is walk for 45 minutes every day like you're late. And I just think that's awesome. Aleigh [00:07:09]: Process my thoughts. It gives me some time to be process my thoughts. It gives me some time to be alone. And I know if there's any parents out there that are listening or people with roommates, we all know this is central folks. So we've got eating better, exercising regularly, and then number 3 is sleeping better. Sleeping is absolutely fundamental to decreasing anxiety. And while we sleep, our brain is actually doing a clean up process. It's detoxing itself. Aleigh [00:07:43]: And whenever we deprive it of sleep, whether that is because we're nursing mother or we're playing video games, or whatever the reason is, it's actually not only increasing our likelihood of having things like anxiety and depression and things like that, but it is not setting us up for increased mood, increased satisfaction in relationship, or really mental clarity at all. And so, a couple things that we can do in order to sleep better. 1 is, let's be practical. So if video games is the reason that we're staying up super late or screens, which I know is a huge sleep robber, then having a boundary where all technology gets turned off at a certain time may be helpful. Another thing that some people do is they will set their WiFi router to turn off at a certain time or they'll just unplug it. And another option is having a no screen rule in the bedroom, and I know that that is a huge adjustment for a lot of people. But it's also often very helpful when trying to get more sleep or improving relationships and things like that. I know that whenever my husband and I set things like that up, then it's really great because we have that boundary that work or school or other things are gonna be completed outside of the bed. Aleigh [00:09:09]: And when those are compartmentalized, then I find that our rest and our relationships are prioritized properly. If you're breastfeeding mother, just know that you are not alone. There are a few things that may be helpful. It could be nice to have an in law or a babysitter come and watch the baby or your other kids for a few hours even during the day, so that you can do some catch up. Another option could be pumping, so that your partner could take one feeding shift. And know that if you are a nursing mother and you're not getting very much sleep, know that you're not doing anything wrong. There are literally millions of other women that are in your shoes. And, although, it can feel like you're the only one in the world, there are many other women standing with you or staying up with you, I should so a few other things we can do to enhance our sleeping zones are keeping the room cooler, making sure that all noisy distractions are eliminated, so that we have a quiet place to sleep. Aleigh [00:10:09]: Some people find white noise helpful. I find it very disturbing and I have a very difficult time sleeping with it. So just making that bedroom space peaceful as far as the noise goes. Having a wind down routine is also proven to help produce melatonin and help people fall asleep. And having a consistent sleep schedule is key, so saying, okay, dinner is at this time, we're gonna have wind down time at this time, and bed at this time every night, even on weekends, can be very helpful for people that are having difficulty getting enough sleep. One other thing that can be very helpful is eliminating caffeine altogether or at least limiting it beyond a certain time. I know when I was in college, I used to drink coffee literally before bed and then just go to bed, and I thought that I was totally fine and not affected by caffeine until I got off of it completely. I didn't have caffeine for a year. Aleigh [00:11:05]: And then, I just realized that I was tired all the time and completely dependent on caffeine, and didn't even realize it. So just because you can fall asleep after you have coffee, doesn't mean that it is supportive of your goals to improve your sleep or decrease anxiety. The 4th thing that we can do to overcome anxiety is we can limit or eliminate screen time in social media. I know this is a really big one and extremely controversial, but the studies will show it over and over. They're not only addictive qualities that social media has and that screens have, but the effect that these devices have on our brains is absolutely astounding. I know many people have seen the social dilemma, and if you haven't, then go watch it. You know that we are the product. If the profiles or apps or whatever they are are free to use, then that means that we're the product, which means that the more we're on these screens and devices, the more that these companies are getting paid. Aleigh [00:12:12]: And so not only does the light have an incredible effect on our brains and the quality of sleep that we have. Oh, there's the baby. Alrighty, folks. I am back. Baby's gotta eat when the baby's gotta eat. She just wanted to give her 2¢ about how important it is to limit or eliminate social media and screen. Oh, man. Anyway, I can go on about this, but basically, the effect that some technology and social media has on our brains is huge. Aleigh [00:12:43]: It's actually designed to give us continuous small amounts of feel good hormones, and this can actually wear out our pleasure sensors, which in turn can make it really difficult for us to feel deeply satisfied happy feelings. And so, that is really crazy to think about that. It not only changes our lives while we're using it, but it can also really decrease overall satisfaction with our life when we're not using it. So that's a huge factor and something very simple that we can do to put on the boxing gloves and get in the ring with anxiety, and give it a run for its own money. And the 5th and final thing that we're gonna talk about today is overcoming the negative thoughts that we have in our minds. Something that doctor Raymond says, which is the neurologist that I mentioned before. I'm gonna put a link to his website in the show notes, but he said something that was absolutely life changing for me when I was dealing with some postpartum symptoms with my oldest, and I heard him say, you don't have to believe every stupid thing that you think. And for whatever reason, that was so life changing, because I was finally able to separate my identity with my thoughts. Aleigh [00:14:15]: And I felt like for the first time, I learned what to do with thoughts that I have. And it's something that he talks about how we should learn these skills in 2nd grade, and I absolutely think that is true. And so, anyway, you can find more information on this in his book, and in many of his online resources as well. Oh, the girl wants dessert. And, that just about wraps up our time for today. So remember, number 1, eating better what goes up must go down, and so a lot of the times the foods that we go to for comfort to feel better in the short term will not necessarily make us feel better in the long run, and that includes caffeine. Exercising at least 30 minutes a day can really pump those endorphins. And remember that the most effective exercise is the exercise that you are actually going to do. Aleigh [00:15:09]: And so, start with something that you can stick with and move up from there. Number 3 is sleeping better. And so, we wanna make a really optimal sleep environment for ourselves by eliminating those sleep robbers that will do whatever they can to ensure that we do not get optimal and really be kind to ourselves. Give ourselves a good wind down routine, maybe a bath, a nice shower, a candle, a good book, whatever it is that can help our minds to start slowing down to prepare for that optimal sleep. Number 4 is going to be just limiting screen time in social media whenever possible. And number 5 is gonna be questioning our thoughts. Really thinking about, is what I'm thinking about true? Do I absolutely know it's true? Is this depriving me of valuable things in my life? And if it is, then what is actually true? A lot of the resources and guides for this are gonna be found in the show notes. But I think all of this really starts with taking just a single step. Aleigh [00:16:16]: I know that there are loads of things that we can do to decrease anxiety, but what is just 1 or 2 things that you can do today? I think sometimes we prevent ourselves from taking a single step just because we feel overwhelmed or, like, we can't correct everything all at once. But maybe we can make one healthier dietary choice today. Maybe, we can try wind down routine, or maybe there's a thought that you've been having that has been really cultivating a lot of anxiety in your life. And it's time to show that thing who's boss. And that's all the time we have for today. Thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you next time. 

Aleigh [00:00:00]: This is the Golden Nuggets podcast where we eat golden nuggets for lunch every day, talking life changing topics over lunch size portions. I'm your host, friend, and biggest fan, Ali Schenk. Join us for some good laughs, funny stories, and some life changing topics that will help us enjoy a better today and build a better tomorrow. Aleigh [00:00:21]: Hello, everyone. And today, we're gonna be talking about the fear of failure, a few costumes that the fear of failure likes to put on, and a few things that we can do to kick the fear of failure in the derriere. My name is Ally Schenk, and welcome to the Golden Nuggets podcast, where every day we have golden nuggets for lunch. Today, we're talking about the fear of failure because I think it is very important. I think it's something that can prevent people from really doing what they were made to do and from living really satisfied lives, so it's something I'm very passionate about. It's also something that I did not learn until I became an adult. When I think back, I really started learning to embrace failing through my husband. I was married to him for a year and a half, and he is from Switzerland. Aleigh [00:01:21]: He had been begging me to try to make European bread because, folks, the bread on the shelf just does not cut it. And, really, for a year and a half, I was like, nope. I'm not doing it because it is not going to be as good as what you had in your Swiss bakery, and I don't wanna be compared. And what I actually was saying is I don't wanna fail at anything. And so a year and a half later, my daughter started sleeping through the night. I'm like, what do I do with all this new time and energy I have? And I started to bake bread. So I baked my first loaf. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great, and I gave it to him and said, okay. Aleigh [00:02:15]: Here's my loaf. I probably won't do this again, because I was petrified of failing at anything and not being a total mister Miyagi on my first try. And he tries it and goes, actually, that's pretty great for your first try, and I'm excited for you to do it again. And, honestly, that was really freeing for me, because as I would use flour and yeast and all the things, and sometimes have to throw some batches out because of whatever the reason. It was completely inedible. When I cook, I always say that my first goal is to make it edible, and then my second goal is to make it good. Anyway, some of the batches were literally, like, you could not eat them. And he would say, well, I know you're getting better, and I'm excited to try the next one. Aleigh [00:03:06]: And I just thought that was always so great because I would just look at the situation and see all the ingredients and time that I labeled as wasted. And he looked at it as practice, and so that was a totally new concept for me. And fast forward a year, I opened up a bakery out of my house, and we ended up having a bread baking company, which was amazing. I learned so much through it, and which led me on another journey of really failing over and over and failing my way to success eventually. And so, anyway, I just think this is a really powerful thing to grab a hold of. And I know that in a lot of most cultures, really failing is very looked down upon. It's really looked at it's looked at as a weakness. And what if we reframe that, though, and say that failing is actually the journey to success? It's actually a margin for creating and learning and growing. Aleigh [00:04:14]: And, really, what are the limits to what we can do or the people that we can become if we just give ourselves the space to fail. Let's talk about a few things that the fear of failure likes to disguise itself with in order to prevent us from really living to our fullest potential. I think one one of the things that sticks out in my mind is perfectionism, And I think a lot of times we say, oh, I wanna do something with excellence, or I really want this to be perfect before I release this or before I try this. I wanna be really good at this, and we actually are really not wanting to fail. And I think that's something that can really put us into a paralysis where we're trying to make something so great before we've ever even launched. When, really, I mean, as you're flying an airplane, for example, as you're flying, you have to make adjustments for the wind. You can't make all the adjustments before you ever take off. And so I think it's important to also look at different things that we wanna try in that light that we're really never gonna solve all the problems that we're ever gonna face. Aleigh [00:05:26]: Before we start something, we really have to start it and take a step and be willing to learn and to adjust as we go and as we grow. And another thing that comes to mind, for me, especially, this has been something that I have recognized, the costume that the fear of failure can put on is procrastination. And something that I learned in a book by doctor Barbara Oakley, it's called Learn Like a Pro. I read it in one of those college classes that I didn't think I was gonna learn anything, and I actually learned a ton. But, basically, it talks about the pain sensations that our brain feels whenever we procrastinate, and what it actually is is whenever we know that we need to be doing something. Now that can be writing an essay for school. It can be starting a business that we know we need to start. It can be starting a podcast. Aleigh [00:06:24]: It can be loads of things. But whenever we know we're supposed to do something and we are not making any progress in it, we actually feel a sensation of pain in our brains. And once I knew that, it really blew my mind. And what's crazy is the minute that you take a step, and that's any step, small step into starting whatever it is that you know you need to be working on, the pain sensations actually dissipate, and the size of the project will become more realistic for you because it is not a giant in your mind any longer because there is no association with pain. So a really good example of this is I am in school to be a midwife, and I'm getting my bachelor of science degree. And there have been many projects where I will really be dreading them because I think they're gonna take forever or they're gonna be long. I actually really enjoy the topics that I learn, but what's wild is I realized once I started, it actually usually only takes me a few minutes, and there have been projects that I've dreaded for weeks. And by the time I start them and then finish them, it takes me, like, 12 minutes, and I could not believe that I spent all of that mental energy thinking about it. Aleigh [00:07:56]: And so procrastination is a huge, just, robber of time and energy and, honestly, self esteem. So that's a really big one. Another sign that maybe fear of failure is causing paralysis is maybe you're keeping a lot of dreams that you have to yourself. Maybe you're not willing to talk them out with other people that you trust, that really know you and know your potential, and maybe you just don't want the accountability there. That's a really big one. I think, bottom line, it's really important to understand that failure really is the path to success and that anybody that ever does anything worthwhile or successful has understood that they have to fail in order to create margin to learn and then succeed. And so I think there are several things that we can do in order to just kick this in the pants, but one thing that really comes to mind is that staying in a posture where we put ourselves in a position to fail often, I think is very important. And I don't just mean sticking your neck out for nothing, but I do mean doing things that will cause growth in your life purposefully that you know you're not good at can be very beneficial because it will give you the endurance and the stamina to be able to try new things and to grow in the areas where it will eventually yield satisfaction in your life in the long run. Aleigh [00:09:53]: And so this is something that I try to do a lot, especially in parenting. And a few weeks ago, I was at gymnastics with my 4 year old, and she was on the balance beam. And she told me, you know, mom, it's okay if I fall. Because if I fall, that just means that I'm practicing, and I'm gonna get better. And I just love that she said that because I was like, wow. If I could have really separated my identity from my learning margin or my failing, whatever you wanna call it, at that early of an age, wow. I would have not just done a lot more that's almost just the cherry on top, but I would have been a free human being. And so I think just allowing ourselves to do things that we don't know how to do, and learning new things, and being okay with the fact that we're not good at it at first is very important. Aleigh [00:10:45]: The good news is doing hard things gets easier, not because it's easy to be out of your comfort zone, but because when you create a habit of eating your humble pie and being okay with not being perfect at everything, it really helps you to separate your identity from your abilities. And I think that is absolutely fundamental. So a few things that we can do to really kick the fear of failure in the pants. One thing is get to the root, figure out what it is that you are afraid of. Are you afraid of this being detrimental to the way that other people see you? Are you afraid of losing lots of money? Are you afraid of what other people that you love might think? Are you afraid that maybe you'll invest a lot of time in something and then not get what you're wanting out of it? Are you afraid that maybe you won't reach your goal? There's so many things that we can be afraid of, but the important thing to understand is that fear is never gonna go away. It's actually something that we have to run towards whenever there's something worthwhile. And so that's another thing to realize. I think a lot of people just assume that very successful people are not as afraid as other people. Aleigh [00:12:07]: And the truth of the matter is they are just as afraid as everybody else, and they just do it anyway. And so that has been something that I kind of live by is when I know that I'm afraid of something, I assess whether or not it's worthwhile, and then if it is, I'm gonna run at it anyway. So another thing that we're gonna do in order to kick this in the pants is we are going to get acclimated with the margin of growth that failing is, and we're gonna learn from our mistakes. There's no point in making the same mistake over and over and over, because that's not so much growth that is maybe the absence of learning in those margins. So it is important to understand that that I'm not sitting here saying that you should go and just wreck your grocery budget month to month. Wow. Am I preaching to the choir? I can never stand my grocery budget. I don't know why food is so expensive. Aleigh [00:13:08]: Oh, man. But anyway, it's just important to take those margins of failing and falling and really assess what can we do better here, how can we move forward from here and grow from here, and really get comfortable in this space, separating our identity from our abilities. And then another thing that I think is absolutely fundamental to this is if you have a fear of failing, just start. And I don't know what that looks like for you, whether that is enrolling in school, whether it is taking an online class, starting a business, I don't know, but take the first step. And that may look like if you are dreaming of starting a restaurant or a catering company, maybe you should start to create a menu, start to cook some of the things, and see what you can do differently to make it better, start to invite some people over, and try your food. Ask for constructive criticism. Is constructive criticism something that you are comfortable taking? Now let's be clear, everybody's opinion is not important for your success, and I know that that may sting for some people to hear. And this is coming from a place of humility, but in some of the businesses that I've done, I'm always asking for constructive criticism. Aleigh [00:14:40]: And what I have realized is that it is very important to have vision in where you're wanting to go and that everybody's opinion is not a determining factor in, 1, where you need to go or 2, corrections that you need to make to whatever you're doing. And so it's important to just surround yourself with a few trusted people and have a very clear vision for what you're wanting to do. And it's okay if along the line, when you're producing something or you are in route to a dream, if that vision changes, that's okay. But it's important, especially in the beginning, to really outline what it is you're wanting to do, whether that's getting a degree, whether it's starting a business, maybe you're wanting to start a ministry vlog or whatever. What is your message? What is the impact that you're wanting to make in the world? And then get a few trusted friends that really know you and believe in you and believe in what you're doing, and ask them for advice, and ask them for pointers or or areas of growth in what you're wanting to do, how you can make it successful, and then just go for it. Don't be afraid to fall flat on your face. I know that when, we started our I mean, all the businesses we've started, we have just failed and failed and failed and grown and grown some more before we have reached any point of success. And so through that process, I think that's why I've become so passionate about this topic, because I realize how much it can really change the course of your life when you start to get comfortable with that growing margin that we call failure. Aleigh [00:16:31]: And so my last well wish to you is bon voyage in your pursuit of your endeavors, of your dreams, of being the person that you wanna be, and let's reframe failure a little bit, and let's call it a margin for growth. And I think that changing the name tag on failure is going to help us to overcome this. Kids [00:17:01]: Thanks for having lunch today with us. We'll see you next time on the Golden Nugget Podcast. Bye!