5 Ways High Risk Days Feel Different for Parents and Adult Children

Do they think about us? Do they miss us? What are they doing on this particular day or during this time of year? So often, we imagine that they've forgotten us, put our family in a box on a shelf. We worry that they've moved on without us, never to wonder about us again.In this episode, I offer insight into how emotionally charged, high-risk days —such as holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries, differ for estranged parents and adult children. Together, we explore how this understanding can foster empathy, reduce blame, and support us as we find ways to strengthen or reopen communication.We look at five key differences in our experiences as estranged parents and their experiences as the adult child who walked away.Anticipation vs AvoidanceIdentity and Role ConfusionPublic Pressure vs Private PainLonging vs ReliefRituals of GriefAnd in the end, why does it even matter if we consider what it may be like to be in their shoes? Empathy isn’t about agreeing or changing how we feel about our experiences; it’s about recognizing that our experience is not the only one that needs understanding.When we soften judgment, open our hearts and set aside our grief, even for just a little while, we create space for new understanding and new perspective.We begin to prepare for future dialogues and reduce the potential for increased distance.Acknowledging emotional differences is a step toward relational safety and potential healing.Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.DISCLAIMERThe content of this podcast is based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. PROFESSIONAL STANDARDS: Dr. Janet SteinkampWhen Our Adult Children Walk Away with Dr. Janet Steinkamp explores healthy communication, ethical interaction, safe family relationships, and reciprocal (appropriate) boundaries. The podcast provides education and support for parents navigating family estrangement, communication breakdowns, grief, reconciliation efforts, healthy boundary development and adult family relationship dynamics.Dr. Janet Steinkamp's work emphasizes emotionally healthy communication, adult accountability, ethical and safe relationship practices, mutual respect and appropriate boundaries, voluntary communication and reconnection and safe and appropriate family systems. Listeners gain practical tools to improve communication, understand the dynamics of estrangement, and pursue emotional responsibility, compassion, and integrity.