50: Shifting From Caring Touch To Sexually Arousing Touch

Welcome to episode, "50: Shifting From Caring Touch To Sexually Arousing Touch." Katie Ziskind, your host, relationship coach, certified sex therapy informed professional, and Gottman level two marriage specialist, talks about challenges when it comes to sexual touch vs. caring touch in regards to emotional and sexual connection. In this milestone 50th episode, we embark on a transformative journey as we explore the common challenges and art of shifting from caring touch in your marriage to sexually arousing touch, which builds sexual desire. Touch is a powerful form of communication that transcends words and fosters intimacy between partners. From gentle caresses to passionate embraces, the way we touch and are touched by our partners can profoundly impact our sexual experiences and emotional connection. In this episode, we delve into the nuances of transitioning from nurturing touch, which is often non-sexual touch to sensual, sexually arousing touch. There can be major blockages and limitations couples experience. Katie Ziskind talks about how couples can enhance their sexual intimacy through understanding these blockages and limitations to sexual arousal. Katie Ziskind talks about how being raised in a strict, conservative, religious upbringing and culture can lead to self-disgust, shame, guilt, fear, and hesitation around sexual expression, even in a safe, trusted marriage. Sexual trauma, physical abuse, emotional trauma, and psychological trauma can contribute to fear-based and anxiety-based reactions around touch. Trauma can make certain types of touch feel safe when they are caring, but having experienced trauma, self-protection mechanisms can make receiving and giving touch scary and induce anxiety. When wanting to withdraw, avoid touch, or pull away from a partner initiating, talking can build emotional safety. In order to shift into sexual desire, pleasure and enjoyment need to be prioritized. Many times, it can be hard to shift from caring touch to sexual arousal because of performance anxiety rooted in unrealistic expectations from pornography. Pornography videos don't show an adequate length of foreplay, which is necessary for female sexual desire to increase. Pornography doesn't provide sex positive education on the biological needs of 45 to 90 minutes of foreplay women, or vulva owners require in order for sexual desire to actually have time to increase. There are cultural expectations around sex from pornography that lead to limitations and mental blockages around building sexual arousal and desire. So often, men or penis owners receive messages from pornography that a hard, erect penis is required to be a good lover and sexually satisfy a female partner, or vulva owner. In reality, many women or vulva owners do not orgasm from penis in vagina penetrative sex, but instead of clitoral stimulation from hands, a sex toy, mouth, or fingers. Katie Ziskind also discusses: The importance of establishing trust, safety, and consent as foundations for intimate touch. Prioritizing enjoyment and pleasure during intimate moments. Increasing communication when initiating sexual touch with your partner. The role of mindfulness, presence, and vulnerability in deepening your connection through touch. Ways to incorporate eroticism and playfulness into your intimate interactions while maintaining emotional connection. Whether you're seeking to reignite the spark in a long-term relationship or exploring new avenues of intimacy with a partner, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable advice to guide you on your journey towards greater physical and emotional fulfillment. Tune in to Episode 50 of "All Things Love and Intimacy" and discover the art of shifting from caring touch to sexually arousing touch as we celebrate love, connection, and the transformative power of intimate touch in relationships. Work with Katie Ziskind at WisdomWithinCt.com This episode is no replacement for seeking professional help.