509: Befriending Mistrust

So you've de-escalated your negative cycle and are taking risks to take new moves and bam you get hit with this response: "it's nice to hear you say that, but where has that been for the last 20 years?" Defeat sets in and your protective move is at the ready to defend or withdraw. Why does this happen so often when couples are working together to make healthy changes? Join George and Laurie in today's episode as we discuss how mistrust in healthier relationship patterns is expected and what to do about it. When the brain is so used to something happening one way for an amount of time, it expects and anticipates it. It's all a way to create patterns and predictability which the brain loves. What the brain loves is not always healthy for a relationship. In this episode, we learn how to identify and work with mistrust, create safety around new moves and embrace when we are getting exactly what we've longed for for years. This requires us to tolerate the new move without solely relying on the old pattern, embracing the mistrust and getting success with the new. Has this ever happened in your relationship? Make sure to leave us some feedback on our website, foreplayrst.com or on Instagram (@foreplay_sextherapypodcast). Be brave and keep it hot y'all! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices