51: Emotional Healing Skills

Join for episode, "51: Emotional Healing Skills" of the "All Things Love and Intimacy," podcast with Katie Ziskind, certified sex therapy informed professional, couples relationship coach, level 2 Gottman marriage specialist. Katie Ziskind shares how co-creating emotional connection and emotional vulnerability are key elements for building sexual passion and erotic desire. Your cycles of sexual avoidance, sexual withdrawl, and sexual disconnection may be stemming from a lack of emotional intimacy and lack of emotional healing as a couple. From a holistic relationship perspective, emotional connection and emotional intimacy support security and safety to open up sexually. Start by knowing the you and your partner probably grew up being told to stuff your emotions away and not express yourselves. If you cried, you were told you were weak. You were told to work hard, and not be vulnerable from a young age. These messages from childhood stay engrained, negatively impacting your marital bond and connection. One of the first steps in gaining emotional healing skills is recognizing and gaining awareness for generational patterns and how you may not have had a voice emotionally growing up. Be sure to have self-compassion and be gentle with yourself as you develop emotional healing skills and start talking to your spouse about your emotions. Another piece of emotional vulnerability, to create a foundation for a healthy sex life, is to verbalize how important your spouse is to you openly and clearly. Your spouse may feel taken for granted and unappreciated. Verbally and frequently let your spouse know how important they are to you, "I am so happy to be with you. You are special to me. I value our marriage. You matter to me. I am grateful for you being my spouse." As you develop more emotional vulnerability and emotional bonding skills, take it in bite sized pieces. It is essential to set realistic expectations and be patient with yourself and your spouse the process of overcoming emotional distance and breaking the cycle of sexual avoidance. Emotional connection skills may be new, especially if you couldn't express yourself in your childhood, so progress may be gradual, and setbacks are normal. There may be small conflicts or points of emotional disconnection along the way, as you build emotional intimacy. Make a point to celebrate your small victories and focus on continuous improvement rather than expecting immediate results. Katie Ziskind specializes with long term committed, couples who are stuck in a cycle of sexual avoidance and emotional disconnection, learn skills to co-create emotional healing as a foundation for rebuilding low desire and improving sexual intimacy. To work with Katie Ziskind, sex and intimacy coach, couples relationship specialist, and Gottman level 2 trained marriage coach, goto www.WisdomWithinCt.com. This podcast is no replacement for seeking professional help.