51. Equanimity: Emotional Reactivity and Damage Control (part 4)

In this episode, we're in the fourth part of our five-part series on equanimity. This episode is quite a bit different than the last two where we worked with the internal dynamics of an emotional storm and how equanimity can come in to tame the winds. Now, we'll look at how this process can expand outside ourselves. We're probably all familiar with this phase as well: we say or do things out of surges of emotions that took us by surprise, negative thoughts that hung on, and story lines we told ourselves. These kind of outbursts are inevitable given all the energy we've brewed up in the early phases of the storm and, well, it just kind of needs to go somewhere. Often, we lash out. Other times, we replay the scenario again [and again] in our heads, winning an imaginary battle that keeps us reactivating our stress response. Whatever the case, we'll talk about strategies to bring back equanimity to not only dissipate the storm, but make situations like this far less common.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab App. Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible). Listen & follow the Joy Lab Podcast on your favorite listening app: Spotify | Apple | YouTube Key Takeaways: If we haven't prevented or buffered an emotional storm by this point, then we are likely *full* with energy. When that occurs, it's hard to hold back from lashing out. If we don't lash out and don't work to dissipate the storm, we may find that we continue to replay the event over and over again in our minds. This replaying continues to re-activate our stress and keeps us stuck in the event.  Anger is not a bad emotion; it may be just the emotion for the situation. However, we have to create a bit of space between the activation and sensations and our response so we can tune into our wisdom and choose our response in a way that is most healthy and effective. Grounding practices are super effective at helping us create space between activation and response. Equanimity amidst a storm takes a lot of skill because an emotional storm happens so fast. We need to practice! Next episode we'll look at how to learn from these storms, even if we got totally swept away, so that we can maintain more equanimity when the next one hits.    Links and Sources Mentioned: Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PDF, we'll link a video soon) Natural outdoor environment, neighbourhood social cohesion and mental health: Using multilevel structural equation modelling, streetscape and remote-sensing metrics (2020; green/blue spaces and mental health analyses) Understanding Emotions: Origins and Roles of the Amygdala (2021) Part 1—You can run but you can't hide: Intrusive thoughts on six continents (2014) Part 2. They scare because we care: The relationship between obsessive intrusive thoughts and appraisals and control strategies across 15 cities (2014) How changing your story can change your life (Lori Gottlieb Ted Talk) On knowing what you are not supposed to know and feeling what you are not supposed to feel. (1979; classic article) Anger in psychological disorders: Prevalence, presentation, etiology and prognostic implications (2016) Warm Lines Directory James Baldwin (quote was from Notes of a Native Son- check out this biography page from PBS) Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. - 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at [email protected]. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org