#51: Leaving Care In Germany And Why Support Drops Away, with Tanja Abou

Send us Fan MailTurning 16 should not feel like a countdown to being on your own. Turning 18 should not require a letter proving you deserve a roof over your head. I sit down with German social worker, researcher, and care leaver Tanja Abu to unpack how leaving care really works in Germany and why the systems designed to build “independence” can end up creating pressure, instability, and loneliness instead.We talk about what makes Germany distinct, including the fact that residential care and group homes are the most common placements, and how that shapes public perceptions compared with foster-care-heavy systems. Tanja walks us through recent legislative changes, including extended aftercare and the long fight to stop forcing young people in care to hand over most of their income to the state. We also name what too often sits behind the data: classism, structural inequality, and how poverty can drive families into welfare involvement while wealth buys privacy and options.From there we get practical about transition points. Tanja describes Germany’s “two cliff edges”, the push to semi-independent living at 16 and the high-stakes jump at 18, and why checklist-based assessments of readiness miss the real determinants of long-term stability: trusted relationships, belonging, and mental health support that does not punish you for needing it. We also dig into care leaver self-organisation, global community building, and the difference between genuine participation and tokenism, including why lived experience expertise must be paid and respected rather than mined for emotional impact.If you care about leaving care policy, residential care practice, trauma-informed support, or care leaver advocacy, this conversation offers both challenge and clarity. Subscribe to Secure Start, share this episode with someone in child and youth welfare, and leave us a review with your biggest takeaway or question.Tanja's Bio:Tanja Abou is a German social worker, researcher, author, and social justice educator whose work focuses on classism, intersectionality, and structural inequality. She identifies as a queer “poverty-class academic” and brings together academic research, lived experience, and political education.Tanja works at the University of Hildesheim on the CLS – Care Leaver Statistics project, the first longitudinal study on young people transitioning out of residential and foster care. Alongside her research, she teaches and facilitates workshops on anti-classism, and is a founding member of the Institute for Classism Research.Tanja’s background includes years of practice in Berlin’s youth welfare system and training as a systemic therapist. She is the author of Classism in the Education System, a critique of structural barriers and the stigmatization of poverty in education.Beyond academia and activism, Tanja also works creatively as a children’s book author (including Starship Cosinus), comics artist, and occasionally as a DJ.Links:Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcastPodcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/Disclaimer: Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce. Finally, all references to case examples are anonymised to the extent that the actual case could not be identified, or are fictional but based on real-life examples for illustrative purposes.Support the show