#529 | The Truth About Wanting Them to Apologize

Send us Fan MailWaiting for an apology is its own kind of prison, and they hold the key on purpose.In this episode, we unpack what is actually happening inside you when you cling to an apology that may never come. Bianca opens with a client who cannot let himself heal because getting better feels like letting the people who harmed him off the hook. We get into the bulldozer and the house, why an apology can never rebuild what was demolished, and the difference between reconciliation and repair. Emilia breaks down the unconscious expectations we carry into rupture, why naming the impact feels like admitting the harm was okay, and how the nervous system is really reaching for safety, not words. We land on the hard truth: an apology is a nice to have, not a need to have, and your pain was already real without their acknowledgment.The how to apologize guide mentioned in this episode, from Emilia and Alan on The Conscious Couples podcast:https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KVsyimNpa2-XBOlWBY52mzp3VsD0ZQLP/view?usp=sharingHere's a related episode that builds on today's conversation:#521 | How to Trust Yourself and Eliminate Self-Doubt - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/evolve-ventures/id1511831621?i=1000776557116Learn more about:🤝 Out of the Mud (OOTM) - "The Difference Between Avoidance and Self-Protection" - https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/IykObX8eR7ixJaQ-qqZogw#/registration📆 Evolve Group Coaching - https://evolveventurestech.com/evolve-group-coaching/📽️ Insightful films. Meaningful growth. Join our Evolve Movie Club - https://forms.gle/bBZUbFEeD2ijypCT7🌱 The #YouDoYou Therapy Program gives you support when and how you need it. No pressure. Just real help. Start your free 7-day trial today - https://buy.stripe.com/fZe8Avdfx8bW9gcfZcConnect with Emilia, Bianca & the EVOLVE VENTURES Community:Website: http://www.evolveventurestech.comInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/evolveventures/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/EvolveVenturesTech (Public Page)Evolve Ventures Society (Private Facebook Group) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/457130589193794Emilia's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithemilia/Emilia's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithemiliaBianca's IG - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithbianca/Bianca's TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithbianca?_t=8gq3wqu4fAx&_r=1Connect with Emilia from Evolve Ventures for FREE:https://calendly.com/emiliasmith/free-evp-communityconnectShow notes:(0:00) Intro (1:29) The truth about wanting them to apologize (2:29) What is happening inside you while you wait (2:46) A client who cannot let himself heal (4:24) The fear that getting better lets them off the hook (5:44) The limiting belief underneath the waiting (6:18) Unconscious expectations we bring into rupture (7:22) Reconciliation versus repair (8:45) Overestimating what other people are capable of (9:27) Emilia invites you to Out of the Mud, our free live virtual event hosted the last Wednesday of every month. (10:25) An apology does not undo the damage (10:48) The bulldozer and the house (11:29) Nice to have, not a need to have (12:17) Why some people cannot apologize (13:04) Why naming the impact is so hard (14:15) Rebuilding is not accepting the harm (16:21) Their apology does not make your pain real (17:05) Bringing the locus of control back inward (18:47) Outro***Leave them a 5-star review if you felt their energy, became inspired, or felt the value was added to your life in your EVOLUTION.(Stay tuned for this coming Thursday's episode!)