#54 - When a Child is Taking Advantage of Your Kind Nature

In today's episode, we're talking about when a child, and by that, I mean an older child - a young adult - is taking advantage of your kind nature. If you have young children, this will still be relevant to you, because I love to think about parenting with the end in mind - which is to raise happy, resilient kids who thrive out in the world and who we have a fulfilling, balanced relationship of give and take together as they get older and as we get older.   This topic is something that I've experienced as a sibling, as a sister, but not as a parent, and I want to be upfront about that because I'm speaking as a sister who's seen this happen in the family, and I'm speaking as a coach who coaches parents on this dynamic, when a child is taking advantage of your good heart, your big loving heart, your kind nature.      I will always mourn the version of my brother I thought he'd be when we grew up. He never became that person. And so it's sad to me. But it's also okay, because I believe that this life isn't the end and that broken things find healing even on the other side of heaven.      What I've decided is that I will always be kind to my brother. Sometimes, kindness looks different than being "nice." In other words, I will always tell him the truth. I don't pretend anymore that his choices don't hurt me and that I'm not sad.      I used to pretend. He has a difficult time with regulating his emotions, so often what he'll do if you even hint that you don't like something he's doing, like continuing to drink even though it's ruining his health, he'll yell and fly off the handle and swear and just have a big man tantrum. It's not fun.    But I want to offer you a promise here. I feel that strongly about this, that as you learn to tolerate your child's anger, it's one of the kindest things you can do for yourself and for your child, and it is THE MOST powerful parenting skill you can build.     WHAT YOU'LL LEARN ON THIS EPISODE: How to set better boundaries to help your child think through consequences, build emotion regulation eventually, and build self-trust. The difference between being 'nice' and being 'kind' in your parenting. How to identify and be honest with your emotions in order to take care of your heart. Why it's not personal when children choose unwisely. My favorite truth to anchor your parenting in: (hint - two things can be equally true at the same time.) MENTIONED ON THE SHOW: When you're ready to turn these insights from the podcast into action in your own life, come check out Dare Greatly Coaching with Danielle.  If you're a musician, an artist, an entrepreneur, a coach who is ready to create that thing you are wanting to create, I want to help you get your work out into the world. Interested? Join the Dare Greatly Creator 10 week coaching program here. Join the Dare Greatly Newsletter here. Download 'Old Man Moses' song by clicking here.  I'm running a 10 week coaching program this fall! This is for anyone who wants to create that thing that is calling to them to create, but they want some support, guidance, and coaching to help them get it done. It's affordably priced, click here to join me. We start September 12th, 2023. Space is limited.