It's like if the shining were a heist movie and then there was no heist this week on King me some houses are born bad This is rose red King me King me everybody. Um, are you doing top? Very I'm just this is just how I go. Oh, yeah for the listener Rob's 5 to now.
He got much smaller He's very gaunt very gaunt now. He's different. We still like him. I'm a change me Yeah, for now Rob's gonna keep co-hosting the show and see if you know We have him on protein powder see if we can't beef him back up a little bit Gonna put him through a taffy polar just like in the Billy Wonka movie Billy Wonka Welcome to King me the official podcast of King me baby King me.
Oh, oh wow He stuck his thumb in a glass of water and the water seemed to travel up through his thumb and fill him back out Into a full-size Rob welcome to the show Rob. I thought you're gonna say I stuck my thumb in my mouth. Oh, I wish I had that's better Welcome to King me the official Stephen King movie podcast. That's right as sanctioned by Stephen King in the comments section of our iTunes page Hey, if you want to leave a review just like Stephen King did you can go to iTunes and do so And if you give us five stars that's well all those reviews what they do is they help new listeners find the show Mm-hmm.
That's really cool. I'm Dan Gaglery. I'm Rob Avon and and and this is King me. It's the it's also the official podcast of King me It's also the official podcast of getting scared of your own intro.
It's the podcast. It's the King me program Hey, hang on one second. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's the official podcast of audio magic That's it's the official podcast of look Roy look Roy racist Stelter water with a hint of flavor there their their celtier waters will agree with your taste buds as much as you won't agree with their Politics god willing and the correct don't rise this week.
We're talking about it. No, you know what? I want to get into it. Yep me either cool because it wasn't good.
It wasn't good. No, no, I guess we could stuff We mentioned patreon. Yeah, we talk about that patron cuz I think as of I think as of this episode I think so too. I think whether we're ready or not.
We should be there. Yeah, so yeah, let's talk about patreon. Yeah folks I Was Rob barfed you can we have a patreon page the link to that'll be in the show notes where you can go and become a monthly donor to the King me program Why do we need your money? Well one I?
Live in an iron lung and it's very expensive. It's very expensive to drive around. Yeah. Yeah, no I mean it was on diesel the expenses of the lung itself are covered by my smoke stack I have I have like a lazy um health insurance So the cost of that are covered but it is it does have tank treads and it goes very slow and it's very heavy It puts potholes in the asphalt and I don't care.
I love it So yeah, you can if you go to our patreon you can become a monthly donor that helps us cover the cost of hosting the show Which I mean not like us be doing the show like hosting the episodes online cost us money all this fancy fucking equipment We got cost us money and you know once we get money ever heard of it. It's a little thing called clams Clams bucks redeemable at any clams resort any Jimmy clam house. I hate that guy Saw dust on the floor his floor The slimiest handshake. I hate his I hate his pseudo foot Just pisses me right off now there it is what that voice that voice I've never done before There it is classic voice you've been waiting for that without knowing any great product fills a desire You didn't know you had right if you go to the page round page you can become a monthly donor and Yeah, if we and as of right now, yes, if you guys well Let's just say if you give us a dollar.
Oh sure to four dollars. We'll say thank you We'll thank you on the show. That's right I will give you a little shout out and if you like you know email us you want to send us a little note We're more than happy to read that yeah in general we love hearing from you guys, but especially if you throw us some clams bones Clam bones clam bones Oh, it was clams bucks. Yeah, my bad clamb bones is a different thing.
Yeah. Yeah from our past Yeah, so but if you donate five or more dollars a month you will be given access to the holy grail Yeah, Christ's chalice from which upon he did done did drank a bonus podcast before he was sentenced to death by his best friend Judith From HR She's a real rat she's just doing her job. She's just trying to climb that corporate ladder Judith is a real working for the weekend type. She's very stodgy at work, but on the weekend she sentences her friends to be crucified Apparently, you know when they crucified people like for real crucified them They would feed them vinegar from a sponge They like put it they'd soak a sponge and vinegar and tie it to its stick and then they'd feed you that as you died slowly on the cross For what purpose I guess I guess cuz you got hungry let just an extra little gross out.
Yeah, no to cross But yucky's hungry you want to eat a vinegar sponge? Yes, you do you love it. Don't you turn into like six-grade bullies. Yeah, they mix together everything on their lunch tray into a Gracie oh Catch up mash potato chocolate milk.
No, no way. No way. No way. Am I ice cream melted?
So that was in there too. Oh, oh, corn. Oh those beans Chicken okay. Well, you know guys are actually doing three stuff up five or more dollars a month.
Oh, yeah door more door more door more more door more door more door more door No, it's only Gimme baby. Oh, that's a good spin-off show. Yeah, if we do anything with Ray Ray Davies is that his name? I think wait right from the kinks.
No, is that Dave Davies? Oh, is it? Am I getting my Davies mix up? Yeah Yeah, well while we sort this out hold on Ray Davies.
No, Ray Davies is from the kinks Who's a guy who plays gambling? Ah not fucking Ray Davies. I mean maybe I don't know no no no It's this fucking I would explain the part where he goes father Christmas give us a money Father Christmas give me your axe Fun it is so while you do that I'll explain that yeah If you donate five or more dollars a month to the show, let's not say donate Let's say if you fund your favorite boys John Reese Davies. Yeah, of course.
It was John Reese Davies I was pretty close everyone knew that the whole time, but especially me that guy from he plays a Salila in all the Salina Latina pop singer is she she makes again? I almost said Mexican, but then I wasn't sure but I think she is my okay So is that who he plays much like fucking Ralph Fiennes plays Michael Jackson or Ray Fiennes? I get the mix up I don't know now whoever played Voldemort. No.
Yeah. No, no, no, is that in that weird movie? Yeah, is that no, no, no, no Another yeah, no, no welcome to Google me if you give us five dollars more you'll get access We know of a perfect search engine and they're always working to improve their service real quick while you do that Let me just get this out of my mouth guy the guy who's in a what's the last known brothers movie? Hell's Caesar not the guy who's like what did it was so I haven't seen it, but it's a baldy morte plays Michael Jackson Look it up while I say that if you give us five dollars or more a month You'll get a shout out on the show and access to our weekly bonus episode The theme of which will change every so often currently we are doing a series called wall-to-wall carpenter where sort of like this show goes through every Stephen King movie we're going through every John Carpenter movie and it's more fun because we like them, okay?
Are you ready to eat crow you were talking about Joseph Fiennes, okay same thing effectively? Are they all related he did not play Voldemort? I know that was Ray or Ralph it was it was Ralph Fiennes who was also in Hell Caesar, okay guys We're all are they brothers. No, they all look alike to me.
Yeah British friends. Yeah, I mean yeah I don't believe that they're not brothers His brother Ralph Fiennes. Yeah, they are brothers fuck you Cockshore goddamn goddamn cock shore cock shore Yeah, so suffice it to say that Voldemort is Michael Jackson and also our president is Voldemort He's orange Voldemort. He's like a cheeto.
I don't have to go to a rally for I know that he is like a cheeto So call your congressman So all right, so if you pledge $5 or more you'll have access to our bonus show which you said is wall to wall carpenter right now There's only 23 John Carpenter movies. Mm-hmm. So if you're not super hot on John Carpenter, it'll be changing up pretty soon It's changing up, but you're not super hot on John Carpenter. I got I got nothing for you.
Well, here's the other thing too is I think we can sway ya. Oh, that's right. I think if you listen to these episodes of wall to wall carpenter. Yeah, we dig deep I think yeah I think so too we go but I've got a little bit deeper than we do on the show what I found with that show is because there are substances Subsent there is substance to those movies right we are able to have like a more film discussion right which sounds Unbearable.
I realize that but it's very silly as well Yeah, it's all the fun of this show with all the film criticism of someone who went to film school and someone who knows that guy so Yeah, again the link to the patreon is in your show notes. You just have on it takes you straight there Yeah, you about that credit card you give us your money Yes, and then again the money is going to It's going to cover costs of hosting and equipment and it's pretty much a hell yeah Yeah, I am committed to also getting shirts at some point. Yeah, we should be like a little seed money We should get some shirts going and maybe a mug. I would love to have a mug with our mugs on the month That's right.
We should do Well Hey, sorry about that. I just needed to talk to Rob So this is Rose red, okay, so let's talk about the thousand twos Rose red the first movie released after 9-11 again Ooh starring Nancy Travis who for me is best known as Harriet from the Mike Myers Harriet Tubman The spy Harriet Tubman the spy that's actually true. Harry Tubman was a spy Well, so they you've fallen into my trap. Yeah.
Oh No, oh no So was her was Nickelodeon's Harry at the spy a whitewashing of the story of each Tubman. Yes, that's too bad Nancy Travis who you may know is Harriet's from the Mike Myers rom-com, so I married one X-murder Definitely in the top three Mike Myers movies, right? I think it's the top. It's like the best one It's like that in Wayne's world.
That's right like nothing else aged well at all Yeah, and even Wayne's world. I think like I would have to go back. I think the last time I watched Wayne's world I still enjoyed it. There's a lot of good to say about it.
Thank you. Spirit is I think it goes I think it's tough so I married an X-murder Wayne's world the first and then probably the love guru you're being facetious. I am just I'm just oh, I'm so mad when you're not honest with me. You might also know her from it playing Vanessa Baxter in Last Man Standing not to be confused with the sequel to Home Improvement.
It's Tim Allen show. Oh That's right. I okay, so I was deeply confused because I was thinking of last man on earth Yeah, wait a second a different program. So you know of the Tim Allen show letter.
Yeah. Yes How many seasons do you think there are about six I want to say six how many episodes does that consist though? That would be probably about 120 episodes just one thirty. She's really crazy and you were right in six seasons So how many seasons of friends are there like ten?
Yeah, I want to say ten. Okay, okay. That's too close got a nip It in the bud Tim Allen does not deserve money. He's just gonna spend it on cocaine Trapping in cocaine.
Is that what he does? That's what got busted for in the 80s. I love that Yeah, there's a great mug shot of him looking like the thickest monster. Yeah.
Yeah. He looks good No, it looks great. He's just he happened to have been traveling in cocaine No, when they say it was trafficking cocaine does that just mean he was like touring in a car and drove with a lot of cocaine across They lined he was transporting a lot of cocaine in his nose He's like he is a mule. He's a drug mule.
Yeah, sorta It was in this movie. No a guy named David dukes. Oh, that threw me for a loop in the credits Not that David yeah, and it's not even the plural of David Duke because we all know that's David's Duke Shout to I got a shout out. I just realized why I thought of that very similar to something That was said on the podcast angry little goats.
Okay, so I want to be I'm no joke. He's I know mind of Minsia Melanie Linsky's in it too. Um real quick David dukes. Uh-huh actually passed away during the production of this movie really Yeah, he was only 55 years old and he died playing tennis.
He had a heart attack Oh geez and he died the night before he was supposed to return back to film his scenes So in this movie there's a certain point where you like see him up to like maybe like two-thirds into the movie Yeah, and then like nothing after that. Yeah, that's true. Did they kill his character? That would have been important They did kill the character that was it seemed like yeah Anyway, but he was not a ghost.
He did not see a ghost of him He for like a split second in the trivia thing It says that like a stuntman or something put on like oh a mass that's horrendous a masky. That's so scary Have you seen have you seen that? Photo from the set of a Harry Styles music video of a stuntman wearing a like a featureless Harry Styles man dangling from a crane It is nightmarish. It is so hard.
I Would we know David dukes from anything it says we know no not really he looks super familiar He looks like a hunk in his IMDb picture. Yeah, he was in like he's been in movies He just seemed like a I was an actor. I will say I who made a living acting he was well cast I think he has a great look to play like the head of starchy dead. Yeah, yeah This guy met Kessler.
Mm-hmm. He was in he was in this movie last days of disco, which it's like it's a 90s movie I think Parker Posey is in it and Chloe's so many a It was also in mr. Magoo. Yeah, he was in quid show quiche with Ralph fines boom from Voldemort yeah from plain magazine Melanie Lindsay Melanie Lindsay former WTF guest Melanie Lindsay.
I don't know why I remember that so it was a great Her episode of WTF if you haven't listened to go listen to it's fantastic listen to this full episode and then go listen to that Yeah, hey people Hey people Stamps calm. How where we just crapped myself. We would you would know Melanie Lindsay from two and a half men Right. I don't know if she and that yeah, she plays like the neighbor who's obsessed with Charlie Sheen what she's in that HBO show togetherness the Fucking the bro do plus brothers.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's in up in the air George Clooney so she specializes in Like bougie people with romance problems. Yeah, but I don't know she is she's been in like some good movies like Rose red like Rose red I really whenever she's in a movie. I'm always kind of like on board I'm kind of like I trust her I think she's very good and I'm and she doesn't like I think she even said it in that WTF interview where she's like I'm not gonna be like a movie star or anything like that But I'm always just kind of rooting for her.
No, I believe he said are you gonna be a movie star and she said Nari? Nah, she is she's a Kiwi She was in this movie that came out recently called I don't feel at home in this world anymore Yeah, I've been meaning to watch that's on Netflix. It's pretty good. Yeah.
Is it like kind of a comedy or is it not a comedy? It's kind of comedy there. It's it's a mix. I would say it's so a little bit of comedy and a little bit of drama common Comadama Yeah, dude Come on to my It's you know the guy who did blue roan and green room do it blue roan is the shit It's the fucking it's one of my favorites.
It's really good and every time someone's like have you seen blue as the warmest color I'm like yeah, no, I think it's that's I think it's probably not the same in a lot of ways one is like a Realistic revenge film and the other one is a French T-boy love story between two girls. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I will I've seen blue ruin All right, well in in blue ruin the main character in blue ruin the mr. Blue Yeah, I don't tip.
Yeah, that's all the only tip he actually he wrote and directed that I don't feel at home in this world Okay, very cool, then it's it's I would say they're very close to in tone to those movies very good So linsky's in it so wait blue ruin green room. Yeah, it's next for this guy that he's been asked like purple rain rain It's happening and all white remake of purple rain. Yeah, you know what we had the Wizard of Oz and then they made the whiz Man, yeah, nope god willing. It's not a one-to-one.
I don't rise. Oh boy. What is that phrase? What does that mean and the correct on rise god willing and the correct?
Well, that's a that's a Ray Lamontain album. Oh, welcome to coffee corner where we just talk about Lamontaining it or The holy Lamontain And we're our house podcast about Ray Lamontain. That's a joke for no one That's a joke for anyone who wouldn't listen to the show Whoever that joke is for will never hear it dead for 20 years. No, it might be I don't know It's probably for someone who's seen Yodaro's he's doing yeah, okay?
They talk about that movie and right yeah, all right, so it's a good joke then and we like it. Yeah, it's good Google it. I don't know what to tell you and again if you donate $5 store page This is how we insist That is proving shake it head no Emily Deschanel also in this film. Oh wait Emily Deschanel.
Yeah She played so he's more Dational no, I mean Zoe from Sesame Street, but I mean Emily Deschanel Emily Deschanel from fucking bones Yes, not to be confused with the the professional chef Emily Beshamel cut that out of the show as soon as it left my mouth. I was like that's somehow even beneath me How many seasons of bones Either a fifth new 12 seasons of bones. It's exactly 12. Is it really a huge bones guy bones dozen Are you a bone daddy one dozen I?
Bonesman twice I slept with someone who liked bones and twice I pretended that it wasn't an issue Yeah, it's the worst show I've ever watched there is nothing and twice I had to pretend their favorite show something else So I could continue fucking Yeah, it's not a good show. It's bones It's not even like it's like okay, so like monk is not a good show But you can watch it for nine hours. How many people do you think turn off the podcast when I said monk is not a good show It's certainly Tony Shaloop not a fan anymore. No We should do a Tony Shaloop podcast.
Yeah for the bonus bonus. Yeah natural Shaloop. Oh, yeah How's that yeah? Shaloop where Shaloop me up daddy.
Oh, I don't like that. Yes or no Any of her will yes before we go for a tip. Yeah Julian Sands yes, WikiLeaks founder Julian Sands Julian Sands was he was in all those warlock movies you ever see those no Voldemort yeah, kind it's like There are a series of horror movies where he was the warlock. Oh god.
I can't just start talking about a horror movie like that No scared me. He was the warlock. Yeah, wait. Have you ever seen or heard of boxing Helena Helena?
No, I've heard of boxing day and the song Helena by my chemical romance. Okay, these are different well. Yes, but together but together It's basically okay. What is boxing Helena?
He plays a man who's obsessed with a woman It's same who plays that doesn't matter. It's the the Laura Palmer from Twin Peaks. Okay. I also don't know who she is Yeah, so but he sure Cheryl Finn he kidnapped her oh that's a bit of rotten luck and And he cuts off her arms and legs whoa and keeps her in like a box Oh man, that is far more literal than I ever could have imagined.
I know I know and she eventually falls in love back. Oh, no Yeah, I haven't seen the movie in the I don't know about a day or two that seems is it as torture porny as it sounds? No, no none of none of that stuff is there and it's not played as like a horror movie at all that's so much worse Yeah, like I mean like really effective worse I really I don't think I've seen the movie in like 15 20 years But the way that I remember it it was not played as a horror and it was it was more like a Psychological romance Wow well not combat certainly yeah, not like it wasn't there was no comedy to it But it was definitely not as horrifying as it should have been. Yeah, it's like a and I cannot find it on DVD Yeah, it's a lot of romance and no comedy much like most Woody Allen movies So I put her in a box Yeah, I don't have one.
I'm gonna leak it all I'm being extradited neither do I I also don't have a Woody Allen. Julian Assange Allen. Yeah, uh, Julie Allen Assange Oh Welcome to King me. Can we save it?
I think people probably listen to this show to see if we'll ever dig ourselves out of the hole Yeah, uh so far no good. No, um who else is Matt Ross? Um, oh, yes plays like a pretty big part in this. No if you know that name you don't but you'll know his face from the program Silicon Valley He's in a lot.
He's been in a lot of movies actually. I feel like I've never seen him before Silicon Valley He so he plays the CEO of hooley in Silicon Valley He was also in a movie pcu with Jeremy Piven and john febrough and the pcu of course stands for uh Piven uh copy written Oh, yeah, oh baby. Oh with a you Um, he's also in uh american psycho Is he like just a yuppy? He's one of the yuppies, but I don't know if you remember the movie too.
Well, he's the one who turns out to be gay Who like yes, he starts like sort of kissing um christian bale in I think they may be on your mensory. Yeah. Yeah. No kidding Wow, um and he's in a bunch of other stuff face off.
That's great. Um the ap Is that the one with flio? Yeah I haven't seen i've only seen the scene where he's uh being he's all Howard. He used about it He's got like houses all covered up and stuff, you know also starring jimmy simpson fan favorite jimmy simpson jimmy simpson of west world never seen him of uh, he's one of the mik poyl brothers Oh, uh and yeah always sunny and filling he's he's just great and ah Jimmy simpson and melonie linsky met on the side of this movie and they fell in love and they got married come on It's true.
I'll be freaking kidding me, but now they're divorced come on. Yeah is nothing sacred Not even my favorite institution the institution of marriage Also starring kevin tie how many people can this movie be starring kevin tie Is in the movie roadhouse? He's one who hires patrick swaysy to come clean up his bar. That's right I thought he looked familiar and that's it and I was right he looked familiar from roadhouse Let's talk about this movie cool quickly Um, it's basically just a haunted house movie.
Yeah, it's like it is like it's Six flag fight fest. Yeah, it's I don't know in in looking into you know some of the backstory with this It wasn't an adaptation so this isn't based on any books so we don't have to talk about thank god The temptation is removed. Yeah, we are we are effectively Unix the temptations have been removed. We are the temptations.
Well, no the temptations have been removed So we're like the ever like popular music. We're like the everly brothers There you go. It is. It's like a big old haunted house.
Uh, somehow simultaneously so much exposition and no Reservations. Yeah, um, okay. Here's the interesting thing about the like after watching this four-hour movie I found the most interesting thing to be the story behind it. Yeah about the house.
No the well There is oh the exposition scene. No, no, no. I'm talking about the sort of the making of this movie Originally this movie was supposed to be a theatrical film and it was supposed to be directed by Steven Spielberg Um, the Steven King of directing. That's right.
Yes. Um, and Steven King and Spielberg could not agree on the tone of the movie. Yeah, I could imagine I fucking I Can you imagine what an odd couple? Yeah, like Steve has like Together Steven King's like what if it were a scary cartoon?
Yeah, and Steven Spielberg's like what if it were one of the greatest movies of all time Steven King said I can't have that it needs to be very specific right so what ended up happening is they couldn't come to an agreement And they ended up parting ways over the project right then about a month later. Steven King was hit by a car This is that time. Oh, wow. That's where we are in history.
So this is also not only our first Go on not only our first post 9-9-11 film also our first post Steven King's near death experience. That's right Wow, so he got hit by a car and Um after I guess during the recovery of it he worked on this script So what was a feature like the movie became a tv movie a much longer thing over for a guy who had nothing but free time exactly Exactly and he talks about how um, you know, it was the only way to sort of get back into writing was just to like write this thing Yeah, um So, I mean that was like truly one of my favorite things about him is just like his his workman his pro-shit His craftsman. Yeah. Yeah, he's not I mean he's an artist right just by virtue of the fact that he does it but he doesn't take like the sort of mystical like art approach to it.
It's very It's very he's very the craft. Yeah, he's it's the movie the craft Yeah, he's a writer and he's like it's he's like a journeyman writer. He's just like he's doing his own big jeans. Yeah plaid shirt Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm grease on his hands. Yeah, he's greasy fingers from his typewriter chicken Um, yeah, so and then the house Um, it's loosely based the story is loosely based on the Winchester house. Yes. Um, if you don't know the story of the Winchester house Give us five dollars and you google it Um right now you probably got use a proxy server to get australian google which no matter what you search whatever you search it says Oh, did you mean kangaroo?
Did you mean ou marang did you mean a third thing? Uh, the cine opera house? Yes, paul hogan Crocodile Oil did you mean all president yahoo serious what yahoo serious? What's that he was a man?
Um, nope Yeah, and well actually if you google it it's it comes up as google series Yeah, he is me raising a glass to the audience. I heard this on a podcast. I can't take credit for it But I forget which one it was but they were talking about yahoo series who you can't even give credit for it Yeah, it's just not mine. It's just out there.
Yeah. Yeah, pick it out of the sky But uh they were talking about yahoo series who was in a movie I think he wrote directed and starred in a movie called young einstein back in the 80s are you thinking of a baby einstein? I'm not Thinking of young einstein starring yahoo serious who later went on to sue the company yahoo For stealing his name and he did not win that's psychotic it is well Is he like indigenous? Is that why his name is so unfamiliar to my white white ears?
I think so huh? I think it's just a weirdo. No kidding. It might be like a uh, I think that might be a big name.
No, he's just a weirdo Um, wow. Yeah, that's uh, that's that boggles the mind. No. Wow.
So rose red. Oh, you sure it Yeah, it's loosely based on the Winchester house, which is uh a mansion in I think california Owned by the winchester's of gun fame. Yeah, um and mr. Winchester's wife Uh became just obsessed with continuing to build this mansion and like it has a lot of eccentricities There are staircases that go nowhere.
There are doors that uh lead nowhere Uh, there are secret doors. I don't remember if the upside-down room is like a real thing as well I'm not sure um, but like I mean I believed it without knowing for sure It's a giant mansion with like oh, there's one One door you open and it's just a two-story drop. Yeah, so scary I know And so rose red is the name of the mansion in the movie rose red that is loosely big. I got zoning permits for all that so I don't think there is any permits.
Um, I mean, where are you gonna tell a gun person what to do if they're a gun? They are a gun. Yeah, um, he probably has probably just keeps bullets in his pocket So this movie um, it's about a group of people led by uh, Nancy Travis who plays professor joisa reardon um She leads a group of uh, specially abled people Differently abled is the term they prefer they are all sort of psychic. They all have they all have a different psychic Uh power.
It's like they're all kind of x-men. Yeah, I was gonna say it's like an x-men, but a narrower band Yeah, they're basically like I could only I never think of south park anymore But I could only think of that episode of south park where I either stan or kyle is like cold reading people to prove that john edwards Is a phony but then he there are like other psychics who get mad at him I'm some mashing two episodes up. Oh, it sounds familiar But there are other psychics who get mad at him and they do like psychic battles where it's just them in a living room going Uh, yeah, but yeah, so it's like a group of weirdos Um one of them. Yeah, it can read minds.
Um, and melon linsky. She doesn't have any powers, but her younger sister Uh has the power of telekinesis, right? Yeah, and we also make rocks Well, yeah, the oh fuck was that the first scene in this movie and we're not gonna go scene by scene because it's funny four hours Yeah, um, but the first scene in this movie it takes place. I guess like a few years prior to this and You're you're we're introducing this older couple who's talking about the little girl across the street And how they had to put their dog down because the dog bit this little girl And that's not right and pop up and all this stuff And the little girl is in her room drawing the house and then all of a sudden she starts like drawing crayon All over the house will angry and then giant rocks start falling out of the sky and destroying this house with these two old people in it Right before rock falls on the old man.
He looks to the camera and holds up a small wooden sign that says yikes. That's right Um This uh falling rocks thing is actually in the and we're not gonna talk about it Okay, but it's in the book kerry really kerry can do that. I guess why did he insist? Oh because it got left out of the movie and he's probably been bitter about it since the 70s But it's gonna be two we're gonna we've already watched two kerry movies.
There's two more coming up So maybe it's in one of those is it two remakes of kerry? Yeah, is that what they know that that is such a short fucking span of time to make two reboots I mean spiderman two hulks. Yeah, I was gonna say like two hulks in a year or whatever competing hulks Speaking of competing hulks out of the whole whole stuff about that Thor Ragnarok. Oh my goodness.
It looks so good I know dig low everything big old dig low go boom. Yeah dig low Never mind I was like crunching numbers in my head trying to figure out if I could uh fit dig glow gold bloom somehow into The the banana boat song by harry dulphont. Oh, it did not go dig old dig old dig old dig old dig old A's a baby old neighborhood Oh life finds a way The fuck out of here. Yeah, fucking dinosaur You're fucking wrapped up with the toes.
Get the fuck off Get the fuck off the counter in the kitchen. Why does he build burf for a second? Anywho Yeah, no, I really like that trailer and I laughed out loud when he says he knows the hulk from work Such a funny joke. Yeah, like not not even like marvel movie funny like actually funny Uh very excited about that movie Yeah, that yeah, I mean the whole trailer that Great side bar.
It's got like it's got a real like heavy metal vibe to it like animated Yeah, it's not like 80s sort of fucking not even day glow like neon. I don't know. It's right. No, you're right though It's like very colorful.
It's almost like guardians of the galaxy color. Yeah. Yeah, and uh the whole like immigrant song playing over Dude, like I don't know yeah, bro It looks like uh it looks like a scene painted on the side of a guy's van which i'm totally into that Yeah, that's a great way to describe it And then yeah, and then that last bit where he fucking you know, he sees hulk and you know, it's my my least favorite thing about that Movie is going to be how it ties into like the infinity war storyline. I don't even want that Okay, I just want not I mean, I don't want to I'm not gonna spoil anything for guardians too Okay, but it does it guardians to doesn't really yeah, well don't they show up in ragnarok?
Isn't that like I don't know maybe like I've heard that I know they're talking about ragnarok being like a space road movie between hell Thor in the hulk which that's awesome. I'm in um, it's so good Yeah, but yeah, I mean I guess wait, but I wish there were no villain in Thor Ragnarok Uh, yeah, but you know what though kplanche that looks fucking awesome. She does she does Did not realize it was her until I think you told me actually just now no no like it there too ago Okay, uh, yeah, I hate to spoil like the reality we've built within the show, but we know each other outside the room Um rose red Yeah, so the little girl she's autistic in quotes. Yeah, it's not handled well No, because nobody I don't know have you ever seen a movie where like somebody's autistic and it's handled properly?
No, I feel like I haven't seen a lot of movies where there's an autistic character though. Like well It's like this and the social network. Yeah, I guess um right he's he has Asperger something. I don't know I mean kind it would seem so in the movie, but I don't know that's just as Jesse Eisenberg's acting so I know that movie the accountant with Ben Affleck Oh god.
Yeah, I heard that was very bad. Yeah. Yeah, um people I without having seen the accountant I think people in this case for sure in case of rose red Having autism just means you're a little shy. Yeah, you're not a people person a bit of an introvert, right?
Yeah Which that's not the case. No, she's yeah, she is autism. I'm afraid your daughter will never be the life of the party She will never have a lampshade on her We the parents are crying That has a lampshade on his head Both have led to the crime. No, he has a lampshade.
I said mom is dabbing her eyes with a tie that's tight around Yeah, that's perfect. Uh, that's my style of improv is to go no, but no, but not no, but it's like no instead No instead. How about yeah? Um So so uh professor Joyce Riordan she works at this college and she's leading a this team of yes Okay, so it opens and it's ghostbusters.
Yeah, right. She's like she's sort of a crackpot of this college the dean wants her out Yeah, um the guy right the the department chair the department chair. It isn't Um, isn't going along with any of this like super natural bullshit and he plants one of the like a senior in there who played by jimmy simpson Um, yes as like a trying to outer basically. Yeah, it's like she's like giving a lecture and at the end of the lecture She's like does anybody have any questions?
He's like yeah, I got a question right how come you think ghost is real? All right. No, basically is it true that you're leading a research group at the rose red mansion over the over the break And is it true that you're using department funds to do it? And she's basically like this is rude son.
Yeah, um, so that that is by way of a question We find out what her whole steeze is right which is that she's trying she's basically searching for proof of like paranormal shit Right ghosties ghoulies goblins and the goblins and warlords right under the arc of a weather stain board. Yep Is that what we decided it is? Is it awful? Yeah, I don't know like more than anything I've heard that song the first 55 times more than any other that's how many times I've only heard I've I've listened to those 17 seconds.
Yeah, it's scorched into my brain Um, but so and then the department like I said the department head is not going along with us He doesn't want her to do this. He doesn't want her using the part school funds all the shit Right and he's like very openly like I'm gonna take you down. You're gonna lose your job because you don't deserve one right? Um, so she contacts all these people who we talked about the cast before it's basically all of them Matt Ross, Julian Sands, Kevin Ty Who else?
Judith Ivy that older woman the Christian yep Emily D'Shanel So there so she gathers them all together to spend a night two nights or something for their own Breakfast club. Yeah, and they're she's gonna pay them all like five grand. The most of these people are like kind of hard up for money Especially that is uh matt Ross's character That's his character's deal even like there's a whole there's a little scene where she's on the phone with him and he's like playing hardball Yeah, and when he hangs up you like his mom comes in his mom the worst character in any movie Yeah, ever seen but and like basically they establish that they don't have money and every time he sees a ghost Uh like leading up to going to rose red like the rose red keeps sending him like warnings Right and he keeps yelling save the warnings for someone who's not broke right? Yeah, um, and so his His power say is sending ghosts away.
Yeah, that's that's all he does. Yeah, um Oh my god the like the head-on shot at the end where he sends a ghost away with a little hand gesture. Yeah, that was bad. He lives bad uh so um So This professor gathers this group together and a lot of the first hour or so of his movie is exposition Where she's just going into the history of his house and how it's built around the turn of the century and You know, it's Ellen Rimbauer Ellen Rimbauer, yeah, and her family and the whole family history and one of the people going on this expedition is a descendant of the Rimbauer Steve Rimbauer who's also doinking Nancy Travis, right who right so This and he's like a younger guy.
He seems like he's in his like mid 20s. I'd say yeah, he's a real pool boy Yeah, and she's she's like she's a real pool girl. Yeah, she's well She's just like a an older woman not old, but she's probably in her like early 40s. I said yeah, um and I mean, I think it becomes clearer I didn't get it at first with them like you know, like taking advantage of him.
Yeah, she's just fucking him too You're just using me to meet my ghosts. Sorry. Yeah, you just want to meet my ghosts It's just like all the others. You just want to get killed by my great great grandma Oh, oh something just ask.
I'll just meet her for you to you stupid just shit So while she's gathering the group together this other professor carl miller He's he gets like I kid Jimmy Simpson and Basically, he's like all right. I want you to take pictures of them while they're in the house doing like stupid spooky bullshit Yeah, and it basically showed that it's a complete waste of time So he drops him off before the whole the rest of the group gets there and he goes walking through the house And he's immediately greeted by the ghost of the caretaker. Yeah, what's her name? Succina she uh, I mean the actress that played her had the craziest eyes Yeah, like she was scarier when she wasn't like a ghoul and not even scary, but her eyes were so intense She had very intense eyes like a very narrow face One of the things about this like it's like a few people saw this woman Succina, right and She's dressed like it's 1900 and nobody says a word never like she's like we're expecting you come on This way and everybody's like thank you I will come with you like what yeah, this spooky house on your dress like a spooky ghost.
What's the deal? Um, so so this kid what's his name? Bollinger Kim and Bollinger he goes into the house and he's walking around and he's maybe there for 10 minutes before he takes Have ourself so he goes into a solarium and there are bees and they kind of attack him For what felt like 15 minutes? They like kind of come at him and he goes, uh, uh, and then he runs away But they're still active by the hive But he's fine from a distance and then a few of them come over and then he runs to a different spot and nothing continues to happen But then he dies.
Yes, he is snatched up by vines. Yeah, he loses his phone right his cell phone His cellular telephone is uh, wireless His mobile his his Um, and so Very shortly after that happens the rest of the group. Yeah like a half hour. Yeah same day for sure.
Um, wasn't it also weird though? The geography like geographically where that house was. Yeah, it's like right in the middle of a city like yeah It's like this enormous it's supposed to be like a sprawling sort of should be on like acres of land sort of thing But they've like built around it right like the house itself is like the size of what you would think the overlook hotel really? Yes, it's like a complex.
Yeah, it's like a castle in the traditional sense where it's actually a collection of buildings right? Yeah, and it is in the middle of the city. It's like a red fair friend out there It's at the top of this like hill and it's funny because it's clearly not there so bad Yeah They like the way that they keep cutting back and forth is like You know somebody will be standing looking at the house from the street and you get that shot And then they walk into what would be the gates of the the grounds and then cut to the reverse shot of their back in front of the house And you're like we're in a different location all together. Yeah, yeah um So the group gets there and They find the phone they find this they're like, uh This kids here somewhere and What do the smoothies this movie stuff started happening right away or is it that night might be that night?
Yeah, like everybody right they do like a little quick exploring of the house to get you familiarized with some of the settings That will be revisiting right that hallway that like trick hallway the trick all right the perspective hallway Which it's another one of those willy walker things we were talking about work like that hallway that like shrinks down as you walk down Pretty sure it's Philly, but that's fine. Um, and then the upside down room. Yeah, um where all those furniture is glued to the ceiling Uh, yeah her parents for sure had lampshades on their head. Yeah Um, and then I don't remember any of the others they go to the kitchen because that's where the girl Yeah, well little girl died.
Yes, it's just a fucking haunted house. No, it like okay This movie's four hours long and the at the two hour Um, nobody there's we've seen some ghosty stuff, but nothing really nothing to our group of people here Well, by the end of the first part Emily Dational dies. She's the first one dead. That's a that's not at the end of the She's dead by that point.
That's two and a half hours in. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I gotta hit myself by one half hour.
Um So and we and we have to talk about Kevin Well, so they're walking around and then again a lot of exposition from Nancy Travis Just like the whole every time I walk into a room It's like and then this room has a whole back story Yeah And like I like that they mixed it up by having Steven Rimbauer also tell the story of his relatives thing And so this kid Steven Rimbauer has also been there a couple times. He's seen some shit Um, the whole deal also is that they um are they're gonna tear it down in a couple months. That doesn't really come up. Yeah too much Um So so that night before everybody goes to bed they're um You know telling she's telling the story some more stories and shit and um, what's her name a little girl Uh, hold on.
I want to get this Annie Um Annie finds the glint Miller album that she's real big into That song what's that song called in the mood in the mood is like the jazz song Anytime there's a like a swing or a dance or a jazz kind of yeah, it's song needed It's famous and also a like not a great song. Yeah, it's just like fine, but everybody knows it It's like, I don't know. It's seeped into everybody's Go ahead So she gets the record player down and they're playing the song and then the girl's dancing shows up Wait, who is it? Should that be our cue for uh, king cameo?
No, just a king cameo King cameo, Steven King's in this movie. Yeah, so Steven King plays the pizza delivery guy You know I made you hit that button. It was all part of my little game because now you can't hit it for any other reason. Oh Well, I'm very smart Unfortunately though, this is the last king cameo that we're going to see.
Oh, that's too bad I guess we'll have to retire the button. I'm never tired. I know you love that button. I like that button too I think it doesn't get used a lot which is its own problem because there's just not a lot of black people Yeah, yeah, this one's about the past.
So the only black person is a servant Was were they in love where they love I think they were right they seemed a little in love Yeah, they seem crazy in love their loves got me looking so crazy, right? Mm-hmm. They did yeah, they seem to be in crazy stupid love with each other, right? So yeah, Sakeena and Ellen Rimbauer seemed like they didn't go into it too deeply but Ellen about one was married to a man And yeah, they who they kill together they kill together and they're holding hands as he's falling There's no scenes of them like kissing or anything.
No, but like Sakeena does like nurse her back to health from the brink of death There's a real tenderness and a confidant sort of relationship. So I don't know if it's you know, maybe there's an earlier draft Although it's hard to imagine anything being cut from this movie. I know but yeah No, there's a definite like intimacy to their relationship if not a romantic one. Yeah, they fingered each other so let's face the facts, bro Yeah, welcome to finger me this and that'll do it When they were doing that dance sequence right Steve Rimbauer is dancing with a little girl and and they're floating Yeah, they're not touching the ground like she's doing her telekinesis thing as they're dancing That was weird because like obviously there was a thing where like she had a big crush on him that was clear a little Annie Yeah, little Annie had a big old crush on hot Steven but so did Emily Dichinael yes because in early on when I guess someone reads his mind Reads her mind the automatic writer.
Yeah. Yeah, she reads her mind and Something like they find out that she has like a little little thing for Stevie I Thought that something was gonna happen between Emily Dichinael and Nancy Travis like a confrontation. Yeah something Like honestly what I thought was gonna happen with this movie which the movie did I don't know I had certain expectations for all of these characters and I'll think any of them came through Hey, that's just good writing I guess but I thought she was gonna go into more of a jack-tourance madness So did I yeah, especially like because it becomes clear pretty early on that that is her arc When she's in her she's outside her office and the Dean's giving her shit And she somehow like pricks her finger when she reaches her pocketbook and her hand is bleeding and like in she just like snaps And starts rubbing blood all over his face. Yeah, and you're like oh, she's been infected by this house Yeah, she's going to slip into madness right like she doesn't really it's it somebody says it at one point that like you You brought us here to sacrifice us to this house.
Mm-hmm, but I don't think that's really explored enough No, and I like if there was more behind that statement if if that was her intention I think it should have she should have done more with that Yeah, I think it's too much like backstory for the house and not enough yeah character stuff. Yeah, there's no you're right because I'm like most of these characters. You don't know exactly you don't need to know much about the house first of all You need to basically need to know everyone's like relation to each other and who killed who yeah And like it's so funny because they spent all that time explaining everything But moments like the two of them holding hands communicate so much more than that entire scene does right so like yeah Yeah, what I thought was gonna happen is Nancy Travis was going to I Guess start working for the house like a better All object horns. Yeah, and start like feeding these people to the house essentially and that would have been like I don't know some sort of like thing where she picked up on Emily Dijanel being into Steve and then she gets rid of Emily Dijanel somehow With the house Yeah, just slowly picky like it would have made more sense to me if she was the one so like facilitating everybody being picked off Otherwise it seems totally random It seems like someone's it just seems like an empty accusation because even as the house is collapsing She's like check in her equipment to see speaking of which my favorite thing about this entire movie.
No was the The one reading that they were getting that was called the it was called the people proximity counter Yeah, which just told you how many people were in the room and it would go up when it goes showed up. Yeah, that was so bad They're right early before before the first night's sleep. They're all sitting in the living room It's like eight. Yeah, and then it pumps up to nine and everybody's like and then goes up like over a hundred Yeah, yeah, which like that's a crowded room full of ghosties truly it is it's like I don't know you don't it's a very show Don't tell kind of thing where it's like just heighten.
Yeah, you don't have to having like a metric. We don't need a heart number Ghostometer It might as well be called a ghost you know what I thought was really weird and we'll get into this actually I should I say Well now I'm gonna throw a king trope out right now. Okay Only being able to see ghosts in the the video monitor screen of a camcorder. What is that?
What that was like core kids. Yeah, well, it wasn't a camera was the infrared. No, yeah, but still you're the night vision goggles Yeah, same thing. That's weird right.
Yeah weird and specific So they they see a ghost like early on and They're just like well off to bed with us and isn't there some bullshit where someone's like yeah They can get you out here, but you're safe in the bedrooms But okay, why it didn't make any sense to me why everybody had their own separate room wouldn't like If this house is so incredibly haunted and they've seen they've already seen like Some like really weird shit happening wouldn't it be wouldn't make the most sense for them everybody to like sort of bunk up There is a lot of fuss made about the buddy system. Yeah for exploring the house Yeah, right there's a heavy emphasis on the buddy system and nobody pays attention to it Yeah, not to go Betty by when you're at your most vulnerable Yeah, also like what a good opportunity that would have been to have like people be ghosts in the bed Well, you know, we did get one go we did get one ghost in the bed, right? I didn't appreciate them white washing the ghost in the bed Yeah, it was called that new Scarlett Johansson movie with the ghost in the bed called Ghost in the bed. I was gonna say lost in translation.
Yeah So right off the bat One of the ghosts yeah a ghost like comes in like lures Emily Deschanel out to the like the yard and Like just like everybody she sort of like dies disappeared What was up with her death cuz like I was in and out on the first half of this movie very unclear Yeah, so she like I know she dies and there's a moment where like the the statue takes its face off Okay, I'll other movie face off right a nice nod to face off right yeah, I don't know But so it's but that's a thing is like it's unclear like even the characters in this movie are like you know The cat whatever is named Kevin tie is dead and I think we have to assume that Emily Deschanel is dead also We see her floating in the film right, but nobody else does oh they just see her I think they see her ghost but like he sees her ghost and it leads her leads him to her body doesn't it Someone see there's a shot of just her body floating in the right yeah, so like Yeah, it was there's a big issue. I have with this movie is like It starts off very sort of like gothic and Victorian and that seems like what they're going for like I haven't seen Crimson Peaks But I imagine it's a lot like that I was thinking the same thing yeah, and you think I also have nothing I thought it was honestly gonna be like a fucking Jane Austen like ghost story sure Like two women secretly love signing up. That's like very of that time very other time very hot. I mean yes I want I want to see those fingers prune right gross.
Let's go see fingers go on anyway. Yeah. No, and it just seems Jesus Christ I hate myself. Yeah, yeah, you know girl with like a little with like a crippled arm That's also very like industrial revolution Yeah It just it sort of like is oozing that time period because that's where all the ghosts are from that's when the house was built and They really or he really went like half in on it I felt yes because by the time shit's going down none of that is really there and it's not You don't get that vibe from like what's playing out between the characters who are alive.
Yeah, and yeah I just think I think I think I would have done a better job than Stephen King Well, I think I know he's gone on he's saying he said before that this the miniseries format is his favorite because he could take his time telling the story And whatnot yes, I think honestly if this was a tighter script it could go longer Mm-hmm. You know if it went eight to ten episodes of like a what your fargoes or something like that Then you could you could take your time and flesh out the characters that were actually with here exactly Because not only that's the biggest problem with this movie is like we we get very like when Emily Deschanel dies It's unclear at first that she did die and also what impact that has on anybody because nobody's care exactly and like He takes the trouble of assigning everyone in the group their own distinctive power. Yeah, and none of them really come up that much It's the automatic writer. It's fucking What's his name from hooley right and the little girl Annie yes They're really the only ones who like do much of anything right the other characters who have Powers they're not right the Christian ladies power.
Oh, she's the automatic writer She's right. Okay, never mind. But they're they're not explored like the extent of the powers and explored They also the loss of their power like this group is made up of people who everybody has a different thing So when Emily Deschanel dies, what does that mean for the rest of the group? We've lost that that power now?
What does it mean? I don't know it doesn't it doesn't it's okay? Their their powers don't really factor into the plot. What is the older guys power?
Kevin tie I think his power was just having our power Wasn't his power just that he saw two people walk into the bar You remember that when they're like showing everyone's power in that bar scene They're like what's your power and he's like a man in his mid 20s. He's with a girl. They're both dressed lavishly He's got roving hands. He's touching her buttocks and then those two people walk by a second later It's like you just saw them over there.
They're not sitting by the door. Yeah, you're just eyeball. Yeah, you're just a people watching That one looks like Truman Capote That's like a callback. That's a callback to a joke technically Oh, yeah, he's in a fucking any hole.
Yeah, good job, damn Well done. You gotta pat yourself on the back is no one else Um, but yeah, no, I agree Like they don't fit together in any cohesive way like I think the stand is a good example of like a ragtag bunch where like they all have Different strengths and weaknesses and they all kind of like need each other. Yeah, uh, these people just all have a power and they don't They don't seem to need each other not at all They only need each other because the buddy system is in effect Um, yeah, no, no, it's pretty bad And like I think when Stephen King says he is uh, he likes many series format because he can like flesh out the story He really just means he'll he can savor the same amount of story that he would in a shorter thing for longer Yeah, because it's not there aren't a ton of plot points even in this movie That that is why this movie is a little hard to talk about like the how we normally talk about movies because it doesn't have for a four-hour movie It doesn't have a lot of like big like turns or block points It's like a four-hour version of the Michael Jackson thing. Yeah, I wasn't expecting Well, I was expecting a some sort of reason that the house was doing it Which I don't think ever became a thing like yeah Like whatever it is You know the house needs to feed on people to get more power and keep drawing people in whatever There was none of that like it was weird to me that like the reason that the house was doing it was because the house was evil Yeah, the end.
Yeah, like that's not much of anything I yeah, no Is this uh is Rosewright involved with the dark tower? I just thought of it because of the name of the building and the prevalence of roses in the dark tower Oh, thanks. Oh, I don't know either. Um, bye.
Okay. Bye um So everybody Gets trapped inside the house. That's a major thing Um That's a huge problem. That's a weird deal Um at one point Emory's mom shows up to the house because he hasn't called her and she's very overbearing Even though he is a man in his what seems to be 30s Rose red is mentioned in the dark tower.
Really? Yeah, I would not be sorry. Yeah Um You've read those books right now. I have but I hadn't seen Oh, wait, hold on is it no sorry Rose red.
Yeah. No, it is it is. Okay, sorry All right, um, but yeah, I've read a bunch of them and I can't tell you anything There's a train that likes riddles. That's what I want to talk about.
It's the most even king thing in the world. I know Um So Emory's mom shows up at the house. She gets killed. She gets killed But not right away that scene that was another scene that could have been five minutes shorter When she's running around when she's running around when they find her in the kitchen And it's just like her writhing and writhing and it Just like at a certain point she can't talk.
Yeah, and it's because she's been hitting ahead too many times Yeah, it's five minutes of her going. Ah and then going what and her going? Yeah, she was her character was unbearable. I liked her in the first scene.
I like that dynamic I thought that was pretty good like a little like an adult llamas boy and her just being like Well, did you did you hardball him on the phone and like I don't know making it like moving and shaking? Yeah, I Again another thing I thought there'd be like more too. Mm-hmm. She is gone after that scene and doesn't show up except to die.
Yeah, so right. Yeah Um then the the professor who was who sent the kid in there who Got this woman her tenure revoked He shows up at the place because there was a message left on his machine from Steve saying that he came that they found The kid bologna and he's lit his wrists and he the last thing he wrote in his own blood was this professor's name Um, so he's like I have to do something about this. Yeah. Yeah, I must address this now This could look bad for me.
Yeah So then he goes to the house and he also dies. Mm-hmm. Hey, here's a weird thing. Yeah, what was up with the Christian lady.
Yeah, finding Jimmy Simpson's body hanging from a noose and said I'm sorry mom. Yeah, I'm scared mom. I'm scared mommy. Yeah.
Yeah What was that? No, I don't know I don't know At a certain point, um, Julian sends and this Christian lady are running through the house getting chased Julian stands like sacrifices himself Um, and he's sort of the Australian or the British guy from uh, the Lengoliers of this movie. Yeah, he's just like very good Yeah, he's very good. He's also like, uh, he gives Emory a lot of shit.
Yeah, he's like Emory's like basically who is very much the uh, uh, the yeah, the bronson pin shot. Yeah, yeah, the To me to me. Yeah, that's like it can get tombs out of my head and tomb. We got something there.
Um, I'm gonna tell you what's important Yeah, okay, and again another character with like a uh A bad relationship with his aggressive parent. Yeah, right. Um, that's a trope Write it down the to me scenario Uh, yeah, what else there's a lot of people running around in the house. Like that's what a lot of this movie is It's just like running room to room.
Yeah, it's like a scooby-doo hallway. Yeah, I did like when uh, Christian lady When the church lady is in that library with the glass floor and it starts she turns into water. Yeah, I thought that was great Yeah, have you seen that movie with Scarlett Johansson? Don't Goes in the bed.
Oh, yeah, that's what we said. Yeah, that's a call. Wow. I was about to get so mad I don't even know what a callback is Uh, it's that fuck she plays an alien blue ruin green room.
What's next Scarlett Johansson. That's a callback Hang on. That's a second chance. Oh, damn it.
Wait. What does she play? I literally wasn't listening The movie under the skin from uh, 2013 she played skin like Sebastian the crab. Yeah, she plays an alien who um, like picks up men um in like a car and bring lores them back into his into her house where There's like this it's a weird like this black void, right?
And she strips down naked. The guys are like, yeah, I'm into that and they start stripping down naked and Uh, they start the men start walking towards her and as they're walking towards her They're sinking into the floor in like in this very similar to what is happening here where they're like and they don't realize that it's happening And they just sink underneath the floor. Whoa They have like sucked into this. It's like a black water kind of a thing.
It's just nutrients. It's very upset Whatever it is. Yeah, that sounds really I like that a lot. It's a good move.
It's really cool Um, yeah, but that's if anybody's seen that movie. That's what this looks like This woman. She's walking across a mirrored floor and then starts and it just comes into it Yeah, which I loved I thought because it's like a practical effect and it looked really good And there's so much shitty CGI and bad puppets in this movie so many cribs keep her looking at his fucking ghost puppets weird puppets Um Yeah, and what we what we find out like why the doors and windows and everything won't open is because the little girl is keeping them close Because the house is making her do that I guess it's very unclear. You know what?
You know what was really frustrating was like they explained that I think it's in the same scene when Steve Rimbauer uh not congressman Steve king. Uh, Steve Rimbauer is He because he keeps having this recurring memory of Going into the attic of this mansion and seeing the ghost of his great grandmother And she's sometimes she's a goolly. Sometimes she's a pretty lady But at a certain point he's like no, that's not a real memory the house implanted that memory Like why I don't why why why couldn't it have been real? Why couldn't you have been like drawn to this house since you were a boy?
What's wrong with that stupid stupid stupid ass? Um I think we talked about this, but this was directed by uh craig backslty. Yeah, um, did we say that no craig backslty also directed storm in the century Uh, oh really? Yeah in a movie action Jackson with carl weathers and stone cold with brian the boss bosel I don't know boss.
I just boss worth Bosworth Can we just skip to the end? Yeah, I mean like we're basically at the end. Yeah, Nancy Travis dies As the house is like the house is like collapsing in sorta. Yeah, the little girl basically like um She opens the doors in the windows so they're free the people are like they're gonna run out and Nancy Travis is like she's like no I have to stay I have to check my equipment I have to check the people proximity counter Uh like that this was the thing that was like why why she I don't understand her turn because that's the thing There's nothing very inconsistent Like even if she had lord them there to be like I needed your psychic energy as bait to write the house up Right, which I think is sort of suggested but not confirmed or disconfirmed So she's just like no my research.
It's not even like she's trying to gather the stuff Yeah to get out right. She's just like sitting down and then all of a sudden's like huh and the chandelier falls in the whole house is like sparking Yeah, why? So everybody sort of runs out of the house, right? So it's emory.
It's the christian lady. It's steve It's no one Eilinsky and little Annie. Yeah, um, I think that's everyone. How does everyone?
um So and her son Nancy Travis stays in the house and then as soon as she's like locked in the house She's like I've made a huge mistake and then um all the ghosts and ghoulies circle and descend upon her all the ghosts of all the uh the people that lived in the house previously and all the people that she brought there and died They all descend on her and kill her not unlike Um the night flyer. Yeah, I like the night flyer. It's a lot like it's like the last thing Yeah, um And then they cut to like six months later and they're all there standing outside the house There's a big sign on the uh on the outside of the house that says like condominiums Yes And and that's basically up there like well the house is gonna get knocked down and fuck them And yeah, they're rebuilding it. They're putting condos up and in the up in like the tower the highest point in the house So stupid there's three ghosts one is allen rimbauer one is The old man.
Oh no it is sir. Yeah, I thought it was a king um And the ghost of Nancy Travis And they're all looking out there and they're like well, I guess we're fucked now because they're gonna build condos. Yeah, and that's that's basically the movie Yeah, um I didn't need it. Yeah, I mean folks I didn't need it.
I don't know the the house Was like this maze in like geographically? It was a maze and I felt like this movie was just like it's a maze of a movie. It was a maze balls Epic epic bacon for the win I am trying to find the oh wait, why am I trying to find it? Well, I don't have it on my computer What's up?
I was trying to find the last that whole last scene of rose red because I wanted to cross reference I forgot to check to see if the real estate company is the same real estate company from the dark tower Oh, because it could be um I can yeah, because there's like a sign that says like coming soon condominiums It says a new tech star condominium development coming on the sites in 2002. We built for the future. That's the whole thing. No, maybe not Uh, no, I don't think that's it.
All right Okay, so that's it. That's the movie. That's a movie. Let's talk about yeah.
No, do you want to start with what we hated or what we loved? Oh, that hurts my part. Oh, he hit that button with such an eagerness. That's such a bigger I think there was a lot to hate in this movie.
I'd say so But this isn't it's not like an especially bad movie. It's like a middle of the road mediocre movie, which I think is worse Um Yeah, so what did I hate most about this emory's mom was real difficult to watch every time she showed up? Um, just the fucking like I don't know the length of these things man. I can watch like a 10 hours I could binge watch like a 10 hour.
Remember how much we liked the stand? Yeah, yeah, I like the stand It was no how long was that it's four hours? It's about what this was yeah, that thing zipped on by zipped by had a great time watching it We've watched many series that move and this one be I don't know It really did it like maybe you know it We have no emotional connections to any of these characters So it it's difficult to care when any of them die or when any of them are in danger Like when any of anybody here is in danger. You're like, I don't really know who this person is Yeah, so I couldn't who could care The only reason you latch on to characters to be like either oh, I recognize them from something or oh, I can't stand when they're on the screen Yeah, like right like what's his name's mom?
What is Emory Emory who was my least favorite part of the movie. Yeah, she's terrible. She's Just screaming the entire time. Yeah, it reminded me of a Yardley Smith in whatever movie she was in yardley Smith the Simpson.
Yeah. Yeah. She was in a maximum overdraft That's right. Yeah, she was she was married to that little piss boy.
Mm-hmm. Oh pissing in the booth Yeah, that's right. Oh, you gotta go pee. Can I come watch oh?
Gather it up with my mouth. Oh Oh, can you just pee down my nose? She says I carumba don't have a piss-sex man. That's not she's not the boys of ours.
No, I know Yeah, she's the voice of Lisa Simpson. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah Yeah, don't don't ever accuse me of not knowing my Nancy Cartwright through my ear.
I'm sorry Why that boy couldn't tell his Yardley Smith from his Nancy Cart, right? Ding It might yeah, so my least favorite part also Emory's mom Oh, but what do we like about this movie? Shining Moments Blood all over the Dean's face. He was so cheesed.
He was super cheesy We haven't done it. Let's do that Yeah, no probably the probably the water floor. I thought it was yeah. Yeah.
Oh, yeah real quick I'm sorry. No the water floor was yeah as far as like the effects in the movie I think I was the best effect but also like the tone I was expecting of sort of like Victorian Gothic, it just felt very like that and like Emily Deschanel laying in the fountain. That was where the two things that felt tonally correct to me. Everything else was a wash.
Yeah. What'd you like? I don't know. You don't have to.
Yeah. We forgot to say this, but at the end when they're running out of the house, little Annie drops a bunch of rocks on house again. Oh, yeah, that's right. It's so funny too, because Melanie Alinsky is a line that's something like, oh, here come the rocks again.
Yeah, we're like, she's doing the rocks again. Oh boy, here come the rocks. Let me start dropping. Check offs a rock rain.
Yeah. It might be the rocks. It might be. That's pretty funny.
It might be like the opening scene with the rocks like destroying this old couple's house. Around me. I'm familiar. Yeah.
No, it is. It's very stupid. I liked it a lot. Should we, you know, what in this movie have we seen before in the book I'm working on now?
There's a spooky monster. King tropes. Let's go over some ground rules. Bees.
What's the other one? My girl? No, where? Come on.
I had it before. I wrote it down. There was another one with bees. Hold on.
Oh, it was a shining. Remember they had that wasp mask? That's right. The miniseries.
Yeah. That is really weird. Because this is very similar to the shining or at least what they're going for. Yeah.
It's like bigger shining. Bees. Only being able to see ghosts in a screen. Yeah, haunted houses.
Bugs Bunny-ing we forgot to mention. It's special kids who shine. Yeah. Yeah.
A rag pug. Yeah, there is a bug. Yeah, there's a bug. Yeah, there's a bug.
It's when Christian Mingle and Julian Assange are being chased down the hallway. The church, sorry, the church lady and Julian Assange. I would watch this movie. Yeah.
And yeah, they're getting, there's like something under the rug. Like the runner. It's bug's funny. It's bug's funny.
Yeah. And he pops up and says, eh, what's up, doc? And the church lady says isn't that special. And Julian Assange says, you can't convict me if I don't, if I just stay over here.
Yeah. A rag tag group. Rag tag, it's a bottle episode. It's a bottle movie, whatever.
The two-me scenario. It's an hour. Miniatures of the house. Oh my God, this is the fucking shining.
Yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah. And like hitting the miniature affecting the real house.
Yep. Yeah. Ghost and Gully is circling and descending on the flawed main character. Mm-hmm.
Nightflyer. How about, can I say crows? Yeah. Because birds hitting the window, for sure.
Crows are eating that old man who dies of a heart attack. Yeah, that was a bit much. But a bird flies into the window and then hangs out in front of the window with the worst CGI I have ever seen. Hits the window and he's like, crah!
Yeah, crah, crah, it's not even CGI. It's like a hand-drawn crow. Yeah. Yeah.
It's like the commercial where the birds fly into the window because it's too clean. You can't see it. That's all I have for tropes. How about you?
Yes. Okay. Well, in that case, let's move on to our final segment. IMDB.
They just cheated us. This is IMDB. IMDB. Where we compare our opinion.
Oh, the movie. Against the average user. IMDB.com. 18,427.
As of the time of this recording, souls have voted on this movie and awarded it an average user score of 6.7 out of 10 stars. Rob, say it with me. That is too high. I think by at least two stars.
I do. It's fine. I would say it's a five at best. Yeah.