550-The Harm of Silence in Marriage

I talk to men every single week often they tell me their good intentions: "She was in pain and I was there. I was present." And I have to applaud them, because that's certainly a win! But I do want to encourage them that presence without words is not enough. Your silence when she's hurting isn't neutral. Unfortunately, it can feel like you don't care. She may even worry that you're judging her. Sadly, she may even feel that her heart doesn't matter to you. I don't think that's what you mean. I think you may just not know what to say. It can feel awkward and risky and you don't want to look stupid. But here's the thing: Jesus wasn't silent. He spoke. He served people with His words. Not to perform. Not to impress. To help them. So here are the words I often invite men to say. It might be worth you writing these down: "Honey, how are you feeling?" "That seems really hard. How are you doing?" "Is there anything you want to share?" Yes, it'll feel awkward. Yes, she might not respond the way you hope. But what you just communicated is: I care about your heart. Do it again next week. And the week after. It compounds. And if you've been wrong, don't just change the behavior. Use words -- don't be silent. I encourage you to apologize. And I invite you to be specific. Own it. Character is revealed more by what you repent of -- even than what you do (Dallas Willard). Silence after conviction isn't golden. It can actually be cowardice wearing a mask. I know I've been there more than I'd like to admit. Listen to this week's episode. Then, say words to show you care. And if you're a graduate ready to get back in the game, Proactive launches with a special graduate kickoff. Discounted price disappears September 10th. Brand new? delightyourmarriage.com/cc Blessings, DYM Team (we used ai to summarize her podcast)   PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score. PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you. PPPS - Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say: [before coaching], "My wife would punch her card occasionally thinking it was her duty to perform, which made it worse for both of us. We had slowly lost connection and focus on one another. Life including family, work and ministry took focus on our time and our lives. We were doing everything for everybody else and found ourselves absent of time for each other."[after coaching] "Awareness, understanding, joy, health, compassion, intimacy and godliness Growth of myself and our relationship. Seeing the beauty in my bride. Pursuing it with vigor and not worrying about vulnerability and getting shot down. The program in itself was a major celebration."