#56: Reclaimed Belonging, with Richard Rollinson

Send us Fan MailA child disappears into the underside of a foam settee, furious when the adults cannot find her. Another child “loses” Super Ted again and again, and what looks like chaos turns into a quiet test: will you come looking, will you bring me back, will I still belong?I sit down for the second instalment of my recent conversation with Richard Rollinson, much-loved elder of the Mulberry Bush therapeutic community, to unpack what belonging really means in out-of-home care and therapeutic residential care. We talk about how the stories we tell children about their parents can either stabilise them or split them apart, and why it matters to honour birth family without denying harm. Richard shares a practical reframe for the child who says “my mother doesn’t love me”, and we tease out the difference between making a necessary judgement and being judgemental.From Kryptonite and the fear of being human to Santa versus Satan and the trap of perfection, we explore how young people get stuck in all-or-nothing thinking, and how adults can offer a “common garden” alternative: ordinary, mixed, and survivable. We also tackle a bigger question in residential care policy: the drift towards one-or-two child homes and what we risk losing when we move away from therapeutic communities and the power of the group.If you care about trauma-informed practice, belonging, life story meaning, and better care for children and young people, press play. Subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a review so more people can find the conversation.Richard’s BioRichard has a long association with Residential Therapeutic Communities, having worked at the Mulberry Bush School for well over 20 years and where, from 1991 to 2001, he was its Director. He was also Director, Children and Young People, at the Peper Harow Foundation, from 2001 to 2005. Richard qualified as a Social Worker with an MSc from Oxford University in 1983, following the then Part 1 training in Child Psychotherapy at the Tavistock Centre. In 2005 he completed the Ashridge MA and training in Organisational Consulting. He has been Chairman of the Charterhouse Group of Therapeutic Communities and for many years the Chairman of the Care Leavers’ Foundation. In 2014 he became Chair of Trustees at the Mulberry Bush School, only recently stepping down from that position, while remaining a Trustee with a special brief for the links and development of the contacts with and participation of former pupils. He has published numerous articles and continues to lecture widely across the UK and Europe.Links:Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcast.                Podcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/Disclaimer:Disclaimer: Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce. Finally, all references to case examples are anonymised to the extent that the actual case could not be identified, or are fictional but based on real-life examples for illustrative purposes, or have client consent to talk about in an educative context.Support the show