57 - I give myself permission to feel

I give myself permission to feel We all engage in numbing or distracting activities some of the time. A lot of us, we do this a lot of the time. It’s because feelings can be overwhelming, and in the past the behaviour we’re doing alleviated that feeling, or at least stopped us from feeling it for a bit. Giving yourself permission to feel is hugely liberating. And yes, it can be a little scary (or a lot scary!) We give ourselves permission to feel when we understand that feelings are natural signals about the world, our needs and our actions. What would happen if we approached our feelings with curiosity? We can get curious about the direct sensation of what we’re feeling - e.g. where in the body do I feel anger, happiness, shame, excitement etc. We can also get curious about what need is generating the feeling. It’s important here to distinguish between needs and strategy. Let’s say for example we’re feeling lonely. We have a need for connection. Our strategy could be to spend time with a particular person in a particular setting. We can often get hung up on the strategy and be upset when it can’t happen. But if we step back we can look at other ways our needs can be met. But before we get there we need to build the skill or recognising our emotions and giving ourselves permission to feel them, instead of instantly looking to satisfy or numb them.