5B BROKE BUT BALLING – BLACK FRIDAY SALES REPORTS (03 DECEMBER 2025)

Every month we’re stress-tweeting about petrol, groceries and rent... but the minute someone says “70% OFF” we’re camping in a mall parking lot at 3am like it’s a Beyoncé concert. This year’s Black Friday in Mzansi wasn’t just big – it was insane. Card machines were smoking, dashboards were melting, and some people spent more on one transaction than most of us will see in a decade.