6. The Bell Witch

Just try to think of a better name for a ghost than “the Bell Witch.” You can’t do it. Don’t even try. Forget what I said earlier, do not even try. The spirit that haunted John Bell and his family back in the early 1800s is a classic American ghost, absolutely chock-a-block with piss and vinegar. She also hangs out in a cave, which is pretty dope. Come for the terrifying tale of the witch; stay for the questionable way doctors tested the lethality of poisons in the 19th Century. The only thing scarier than this week’s story of the Bell Witch is Patrick’s hernia issues, about which he goes into surprising detail for reasons that are, as of yet, unknown.