Hey guys, it's Justin here. I just want to say that this is a live show, obviously, so there's some visual elements that might not play as well to the listeners at home. However, we do have every single video that we played, including one video surprise available on our blog over at RealGoodShow.com. So head over there and you can watch along with us, and I feel like a lot of it will still play.
You might have to listen intently during listener questions, but we kind of repeat the questions for you, and I do feel like it's worthwhile to stick around through that. And there was some technical difficulties off the hop in the show. We had to lose it for seven minutes or so, but I assure you that you were missing nothing with that out of the way, without further ado, the RGS live show. RealGood, RealGood, RealGood, RealGood, RealGood, RealGood, RealGood, RealGood, RealGood, RealGood, RealGood, RealGood, RealGood, RealGood.
But this is really weird, hey? No, it's good. It's just like a theater of the absurd play where all the characters are acutely aware that the audience is just staring at them. Justin wrote that joke before he got here.
For sure, he's like, I'm going to bring up the theater of the absurd thing. I know a theater, then everyone's going to like it. Is there over and around the crying again? Two point five.
It's starting. But yeah, John, I think you touched on this off the hop. I don't know why anyone is here, but I'm glad that everyone is. So thank you very much.
And I mean, we have some things planned out for the show this time. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Yeah, we didn't go in this blind.
I mean, sort of we did a little bit. I wasn't really worried about myself. I mean, the show wasn't worried about you or Stephanie there. I was mostly worried about you people not being able to handle your deep-cove, pina colloggers and just shouting shit during the show.
That was my primary concern. So if you want to get that off your chest right now, feel free to just show everyone. I already told them, no, what the fuck are you doing? No, I know what I said.
No, but let's get it out of your system. Let's everyone yell. No, no, let's everyone. John is a professional comedian.
He's a professional comedian. He set the audience up. But you know what? Let's fuck all that up.
Let's ruin it. No, let's wreck it. Let's wreck it. No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, see?
That was just cheering. I was expecting some real brutal heckles in there. We'll save that for later. Oh, well, the show's going great so far.
Hey, man, it's hot. It's hot up here. I'm going to take my jacket. I feel, yeah, sure.
I'm double-miking. All right. Oh, oh, I thought I got no clothes underneath for a second. That's what it is pretty like.
Yeah, it doesn't actually like zip down all the way. Oh, yeah, no, that would be hot as hell. That's why we're a t-shirt, please. We usually start the show.
Should we do like the typical structure of a real good show? Well, no, we were going to do the typical structure. But then we thought this is a live show. We got to start it with a band.
We got to bring back one of our most popular bits of all time. Just to kick off the show. So we are going to get to the normal structure. But we definitely for our first ever live show, we felt like we absolutely had to go back to probably, OK, it's not the most popular segment of all time.
It's very close. It's very close. It's very close. It's great for the longstanding fans who have been with us since the beginning.
Probably only maybe five of which are here tonight. Yeah, perfect. So cheer if that's you. Yeah, don't.
However, you are definitely lying. No, that's good. But I appreciate the false honesty there. So let's get to it.
So let's get that segment going. Let's pump the truth. That's a true classic. Did you forget that?
That's the one. Oh, perfect. OK, here we go. Second.
I don't have a name for the segment. So for those of you who don't know, you did great. For those of you that don't know, this is the segment where Stefan reads out his last 50 Twitter followers! Hell yeah, let's get the crowd pumped!
It's our most beloved bit. Those of you that have never heard the show before are like, what the fuck? But here we go! Alright, we can do it together.
Oh hell yeah. Great name off the hot bread, Chartlet. Yeah. And the peat wheat, peat wheat, yeah.
At zig, at swell map songs. At, oh, I'm like reading that. You're a man. You're a man.
At Walt Baxter. At Snabbelfax. I'm going to skip ahead here. And not Safe for Work News.
Oh, that's good. Shane SSM. Okay. At the Cougs.
Yeah. At Sore Lakes. Yeah. Justin, you want to get on this?
This is a really good stuff. Oh, this is a great bit. Man, they're loving it. Alright, oh, anime nazi.
Oh, and his Twitter handle is at MadBoyKumbumBum. That way it's very, hold on. He has 79 followers. Nice 10 on.
Yeah. The Mike Sains. Sam Brown. Jake Thompson.
Polites. At the light, Philip. Well, he knows. He's a very polite.
Oh, but 182. That's good, Bobs. Yeah, I'm supposed to count 50. No, we can just kinda ask.
Ascheek's flapping at two fast two flat children. Melon Cauliflower at Bulbas Park. Gary Johnson. Kind of sneaked one normie in there.
Yeah. Francis Danger. Yeah, Jesus Cummings. That's good.
William F. Cuckley Jr. And seven, you finish it off with something. Oh, that's great.
Banana bread, Fred. Perfect. My segment. I mean, that wasn't quite 50.
Imagine if we had 50. We'll never heard the show before. Literally 50. In a row.
So I came up with that segment when someone left a review on the iTunes store saying, yeah, I like the sports stuff. But how about less Twitter shit? And so I was like, well, you know what? I'm gonna make just the worst segment about Twitter possible.
Gotta give the people what they want. No, that's the opposite of what I mean. Yeah. It's good.
Great job. Great segment. Wait a minute. Everybody.
It's a hot start. You know, you warmed the crowd up, John. I figured we should just deflate the McChillow. Absolutely.
Love it. And I guess if there's one thing that we've realized doing the show, particularly over the last couple of weeks here, it's that we can make a lot of money off of segments within the show, whether we do them or not do them. People are willing to pay to never hear something again, and people are willing to pay to please do it multiple times. With that in mind, if there's anything you would or would not like to hear this evening, Stephanie's now going to pass around his hat for in-person patreon donations.
This is a joke. Don't put anything in the hat. I don't know. You're reaching.
It's a joke. Please. Don't put anything in the hat. Don't.
Unless you've never donated the show before, then put something in the fucking hat. No, I'm just joking. I'm just going to do in-person patreon donations. Because I think we're doing in-person review review.
We are. Yes. Has anyone not reviewed our show on iTunes before? Who would like to review our show?
Sam, do you want to do a live review review? Please come up to the stage, please. Play this song. There we go.
Two very enthusiastic thumbs up. Hi, sir. This is awesome. You've watched episode of every episode of every episode of every episode.
Those of you that have never listened to the show before, what we do is we read. We normally read an iTunes review of the show. If you've never reviewed anything on iTunes before, here's how you do it. You go to your computer, you find a white music note.
Is it blue? No, it's not blue. It's white. It's white with a multicolored note.
It depends on what the algorithm is. If it's blue, throw your computer out the window. Your computer is useless. It's useless.
If it's not updated by now, it never will. Get it out of there. 10.1 is not going to work. You're done.
Your iOS is finished. Get rid of it. Normally this is where someone would leave an iTunes review, but we figured let's just do it live. It's not going to help our algorithm any.
No, it's not boosting the rankings. We don't need it. We don't need it. We're probably not helping the show either at this point.
But you know this is a big show tonight because Sam Anderson is here. The BC Lions are playing a home game this evening. No, it's a way game. All right.
She would not be here. Well, if it was home, maybe she would still be here. But maybe. See?
Okay. But you see why I didn't know if it was home or away because no one cares about this. The Lions are like, they're like eight and three right now. Is that correct?
Well, there's some Swedish fish in there. And some pot and some pot and some pot and some pot and some pot and some pot. Okay. I'm alive in the flesh iTunes review from Sam Anderson.
Who writes? This is not going to be good. Weirdly, iTunes will not let me submit a review for anything. So I've tried to review this.
Your band from iTunes reviews? It doesn't submit. I think you for your review and then it never posted and it still sits there. Did you click submit?
Yeah. This is every app, everything ever. Basically, I hate this shit show. You guys are garbage.
Whoa, whoa, easy. Five stars. Okay. Thank you.
Thank you. Have to get the five stars. Full through in the end. I mean, it wasn't quite the handsome drifter review, but they can't all be.
They can't all be. These are really dreadful. This episode is brought to you by Sam's cookies and these candy NHL pucks that Justin bought at winners. They were in the discount line on the way out of winners.
They come in condom wrappers. Yeah. Yeah. And they're not good tasting.
They're not like rich. They're not anything. Don't chew them. Just suck them and spit them out.
That goes for a lot of things. I don't know where to go from there. I was saying it earnestly. I meant it for real.
You chewed them earlier and you had to run into the street. Yeah. Spit them out. They taste okay when you just have them in your mouth.
You bite into it. You take a lot of people make. Yeah. Biting into the box.
Yeah. We could visit another infamous segment on the show right now. Oh, this is like the classic segment. We technically revisited a couple of weeks ago for the first time in a very long time.
Did we? Yeah. Not this one. Which one was segment of it?
Oh, that, okay. We could do that one too. Yeah. No, that's not what it is.
Because you're fired up I think. Oh, that's true. You are. It's time to get real.
What's steppin'? You can clap. Let's get real. That sounds good.
That sounds good. Yeah. So many times it took us to record that theme. Like 15.
One. One. Yeah. One take.
That's right. One take. One take where it's only needed one take. But we sang it many times before.
Sounds good. I'm not talking about my dome here. Yeah. And this is spraying off the dome.
I believe this is sports related. No, it's not. No. You're mad about something else.
Yeah. So there was the dumpster bombing in New York a couple of weeks back. Unlike Justin and John here, I think that was a horrible thing. Are you insinuating we like that?
I don't even know what it was. In insinuation means I'm kind of like, I just said it. Oh, okay. All right.
So personally, I think it was bad. It shouldn't happen. So what was it? People bombed dumpsters?
That was a dumpster explosion. No one died. Twenty people were injured, but they were all fine. Yeah.
But anyway, I don't like that. And you guys do. So I'm just getting real here. Yeah.
And I also want to say what was inside the dumpster was John's tweet. That's why I was for it. I was like, let's mark this Twitter account. I mean, John, you talked earlier about the fact that there was like a school situation for you this morning.
Yeah. Now, when you said that there was like a warning written in the bathroom, the school was going to be shot up. Like, I knew it wasn't serious when you said that it was like just written in pen. Because if someone was going to shoot up the school, I'm pretty sure they would like etch it all over the bathroom mirror with their own shit.
Wow. Okay. I mean, yeah, totally man. Should we get out of here?
That's like the weirdest thing you've ever said in the show. No, I'm positive. If someone was a terrorist, they would not use pencil. That's probably why the RCMP thought it was safe.
Like, was it shit? No. Just pen. Oh, he's not going to fucking do it.
He's a pussy. He was really doing his own shit. This is exactly what I'm saying. There was also another high powered rifle situation yesterday.
Somebody in East Vancouver was going to blow up a gas station or something. Oh, really? Why are you looking at me? Well, I mean, I didn't hear from you yesterday, so.
I will say, dumpster bombing, I'm four. Gas stations, again. Yeah. You might be surprised by that, but that's true.
I think we've gotten real enough. I thought you were going to get real about a different topic. Yeah. You were prepared to get real about your favorite thing to get real about.
Yeah. The NHL franchise. Well, I was. I'm kind of a little upset because you just were supposed to bring a copy of NHL08.
This is true. Well, Screeno McNeil is in the audience this evening, I believe? Well, Screeno McNeil. There he is.
He won the heart trophy seven years in a row. You might not have noticed, but he did. In the NHL08? Yeah, exactly.
Well, Screeno McNeil, for those of you who have not listened to the show recently, was one of the Make-A-Wish kids in the NHL franchise in EA Sports. He's not dying. He never had a disease. It was for charity.
The money was donated to Make-A-Wish, I believe. Is that? Well, is that correct? Okay.
How much money wells? Well, how much money wells? How much money wells? Okay, more or less than 5,000.
More! More! Oh! Shit, I didn't know it was that easy to be 99.
Maybe we should pool all of our real good show money and get Stefan in there. Well, we immediately erased him out of the game. It gives you a deal with the Make-A-Wish kids. Yeah, I get the fuck out.
Not only for the goalie though. No. Because they still get really good. Well, I know, what ranking were you out of 100?
Probably like an 84. And then you worked your way up. Oh, okay. See, that's the problem.
But you don't know how much money wells. But you know the rating and your potential, but not how much money. Okay, sure wells. Well, I'm about to bring a copy of any tellaways.
So you want to sign it? Did anyone bring one? I hope someone did bring one. That's the one with Eric Stahl on the cover.
I forgot mine. But, um, congratulations. But Stefan, you wanted to get fired up about the new iteration of NHL. Yeah, I mean, it's really only the one thing.
And it's the fact that you still can't edit lines in the off season. Which is like, you got, you love the- Very relatable gripes. No, okay. So, you start like a franchise.
You know what you should do if you want to grab about it. Go to the EA offices, write it in shit on the mirror. Then they'll know your series. The whole idea of running your own team is you want to kind of, you know, choose your line up and stuff.
And then the offices, and that's like when you're setting your lineups, right? That makes sense. You're signing for agents or making trades or drafting players. And literally the last like 10 years in the EA NHL series, you can't edit your lines in the office.
You can't even go to the screen to like look at what your lines look like. So, it sucks. Okay. So, like, like, the worst.
It's like the Canucks sign Louie Erickson. Yeah. And it's going to be like, he's going to look great with the twins. They're just like, well, uh, I mean, we don't even know what players we have.
So, you could play on any line really. That's probably what actually. We haven't played with Brendan Gantz and Thatcher Demko on the fourth line. So, yeah, that was not real enough for you.
I think so. That was very real. That was a great job. That was a big gripe.
I know you've been wanting to get that off your chest for quite a while. So, you got to go get about that, right? Not really. And no one can say that they came for a sports podcast recording this evening.
At one point, they did not talk about sports at all. So, we got that. We did it. We talked about sports.
Kind of. But, well, are we going to go to the big? Yeah. The big classic segment right now.
That's the one that's everyone's favorite, I think. Which one is that? There's a lot of favorites. Yeah, well, we all know the clear favorite, but this is not the clear.
It has multiple different themes. Ah, okay. I got you. I turn on the screen on.
You turn the screen on and I'll put this on. I don't technically know what button it is. It's like a big on button. Oh my god, I'll do it.
Write the directions down and shit. I'm going to melt that ten more times. I look Justin's mom right in the face when I meet that joke. That was super weird for both of us.
Justin's mom used to be my boss. I talked about that on the podcast before. I'm not sure he did. Oh, well, she used to be my boss, but she's retired now, so I can say that.
Oh, hell yeah. There we go. Yeah, thank you. You want to turn a ten dollar raise per hour if you throw your own employees through a grass.
How do you like when he slaps you in a face? How do you get the back? If you yell at him, why why? You guys think this is okay?
I have a reputation and I have to protect him. And you will destroy it. I'm leaving. I'm not resting anymore.
Bring it back. One more time. One more time. Okay.
Bring it back. So that's what we're talking about. Normally I have to sit in my apartment and listen to this whole thing. I closed it.
So who here? This is totally like Kanye and Jay Z. Well, who here has never seen an episode of Our Esquieu? Well, people that regularly listen to show, they haven't even gotten into it.
So what we're going to do is show you, that was only like three people. There's only like three people. Like be truthful. Who's never seen everyone here watching Spike TV on Saturday afternoon.
Even my parents. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Alright.
I love the video game awards. the video game awards. Okay, well, if you haven't seen it, even if you have seen it, this is a clip from the greatest episode of our episode. We talk about it frequently.
Yeah, so. We figured we're live, you guys can see it, we got a play. Some people might not know why we talk about John Tapper so much. This is as good as it gets.
This is why. This is vintage Tapper. John gathers the staff to confront their pirate fantasy with some harsh reality. Hi guys, my name is John Tapper.
For the next five days you work for me. Fixing bars is easy. Fixing people is tough. You guys are pouring drinks that people are complaining about, you're serving food that people can eat.
And she's thinking because of this, your smirk is gonna bury you. You think it's funny that she's in debt, 900,000 hours? No, it's not funny at all. That's good to me.
There is a grown man yelling at the top as long as people who aren't children. When you dress like a six year old child, I wouldn't talk about that. I don't like an arrogant ass. I am.
But I'm pushing too far. I'm just like, I do this professionally for a living. And if you think this is a get up a six year old who wears? It makes me angry.
Gets the rest, you guys are gonna need it. We're gonna turn this into a money machine. He's gonna make me put on a shirt and a tie. No, it's a fair fire.
I love that that was his, like, most people say that when they're artists, right? Like, I can't go into the business world. Like, I can't wear a suit and tie. Usually they're referring to art.
This guy's like, no, waiter at a pirate themed restaurant. I would argue that that is kind of art. I guess when one night Mike does it. I say he's more devoted to his craft than any of us are.
Like, if we're being honest about it, he lives it. Every moment. He actually has one eye. Really?
They reveal it later? No, because he doesn't have it. They can't reveal it. But like, do they take his eye patch off?
No. You said yes. Maybe. Yes.
100% they take his eye patch off. Well, it's like he's born into it, right? I mean, wow, he probably wasn't born with one eye, but he lost it and then he really leaned into losing it. What?
Hey man, how's your friend doing that lost his eye? You know what? He's really leaning into it. He's fine.
He's gonna be great. Like, later they bring in like a Serbian expert to like teach him how to be a bartender and he can't stop being a pirate. Like, just walk up to the table and be like, hey guys, what a look at you today. How are you?
He's like, I, what can I bring you? He just can't, because he can't stop living that life. It may surprise you, but pirates is closed. What I'd like to be dead.
I mean, they went back to the bar. There's an episode, there's special episode of the bar rescue called Bar Rescue, colon, back to the bar. And it's where they go back to the bar. Like a bar they've been to before and tried to rescue him and he didn't keep.
So they went back to pirates and it's like close twice. I don't know. It's like double close now. That was the one they changed to corporate bar and grill, right?
They actually, so they changed. They literally called it corporate bar and grill, because it's right near a bunch of offices. And so John Tapper is like, oh, yeah. We need to appeal to the corporate clientele in this area.
Bring him in for a watch. Yeah. So they literally just called it corporate. Yeah.
Well, I can see what's worried about having to put on a suit and tie and they made a suit and tie. That was like a beat. Yeah. Off the bar.
Yeah, it was like a suit theme bar. But it's closing. Yeah, because they went back to being pirate bar within a week. I think it was like three days.
Yeah. I like your Tapper impression. You should do it again. Yeah.
Yeah. Shut it down. If there's one thing I won't stand for, it's Rod Chicken. You're going to give these people Sam and Ella.
Sounds a lot like you're Jim Benning impression. Did you really want him to do the impression? No. But he leaned into us.
I live that Tapper life, maybe. Well, I mean, we could hear more from John Tapper right now. We could. It's an extended version of the Tapper tracker at Paul.
This was sent to us a really long time ago by a listener from Buffalo, New York. I just love these pucks in my mouth. Can I split them in someone's hand? Very common problem.
Oh, I like this. You'd actually do it. I didn't want to chew it. It was a callback to when I passed the hat around.
You remember that? Yeah. And people put that in your hat and it's come full circle. There's silver too.
I guess you sucked the black off. Thank you. John Tapper media. I hated that played so well with this crowd.
Has released a mobile app that was sent to us by Hannah Konda on Twitter some months ago. She was in Buffalo did not fly in for the show strangely this evening. That's right. That's right.
Boo Hannah Konda. But we do thank her for alerting us to the existence of You Got Tapper. That's the name of the app. That's the name of the app.
With an apostrophe D. He's punking people or something. You would think that this app would include classic clips, everybody's favorite quotes from the show. We just showed you right now.
We'll hear a little bit of that right now. It's just a sound board. That's the only thing on the app. That's it.
That's all. No excuses. Only solutions. That's it.
Just to buy yourself. And it shows a little picture of him. You are a drunken fool. The thing is if you listen really closely and my microphone is not loud enough for us to really hear it.
These are voice memos that John Tapper made on his phone while driving. You can hear the birds in the background. You can hear road noise. The koustics are terrible.
You should be in the back of a car being like I guess I should do this now. You know what they should do to the person who invented this app? Fire his ass. You didn't plan that.
I just saw Fire his ass. I went okay. I assume he says Fire his ass there. Yeah he does.
And I guess everyone in this room can agree to this statement. You've just been covered. That's our new closing. I don't think he's ever actually said that in the show.
No, definitely not. They're like what should we call this app? Let's call it getting Tapper. He's like okay.
He's definitely never said this on the show before either. Shut it the fuck down. Whoa! This app is PG 13.
Kids can download this app. Hell yeah they can't. And we encourage them to know that they do. And that.
All the kids out there listening to RGS download that for the Tapper tracker. Do you have the outro on here too? I didn't really like. Where's the outro?
He's stuck in the Tapper tracker. It's his own fault if it's not in there honestly. Oh go up. I'm like gone good night.
Oh they're right. Perfect. Yeah. I'm gone.
Nice. Good job dude. That was a good hold. That was a good hold.
I thought it would be stuck there forever. Nice. Oh man. Oh.
Just running through all the classics. All the 15 people have never heard of it. Loving it. All in classic bit.
Doing it for the fans. Hell yeah. Some of whom are here this evening. Hell yeah.
What's next? Oh well. This is the only time we've ever organized an episode before. That's why these segues are weak as hell.
Normally we just sit at my literally. You know what good our segues are. You make fun of Justin. Oh yeah.
And every single week on the show or most weeks anyways we like to look at what's happening on television lately in the world of sports. And the second thing we call the clip of the week. And most of our clips of the week come from sports broadcasting play by play announcers who just drop comedy gold on us week after week. And every now and then you hear a clip that you know will go down maybe not in history, maybe not forever but at least for the 52 weeks in which it exists so that we can one day revisit it in the final show of the year where we recap our top 10 clips of the year.
And Stephanie I think you know exactly what clip I'm talking about. And from this week it was and just a wonderful clip that we'd like to hear again and again and again. And we can see it now too. We sure can.
Mod is on his way in. Stroke is on his way out pointing toward the heavens. We can only ask or wonder that he is asking some departed relative for forgiveness for this atrocious performance. I'll never get tired of this clip.
For those of you who heard me from the program we played that clip 10 times in a row on our top 10 count down of the clips of the year. Oh man. That was not the clip I was talking about. But by the way you might think that you never heard that before that's a playoff game.
That's a game in June. That's game 47 of 162. It could be the second game they played that day. And if you know what the score was only 2-2.
So I don't know what he did that was so bad that he was asking a departed relative for forgiveness. He gave up like a home run. Yeah maybe that's a one run home run. I guess.
I just apologize for it. Yeah you have to. I don't think you'd hope it would be like a Donald Trump apology that he just walks back the next day. Yeah I'm not really sorry but let's get on with it.
The thing is he planned that out though right. I don't think that was kind of just on the fly. He's like I'm going to make fun of this guy's dead parents. He like looked up right.
He's not like looking up when he was like what can I talk about. Oh yeah probably dead relatives. Because that's what you think for sure. We do have an actual clip.
Our actual clip of the week is not from the world of baseball. It is from the world of professional football. There is video here which I think only serves to really further pronounce what a great job this play by Playman did. This is I believe Kevin Harlan is a radio call.
It's a radio broadcaster because on television they're conditioned to never speak of these things. Never mention them cut away never show it but thanks to Kevin Harlan's radio call we know exactly what is happening here. 34 looks into the nickel over San Francisco in the secondary. A somebody is running out on the field.
Some goofball in a hat and a red shirt. Now he takes off the shirt. He's running down the middle by the 50. He's at the 30.
He's bare chested and banging his chest. Now he runs the opposite way. He runs to the 50. He runs to the 40.
The guy is drunk. But there he goes. The 20. They're chasing him.
They're not going to get him. Leaving his arms. The guy comes the blue coat. Here comes the blue coats.
When they tackle it at the 40 line. That was the most exciting thing to happen tonight. I tell you what. That was a great call.