#60 | School Social Work, Grief, & the Boundaries That Keep You in the Work - with Justin Martinez

One social worker. One campus. A hundred invisible fires.In this conversation, Justin Martinez, a Bay Area high school school social worker, assistant baseball coach, and facilitator of a young men’s group called “Are You Man Enough?”, breaks down what it really takes to support students with high needs without losing yourself in the process. Justin shares how his own story (foster care, domestic violence, and becoming a first-gen graduate) shaped his purpose, what he keeps behind the “leader” mask, and why the hardest lesson for helpers is also the most freeing: you can’t save anyone… but you can hand them the keys.Listen and apply these takeaways to your school:The “crown” mask: what it looks like to be the steady leader at school, mentor, role model, coach, while carrying grief and pressure underneathCountertransference in real life: how to notice when a student’s story hits your own… and not let it bleed into the relationshipTwo lenses, one campus: why wellness teams and disciplinary systems clash, and how students pay the price when adults aren’t aligned“I can’t save anyone” isn’t cold, it’s a boundary: how over-functioning creates burnout (and attaches your worth to outcomes you can’t control)The keys metaphor: “I can walk you to the door and hand you the keys… but you have to open it.”What school social workers actually do: wellness check-ins, crisis triage, re-regulation spaces, risk assessments, referrals, and constant problem-solvingAccountability with care: holding young men to a higher standard without talking down to themReal strength includes rest: the crown is heavy… and strong men still take it off(0:00) Class in session + meet Justin Martinez(2:38) Justin’s story: foster care due to domestic violence + becoming a first-gen grad to return and be what he needed(10:10) Behind Justin’s mask: grief, countertransference, walking on eggshells, inequity, targeted students, and “I can’t save anyone”(15:10) “I can’t save anyone” + the keys/door framework (resources, boundaries, and surrendering outcomes)(20:50) Learning the boundary the hard way: wanting to “fix” a family’s crisis and hitting system limits(27:31) A day in school social work: QR code referrals, wellness check-ins, re-regulation room, crisis calls, risk assessments(33:14) Biggest challenge: collaborating with staff when lenses don’t match—and harmful narratives about students persist(36:10) Why schools need more men in wellness roles: impact, mentorship, emotional modeling(38:57) What young men are facing: accountability, consequences, pressure, and future-focus conversations(43:35) Closing question: “How heavy is that crown?” + grief, family weight, and learning when to take it offConnect with Justin MartinezInstagram: @just_in_tiime_Join/Contribute to our Young Men’s Conference: https://everforwardclub.orgJoin our Skool Community: https://www.skool.com/efc-young-mens-advocates-2345Submit Questions, Reflections, or Episode IdeasEmail us: [email protected] your mask anonymously: https://millionmask.org/Connect with Ashanti BranchInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/branchspeaks/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BranchSpeaksX: https://x.com/BranchSpeaksLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashantibranch/Website: https://www.branchspeaks.com/Support the Podcast & Ever Forward ClubHelp us continue creating spaces for young men to be seen, heard, and supported:https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/branch-speaks/supportConnect with Ever Forward ClubInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/everforwardclubFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/everforwardclubX: https://x.com/everforwardclubLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-ever-forward-club/#unmaskingwithmaleeducators #millionmaskmovement #takingoffthemask #totm #schoolsocialwork #studentwellness #teacherretention #mentorship #mensmentalhealth #emotionalwellness #restisstrength #youthadvocacy