63: Marital jealousy, Distancing yourself, Self-limiting beliefs,and more...

Question we will try to get to: 1. Is the concept of self limiting beliefs the same as ego traps in evo psych? Why do these occur? 2.  My boyfriend and I are very nice people (very agreeable). Frustrating and funny at the same time. We have a problem figuring out what we want, since our first reaction is to please other people. But because we are not alone in the world, what happens a lot is that our decisions are made by others... We decided to try to have a baby. There is simply so much written and said on how to raise a child and even what's best for pregnant women. I'm panicking even just by looking down this hole. Since we are both highly conscientious  as well, I'm afraid of falling into "read everything, talk to everyone, worry about advice that don't go well together and try to find the perfect solution".  Your last  shows sort of comforted me. If almost everything is in the genes, then I don't have to worry as much about bringing up a small child. So my two questions would be: Do you have any special advice for the first time parents?  Do you have any sort of suggestions for dealing with relatives, friends, acquaintances for two agreeable parents like us? 3. How does Evo Psych examine dictators, group compliance & control, etc. through an evolutionary lens? Figures like Stalin, Hitler, Jim Jones, Chares Manson come to mind to name a few. Also, how would something like the door-in-the-face technique be explained through Ev. Psych?  4. In my circle of friends and family, it seems to me that those who identify as "Dog" people are skewed on the disagreeable side of the bell curve. While "Cat" people, are heavily skewed on the agreeable side of the curve. Is there any truth to this Cat/Dog person comparison, or is it a gross generalization?