64: Breaking Down Barriers: Overcoming Challenges in Sexual Intimacy with Rhoda Sommer

Welcome to episode "64: Breaking Down Barriers: Overcoming Challenges in Sexual Intimacy with Rhoda Sommer." Our sex lives are too easy to leave behind. It’s so easy to  make excuses & dismiss opportunity with “I’m too tired.”  Going without sex for long periods of time creates feelings  of hurt and rejection that pile up to destroy connectedness. If a couple is unable to talk about sex then negative assumptions are silently stashed.  Sexual pleasure separates a couple from their children and being parents. It’s an important part of being a couple. Too often families have fun and pleasure together only as a  family. Every couple needs to find pleasure together in the erotic world too. Research was reported in March 2019 that 'Sexual  Activity is Associated with Greater Enjoyment of Life in  Older Adults' in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. In the  2020 Volume 49 of the Archives of Sexual Behavior a  2019 study of people over 50 that a lack of sexual activity  and function among older adults is linked to poorer health outcomes, including cancer and coronary heart disease.  In 2015 there was a study out of Indiana University at their  Center for Sexual Health Promotion: Results revealed  that intercourse alone was not enough for women to reach an orgasm.  Their research revealed that around 18 percent of can  reach their orgasm during vaginal intercourse alone. Over  one third of women – 36 percent – reported that they  preferred clitoral stimulation to reach their peak. Another  36 percent women said the clitoral stimulation served to  enhance their experience of vaginal intercourse. Despite  this many women fake an orgasm during penetrative  intercourse.  The Center also reported that better orgasms are reported  in cases when more time is spent on foreplay or arousal.  “Emotional intimacy” and “clitoral stimulation” seem to be  the key words she said. Orgasm is clearly dependent on  how stressed women are….and 41 percent of the surveyed women preferred one type of touch to reach their orgasms. Clearly this shows how important it is for partners to know what their women want and to  communicate.   Katie and Rhoda discuss: The all too ordinary cycle of  sexual avoidance and sexual rejection Ways to go about addressing and breaking this cycle Why so many couples avoid talking about sex or get  into trouble when they do try to talk about it.  Ways to embrace greater authenticity in sexual intimacy  How to balance hectic life of parenting or a long  term relationship that has gotten stale How emotional intimacy is a foundational building  block for sexual desire What "adequate foreplay" really means What can individuals do to improve their self care that  could improve sexual intimacy   Rhoda Sommer is an LCSW. Check her out: Blog & Website: therapyideas.netTwitter & Instagram: @rhodaoncouplesShe hosts the podcast: What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't Katie Ziskind, the host of "All Things Love and Intimacy," is a sex positive, LGBTQIA+, queer affirming relationship coach, certified sex therapy informed professional, and Gottman level two trained marriage specialist. Her mission is to help you feel more comfortable talking about emotional expression, gain emotional intimacy skills, and feel confident talking about your sexual needs, sexual expectations, erotic desires, and fantasies with your partner or partners. Katie Ziskind loves helping couples break cycles of emotional distance and sexual avoidance, and develop emotional connection and rebuild sexual desire and sexual intimacy.  You can build an emotionally secure, loving, playful, and passionate bond and healthy sex life by working with her at WisdomWithinCt.com. This episode is no replacement for seeking professional help.