643: Recognizing the Cycle of Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships

Do you struggle with your relationship with your mother? Today, I'm talking to Khara Crosswaite Brindle. We explored mother-daughter estrangement and the process of healing from toxic relationships. We discussed her book on ruptured mother-daughter bonds and the common cycle of estrangement that includes questioning the relationship, potential relationship ruptures, and stages of grief, self-discovery, and redefining self-worth. We both shared personal experiences of emotionally unavailable mothers and the impact this had on their sense of self. They described struggles with people-pleasing, perfectionism, and boundary-setting due to a lack of modeling in childhood.   Questions I asked: o   Where about do you live on the planet? o   Do you go to the gym now? o   What brought you into talking about Mother Daughter estrangement? o   What assumptions about estrangement need to be dispelled? o   What social stigmas are attached to this mother daughter estrangement? o   What would you speak to women today that have gone through something like that? So they can understand their value? o   How does one put boundaries in place when I may not even know what they should be? o   How do you realize you're worthy of these boundaries? o   What's what would you say, separates these stages in the parental estrangement experience? o   What separates the stages in the parental estrangement experience according to Kara's model? o   What social stigmas are attached to mother-daughter estrangement? o   What would you tell women today who have gone through abandonment by their mothers to help them understand their value? o   How do people stop people-pleasing to your own detriment? o   What is the name of Kara's book and where can people find it?     Topics Discussed: - Mother-daughter estrangement and the estrangement cycle - Impacts of emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, and abusive mothers - Intergenerational patterns of trauma and their effects - Struggles with self-worth, perfectionism, people-pleasing due to childhood experiences - Grieving the loss of an idealized mother-daughter relationship - Stages of healing from estrangement, including grief, self-discovery, and redefining self-worth - Importance of setting boundaries and distinguishing emotional vs. physical estrangement  - Societal pressures and stigma surrounding estrangement decisions - Role of community and therapy in healing from childhood trauma - Insights and strategies shared from Kara Cross's book on ruptured mother-daughter relationships     Quotes from the show: ·      "No daughter that I've worked with was like, this is fun for me. In fact, they're usually in grief and loss, they're usually in pain." @optivida @SisterhoodSweat ·      "This book felt like a love letter to adult daughters who didn't feel the same. @optivida @SisterhoodSweat ·      "Most of the people I work with are women of all different backgrounds, all the way from like 19 years old to like 65." @optivida  @SisterhoodSweat ·      "I was noticing a pattern where these women would come in with trauma, but they'd also have other relationship stressors, and life stuff." @optivida @SisterhoodSweat     How you can stay in touch with Khara: ·      Schedule with me for a Professional Consultation or Discovery Call ·      Am I a Perfectioneur? A Quiz! ·      Grow Your Business with Perfectioneur Pointers ·      Ready for the Perfectioneur Workbook? ·      Join the Perfectioneur community! ·      Khara is author of Amazon #1 Best Seller Perfectioneur: From Workaholic to Well-Balanced and co-author of The Empowerment Model of Clinical Supervision available at Amazon.com ·      All services: croswaitecounselingpllc.com       How you can stay in touch with Linda: Website Facebook Twitter Instagram Pinterest YouTube SoundCloud   "Proud Sponsors of the Sisterhood of S.W.E.A.T" Essential Formulas