#66 Identifying What's Happening Inside

Today, I interview Dr. John Gray. In John's family there were lots of siblings, and there was lots of love. However, his mother clearly had a sweet spot for John and favored him a little. In turn, his siblings expressed their jealousy by picking on and torturing him. He learned to stay alert, but this meant he was always on edge and quite afraid. John's fear wasn't really recognized or discussed in his family until a concerned aunt pointed it out to him when he was still pretty young. So he became aware that he had an issue with fear but didn't yet understand how to work through it. John felt very loved by his parents. He says that by the time he came along, his parents realized that things like spankings and other punishments hadn't worked on his older siblings. They decided not to punish him in the same way and just to "leave him in the hands of God." This added to the growing jealousy of his siblings, and their anger was another source of intimidation, keeping John from building - or even using - his voice. On the other hand, John's mother supported all of his ideas and encouraged him to keep learning and figuring out life. She would later add a wing onto her bookstore to house and sell all of the books he would write. At the age of 19, John became the youngest teacher of Transcendental Meditation. During his first lecture, he was so nervous he fainted. But he was so passionate about TM, he decided to keep working at it, trying to overcome his anxiety. Then he found Improv. Instead of focusing on a speech and feeling like everyone was there to judge any misstep, he felt like a cloud lifted when his improv peers supported him and cheered him on for his creativity. In this welcome and safe space, he was able to begin to release his fears and move forward. Today, his thoughts and ideas are known internationally, and his voice has changed the lives of thousands. _________ Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Our Complex Modern World. His Mars/Venus book series has changed the way men and women view their relationships. John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness, and romance. His many books, blogs, and free online workshops at MarsVenus.com provide practical insights to improve relationships at all stages of life and love. An advocate of health and optimal brain function, he also provides natural solutions for overcoming depression, anxiety, and stress to support increased energy, libido, hormonal balance, and better sleep. He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, and others. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. He was also the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. John Gray lives in Northern California where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. Find John here: https://www.marsvenus.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/marsvenus/ https://www.facebook.com/Mars.Venus.John.Gray https://www.instagram.com/johngraymarsvenus_official/ https://twitter.com/MarsVenus ______________I'm your podcast host, Dr. Doreen Downing, and I help people find their voice so they can overcome anxiety, be confident, and speak without fear. Get started now on your journey to your authentic voice by downloading my Free 7 Step Guide to Fearless Speaking: https://www.doreen7steps.com.Support the showI’m Dr. Doreen Downing and I help people find their voice so they can speak without fear. Get the Free 7-Step Guide to Fearless Speaking https://www.doreen7steps.com​.