68: The Brutal Truth About Relationship Conflict--and What to Do About It

Ellen Dorian discusses strategies for managing conflict in relationships, introducing the concept of "passionate problem solving" as an alternative to cold war and hot war conflict styles. She outlines two pathways: early intervention and radical repair, drawing inspiration from kink and BDSM protocols and Japanese apology frameworks.Part 1: Understanding Conflict and Early Intervention- Esther Perel's three categories of conflict: power and control, respect and recognition, care and closeness- Recognizing personal "tells" that signal emotional escalation- Implementing kink-inspired protocols: safe words, negotiated agreements, and aftercarePart 2: Radical Repair for Full-Blown Conflicts- Step-by-step process for addressing conflicts after they've escalated- Naming the hurt, reflecting back, owning responsibility, and offering a radical apology- Reaffirming connection and attacking the problem, not each otherPart 3: Applying Passionate Problem Solving- Factors influencing success: meaning gap, relationship foundation, and personal skills- Importance of practice and commitment to transform conflict handling- Encouragement to seek outside help when neededKey Takeaways:- Early intervention focuses on self-control, not partner control- Repair matters more than being right in conflicts- Always attack the problem, not each other- Passionate problem solving requires practice and disciplineCall to Action:Ellen encourages listeners to book a free Relationship Reset call, join the Passionate Partners Insider community on Facebook, and spread the word about the Make More Love podcast.Closing Thoughts:Passionate problem solving is not a quick fix but can transform how couples handle conflict when practiced consistently.Support & Resources:Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.All links can be found below."Until next time, remember, 'What I want most in the world is for you to Make More Love With Your Wife and In Your Life.'" - Ellen DorianDisclaimer:The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only, and reflects the personal opinions and experiences of the host and guests. It is not a substitute for professional advice or guidance in specific situations.Make More Love Show Website: www.makemorelove.showParent Company - The Passionate Partners Project: www.passionatepartnersproject.comJoin Our Passionate Partners Insider Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/682764239165105Contact Me Directly: Email: [email protected] direct message me via social media:Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/ellen.dorian.7/LinkedIn:    https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellendorian/Take the free Relationship Dynamics Quiz: http://makemorelove.show/quizSet up a Free Relationship Reset Call with me:http://relationshipresetcall.com