#7 Being Picky

You’re listening to mornings with Mary where I share everyday thoughts about everyday things before my second cup of coffee. [[coffee machine noise]] This one goes out to all the picky eaters the divas and the villains. After we moved, my partner and I were invited to dinner at a new friend’s house. We were talking about preferences and I mentioned how I’m picky about lots of different things as justification for my likes and dislikes. This woman immediately looked at my partner and said, “Well, you must be very special then.” I was shocked. My entire life, my pickiness was always seen as a problem. It was something I needed to get around or get over. Never was it perceived like a gift, like an achievement. This happened over a year ago, and I still think about it. I feel like I’m finally allowing myself to feel that confidence. Why does having a strong preference make us such a target? I think people like you better when your preferences are the same as theirs; because the second your preference affects someone else, there’s now a choice. You can let them believe a lie, or you can tell them your truth. I’m learning that the truth at least gives me ground to stand on, because hiding what I don’t want doesn’t make me want it less. I made sure that if someone was going to be uncomfortable, it was going to be me, to keep their peace. Telling the truth might create an uncomfortable moment or two, but lying about it can create a much more dramatic problem later. I’m learning that keeping someone else comfortable is not more important than being honest about my own experiences. [[coffee machine beeping]] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mhonline.substack.com