712: Preparation WTF

The internet's still broken, folks, and apparently, AI's here to make it more awkward. Intel caught a break from Uncle Sam's CHIPS Act, cool for them, not so much for those 'flashing warning signs' in the job market. Meta's been letting celebrity chatbots run wild (and creepy), Midjourney's getting sued by Warner Bros. for stealing IP (who'da thought?), and OpenAI thinks an AI hiring platform is a good idea. Plus, an AI chatbot automated a cybercrime spree, totally unexpected. If you're calling ChatGPT a 'clanker,' you're not wrong, but seriously? Your butt probably needs a break from the toilet.Elon Musk and his joyride of companies continue to make us wonder if we're living in a dystopian satire. Tesla got slapped with a $243 million verdict after rejecting a $60 million settlement (because that's how you make deals, right?). 'Key data' they said they didn't have? A hacker found it. His vague 'master plan' sounds like a last-minute college essay, and software deploys airbags before you crash. His quest for a trillion-dollar pay package is on, and Neuralink can't even trademark 'telepathy.' They're doing brain surgeries in Toronto now. What could go wrong?On the lighter side, Finland built a giant sand battery, which is cool, and iOS 26 finally gave iPads a native Instagram app after, like, forever. We've got movie reviews, TV binges (Wednesday is really good), and a deep dive into KPop Demon Hunters (seriously, listen to the songs). FIFA's jacking up World Cup ticket prices with dynamic pricing (of course they are), and Morrissey's selling his stake in The Smiths (probably to escape his own 'malicious associations'). If you're still reading Usenet threads from '94, you're either a sadist or Dave.Sponsors:CleanMyMac - clnmy.com/Grumpyoldgeeks - Use code OLDGEEKS for 20% off.Private Internet Access - Go to GOG.Show/vpn and sign up today. For a limited time only, you can get OUR favorite VPN for as little as $2.03 a month.SetApp - With a single monthly subscription you get 240+ apps for your Mac. Go to SetApp and get started today!!!1Password - Get a great deal on the only password manager recommended by Grumpy Old Geeks! gog.show/1passwordShow notes at https://gog.show/712FOLLOW UPThe US government drops its CHIPS Act requirements for IntelAmerica’s job market flashes yet another warning sign about the economyHydrogen-Powered Plasma Torch Decimates Plastic Waste in a BlinkYour Butthole Is Begging You to Stop Scrolling on the ToiletIN THE NEWSTesla rejected $60 million settlement before losing $243 million Autopilot verdictTesla said it didn’t have key data in a fatal crash. Then a hacker found it.Tesla has a new master plan—it just doesn’t have any specificsTesla Software Update Will Deploy Airbags Before Crash Actually HappensTrump to host tech CEOs for first event in newly renovated Rose GardenTesla proposes Elon Musk pay package that could make him the world’s first trillionaireTesla shareholders to vote on investing in Musk’s AI startup xAIMeta reportedly allowed unauthorized celebrity AI chatbots on its servicesWarner Bros. Discovery is suing Midjourney for copyright infringementOpenAI announces AI-powered hiring platform to take on LinkedInOpenAI is reportedly producing its own AI chips starting next yearA hacker used AI to automate an 'unprecedented' cybercrime spree, Anthropic saysThe world's largest sand battery just went live in FinlandWhy the Internet Can’t Stop Calling ChatGPT a “Clanker”MEDIA CANDYThe Thursday Murder ClubWeaponsAlien: EarthWednesdayStar Trek: Strange New Worlds - Four and a Half VulcansUploadKPop Demon Hunters - revisited2026 World Cup tickets: FIFA confirms use of dynamic pricingExhausted by "malicious associations," Morrissey sells stake in The SmithsAPPS & DOODADSMarshall’s Mid-Century-Looking Soundbar Would Make Don Draper Cry Tears of JoyWho Owns ‘Telepathy’?Instagram finally has an iPad app 15 years after it first launchedRoblox will require age verification for all users to access communication featuressuperwhisperiOS 26 adds seven brand new iPhone ringtones, listen hereTHE DARK SIDE WITH DAVEDave BittnerThe CyberWireHacking HumansCaveatControl LoopOnly Malware in the BuildingHot sauce and hot takes: An Only Malware in the Building special.My comments on a Usenet thread from 1994Darth Vader’s Lightsaber Auction Sale Sets Record for ‘Star Wars’ ItemHome Depot R2D2Disney Disney Star Wars Animated Darth VaderFlorida plans to end all state vaccine mandates, including for schoolsVibeVoice: A Frontier Long Conversational Text-to-Speech ModelRumor: There’s A New ‘The Muppet Show’ PilotSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.