719: Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship | ToolBox

In this episode, AJ and Johnny speak on the importance of “emotional bids,” and how to successfully identify and respond to them to create a deeper connection with the people around you. We start with a look at the clinical researcher, Dr. John Gottman and the study he conducted that helped define what an emotional bid is and why it is so important. Then, AJ and Johnny describe how we can positively or negatively respond to a whole array of emotional bids – and how that can make or break a relationship. We also learn how you don’t have to tell all of your deepest and darkest secrets to feel like someone truly understands you. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR * What is the simplest way to show vulnerability to someone we’re trying to connect with? * Are emotional bids always easy to spot? * How can you be more actively present in your relationships? * In the moments after you put down your phone, are you truly disconnected from it? * What is “turning towards”, and how can you create more of these positive interactions in your life? * What is one of the most important ways to connect yourself to someone else’s emotional bid? NOTES ON DR. JOHN GOTTMAN By watching a couple interact for just 3 minutes, Dr. John Gottman could predict with up to 94 percent certainty whether the couple would eventually separate, remain unhappy, or continue as a happily couple for several years. AJ and Johnny share examples of their own lives to better understand how vital emotional bids are in connecting with others and in creating value in a relationship. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Search free scholarships, browse course reviews, get 24/7 study help and rent textbooks for a fraction of the cost of your bookstore – all in one big education-redefining student hub. For $5 off your first month’s subscription, go to chegg.com/charm and use promo code CHARM Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal development training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp / theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp RESOURCES Dr. John Gottman’s 1999 study on couples www.gottman.com/about/research/couples/ KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !! ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices