729: Alright Alright Alright™

We kick things off with the existential dread of FOLLOW UP and the absolute joy of jury duty. While xAI’s Grok is busy getting banned in Malaysia and Indonesia for its CSAM-generating "features," the Senate is unanimously passing the DEFIANCE Act to give us some legal teeth against the deepfake machine. Meta is busy nuking 550,000 Australian accounts to appease regulators, while Roblox’s age verification is so broken that a drawing of stubble or a photo of Kurt Cobain can get you into the adult lounge. Moving IN THE NEWS, Meta is trading its $70 billion Metaverse graveyard for a Reality Labs layoff and a pivot to AI hardware, fueled by an "AI infrastructure" buildout that’s hiring former Trump advisors. Bandcamp is heroically banning AI "slop," Matthew McConaughey is trademarking his own face to fend off the bots, and ICE’s AI hiring tool is such a disaster it’s accidentally fast-tracking mall security as "officers." Between self-help gurus charging $99 for chatbot "advice," GM finally settling its driver-spying suit with the FTC, and NASA prepping for a February moon shot while China plans to launch 200,000 satellites into our already crowded orbit, the future looks exactly as messy as we expected.For MEDIA CANDY, we’ve got Lord of the Rings marathons, the diner-bridge of Starfleet Academy, and the usual joy of streaming price hikes hitting our "Premium" plans. We’re tracking the 2025 "In Memoriam" and Gabriel Pagan’s exhaustive movie list before sliding into APPS & DOODADS. Jony Ive and Sam Altman are reportedly building an hearing aide called "Sweetpea" to kill your AirPods, Siri is officially Google Gemini’s new puppet, and Apple is finally bundling its creative apps into a "Creator Studio" subscription trap. Tesla is making Full Self-Driving a subscription-only Valentine’s gift (good luck with that), Ring is rebranding surveillance as a "fire-watching" assistant, and a Chinese app called "Are You Dead?" is the new must-have for the lonely. To cap it off, the internet proved its maturity by using "Words.zip"—an infinite word-search grid—to draw a giant phallus, because of course they did.AT THE LIBRARY features the Anthony Bourdain Reader, the return of Bob in the new Laundry Files book, and Jimmy Carr’s guide to happiness, which is apparently cheaper than therapy. Then we descend into THE DARK SIDE WITH DAVE, where the dishwasher-installing, ham-radio-lunching Dave Bittner reveals Disney World has job openings for those of us who spent high school in the AV club. Lucasfilm is finally entering a new era as Kathleen Kennedy steps down, just as Galaxy’s Edge admits the original trilogy exists, and we wrap it all up with lock-picking kits and the terrifying realization that Seymour from H.R. 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Go to SetApp and get started today!!!1Password - Get a great deal on the only password manager recommended by Grumpy Old Geeks! gog.show/1passwordShow notes at https://gog.show/729Watch on YouTube! https://youtu.be/1Y1jnRDw7g0FOLLOW UPMalaysia and Indonesia are the first to block Grok following CSAM scandalSenate passes Defiance Act for a second time to address Grok deepfakesMeta closes 550,000 accounts to comply with Australia's kids social media banRoblox's age verification system is reportedly a trainwreckIN THE NEWSMeta refocuses on AI hardware as metaverse layoffs beginMeta’s Layoffs Leave Supernatural Fitness Users in MourningMeta Creates High-Powered Team to Oversee AI Infrastructure BuildoutBandcamp prohibits music made ‘wholly or in substantial part’ by AIMatthew McConaughey fights unauthorized AI likenesses by trademarking himselfICE’s AI Tool Has Been a Complete DisasterSelf-Help Ghouls Are Charging People Absurd Prices to Talk to Impersonator ChatbotsThe FTC's data-sharing order against GM is finally settledNASA is ending Crew-11 astronauts' mission a month earlyNASA makes final preparations for its first crewed moon mission in over 50 yearsAs SpaceX Works Toward 50K Starlink Satellites, China Eyes Deploying 200KMEDIA CANDYBeast Games Season 2Star Trek: Starfleet AcademyGrumpy Old ListThe Ongoing History of New Music, episode 1069: 2025 in MemoriamDepeche Mode: MAPPS & DOODADSJony Ive and Sam Altman’s First AI Gadget May Try to Kill AirPodsApple's Siri AI will be powered by GeminiApple’s Mac and iPad creative apps get bundled into “Creator Studio” subscriptionTesla's Full Self-Driving is switching to a subscription-only serviceRing founder details the camera company's 'intelligent assistant' eraAre You Dead?: The viral Chinese app for young people living aloneGive the Internet an Infinite Word Search and the Internet Will Draw a Dick on ItAT THE LIBRARYThe Anthony Bourdain Reader: New, Classic, and Rediscovered Writing by Anthony BourdainObvious Adams: The Story of a Successful Businessman by Robert UpdegraffBefore & Laughter by Jimmy CarrThe Regicide Report (Laundry Files, 14) by Charles StrossTHE DARK SIDE WITH DAVEDave BittnerThe CyberWireHacking HumansCaveatControl LoopOnly Malware in the BuildingHow to Read a Book: A Novel by Monica WoodWalt Disney World Resort is looking for Entertainment Stage TechniciansGalaxy’s Edge Will Soon Cover All Eras of ‘Star Wars’Kathleen Kennedy steps down as Lucasfilm president, marking a new era for the Star Wars franchiseSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.