73: Fears of Abandonment and Emotionally Vulnerability To Break Conflict Cycles

In episode, "73: Fears of Abandonment and Emotionally Vulnerability To Break Conflict Cycles" of the "All Things Love and Intimacy," podcast, Katie Ziskind shares ways and skills to support a strong, healthy, and thriving couple bubble and marriage. When you are in conflict, it means you deeply love and care about each other. Anger is a common emotion in cycles of conflict and disconnection. Expressing anger in a loud, critical way or shutting down and giving the silent treatment creates martial disconnection and distance. Underneath anger are a variety of emotions, "core emotions," that Katie Ziskind, certified sex therapy informed professional, Gottman level two marriage therapist, and relationship coach, encourages you to communicate your deeper emotions to your partner. Instead of getting harsh, snappy, or irritable - For instance, "I am afraid of abandonment, that you'll find someone else, this is really hard for me," or, "I feel ignored, unwanted, and this is really painful for me." In this episode, Katie Ziskind encourages you both to share fears, worries, and concerns, such as, "I am afraid I will keep making the same mistake, and that I can't make you happy anymore. I feel hopeless," rather than yelling or emotionally avoiding conflict. There may be problems in your marriage that you won't necessarily be able to solve or fix. Rather than trying to solve these, frustrated or annoyed, the healthiest couples talk about these perpetual problems and reoccurring augments kindly, respectfully, nurture each other, and talk routinely in a way that supports emotional safety and connection. Fears of abandonment related to past trauma experiences are held within your marriage and talking about these fears is part of having a strong and healthy couple bubble. Katie Ziskind is a sex positive, LGBTQIA+, queer affirming relationship coach, certified sex therapy informed professional, and Gottman level two trained marriage specialist. The “All Things Love and Intimacy” podcast is intended to help you feel more comfortable talking about emotional expression, gain emotional intimacy skills, and feel confident talking about your sexual needs, sexual expectations, erotic desires, and fantasies with your partner or partners. Katie Ziskind loves helping couples break cycles of emotional distance and sexual avoidance, and develop emotional connection and rebuild sexual desire and sexual intimacy. She would love to help you in sex positive, relationship coaching sessions.  You can build an emotionally secure, loving, playful, and passionate bond and healthy sex life by working with her at WisdomWithinCt.com. This episode is no replacement for seeking professional help.