EPISODE · Mar 6, 2023 · 31 MIN
734: What to Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Want to Grow
from Shameless Leadership · host Sara Dean
As I’ve worked with women through growth and transformation over the last 20 years, I’ve had countless conversations about partners & spouses who, “just don’t get it.” Back when I was working with my personal training clients and boot camp members, women would come to be fraught about spending money without their husband’s approval. When I started running programs inside the SMA, moms came to me so eager to participate but very uncomfortable about talking to their husbands about investing money in an online program with a coach they met on the internet, especially a coach selling “personal development for moms”. I totally understand that it can be awkward to work on goals that aren’t connected to your partner, especially if you haven’t done that before. And… if that’s you, I want to invite you to consider why you haven’t taken steps to work on yourself independently in the past? Not from a place of judgment, but from a place of genuine curiosity. As I’ve helped so many women show up for themselves and step into growth over the last 20 years, I’ve also seen the frustration that comes when you are growing, growing, growing, and hoping your partner will follow suit, and they’re like, “Nah, I’m good.” There can be a decent amount of tension when partners are growing in different directions or one partner is committed to growth and the other is not. As you’ve become more Shameless as a listener of this show, perhaps you’ve wondered, “How do I encourage my partner to make some of the changes I’ve made?” In today’s episode, I talk through this tension. The tension of becoming more autonomous. The tension of codependency. The tension of doing your own work and letting a partner decide on their own what work they do or don’t do. Thank you to our sponsors this month: care.com: Get the help you need to make it all work for your family at care.com/book. Hello Fresh: Get farm-fresh, pre-portioned meals delivered right to your door! Go to HelloFresh.com/shameless65 and use code shameless65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Last Bottle Wines: Get 10% off your order when you use the code SHAMELESS at lastbottlewines.com. Luvbuglearning.com: Support your child’s social-emotional learning with the world's first social-emotional gaming platform. Go to Luvbuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the APP store and subscribe. Ritual: Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/shameless10 to start Ritual or add Essential for Women 18+ to your subscription today. Rothys: For stylish, comfortable, sustainably made shoes, shop Rothy’s. Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/SHAMELESSMOM. StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast!: Need another podcast in your parenting podcast library, check out StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast! wherever you listen to the SMA. Train Her Game - Free Training: Moms of teen daughter athletes! Help your daughter build confidence and overcome negative mindsets in athletics by attending this free training offered by Breanne Smedley, Host of the Elite Competitor Podcast: https://trainhergame.com/shameless Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
What this episode covers
As I’ve worked with women through growth and transformation over the last 20 years, I’ve had countless conversations about partners & spouses who, “just don’t get it.” Back when I was working with my personal training clients and boot camp members, women would come to be fraught about spending money without their husband’s approval. When I started running programs inside the SMA, moms came to me so eager to participate but very uncomfortable about talking to their husbands about investing money in an online program with a coach they met on the internet, especially a coach selling “personal development for moms”. I totally understand that it can be awkward to work on goals that aren’t connected to your partner, especially if you haven’t done that before. And… if that’s you, I want to invite you to consider why you haven’t taken steps to work on yourself independently in the past? Not from a place of judgment, but from a place of genuine curiosity. As I’ve helped so many women show up for themselves and step into growth over the last 20 years, I’ve also seen the frustration that comes when you are growing, growing, growing, and hoping your partner will follow suit, and they’re like, “Nah, I’m good.” There can be a decent amount of tension when partners are growing in different directions or one partner is committed to growth and the other is not. As you’ve become more Shameless as a listener of this show, perhaps you’ve wondered, “How do I encourage my partner to make some of the changes I’ve made?” In today’s episode, I talk through this tension. The tension of becoming more autonomous. The tension of codependency. The tension of doing your own work and letting a partner decide on their own what work they do or don’t do. Thank you to our sponsors this month: care.com: Get the help you need to make it all work for your family at care.com/book. Hello Fresh: Get farm-fresh, pre-portioned meals delivered right to your door! Go to HelloFresh.com/shameless65 and use code shameless65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Last Bottle Wines: Get 10% off your order when you use the code SHAMELESS at lastbottlewines.com. Luvbuglearning.com: Support your child’s social-emotional learning with the world's first social-emotional gaming platform. Go to Luvbuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the APP store and subscribe. Ritual: Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/shameless10 to start Ritual or add Essential for Women 18+ to your subscription today. Rothys: For stylish, comfortable, sustainably made shoes, shop Rothy’s. Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/SHAMELESSMOM. StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast!: Need another podcast in your parenting podcast library, check out StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast! wherever you listen to the SMA. Train Her Game - Free Training: Moms of teen daughter athletes! Help your daughter build confidence and overcome negative mindsets in athletics by attending this free training offered by Breanne Smedley, Host of the Elite Competitor Podcast: https://trainhergame.com/shameless Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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734: What to Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Want to Grow
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