#743: Disciplining or Naming

Are you disciplining your son, or are you naming him? Many parents are guilty of using phrases like this with our son: “You are so messy” or “You are so disrespectful to me.” But family therapist David Thomas reminds us that, to our boy, it may sound like we are “naming” him. And hearing those phrases can lead a boy to believe that he is simply a messy or disrespectful person. Instead, David suggests reframing the situation by saying: “Son, I’ve noticed you’re stuck in a pattern of disrespect.” That way, it’s possible to address the negative behaviors, but we aren’t accidentally giving our son a “name” he may attach to his identity. He may behave badly, but his behavior doesn’t define who he is. For more ideas on raising boys to be godly men, visit Trail Life USA or RaisingGodlyBoys.com.