747: Why We Sigh

FOLLOW UP: This week, it seems America believes every complicated social problem can be fixed by asking, “Have you tried turning the internet off for the children?” Meanwhile, the Electronic Frontier Foundation quietly notes that the science behind social media bans might not be as clear-cut as cable-news dads screaming about dopamine loops claim. Turns out, teen anxiety may also be linked to pandemics, school shootings, climate dread, and an economy that feels like a Fallout side quest. Meanwhile, Snap Inc. and YouTube settled another lawsuit accusing their apps of turning kids into doomscrolling goblins, Meta continues to insist social media addiction isn’t real while losing money in court, and former Google CEO Eric Schmidt was booed at a graduation speech after telling graduates to hop on the AI rocket ship without asking questions — exactly what a billionaire says when he already owns the rocket.In the news, Elon Musk lost another OpenAI lawsuit because apparently even juries have limits. SpaceX’s IPO revealed Musk plans to power AI with enough gas turbines to recreate 1890s London smog, and Grok officially became a disclosure liability after the whole “MechaHitler” incident. Tesla robotaxis still clip fences and occasionally require humans to remotely drive the “self-driving” cars. Trump Mobile somehow shipped a gold phone that actually works — a stunning upset — before immediately leaking customer data. LinkedIn finally admitted the platform has become an AI-generated motivational swamp filled with “it’s not about X, it’s about Y” sludge from people named Brayden. Spotify is handing out podcast verification badges so listeners can tell real creators from algorithmic nightmare fuel. Meta laid off thousands more workers while reportedly using employee surveillance to train AI replacements. And OpenAI is giving everyone in Malta a free year of ChatGPT Plus if they complete an AI literacy course, which honestly makes Malta sound more technologically responsible than Silicon Valley.APPS & DOODADS reflect classic Gen-X paranoia, as Backblaze highlights California's constant threat of wildfires and the idea that local backups are optimistic. YouTube introduced AI deepfake detection tools, allowing creators to finally see which scam ads are using their faces to promote crypto vitamins, while X limited free users to 50 posts a day unless they pay for a blue check — proving once again that the true free speech was the subscriptions we sold along the way. Retrocodex arrived with a strong “everything your teachers confidently told you in 1987 was wrong” vibe.MEDIA CANDY opens with the eternal cry of “FUCK THE FIRETV!!!!” before Jason taps out of Good Omens after ten minutes while Brian takes the bullet for the audience. There’s also chatter about Mortal Kombat 2, The Devil Wears Prada 2, Billy Corgan talking goth history with David J, and more existential dread courtesy of Dan Carlin’s Common Sense.THE DARK SIDE WITH DAVE welcomes back Dave Bittner for a Mando & Grogu review, Darth Maul, and a stunning but absurdly expensive LEGO Disneyland set. There’s also a guy who built a full-size Millennium Falcon “with his wife’s permission,” a fan-made Star Tours film, and the Federal Trade Commission discovering that those creepy “your phone is listening to you” ad-tech companies mainly just had PowerPoint decks and confidence. Also: mechanical keyboard simulators now exist, because apparently even fake typing has become a lifestyle brand.Sponsors:DeleteMe - Get 20% off your DeleteMe plan when you go to JoinDeleteMe.com/GOG and use promo code GOG at checkout.Shopify - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at Shopify.com/grumpyPrivate Internet Access - Go to GOG.Show/vpn and sign up today. For a limited time only, you can get OUR favorite VPN for as little as $2.03 a month.SetApp - With a single monthly subscription you get 240+ apps for your Mac. Go to SetApp and get started today!!!1Password - Get a great deal on the only password manager recommended by Grumpy Old Geeks! gog.show/1passwordShow notes at https://gog.show/747Watch on YouTube at https://youtu.be/eX5jVfewaswFOLLOW UPThe Science is Not Settled: How Weak Evidence is Fueling a National Push to Ban Social Media for YouthSnap and YouTube have reportedly settled another major social media addiction lawsuitEx-Google CEO Eric Schmidt Fails to Read Room on AI, Gets Booed into OblivionIN THE NEWSElon Musk took too long to sue OpenAI, jury unanimously agreesSpaceX IPO Filing Reveals Nearly $3 Billion Investment in Gas Turbines for AI Data Centers‘MechaHitler’ Is SpaceX’s Problem NowTrump Mobile Phone Beats Expectations by Actually ExistingNew crash data highlights the slow progress of Tesla's robotaxisIf You Used Insider Knowledge to Score Big on Polymarket, You May Now Be in Huge TroubleMinnesota passes prediction markets banLinkedIn doesn't want your AI slop anymoreSpotify is launching verification badges for podcasts to help listeners avoid AI slopZuckerberg Tells the Tattered Remainder of His Workers That He Won’t Conduct Another a Mass Firing for at Least Seven MonthsOpenAI is offering ChatGPT Plus to citizens of Malta for a yearMassive Crypto ATM Company Bitcoin Depot Is Shutting Down as the Whole Industry Collapses‘Smoke Weed and Earn Bitcoin’ With This Vape Pen in Our Increasingly Dystopian Nightmare‘Unstoppable’ Crypto Exchange Halts Trading After $10 Million TheftIran Doubles Down on Bitcoin for Ships Passing Through the Straight of HormuzTrump-Linked Crypto Company Notes 'Substantial Doubt' It Can Survive Another 12 MonthsAPPS & DOODADSBackblazeYouTube's AI deepfake detection tool is now available to all creators 18 and olderX accounts are limited to 50 posts and 200 replies a day unless they pay for a blue checkmarkRetrocodexMEDIA CANDYGood Omens Season 3 - The FinaleThe Magnificent Others with Billy Corgan - David J of Bauhaus & Love & RocketsCommon Sense 326 – The Water in Which We SwimTHE DARK SIDE WITH DAVEDave BittnerThe CyberWireHacking HumansCaveatControl LoopOnly Malware in the BuildingMaul: Shadow LordRogue One: A Star Wars StoryNot Even Baby Yoda Can Save ‘Star Wars’Colorado man creates replica Millenium FalconSomeone made a Star Tours fan film.Bring Disneyland Home With This Gorgeous New Lego Set‘Creepy’ Listening Tool for Targeted Ads Didn’t Actually Work, FTC SaysMechanical keyboard simSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.