#75: The Orientation Gap: When Success Stops Organizing Your Life

Success and achievement aren't just some kind of psychological trick or a shallow distraction. They're actually a way to make sense of the uncertainty of life, narrow your options of choices, and shape distracted energy into focused action.  In this way, success and achievement work perfectly. They take you from the fog of uncertainty and grant you the life you always wanted.  Problem is, it's disorienting and confusing after you become successful because it can no longer order your priorities in the way it did before you tasted success yourself. This is why it feels like a mid-life crisis, being burnt out, losing your edge, or judging yourself for not being as appreciative of your success as you think you should be.  But it's NOT some kind of personal failure or character defect. Instead, it's something called the "Orientation Gap." You enter this Orientation Gap when success no longer gives you structure (which is normal once you achieve the success you originally set out for).  When you enter the Orientation Gap, it's your emotions trying to urge you to reorder your priorities based on your new life. But it feels so unproductive and backwards to the way you approach life, that you risk never closing this gap - a mistake most high achievers make.  But by listening to this episode, you'll understand how to close the Orientation Gap and rediscover the pure joy that's waiting for you.  Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why do so many successful people feel empty after achieving their goals and how can you prevent this pervasive emptiness? (0:17) How ambition allows you to relate to uncertainty in a healthier way (and why this very fact also leads to the "ambition trap" that erodes your self-confidence) (5:50)  The internal machinations that happen after success that make you feel disoriented and lost instead of liberated and free (10:54)  Why being in the middle of the "Orientation Gap" is NOT a personal failure (even though it feels this way to your nervous system) (12:02)  What is usually happening beneath your awareness if you assume you're burnt out, worry that you've lost your "edge," or start beating yourself up because you're not as grateful for your success as you ought to be (13:06)  The single biggest mistake to make in the Orientation Gap that can forever imprison you into feeling like you're in a mid-life crisis (16:30)  3 things you must re-order deliberately and consciously otherwise you'll never close the Orientation Gap (and why your mind will try to fight against this re-ordering) (24:28)  For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you've crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you've built the life you thought you wanted, yet there's still something important missing. I've put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what's really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you'll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It's fast. It's practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz