80: 5 things I would NEVER do as a SECURE Partner (lessons for healing anxious attachment) episode artwork

EPISODE · Sep 9, 2025 · 26 MIN

80: 5 things I would NEVER do as a SECURE Partner (lessons for healing anxious attachment)

from The Anxious To Secure PODCAST · host Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach

Remember those red flats from my 20s (that probably STILL get overthought if not addressed…)? The ones I wore on a first date, nervously texting back and overthinking every move? That was me before I started healing my anxious attachment. In this episode, I share 5 things I would NEVER do again as my securely attached self and the lessons that came from years of dating, heartbreak, and self-discovery.   I dive into letting go of people-pleasing, chasing connection, and believing every anxious thought meant danger, and what I do now instead to show up confidently in love, friendships, and even with family.  If you’ve struggled with anxious attachment, overthinking texts, or feeling “too much” in relationships, this episode is your guide to showing up securely, honoring your needs, and trusting yourself in love.   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Intro 01:46 5 Things I’d NEVER Do as a Secure Partner + Healed Anxiously Attached Woman 02:50 01. I don’t say the same boundary 5 times with no consequence 06:45 02. I don’t “go along” with things that feel bad just to avoid tension 08:54 03. I don’t chase connection when it’s not being met halfway 11:51 04. I don’t stay silent just to be “easy” 13:41 05. I don’t make everything mean something about me 16:32 Why you Don't need MORE reassurance 19:50 06. BONUS: I stopped BELIEVING every anxious thought meant “I’m in danger”     Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP + FREE RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop     Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ   How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)     DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Remember those red flats from my 20s (that probably STILL get overthought if not addressed…)? The ones I wore on a first date, nervously texting back and overthinking every move? That was me before I started healing my anxious attachment. In this episode, I share 5 things I would NEVER do again as my securely attached self and the lessons that came from years of dating, heartbreak, and self-discovery.   I dive into letting go of people-pleasing, chasing connection, and believing every anxious thought meant danger, and what I do now instead to show up confidently in love, friendships, and even with family.  If you’ve struggled with anxious attachment, overthinking texts, or feeling “too much” in relationships, this episode is your guide to showing up securely, honoring your needs, and trusting yourself in love.   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Intro01:46 5 Things I’d NEVER Do as a Secure Partner + Healed Anxiously Attached Woman02:50 01. I don’t say the same boundary 5 times with no consequence06:45 02. I don’t “go along” with things that feel bad just to avoid tension08:54 03. I don’t chase connection when it’s not being met halfway11:51 04. I don’t stay silent just to be “easy”13:41 05. I don’t make everything mean something about me16:32 Why you Don't need MORE reassurance19:50 06. BONUS: I stopped BELIEVING every anxious thought meant “I’m in danger”     Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP + FREE RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop     Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ   How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)     DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

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80: 5 things I would NEVER do as a SECURE Partner (lessons for healing anxious attachment)

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This episode was published on September 9, 2025.

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Remember those red flats from my 20s (that probably STILL get overthought if not addressed…)? The ones I wore on a first date, nervously texting back and overthinking every move? That was me before I started healing my anxious attachment. In this...

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