81 - How Clarity Helps Your Communication and Relationships

How Clarity Helps Your Communication and Relationships So much of our happiness (and frustrations!) come from the people in our lives. Therefore it makes sense that we should invest time in developing our relationships. Most of us don’t do this in any deliberate fashion, and run the risk of miscommunication, misunderstanding and all that comes with it. Think of this: If you’re a mess in your head, and try to communicate in a messy way with someone else who may also be unclear in their head, you’re not set up for success. Hence it’s so important we get calm, clear and comfortable in ourselves before we engage in any important dialogue. Clarity allows us to articulate specifically what our concerns are, what are needs and desires are, and what our boundaries are. When we’re clear we’re more likely to communicate in a way that invokes empathy, rather than resentment or defensiveness. When you’re calmer, you’re less likely to react. It’s easier then to be curious about what the other person means. You’re better able to listen rather than having your ego preparing it’s defence or prepared remarks! None of this is manipulation. Manipulation is born out of scarcity and greed, and also out of the belief that others are wholly responsible for what you want. They’re holding what you need and it needs to be taken from them. It’s zero-sum game thinking. In fact, when we’re calm and clear we’re much more likely to look for and find a strategy that allows everyone’s needs to be met. I said it’s important to get your mind and feelings clear before interaction, when in reality it’s a continuous back and forth. You gain a little understanding of yourself, then through calm interaction gain and understanding of the other and the relationship. Then you’re back to understanding how this changes your thoughts and feelings, and so on. https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=18248924&appointmentType=11286512