81: Parenting ADHD Kids Using the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions Model with Kim Hopkins-Betts

Traditional parenting methods don't often work for children with ADHD. Have you ever asked either of these questions:  Why don't consequences work with some children?  What can parents do instead of these traditional methods that don't work?  Kim Hopkins is an independently licensed clinical social worker who has specialized in working with behavioral challenged kids for more than 25 years. She has managed the clinical departments of two organizations serving youth and families in residential facilities, foster homes, therapeutic day schools, and homeless shelters.  She has been a Collaborative and Proactive Solutions, which is CPS for short, trainer since 2007, helping schools, residentials, hospitals, and parents to successfully implement the CPS model from Dr. Ross Greene. Kim is also the director of outreach and communication for Dr. Ross Greene's nonprofit, Lives in the Balance.  In this episode, Kim shares tips about how to parent children with ADHD using the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions Model developed by Dr. Ross Greene.    Key Takeaways: [4:09] Why do some kids struggle more than others? [6:10] Why do consequences often NOT work, and what can parents use instead? [9:24] The first step in teaching kids lacking skills [12:55] What parents can do in the heat of the moment (An Explanation of Plan A, B, & C of the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions Model) [16:43] Summary of Plans A, B, & C [17:48] The 3 steps in Plan B [19:13] How long this system takes for families to incorporate [22:56] Resources to help families begin using the CPS Model [24:46] How Kim got started using the CPS Model [26:39] Kim's top tip for parents   Memorable Moments: "Kids who exhibit behavior in the face of problems and frustrations do so because they lack the skills not to. This is a skills deficit situation. A lot of traditional parenting techniques talk about it as being a motivation deficit situation. We don't believe that at all." "They [consequences] don't get the job done because they're not doing anything to address skills." "You can observe their feelings. You can observe their behavior. But it's their thought process that if you had a little glance into would really position you to better help them." "Pouring on empathy…can really help bring a kid back to baseline." "The durable, problem-solving, skills-teaching piece happens only proactively." "Nothing good happens in the heat of the moment. So…let's avoid you even getting there." "Step 1 is where you have the empathy step…Step 2 is the define the adult concern step…Step 3 is the invitation step where we're going to invite the kid to consider possible solutions with us that address what they told us in the first step and what we said in the second step." "A good solution meets two criteria: it's got to be realistic…and it's got to be mutually satisfactory." "Tune out the noise of all the pressure that people are putting on you….You know your child."   How to Connect with Kim Hopkins-Betts: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/livesinthebalance  Website: https://livesinthebalance.org/  Dana Kay Resources: Website: https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDThriveInstitute/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/adhd-thrive-institute/mycompany/  Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/adhdthriveinstitute/  Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute  International Best Selling Book, Thriving with ADHD – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/  Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass - https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl  ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/