81 - The Mist (2007)

The moral of this story is a simple one. Just give it like 10 extra minutes Just like 10 minutes and then shoot your son, but definitely wait like 10 more minutes this week on King me Fear changes everything this is the mist King me Wait hold on King me to church What is that that's like take me to church but instead it's King me to church Okay, I'll worship like a dog Like koojo no shrine of your lies shrine of your lies well that could be like Perhaps a second Who's a liar who's a famous Stephen King like oh borrow was that borrowed things or whatever what's that one called needful things needful things borrow things I'm thinking of wedding shopping. Yeah. Yeah something borrowed something blue whatever.

Yeah. Yeah, that's probably the name of a few Like ABC family original movies. Oh my god something something borrowed. Yeah If you looked up if you happen to catch a movie called something borrowed and you're like You know what I wanted to look up this actor So you googled something borrowed the movie you would never be able to find it because it would be lost in a sea of movies called something borrowed Yeah, how much time you got yeah, go through that.

They're all they're all starring like you know one of those people who care It's like it's starting like Rob Lowe circa 2002 like and featuring five guys who look like Rob Lowe ugly weird Rob Lowe's Right, it's like yeah something borrowed is the story of a career woman who she you know She just saw about her career. She's climbing up the corporate ladder and then something unexpected happens I mean some other dreams have you ever watched any of those like Hallmark channel movies or oh big time? Yeah, I watched the Christmas ones. Yeah.

Oh my god It was last winter like there was a snow day so I didn't say everyone to watch I think it was a hallmark What's the other lifetime that's another one but like it's it's crazy like not just you know Obviously the movies are like very silly and bad but like there's like it seems like this whole economy based around these really bad movies like right Yeah, I mean they just crank them out Yeah And like and they're starring the same people a lot of the time and so you like look somebody up in there It's almost like it is almost like porn where you look somebody up and they've done a hundred movies in one year and you're like Yeah, it seems like a lot but it's it's it's I'm very serious when I say it's far more degrading than porn I think that sounds like I'm just being like oh cuz that's a joke as porn as the great I would much rather fuck on camera than be in one of those movies. Um, yeah, so Netflix has also started doing them I think what I like about these movies is that they kind of like they sort of pull away the mask of like television being anything other than Like a vehicle for advertising. Oh, yeah, they're just like yeah fuck it put whatever on we'll pay you we'll pay you pennies But I found one that was like The character was supposed to be like a talented artist like it was his secret passion and the woman who's in love with him Finds out about this and it's like I had no idea you could draw and I am actually do you have your phone handy? Sure, all right.

I'm gonna send you this while we're on mic because it is the funniest thing It's just like so I'm sending you this now and I'm vamping and I'm vamping But keep in mind that this is this character is supposed to be like a secret genius artist You guys can't see this but if you go on Dan's Instagram a simple machine, yes, well, it's from like months ago Well, let's just post it. Let's just post it. I'm following down Instagram. Yeah, that's a better idea So we'll post that we'll post that picture so you can follow along great.

Okay, cool Guys we're not here to talk about lifetime movies We're here to talk about different time Rob we're here to talk about death time movies oh as in time for death Too scary Well tough cookies my man. You you're locked in if you could get through no smoking This is walking the park. This is it. This is okay.

So I think we talked about this a little bit last week, but So have you seen this movie before? Yeah, no, okay ending before actually okay, so this is your first time watching it all the way through big time That's a big 10 for much So you didn't really care for it. Is that is that right? I didn't care for like the middle of it Okay, like I liked all of the sort of like the monster scenes.

I just hated Marcia Gayhart and his character I didn't hate the way she was playing it. I just hated how Sanctimoniously this movie treated itself. Yeah, is that fair? Yeah, no, I yes, I think Her character is a religious It's a crackpot Yeah, every time she's on screen I hate her but that's obviously what we're going for here and this is a Stephen King adaptation Which you know now that we've seen goddamn, you know most of them The man's not subtle So no, I haven't read this story because we won't talk about the books or read them or do any sort of research on them No, absolutely.

We are forbidden by law from discussing the book right But like I have to imagine I mean it's based on a short story So I don't even know how how well she's splashed out in the book, but in this she is just like one thing Right beating you over the head with the one thing So you know a couple I'm on board with I don't care about that. Yeah, it's just I don't know I don't know it felt like she was to this what Piper Laurie was to carry but Piper Laurie is absolutely fantastic Yes, and Marcia Gayhart and was kind of boring. I'll be honest with you. Yeah, I can yeah I mean Marcia Gayhart is like kind of twirling her mustache a little bit too much Yeah, but boringly yeah, right now and like yeah, Piper Laurie in Carrie is like She's Absolutely on one.

Yeah, she's just a true pill in that movie. Yeah But I think like I don't know you're saying it's based on a short story cool But like I don't know I think in a lot of ways a short story gives you license to do whatever you want And it's not like Stephen King wrote this Frank Darabont wrote this he could have made it instead of bad And it would have been no big deal well been fine Frank would have been mad if he made it good Well, he some might say he did make it good I think Stephen King actually said he made it better because that's his ending Darabont. Yeah, he might say he made it weird Is that right am I getting that right? Okay, so Stephen King likes it which I think historically is bad.

That's not a good It's not a mark in your favor of Stephen King likes your Stephen King edit I think it is I think if you Because like it's the same thing with like kuzhou I think in the book which we won't talk about but a little tad dies at the end of it and in a movie Little tad does not die and Stephen King was like, oh, that's a better ending It's better if the kid doesn't die. I screwed that up and what do you like just move on, you know And then in this I guess in the story the ending is not as bleak as it is here and he again King is like Oh, man, I really really messed this up. I could have went darker and would have worked so whatever. That's fine.

That's all right. Okay. I hear you I just you're not into it. That's fine.

No, I liked it. There's a lot I liked about it There's a lot I liked about it a guy accidentally gets lit on fire and just stay on the ground your favorite thing My favorite thing in a movie not in real life. I actually don't like that in real life I liked again. I like all the monsters.

I thought there were a lot of good deaths There's a lot of like pretty upsetting imagery. You know, the CGI doesn't hold up at all But like I think the designs of these critters is a pretty fun pretty spooky. I think most of them I do have some issues. I think my only real issues with this movie are like Some of the some of the effects on the monsters, but that we can get to that later Yeah, I mean I just chalk that up to this being from 2007 sure sure sure sure Yeah, I'm more willing to look past that than like the shitty morality play like I don't need That yeah, we got it.

We get it people are you know, this is human nature It's Lord of the Flies meets HP long crowns No, it sounds like you just swallowed your chin Gonna do that oh Boy, hey, I don't know if it's still on there, but there's a there's a clip. There's a sound cue drop I hope you play what I'm talking about Andre Brouwer. Oh Boy, maybe you don't have it on there anymore. It's okay.

If you don't know what it is It's probably you know if if I never say it then I won't have anything to feel bad about is it about is it about some kids pig? No, no, no, I would never that's the only other one And and fucking what is that one? Do you have that handy? I don't even remember it about Pulling a pig.

Yeah, I think I took that off of here That's for the best. Yeah, I think it's better for everyone So all right you you already said this but this is a frank dairbont production joint. This is his fucking baby This is the third dairbont What's this what's the other one besides this in shushank shushank and green mile? Oh Greeny.

Yeah, I forget. Yeah, well two of those are almost the same and then the other one is not it is not like that I appreciate him trying to break out of his little box there. I don't appreciate him writing a bad script I wish he hadn't written such a bad script I I think really watching this movie you get the sense that he thought I would be mad at him if he'd written a good one I Man, I just I just don't agree with you. Let's let's let's who's in this one.

Let's talk about it We got we got Thomas Jane a pongolum right the Punisher himself King alum yep from dream catcher was Frank Dairbont involved with that also Lawrence Kasdan. Yeah, Lawrence Kasdan and then someone bizarre wrote it right Yeah, it wasn't like William Goldman. Yeah. Oh my god.

Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so yeah, okay prestige kind of guy Yeah, they all feel like the same they all feel like they're wearing tweet jackets when you say their names Yeah, you already said Marcia gay Harding Hardin Um, Laurie Holden who I think most people would probably recognize from walking dead.

I don't know me brother I don't know what that show is you ever watch it. You never watched it never watched it never watched it. I'm sure it's fine Oh, really? Okay, great great great.

I think it's more honestly That's like extremely normie prestige TV. I don't need that. Yeah, it's not I don't know I know there's probably a lot of people that listen. I would imagine listen to this.

I probably like walking dead Sorry, I read the comics. I like those those are very well done I think the the show can be a bit slow sometimes I have heard it's kind of a Fars like it's very bad after season like two or three Yeah, it seems like yeah I don't know people seem to like keep watching it just to see how bad it can get Yeah, that's I think that's right Fuck up y'all also as far as my opinions go. I think it's important to remember that I you know There's an audio clip floating out there of me talking about some kid poll in his pig or whatever I'm the guy who re-recorded the song where wolves of London just to put his own name in over the chorus So everything I say is bad and wrong. I don't know if you listen to The episode of calling the shots that I was on but we talked about that werewolves London.

Oh, did you your cover up? Yeah, that's very sweet. That's very sweet Talking Teen Wolf we had to bring it up. You know it came up naturally.

That is natural. Um that said This goes for you as well as Taylor and Steve. Mm-hmm. My name out of your fucking mouths.

All right. All right Who else who else is it Toby Jones what yeah Toby Jones? Capote Wait, he played Capote. Yeah, there were two Capote movies there's one with Philip Seymour Hoffman and There's one with what's the name Toby Jones That was the thing it's called the infamous.

I'm gonna stick to that. I'm gonna say it's infamous It's Capote, but with a seven instead of the oh doesn't make a lick of sense Who else we got? Andre Brouwer. Oh, I got a black guy, huh?

There we go You got it. I did you found your way there. Thank you for lowering yourself to meet me where I'm at. Oh The crack in the sizzle that can only mean one thing it's uh, it's Rob's the seltzer That's it.

This is a ASMR heads out there Hey, I've been watching ASMR videos where they crush up like soap. Oh, I never see those. I've seen the ones where they cut soap Yeah, so they cut them and then like they'll take like curls of soap and it's all dried out and they just like crack it in their hands Is it satisfying to watch it's incredibly satisfying to watch? Yeah, it's also very sexy.

Yeah So crumbles what are they? Of all the things, you know, it's not that big a deal. Oh We should so talking about Andre Brouwer another King alum Andre Brown. Yeah, yeah Yeah, the Rob Lowe sounds a lot.

No shit. I don't remember him being in that at all. He was the vampire prominent in that movie He played okay, please Rob Lowe's friend who is gay and Like it's a it's kind of like a weird subject in like the town Yeah, yeah, huh? Some vampire shit happens.

Wow. So that really primed him for his role as the guy on Brooklyn 99 who is also gay. I think yeah I think that's same character same guy. That's right.

Yeah, it's in the same world. I mean guys are yeah The guys of vampire how you're not gonna give them a job is yeah, everyone in that precinct isn't under his throw. Oh except for Santiago Jeffrey DeMone, he's definitely a King alum, right? Jeffrey DeMone is yeah, he's in I think he's in the Green Mile But he's definitely in Shawshank.

He's the the DA prosecutor in the very beginning Yeah, he's in Green Mile as well Let's see anything else I'm content with that list. That's I think every time we just go too far. We go too far down the IMDB credits and then we're scrambling Let's see who else Francis stir hanging stir-hanging Oh, yeah, well, but it well she's also a King alum. What oh is she in misery or something?

Is she the horny misery? That's right. Is that right? Yeah, no kin.

Yeah, yeah, the show is life. I call them like I see them Good for me AKA Esther Clavin from Cheers. Hey Cheers is a great show. Hey Have you heard of this show cheers?

Oh, when are they gonna do the reboot? Bring it back make it worse Yeah, make it worse sick of it being so good. This is a reverse the mist They're worried that if they made it bad, I'd get mad at them, but I'd actually be very happy Chris Owen enough You probably know him as Sherman or the Shermanator from the American Pie films. Oh Okay, yeah, now I'm putting that in the perspective because guess who doesn't remember?

Those movies very much, but guess who does look like Benedict Cumberbatch now. It's Chris Owen. That's a bit Little weasel eyes. How about that?

Yeah, shout out to Chris Owen He's also in Van Wilder party liaison Which actually it looks like they just renamed it is this the same movie is very confusing it now It can't be the same no I it is it is it's just on is on it's on IMDb as Van Wilder Colin party liaison and it says original title Van Wilder What yes, I guess there are so many that like people weren't watching the original they just made context or something I thought well, I guess there's I knew that there was obviously Van Wilder to the rise of Taj of course I'm just being informed that there's a third van Wilder movie freshman year where I guess presumably Van Wilder the naked mile Van Wilder the legend of Stifflers ghost The legend of Stifflers ghost dick. Hell yeah, dude. I heard oh, he's here's a joke from that movie dude He's dead and he still gets more pussy than I do Thank you that was Van Wilder the legend of Stifflers ghost smell my ghost finger For some reason they still use Louie Louie in it Very relevant no they but they also use Scotty doesn't know that's in it Those movies just mash together don't they they do I'll say this for Scottie doesn't know There was a very fun little oral history of it unlike I want to say like vulture or something just like Explaining how the fuck mad David ended up yeah, yeah I love that he was apparently like you know how he's like completely bald in that yes He he was wearing a wig for whatever movie he was shooting anyway, so he was like how about you just shave my head It is that's also oh go ahead no no that's that's amazing. I think I'm that demon to do their stupid movie That's that movie is Probably best remembered as for generating me catchphrase.

This isn't where I parked my car That's what the one character says is it throughout the movie yeah, that's like whenever he finds himself in an awkward situation He says this isn't where I parked my car and he leaves oh wait It is like the most catchphrase II catchphrase line. Yeah huge fan huge fan Let's get into movie a little bit. We're gonna have to freakin a half hour and we haven't talked to people about it Well, no, I guess we did we haven't said Pete man all right, so this is Van Wilder the mist 2007 So this movie it this movie opens with our main Our main character here is a movie he draws movie posters. He paints movie posters Apparently he did the poster for John Carpenter's the thing that's what we're led to believe here because that's hanging up in his art studio Yeah, and he's working on one for the fuck help me up the guns like yeah the dark tower I thought that was pretty interesting that was interesting the it's a It looks like Clint Eastwood from like the spaghetti western like man with no name series and then there's like the actual dark tower in the background It's a good picture.

Yeah, that's like a weird you know what I'm thinking about this I'll tell you what I'm thinking about this now That's a weird consistency with like the love crafting and sort of movies we've watched I'm thinking also within the mouth men and of course, but they always like tee it up is like these books exist in that world Yeah, you're right. Yes Just to give you a sense of the cosmic scope of the horror yeah, and No, I I have not read the gunslinger. I've only seen the previews for the movie so You know oh no, we're gonna have to watch that we are gonna have to watch that shit That's the but the it's just there's like multi dimensions or multiple dimensions, right? That's that's kind of my god at Buster right so I mean presumably here like the mist there's all there's multiple dimensions in this as well That's where all these creatures come from is like another dimension So it's possible that it you know the gunslinger is a book within this world, but it's also yeah It's its own world, you know, it's all connected.

It's more that Stephen King Castle Rock universe kind of thing Oh man, you watch that castle rock. Yeah, it is. Did we talk about that last week and we touched on it a bit Yeah, it's extremely not about Stephen King. Yeah, it really could have been called anything Yeah, it could be Yeah, I was I was hoping for more of a I don't know more like Characters that may have been established instead of just instead of just having Jane Levy be like yeah I'm Jack Torrance's niece Jackie Torrance.

Yeah, that probably sounds like a little joke Dan would make but that's her name on the show Yeah, she's Jackie Torrance. Yeah, I think like you know we've been great to see Like Pennywise in her like interacting with Pennywise or some shit and drinking at the bar going shot for shot Like oh and who's that walking in the door? It's the night flyer. That is what we were led to believe though Like with that initial like teaser where it was just like Like it was just names of Stephen King stories Just like kind of flashing on the screen and then it like ended with just like in big letters like Castle Rock It's a bit misleading to like Deliberately misleading.

Yeah, I like to be to be like you like all these stories. Well, here's another one that has nothing to do with them Right. It's a it's a classic. Um, what's that oh the third Wow?

I'm really blanking on the oh sometimes they come back again. Oh, yeah Yeah, whatever the third one is where it just clearly was like a thing rip off. Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, with uh with our favorite character. Oh, you got You of all What are you?

Oh Kevin? It's a point you should have to ask I don't know what you're talking about. I think I think you know exactly what I'm talking about I don't want to have a showing. It's all you're just like you dad.

Just like a spin image I mean, I'll know that it happens in far away from the tree fucking demon Michael Rappaport. Why? It's so good So insane. All right, so so what happens?

There's a storm and a tree breaks through Thomas James window Smashes up his paintings real good and something fierce. Yeah, really fuck shit up Painting wise. Yeah, so him and his wife and his son are like outside. They're checking out the damage The the neighbor's tree fall at fallen on Thomas James boathouse.

So So Thomas Jane goes over there and Andre Brouwer is a neighbor and there seems to be some sort of Yeah, they read I think before even walks over there. They like reference that Thomas Jane had sued on tree brow or vice versa. Maybe I think it's vice versa. I think hundred hours suit him But Thomas Jane won.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and Andre Brouwer is a lawyer How that is embarrassing that is very embarrassing So they're sort of you know doing like a awkward neighbor kind of thing and Thomas Jane mentions he's like yeah, I'm gonna you know, I gotta close up this hole in my side of my house here I'm gonna run into town and then Andre Brouwer's like hey a tree fella my BMW. Can I get a ride?

So that's yeah, and then there that's the beginning of them mending their Relationship, yeah, I mean that's it like then we get to the fucking grocery store where we spend the next Roughly hour and a half probably yeah Yeah You know everybody it's a storm. So it's that classic like everybody is buying as much shit at the stores that can sort of stock up whatever And I don't know I kind of like to see him in the first like walks in Tom's Jane You're like, you know, he's clearly like a local like he knows everybody in town That's like kind of what they're establishing here He's like saying hi to one of the checkout girls like babysits a kid Sally which is not a believable name Sally I want to go on record is saying that is the worst thing you could name a character who's buying that No, yeah, like her name is just Sally like it is Sally. Okay, not buying it. Yeah Yeah, but I like this because especially after seeing the movie itself You know, they're just like our main at this point our main characters are just walking around the store and you see other Characters that will get to know, you know, just like kind of walking around in the background like everybody's just there and turns into We should mention that this entire movie is a townie profile.

Oh shit. Okay. You're right. Hold on We should open up time to profile.

Yeah, I'll be right back Wonder how much they pay for it at the college Let's just about find a smell the world said maybe pussy. They don't cut the outsiders and they probably won't have a phone either I I married anyone If you're a new listener, this is where we usually You normally we will just like highlight a townie or two Stephen King movies, of course famous for their main townies now We like to take some time to you know, celebrate townie culture of course this entire movie is just townies in a supermarket So hold them episodes of townie profile Rob Did you add more to that it felt longer than ever? I even though I had heard it in months. No, I didn't but I have to Yeah, this is something from I mean, there's a ton of towns here.

We gotta you know town you know, yeah, of course It's gotta be a William settler line though That's the king townie. Yeah Every town has one. Yeah, yeah, who's the biggest fucking townie here? Well, it's probably the guy in greasy overalls and Yeah, what do you got a little bit of paint on your shirt?

Are your boots somehow not laced at all, but they just stay on your feet? Alright, you're you're it tag your it man Get up there soon with Ron. Do you you kind of start out the movie as like, you know a shitty kind of Antagonists to everybody and then end it they crazed Evangelical are you easily swayed? Start out the movie And so on in that fashion So unworthy in my opinion oh my god Send me to hell Okay, just do it press on here.

Come on. It's not fair that you're the only one who can do that I would do that while you're halfway down the entire IMDB cast list every week When you're down it we're down it uh, you know, uh, David Jensen we're going through his his IMDB You know Oh, Jenny Randall woman number one. Yeah, that's how we're clam out of here Come on What the hell I'll tell you what I talk about a big game, but I'm powerless So as sure I'm a charismatic son of a gun, but ultimately what do I have? So this is like a it's a bottle episode.

Yes a bottle episode of what about a movie It's everybody's stuck in this one fucking place. This is my favorite kind of Stephen King movie. I fucking I love it. You're Langoliers.

Yeah Speaking of the Langoliers that seemed like a really easy one to tie into Castle Rock and they just did not and they just fucking didn't yeah They could uh, but yes, so yeah, it is a bottle movie. It pretty much all takes place in this supermarket this grocery store And I yeah, I really feel like they do a lot with it. I think a grocery store It's a rich setting many aisles many different kinds of food products. Oh, and then you got the back of the grocery store I keep the dog food.

I think the The setting is I don't know I think it's it's fun It's kind of like, you know, it's a place where there's a ton of people that can like they can survive it There's food and like, you know, it's shelter and whatnot, but it's also It also that's also like working against it because yeah, you know, like in the Langoliers You're dealing with like maybe 10 people maybe and they start turning on each other, you know in this there's like You know 75 people right it can only go bad, you know So and yeah, you have everybody has their own fucking opinion about everything and they want to do their own thing It's great one guy is a gun though. No, he sure does So everybody's in the store and then they see this fucking oh, what's his name? Demon who's Jeffrey Jeffrey? Jeffrey?

I'm on that John. Yeah, they see Jeffrey to month with a bloody nose running scared towards the grocery store And he gets in there and he said he starts screaming lock the doors and he screams lock the gates Lock the gates Everybody's guys are quick tell me What do you think man? Beals or stones? Yeah, me too Whatever it is yeah, whatever yeah It depends on how enamored he is with the musician.

He's talking to of course of course But he's sorry, he's you know freeze everybody out and then this mist rolls in and everybody like shots and locks the doors And that's quick earthquake happens and then there's this the scene where this woman who let's see Melissa McBride She doesn't have a name in there. Her name is just woman with kids at home That is her whole deal. Yeah, which is her whole deal She starts crying and saying that she has two kids at home and starts crying and saying yeah, she's two kids at home and she's a woman That's it. That's it.

She she has a two kids ones eight and ones like four I want to say and she's like I'm told I'd be going for only a couple minutes I can't I can't just leave him there and you know she forgets sometimes to watch him and whatever so That she starts asking like you know can somebody can somebody walk me home and nobody nobody's willing to do it Yeah, that's really I okay, so I do think that's just like a great way to just like gently push the first domino of this movie Yeah, I I'll give you that one It's it's I love this especially with what happens at the end. I Don't know. I love just this like she's she obviously she can't stay like you know she she's got two kids two small kids at home and You know at this point we don't know what's in the mist we only know the Jeffrey DeMunt said something like grabbed a guy And you know he didn't see what it was so she's got to take that chance and you know the image of her just like she's pissed off like nobody will walk her home and She tells everybody to go to hell and then she just walks outside and she just like disappears into this mist Very scary in like great. We don't see anything from her You know we see her at the very very end, but that's you know we we just assume okay.

Well, she's gone forever Yeah, so that's yeah, that's that's one. That's basically yeah, they do roll credits, but then the movie keeps going so there's a The whole generator a bit where like the generator gets all clogged up or something So a group of guys go back there and they're gonna like They're gonna check it out and Thomas Jane before he brings everybody back there He is like a garage door and he sees something like pressing this like huge metal garage door and He gets freaked out, but everybody else is like they don't believe him. Oh city boy. Yeah.

Yeah. Listen city boy We're not we're not you know, we're not as dumb as you think we are you believe the Shermanator calls him a pussy He does he does that Which I mean if anyone if anyone is the right to it's freaking the Shermanator didn't he like sleep with Oh, that's Finch The Shermanator Oh, they just he just jerks off in front of everyone at the big party. Yeah, that's his thing And they all start cheering him on and of course Louis Louis plays Yeah, he fucks a he fucks a pie, but it's one of those like small like tasty cake pies. It's a big big one So the he's like William Sandler or Sadler and his buddy there They're like egging this kid on they're like alright.

We're gonna turn this thing off raise up the garage You run out there unclog the exhaust and then come back in and then we'll turn this generator back on and Thomas He's like don't you really shouldn't go out there. There's something out there for sure and they're like fuck you you know you're fucking city boy, you don't know shit about anything and and then you find it they raise up the garage and The Shermanator he doesn't even get outside He just like he's just it at the doorway and just like looks under there and these huge fucking tentacles come out of nowhere and grab them Tentacles with teeth. Yeah, so yeah, so this is good. This is our first monster We might as well start talking about the monster design.

Um, I mean that the underside of those tentacles looked real good It was too bright purple. Would you agree? Yeah? Yeah, I could see that It would have been better if it was like more of just like kind of a gray slimy greenish gray.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah Love craft colors right? Yeah, the thing grabs on to him and he starts like, you know, obviously he's like freaked out Um The more tentacles come in and they start like taking bites out of them That one part like one of the tentacles like with the teeth on the underside They like take a bite out of them and they like oh, this is good and then take like a bigger bite out of them Yeah, it's super fucking it's it's it looks really fucked up. Yeah, they I think what makes this scene work So well is how long it gets dragged out.

Yeah, oh my god. That's it. That's all I have to say when the fucking when they like What's named Toby Jones, right? Yeah Yeah, Toby Toby fucking Charlie Chan.

I got uh, Madonna's big dick and one here and uh, Toby fucking Wong and another Townie profile saying that line. Oh, we're back Um When the fucking when Toby Jones goes to take the axe and he swings the axe and he misses like the thing like drags Uh the kid and the kid like hits his head on the garage door. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's fucking that's fucked up Um, and then just sucks him out there and just what I am.

He was a real guy But not before Thomas jane spends like a good minute just like hanging onto this kid like trying to get him back in Yeah, and what it should be like Yeah, go ahead. No, no, go ahead. Go ahead. Oh, the Shermanator's freaking out the whole time He's really not into the idea of getting eaten by a monster.

Yeah, he is not about that Um, and the other townie guys, William Sadler and uh his friend They're just too scared to do anything. They're like off to the side just staying out of this thing's way um I don't know the Jesus Christ I I love that right after this uh, William Sadler's like, hey, man. I'm really sorry I didn't you know, I didn't I didn't know, you know And Thomas jane just like hitting him and shit and he's like, you know, he just keeps apologizing I'm sorry, you know, like the kid wanted to go out there and Thomas jane said the line he says is like it's great He's like yeah, he's fucking stupid. He's a kid.

He's supposed to be stupid. Like I don't know I just really I like that line, you know, yes Yeah, that whole that whole freak out is like, oh, Thomas jane, you know, not a great actor not one of the greats But uh disagree. You think he's one of the greatest come on the greats TJ talking. I'm talking Bobby de Niro I'm talking puchino.

I'm talking jane de luis Yeah, no, I mean, it's not a great actor, but I felt I don't know. I like that scene. I was compelled by that scene. Yeah Um full stop full stop.

Am I gonna guess? Are you I don't know it feels like I kind of dropped off energy wise. I think I don't know as soon as we stop bullshitting I think I just kind of lose steam as soon as soon as we get into the movie Yeah, that's not what I came here for. Yeah, I know and I'm somehow convinced that's also what no one listing comes here for even though Oh, fuck.

Yeah, daddy Oh fuck. I don't yeah, I don't know where I get off thinking that anyone uh Is people reach out me like when are you doing this movie? Hey, when are you doing that movie? Yeah?

Yeah, about a Bing they say right it's mostly opportunity. I'm reaching out, right? Yeah Um, who uh when are you gonna talk about uh, never mind. What's that?

What are you gonna talk about? Oh What are you gonna talk about? No smoking When are you gonna talk about no spheratu? Oh, the joke of a uh story sure sure sure Um so so here's the thing.

Do you I don't know did you also find it weird that dog food is like a recurring motif in this movie? Is it I feel like it comes up more than one so the monster rips open a bag of dog food They put bodies on top of the dog food. That's two three makes a trope. I know but that's two.

Yeah. Yeah. Well two makes a trope. Okay.

So that's a trope That's a trope now Yeah, this story definitely has a lot of dog food They're using it to like barricade the window than shit. Um, so at this point what's in it? Marcia Gayheart is starting to preach She's saying that it's the end of the preach go off queen Um She you know, she's she's old testament. She's you know, it's a vengeful god and she's talking about how like, uh, you know How angry is with everybody?

It's you know, it's very annoying in a situation like this. Yes It's the last thing anyone needs Yeah, in a high stress situation somebody like Somebody just going off on you know, a whole year than now. It's all your fault kind of thing How are you gonna? Yeah, how are you gonna make this about you right now?

Yeah? Um, so I like this the there's a scene where a group of guys, Andre Brower is part of this group. That's like, listen We're not gonna fucking stay here. All right, uh, you're not gonna convince me that there's some sort of monster out there I don't care what you guys say You know, I'm going I'm leaving right so all these other people they decided to go leave too.

Um, and this biker who's with there Um, he's like, I'm not gonna. We'll call him. We'll call him mad dog. Yeah, mad dog is like I'm not gonna leave but this guy over here has a shotgun and I think I can get it so Um, they tire rope around him and oh fucking hell.

Yeah, this is a good one. It's so good It's so fucking good. You're like, you know, they're like there's some bad special effects CGI effects in this movie Um, you know like the tentacles they look like CGI tentacles like bugs and all the shit Yeah, there's some real Percy Jackson and the lightning people at tentacles. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm noticing that movie I know what you're talking about though. Yeah, it looks cheap But I think it works best obviously when it's kind of like under the cover of this fog, right? So like when you just see like some I call it a mist You want the mist whatever but like when it's when you can only make out like the shape, you know of something or like you get it Like a glimpse of you know something in the in the mist. You're like, oh, that looks very big and scary You know So yes, this scene which they don't show any of the monster.

It's just this rope It's oh man. I just love the way they use it like so they're leading this guy out on the rope, right? And all of a sudden the ropes start getting pulled and you know, it burns It burns our hands, you know, they're trying to hang on to it and shit and then it goes from like, you know, like ground level Like guy walking to being like pulled up in the air Um, and just I don't know just that visual is like holy shit. What the fuck is out there?

Like, I don't know I feel like this movie would have been like it would have been great if they just never showed us any of the monsters You know what I mean? Like if everything was just always in shadows and like they were just doing stuff like this Like just you know and it was everything was just left to your imagination, you know, right? Yeah, like even like you can't even show what happens when you know, like like they do with this monster We didn't we didn't get there yet, right? Yeah, okay So yeah, um all that happens and then suddenly the all the tension in the rope goes slack Um, they start pulling it back as fast as they can.

Oh, and what do they get the lower half of that guy? Yeah, it's just right. It's just like from like his jeans It's just his jeans and his legs and that's it the whole his whole upper torso is gone I love to like the the wave in which everyone realizes what happened because like as people are screaming other other people are still pulling that rope Because like they're behind the people in front so they can't see it. Yeah, yeah, it just I bought it I really bought that and that was good.

Yeah, it's good. Yeah, holy shit. It's good I do think that for the most part this is pretty well acted like, you know, just everybody's reaction to this like kind of situation and I don't know just the tension. Um, really marshy gay heart and just feel super out of place in this.

Yeah, I see that. Yeah, um I like that. What's uh, lori holding? Um, I like her character.

She's like, um, uh, At the end, I guess we're it's sort of like uh, it's one of her favorite tropes the like The wiggle together family. Yeah. Yeah, it is. I was thinking about that.

I was so happy to see that. Yeah, yeah, that's Even happier with the the turn at the end. Of course. Um, I like her character though.

She's like, you know, she's You know, pretty rational and um Not she's just she's one of the the better people in this store, you know, um So like everything she's crazy. Everything these people do is just like the wrong They just keep fucking up like every decision they make is like the wrong decision But like what is the right decision, you know? Yeah, I like right like the the right decision is just to I don't know fucking Just keep all the lights off and don't like don't make a sound. I don't know right.

Yeah, I mean like I kind of I do like that about this Um, I keep making concessions. So overall, I guess I liked it. Um, but I I enjoy sort of the The like the way they juxtapose like individual decisions against like what the group is doing at a given moment Yeah, like yeah, yeah, basically just that scene with uh with the big bugs at night Is a good example of uh everyone half the people yelling turn the lights off and the other half not knowing not to do that Right. Yeah, uh, not to keep doing a lot.

What did you think uh, so there's there are a couple army soldiers in the store um, and one of them has a they have has like kind of a relationship thing he knows um sally and um, yeah, they went to school together and they like he's got a crush on her and shit So they and there's like they hint at like some sort of a like a love interest kind of a thing here Um, what did you think of that whole kind of storyline? Um It felt a little half baked but I think the like the conclusion of it uh Works for me because it's such like a such like a small town little innocent thing Like it felt very throwbacky in the way that a lot of Stephen King stuff does Um, but then it just ends in the most horrifying possible way. Right. Yeah Holy shit, that was like the most upsetting death for me Yeah, it's definitely definitely up there Yeah, um, yeah, because like so it yeah, it's like these younger they're obviously like I don't know They're in their late teens early 20s something like that probably like right out of high school and Oh god.

I just oh it sounds like somebody crawled out of the mist, you know Whoa I'm good. Um Yeah, so these these two young kids are like, you know starting like, oh, it's like it's young love, you know, they're like No, I like you like me. Let's make out in the stock room here. Um, you know, if we get out of this thing alive Well, I take you to a tgi fridays or something and It it's it's a kind of thing.

That's just like oh well This is like a nice thing in the middle of this horrifying situation Which makes what happens ultimately even more horrifying because um These bugs start getting attracted to the lights that these people are using and then the bugs Bring on these they're like Lizzerg bird kind of things yeah, they're like a big tarradeckle guys Yeah, and then they break through the glass and then these fucking things are in there along with the bugs And sally it's all gets ends up getting stung in the face by one of these bugs and her face fucking swells up and she dies Yeah, that shit is dark Yeah, and then they just like show her newly disfigured newly a corpse corpse Yeah, just just a head-on shot of her dead bloated face. Oh very fucked up, man. Very boy Big old yikes to that one, but this is also the first you know silver linings, right? This is when they first discover uh fire Is it even rewarding off these these critters also the first time they accidentally light someone on fire?

Well, he lights himself on fire. That's true. He very much does like himself on fire he he fucking gets himself a torch and uh and then just like kicks over a bucket of kerosene on doing something Classic a classic case of whoopsie. Yeah fucking dummy Oh boy, and he guess what doesn't die.

He does not all the way die. No, that's to live. Yeah. Yeah, so yeah So we said all right, so sally dies bugs everywhere.

This is one of those I I did not sally dies bugs everywhere That's a t-shirt for sure So one of me my main I mean bug booze with this is These like flying insect things and this the spiders I come up later their their faces are Our their are at the scaling tents. Yeah, they're they're super It's just a very weird choice for creature design. You didn't like it. I like it.

I didn't like it. I I did kind of like it It was more like I don't know it felt like silly it felt like uh, what's his name? Uh tim Burton kind of stupid creation. Yeah, but honestly this whole movie is riding that line Yeah, it is a guy lighting himself on fire.

That's stupid as hell. Well, there are like There are a few things that like would be comedy like I don't know even when the Shermanators getting pulled out if it weren't so horrifying It would be kind of funny. Yeah, it's true. The spiders the spiders do have human teeth It's yeah, they have big flat human teeth.

It's dumb But like I know it kind of works for me because it's just like Fucking I don't know it's very upsetting to see that it is. I don't know explain myself to you Uh, there's there's one shot here. Um, it's it's from the outside of building with the bikers lower half is just out there And we just see like we just see it get dragged away. We don't see what takes it We just see like somebody something takes it and that's it.

You know like, oh, Jesus Christ. This this world is a nightmare. Yeah, yeah Okay, so um the nighttime is the right time for bugs. We get we get past that Yeah, welcome to the next day that guy lit himself on fucking fire, man, and he didn't die Yeah, he lived just long enough to beg everyone to kill him Yeah, that's what he that's literally no no so Is it it's the guy that was on fire and his brother is in the store also and they There's a pharmacy that's like in the same shopping plaza.

Right. It's like the next building over Right, so they're like, okay Let's go to the pharmacy and we'll pick up antibiotics and painkillers for this guy that lit himself on fire great and brother The brother comes along. I do love Um, the older the old lady the one of the sheriff's wife in misery Um, what's her name? Irene reppler in this she She's like when they're picking out people to go to the pharmacy They're they're asking for volunteers and she's like didn't I have you in grade school?

And he's like yes, ma'am. He's like she's like I thought so yeah I always thought you never amount to anything and he's just sort of like hangs his head and and she like volunteers I'm she's just like all right. Let's go and he's like yes ma'am That's fun. It's fun small town values.

Yeah, so there's a small group of people that goes over the pharmacy They they find the drugs, but they also there's like spider webs everywhere which ooh pretty crawlies pay them Yeah, um, there's this tragic kingdom because this place is very spider webs forward That's the no doubt album tragic kingdom Because again, it's very very heavy on the spider webs and she'll leave a message and I'll call you back Leave a message and I'll explode with spiders Yeah, we basically see a bunch of people that are cocooned up here alien style really Um, no other way to say it. Yeah, I mean they're just like they're all stuck to the walls and shit um and the uh The mp who uh we saw earlier, uh, it's been he's been uh Webbed up to the wall. He's got all these like fucking like blisters and boils on his face and on his body The fuck is wrong with this guy any now. I Sorry to interrupt.

I just It took me 15 seconds to figure out what mp stood for okay So I just want to clarify that there's a military police guy that we see at the beginning of the movie Who is there a lot covered in blisters and boils and ghouls and goblins right guys covered in goblins? What do you want? Ancient goblins everywhere and a warlords. Yeah, uh, uh So this guy one of the fucking blisters pops on his face and a tiny spider comes crawling out of it And this is uh look it's this I'm just I'm gonna call it like I see it.

It's flat out yucky. It's real gross Right, uh spiders popping out of boils on my face. Um, no, thank you Um, tell you what you keep your spiders. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go hang out in my man cave instead. I think this is not appeal to me Um William Sather in walking around he finds a spider. It's fucking big and Like you said like big human flat teeth and it's gross Um these things start shooting their webs and the web is also acidic. Uh oh webs are acid Bugs are bugs are water, but you better believe that spider web is acid.

Yeah Uh this whole scene of course You okay? You want me to any Danny to take the reins? Yeah, talk about the brother getting getting his leg Wept up. Yeah, he gets his leg wept up Yeah, he gets shot up with some uh some webbing on his leg and it starts burning and burning and he's yelling.

Oh boy Oh boy. Oh wow. I never realized how bad I am at this. You're usually the one doing it.

Here. I am I'm heavily editorializing What about the guy who explodes into spiders? Come on. Yes, he is entire chest cavity burst open and guess what he's full of uh spiders He is like a pinata.

Uh, he's like HP Lovecraft meets a quincenero That's a great way to put it. Thank you. Um, I like the the old lady. She has like a can of bug spray and lighter.

Yeah, hell yeah Fucking dope. It's so good. I love just this woman always gets cast as like the uh, you know the horniest And meanest old lady and she looks like Fred Gwen She does look like a relative friend. She is all face motherfucker She's just got a huge face.

I don't know what to tell you. Uh, but yeah, that was a very good gag that she with a bug repellent on fire Yeah, um, so this guy the brother who gets his leg wept up he dies in the fucking in the drug store Um just like from that. Yeah, just from that right. I don't know if it's like shock or blood loss or what but he's dead Maybe got acid blood blood in his acid.

Yeah Um, once you um, oh real quick though Just while we're on sort of on the subject of lighting things on fire Uh, were you absolutely infuriated by how long it took them to light that mob on fire in the scene with the bugs? That was implausibly long. It was it was like that's what I mean like that beat is almost it's pretty much just comedy Yeah That it takes forever for them to light the mob on fire, but that guy likes himself on fire very quickly. Yeah like But it's as if his clothes are already soaking in some sort of Harrison before he even got to the store When he showed up at the store Listen, I I just doused myself in kerosene.

I I need a shot I got to get home. Yeah, I but I need some groceries before I get home So I know this isn't pleasant for anybody else, but this is just a situation here bear with folks. All right. Okay.

Nothing to see So, yes, um, they they exit the pharmacy Um when they come back, I believe martian gay harden has formed a religious faction She has more more people are buying into martian gay hardens whole deal. Um Hey, who's got the who's got the more suggestive name martian gay hardener dick van dyke? Oh Oh, wow neck and neck right two peas in the pod those two. Yeah, I love it.

Sorry. Go ahead more people are they're following along with uh martian martian martian martian martian gay harden. Yeah She William sattler who went over to the pharmacy saw the spiders and stuff when he comes back His brain is basically broken and from seeing these horrors and he's like yep I am one of these religious people now. I am way on board Um the uh, thomas jane and our small group of good guys.

I'm calm Um, that's what they call themselves. They're out the movie. Yeah, they call them the good guy Yeah, tobi john says he's like, hey, you know what? We're kind of like a small group of good guys And thomas jane's like, yeah, I kind of like the sound of that we're we're the small group of good guys He has triple g.

Yeah at one point Uh, if the frame just freezes and in a voiceover here tobi john say As long as I can remember I always want it to be one of the small groups of good guys And then it goes like a rolling stone song or something or something. It could have been the Beatles depending on who you're interviewing Um So they oh and then at the end there's that other tobi john's voice over where he says uh chris chambers got his throat cut at the The bank that they're whatever Again, this is uh, these are whatever bits Hey, we're just throwing shit out there. Is this a new segment called whatever bits? Yeah, I mean I was going for like a good fellow It's kind of thing.

Yeah, I was I was going for something else entirely I decided We're doing you know that thing where you like you put your hands on a baseball bat and whoever is at the knob Gets to like go up first. We're doing that with whatever bits That's what whatever bits is it's who can who can remain competitive while staying apathetic the longest Uh, that's good. That's good fun. Thank you.

Um Okay, so why are she gay harden? She's drinking milk. She's queen of the castle. Yeah, she she she's got her group of uh, you know Her followers now, um, but her big group of bad guys.

Yes The bg bg. Yeah Uh, or Thomas jane and everybody they they started asking this uh, this army private Um Like what he knows because uh the mp when they were in the pharmacy He said something like this is all our fault or something to that effect and um So they started asking this kid like what's going on and he was stationed up at this base at the top of the mountain and these scientists were doing uh These experiments and then william sather who he just uh, you know, he he basically like grabs the kid He's just rags him out in front of all these people and they start like accusing him of the things and demanding information and all the shit and uh You know, they blame him They blame this kid for what's happening and everybody just fucking goes along with it everybody and the butcher stabs him in the fucking stomach and then they they throw him outside and This is it. I mean, it's like a heartbreaking scene where the kid he's just like You know, he's outside and he's like looking into the story. He's like, please let me in and there's this huge fucking monster behind him And he's just like please and they won't do it and this thing just grabs him and like takes him away into the mist and that's it Uh to him.

I to him. I say audios. Yeah How about you? What do you say?

I say ostele vista, baby. Oh, that's good. Yeah I'm just gonna start saying that now To like end uh business calls. Yeah, like I'll be on like a business call with somebody and trying to get like, you know Trying to get some some clients and be like, hey, ostele vista, baby Yeah, uh for those who don't know Rob's day job is uh, he works in client acquisitions Hey, baby ostele vista.

That's one way to start a phone call Uh, you should say aloha because it can mean uh goodbye or hello. Yeah, and mahalo or no No, never mind. Mahalo just means goodbye Oh, han ohana ohana means family means family. Yeah, there we go and moana is very similar sounding It is You ever watch that in the waiting room of a general practitioner's office?

Baby, I saw that in the theater. Wow, not me. I saw it in the waiting room of a general practitioner's office I liked it. I the sound was off Well, yeah The way was long enough you saw the whole thing about yeah, oh, I thought you're gonna make a dirty joke about washing it with the sound off Oh, no, that's the only one that's the only one I'm just kidding.

I'm just pulling y'all. No Um So what happens? Oh, there's a there's a scene here. I which I think is like it's important to the end the very end of the story here um Where Thomas Jane and the sun they're like sleeping and uh the sun wakes up and he wakes Thomas Jane up and he says please You know, whatever happens don't let the monsters get me and You know Thomas Jane promises that he won't let that happen Which you know at the end he keeps that promise but yikes Um, so the small group of people are people people P able did you say that weird or did Skype just make you weird?

I mean I skypied homes you I think Skype made it weird. Oh, I'll go with it. I'll start saying P apple All right, I'll still love these the people that makes that honestly people kind of makes you sound like Stephen Hawking's talk machine P apple Like a speaking spell sure all right, so uh all these people all these people All these are small group of good guys are planning to just leave. They just want to go Um, let's just get let's just go.

Let's just go. Yeah, thanks much again. Harding is just Just swigging milk like a fucking real grosso. That is very funny.

The milks wig. Yeah, she was yeah It's a real powerful Pretty proud what yeah, she was a probably oh boy those those guys, huh? Yeah, they're gone already. Isn't that good are they gone?

I mean, they're like nothing They just I'm embarrassing themselves on tv Right. They kept getting like one guy got punched in the face and the rest of them were like Never mind. Oh, I thought I was I thought the internet trolling brought to real life meant that nobody could touch me. Oh I guess I'm just done and kind of fat Fucking hate everyone.

God damn it. Could you could you just uh, I don't know don't you like Don't you get suspicious when they're like our uniform is khakis we all wear khakis How is it not about race at that point? Not even oh my god, so it's just everything about it like that's a thing is like I don't know. It's so aggressively uncool Right like besides obviously like the awful racism aspect of it Just the whole fucking thing of like now.

We're like we wear khakis Are we drink milk straight from the the carton bunch of real Jim harvahs? You know what I mean? Who's Jim harvah? Oh, do we do we not talk about that?

No, who's that? Um They were playing this on best show. Um, Jim harvah at like a do you know who he is? No Okay, he's a football coach.

I am just gonna. I am just gonna play it because it's very funny. Um, but basically he's doing this press conference and They like let this little kid ask like a pre-planned question And uh here we go here we go. All right, I'm pulling it up How much milk do I have to drink to be big enough to be quarterback?

Can I give you a hug? That is a great question and I love that you're thinking about that Uh drink is much milk as your little belly can hold At all times drink as much milk as your could be chocolate milk could be uh, could be the 2% But the the ideal is the whole milk. That's the ideal as much as your little belly can hold Then the kid just walks away without another word. Wow, that's crazy.

Yeah, that's not nice There's there's no a ban In I forget. I want to say like Billy called milk belly. Oh god Yeah, but it's not even like a novelty ban. They're just called milk belly.

They're just a punk band. They're pretty good Pretty good. Yeah pretty pretty good. Um, so yeah, how do we get it?

Oh, Marsha gay heart and she's a real good bar bar More like Marsha gay bar. Oh, let's go Um, we're burning daylight here. I know I know so okay So our group is trying to get out. Nobody's letting her out and then there Marsha gay harden she said she basically she's like you know We have to there has to be a sacrifice we have to spill blood for you know to appease God and all the shit And which is which is what Thomas jane said what's gonna happen Um, and then then she screams we give us the boy.

We want the boy And and all of these grown fucking people all these adults are like, yeah, that's a good idea We should sacrifice that boy give me the boy What the fucking dummies and then Toby Toby Jones who has the gun? Um, he shoots Marsha gay horn right milk and And then uh square in her brain. It's it's very satisfying It's very satisfying. Um, it feels like the milk is just there for that shot of like her blood in the milk Yeah, um, but I define though.

Honestly, I'm into it. I'm here for the milk. I I love the line though. Toby Jones is like I killed her and then uh Thomas jane.

He's like yeah, thank you And then next time again, and then he's told me Jones says again. He's like I killed her And Thomas jane's like I know that's that's why I said thank you That's That's pretty funny. I do like it kind of like snaps everybody out of it though Um, like this one we get just gets fucking shot right in the dome and everybody's like oh fuck Okay, it's making a strong case for acceleration ism. Yeah, um, just so everybody's not a call to action.

No f fbi we um Uh, so all of our main characters here. They're they're racing out. They're trying to get to tom tomscains, uh truck Um They find it. Toby Jones gets there first.

Um, but of course he's fucked. Um A big big old crab claw comes down and just just gobbles him up. Um, You know, there's all kinds of creepy crawlies out here. Um, what a lot of bad ombres, you know Oh, is this an episode of right turns?

No, I'm just saying there's there's good guys on both sides, all right? Oh, good. No good guys. Oh, you know, you know, you know, you know, in our humans and uh, these uh, uh, these uh, low crafting monsters Yeah, you gotta hear both sides.

Yeah, sure. Hey, look here. We got at least your both sides. Okay We're gonna do this with this With this gigantic many tentacled crab monster did when he was in high school.

I don't see how that's relevant now I don't see why we can't appoint him to one of the highest positions possible in the country for life forever Uh, until he is uh non-existent. That is honestly It's making my stomach turn thinking about this right now. You made it. You made it.

You made it weird. I mean, we're Damn, I would I would take one of these crab monsters. Honestly over I'm on there fucking frat douche Some prep school freak boy. Yes.

Some fuck boy Who just cries while he talks about how much he likes beer? Oh, fuck yourself. This is already like by the time this episode comes out This is like old news. We're already living in no one will remember this.

You know what I only remembered Uh today because Well, is that coco the gorilla died and that was I was like trying to piece together when that might have been It's obviously it's impossible to know for sure, but my best guess is like two weeks ago I I'm just like I feel just like constantly dizzy all the time It's it is it does feel like too much that doesn't it? Like yeah, yeah, I mean I feel like everybody's screaming it at the top of their lungs like this is too much Please, yeah, I agree. Everyone's drinking milk as much milk as their little bellies can hold And worshiping like a dog at the shrine of marsha gay hardens lies The this society is on this carousel that is just speeding up and it won't slow down And everybody's like all right can we slow down? Can we hop off of this just for a minute?

Can we stop this and the the guy working the lever is just like nope going faster It's true. We're uh, we're all carousel people jesus. It's good. The crab monster is gonna be elected to this quick way So crab monster kills back to our podcast about movies Um, yeah, so toby jones dead drops is going on the way up to get eaten Um lands on the hood of tommy strains car You know, they should probably just straight up drive away as fast as possible, but tommy's jane He's like no i'm going for the gun.

We're gonna want that gun trust me. We're gonna want that I got plans for that gun trust me you guys are gonna want the gun You're gonna be glad I did this. Um, so he like yeah, he like reaches out for the gun is spider almost gets him But ultimately they get to they get to drive away Um, they make a quick stop at tommy's jones house just to confirm that his wife has been caught up in a spider web That's oh man, this I mean like obviously this it makes sense, you know That this awful thing happened to his wife, but it is still like a bit jarring because you're like oh well The last time we saw her like she was doing just fine and you know tommy's jane said he's like that And then you think about like you think about that ladies kids like it just like right calls back to that Yeah, andree brouwer who just walked off into the mist and we never saw him again, you know like Oh man, it seems like a long time since we've seen any of these people. Yeah Yeah, go the gorilla spun up in a spider web in this movie His poor wife is just up in a spider web and like, you know, it's obviously it's very Fucking it that's that's some fucking hard shit Yeah Crazy how well they're able to like I don't know sell that moment for a character who was in the movie for about five minutes Yeah, no, you're you're absolutely right.

Um So they you know with that confirmed like without anyone to go try to save they just start driving They're just trying to get out of the friggin mist, you know, I mean, okay. This is like it's so like smart Just like this movie is actually very smart. No, well, not not the movie itself but like the um just I don't know some of the effects and whatever like just them like they're driving through the mist Right, they're driving just like sort of slow rolling through all of these roads and You know, there's like fuck the school bus. Yeah, there's like the school bus There's like the overpass sign that's just down like You know all these things it's almost like an independent film could have done this shit You know what I mean?

Like it's it's like cheap as far as movies go like Um It's just like a room filled with fog and you know, like all right Let's make it like a spooky bus here and like people take down the sign here Well, like I don't know. I think it just really works. I agree. I agree.

It's very effective Um So because like I mean it's it's such a great way to like There's no catharsis of having gotten out of that supermarket. There's just more mist right? Yeah, and you can just barely see That things are bad. Yeah, um, that's good.

It's it's very good. Um I yeah, so but then what happens next I wonder well wait before we go there I love the when they like Uh, they just like they stop in the road and like the car is a shaking and they just see Just the biggest fucking six legged the most fucked up thing. Yeah. Yeah, it's this is the kind of thing The love crappie and like oh, this just broke my brain.

I can't handle anything now Um So also there's a there's another thing during like this whole driving sequence that I really liked Which is that the old man starts to fall asleep and then doesn't Like yeah, that is exactly what you would do you would get real tired, but then you would remind yourself that Yeah, anything absolutely ungodly could happen at any moment. Yeah, not you Um, and this is yeah, and so they they just run out of fuel It's they're still in the middle of the fucking mist like there's nothing to be done about it. Yeah, they're just kind of fucked They're just fucked and They're all looking at each other I guess we not yeah, not trying to get eaten. Yeah, well, there's a thing is like at first It seems like all right.

Well, I guess we could just sit here for a while But then they start hearing shit outside, you know, and they're like, uh, that that seems like a terrible way to die Um, and then old Tommy Jane remembers his promise to his boy his precious boy I've abandoned my son Um, he yeah, he's like hey, I got I got a real crazy idea guys. Stay with me first. Yeah Promise not to laugh. Yeah.

Yeah, don't laugh all right Um, but I like when uh, times jane he looks at jeffrey demon and they don't they don't even say anything But jeffrey demon just like shakes his head. Yes. He's just like that's I can't do this anymore I'm an old man. What am I gonna fight monsters?

Am I gonna be like a monster slayer? No This let's let's let's fucking call this day. Yeah, I'll pack it up. You know, I'll pack it in.

Yeah Um, so basically he basically like looks around takes a takes a quick census You know feels the room like what's everybody? Uh, all right we we all in all right And there's only there's five of them and there's only four bullets. Um, there's the two uh older people jeffrey demon and um, who's the uh, the older woman from mrs Uh, fredges stir hagan um, and then the Rory uh, where he holding and then boy and thomas jane and he's like thomas jane is like i've got four bullets and Somebody's like, well, what are you gonna do? Just assuming that he's not getting one from right?

But he's just like, oh, I figure all right it out. Yeah, I'll figure thank you for asking But the oh my god. This is fucking dark This is some this is so fucking bleak after like after seeing everything in the store and like seeing you know, like innocent good people You know die like poor poor sally, you know, just out in the face. Um, and then our small band of heroes here They make it out And there's nowhere for them to go.

Yeah, and just like well, I guess we just have to die out here God and then so it cuts to like an exterior of the car and like the rhythm of those gunshots is very very well timed I know there's like one unbearable one and then I think like two quick ones and then a slight pause for the last one you just like Yeah, I mean, I don't know. It's like a I don't know you just project onto it. It's very good Oh god I love lorry-holden. Um, you know like Jeffrey de Mon and um, I keep forgetting her name Francis der Hagen just colored girlfriend.

Yeah, girlfriend and uh Jeffrey de Mon in the backseat girlfriend the brows They're obviously like, you know, they're obviously like upset about the situation They're justifiably displeased This is not what I signed up for. I did guys. I did not get in this car just to get shot in there I Um, but they they sort of they they they seem very calm Um, you know with their decision, right? Um lorry-holden is like she's she's crying like she's hysterically sort of crying like she's like she's Shaking, you know, um, I just I thought that was a there's just a nice piece of acting like very I don't know realistic like in in this situation where there is no hope and she's just like I know that this is like the best option To be shot in the head right now.

Right. That's not great. Um, no, no Especially like you've been so busy. You haven't really had time to reckon with any of this.

It's all right. It's going and now Yeah, you're dying moments. You have to Come to terms with the fact that monsters have overtaken and will presumably devour the world. Right.

So But oh my god, so worse though is the so Thomas jane loads the gun right and everybody's sort of like prepared and the boy is sleeping and then he wakes up He wakes up just in time to see his dad pointing a gun at him That's the last thing he could seize and then just shot in the fucking head Um, so they're all dead cut back into the car Thomas jane is uh, you know reacting the way you'd expect Is a real nick cage and mandy moment. Oh, I didn't see that yet. So come on. I know I know two weeks now two weeks I I do two podcast weeks I love this uh this bit from uh Thomas jane though like his his like breakdown here Uh, it's very good.

Um, just you know, well, he's one of the greats one of the greats, um cage pachino jane Um, I love like he's you know, he's yelling and screaming and he grabs the gun and sticks in his mouth and just keeps pulling the trigger You know just like maybe maybe I can shake one loose Yeah, that last drop of water in your class Yeah, so he's just like okay He gets out of the car and he just starts screaming and he just wants to be taken by these monsters, you know And oh god. He hears he hears the like a fucking thing coming and he's ready to accept it and it's it's a tank with uh some military some military guys on it and just uh fucking Soldiers everywhere and a big one of those like evacuation buses filled with people and hey One of the people on the bus is uh that woman from the beginning of the movie that had kids at home that needed to get home And nobody would take her and she made it out with her kids just fine great. That's nice It's also very fucked up, but it's uh, it's nice. I am glad someone comes out comes out on top here Yeah, um and then Thomas jane just sort of falls to his knees and Screaming to himself and like he's screaming and like a couple soldiers like just sort of like come up from behind And they don't say anything, but it's the vibe is like hey buddy.

You okay? What's going on? Um Yeah, I have to imagine that you know and then basically what we see is like the mist has dissipated The military has taken back control and they're burning all of these like pods and all these creatures and all this shit They're just you know taking care of all of it and uh and then just cuts the credits They uh they lock the gates. They lock the gates.

Yeah, um, I have to imagine though that Thomas jane doesn't make it Much longer after the credits rolled out He yeah, I think it's pretty done. Yeah, I mean I'd be wiped myself. It sounds like a lot Frankly a good alternate title for this movie would have been it's a lot. Yeah, um, you want to break open some seggies?

Oh segments Is all that hurts my parts. Uh, hey, maybe you're new to the show. You don't know what the fuck you just heard Turns out it's oh that hurts my parts. Uh, rob and I each take a turn and we say what about this movie?

Uh heard our parts so to speak Rob. Mm-hmm. What hurt your parts? I mean I really like this movie.

Um boy. I know I got it You're such a kiss ass The only thing that really hurts my parts here is uh those silly bug faces. Um, come on that bothered you less than Marcia gay harden Honestly, it did Marcia gay harden. I think is like the character is uh, it's probably a little out of place here But I don't think like within the context of this story and like, you know, steven king's world It's not crazy for him to have like a you know, a religious crackpot here.

I almost expected it. Yeah, I know it's I get it. I do get it. It's just like in a bottle movie like I don't know It's fucking annoying.

It's annoying as shit and I don't need like I don't need you to like any commentary Give me the cosmic heart Yeah, that's yeah reasonable. We need a villain. We need somebody who's like an antagonist within the store nut It can't just be monsters outside. It has to be monsters from within dan No, it doesn't Oh, all right.

It actually doesn't it doesn't the movie that ends with a guy having to kill his own kid doesn't we don't need that piece We don't need it Um, I don't know for me. Well, I'll tell you what hurt my parts Marc fucking marsh gay hard man and not her like she was fine. It's just the writing of that whole thing really bugged me Just very we live in a society, you know, yeah Do you think? All right, I don't all right.

I have to throw something out there and it's totally half-baked because I just sort of thought it Um, do you think that thomas jane is kind of like a job figure? I was thinking about that. Yeah, um because I don't know So marsh gay hardens whole fucking like her character is very annoying the whole time, but She does have a point I would say Um, some of the things that like that happen, you know to To hurt like I won't put when the bugs are all in the store one of them like lands on her And it like looks in her face and it just like flies off it doesn't doesn't sting her doesn't you know attack her at all Um And then once they kill that soldier, um, she says they're the monsters won't come tonight and they don't right and then what's the name? Toby Jones shoots her in the head and he is immediately killed Um, and interesting this is interesting and then well and then if I can thomas jane here, right?

Um like his wife is killed right by the monsters But he has the only thing he has really are these people that are in the car and really just his son and He kills all of them. Um, and it's only after he kills his son that the mist completely dissipates and you know Everything is saved. So you think this was that was like challenge completed? No, well, not necessarily You know, probably could have waited five minutes before shooting everybody in the head, but um, you know, uh, it might be might be Something no, I think there's something to it.

I've also given this like zero thoughts. I don't really I also don't know anything about the bible I also I also do not I know very little. I know the joke It's it's a pretty raw deal. Um, and it's all because of god.

Yeah, making making deals with the devil. Um, okay, so Um, is god them the military industrial complex man? No, that are god Man, I think that god is uh, is just is just the old testament god. He's like real real vengeful real vengeful real mean Uh, yeah, I think there's something to be something to what you're saying.

Just don't know anything. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I like it Yeah, um, so if that's if that happens to be the case Masha any moment.

No, uh, marty gay hardens character is not uh, is not that crazy in that out of place within this movie. Yeah, yeah Okay, yes, I still stand by her being terrible, but you you sold me on a little bit. I'm willing to concede. Yes shining moments Shining moments of course is the opposite of how that hurts my part.

Uh rob What what was your shining moment? All right. Um, and just as a reminder, you're talking about the mist. Oh, all right.

Um, scratch that off your notepad Uh, let's say I One and it's like it's a simple thing, but when that biker gets uh, like he's tied to the rope and the rope gets pulled and like oh hell Yeah, when he's a half guy Yeah, when he's a half guy but before you even see that when it's getting like it's getting pulled when it goes like up into the air and the people are like What the fuck is you know? Like this was attached to the guy and now it would appear that that guy has to be 40 feet up in the air for this rope to Be doing that. Like what is going on? Yeah, it's very it's very funny to like, you know Hiting the height in the story with a literal like upward trend line.

Yeah, right. It's just like here is the rising action of your movie Yeah, um, I like the just it's all it's just a real simple thing Um, again, it's like it's almost like this movie had you know, it's mental of its money on like creatures and we're like We gotta we gotta cut corners. Let's just do the rope thing. We gotta cut corners.

Let's I don't know hire Thomas jane Got him. Yeah I just like it. What about you? What's your what's your shining moment buddy?

You know, it's that guy on fire Um, it is it's that guy on fire. That's my favorite part. No, honestly, I think uh, I like that part I also like Sally's death. I thought that was uh very effective so that it works.

So sad It can't stress this and the least believable thing about that is that her name is Sally. I buy a bug That big with a human teeth. I just don't buy their name Sally while it happens. Um, yeah, that's my shining moment Uh, I believe we got we got a few more here.

Does that bring us to king tropes king tropes? In the book. I'm working on now. This is fucking drop.

That is not the king trope song. Oh my god. I'm sorry. Hold on.

Do you have it? Yeah, okay. I work hard on that. You know, I know I know I forget.

It's been a while. It's okay. Um, king tropes King tropes Is What What's the way you want it to? What's it always gonna be a great?

You just need to trust this So to what line do you guys I Just I always forget that Oh boy. All right king tropes a lot of fun as well. That is fun. Yeah, I forgot.

It's fun I was worried it would just be annoying, but it's also fun in addition to being annoying Um king tropes. Uh, this is just uh, we're going look. He's got a bag of tricks, right? You got only got so many tricks in your bag any writer does Uh, here's where we catalog the ones we've seen at least once before to make the rope.

It's a rule Can't read the book. We don't talk about the book and to mix the trope. So we got a, um, mixed family at the end of a series of horrors That's right one. Uh, faux Christian monster worshiping death cult a lot of kids.

Yep. Um, it's a bottle movie Love that. Um, my favorite obviously driving a great distance only to die. Um, everybody in that car Drives the drove until they ran out of gas.

Yeah, and uh, we're just like, oh trips over Done. Yep Done. So also, um, koojo was in the movie No, I wasn't the movie. Oh, um, but you know who may have been in the movie.