81 | The Myth of Your Former Self

⚡️Click Here To Text Monique!In this episode, Monique examines the struggle many women face when longing to reconnect with a former version of themselves. She addresses the common longing of wanting to "get back" to who they used to be, exploring the nuances of this desire in the context of new life chapters. Through an insightful coaching conversation with a woman who feels lost after stepping back from her career to raise her child, Monique highlights the challenges of balancing motherhood with personal aspirations.Tune in to hear the full conversation and gain practical steps to reignite your creativity and confidence while walking through your individual journey.LINKSYouTube channel Join Monique’s NewsletterGEMS DROPPED“In ​retrospect, ​when ​you ​get ​to ​this ​stage ​of ​life ​and ​you ​have ​children ​and ​your ​priorities ​change, ​your ​rhythms ​change, you ​sometimes ​miss ​parts ​of ​yourself ​​that ​felt ​less ​​encumbered, ​that ​felt ​like ​you ​had ​less ​constraints.”“You're ​never ​going ​​to ​be ​unencumbered ​the ​way ​that ​you ​were ​10, ​15, ​20 ​years ​ago. ​Wherever ​that ​version ​of ​you ​is ​that ​you're ​looking ​back ​to, ​she's ​not ​coming ​back. She's ​never ​going ​to ​come ​to the present ​day ​to ​rescue ​you ​from ​this, ​your ​current ​context ​and ​the ​current ​place ​that ​you ​feel ​stuck ​in.”“​It's ​not ​that ​we ​necessarily ​have ​to ​resent ​where ​we're ​at ​today, ​but ​when ​we ​want ​to ​go ​forward ​and ​we ​don't ​feel ​like ​we ​have ​the ​tools ​that ​we ​need ​today, ​we'll ​reach ​backward ​to ​a ​version ​of ​ourselves ​that ​cannot ​help ​us ​in ​our ​new ​context. ​I ​do ​love ​connecting ​with ​former ​versions ​of ​ourselves ​in ​some ​instances, ​but ​she ​can't ​be ​the ​captain ​of ​this ​ship. ​You're ​the ​captain ​now. ​She ​was ​equipped ​for ​the ​season ​that ​she ​came ​through. ​She’s ​obviously ​laid ​some ​groundwork ​for ​you ​to ​be ​who ​you ​are ​today. ​​But ​we ​can't ​go ​back ​searching ​for ​that ​version ​of ​ourselves ​to ​fully ​direct ​where ​we're ​going ​next.”“We cannot ​compare ​our ​capacity ​or ​our ​experience ​or ​our ​own ​energy ​to ​that ​of ​other ​people. We ​all ​have ​different ​boundaries ​and ​limitations ​and ​you ​should ​be ​assessing ​that ​on ​an ​individual ​basis. ​If ​you ​want ​to ​push ​through, it's ​an ​individual ​assessment and ​you ​understand ​how ​you ​want ​to ​define ​the ​bounds ​of ​limitation ​for ​yourself.” “You ​can ​​at ​the ​end ​of ​the ​day, ​write ​down ​one ​thing ​that ​you ​found ​beautiful ​or ​inspiring ​or ​unique ​or ​curious. ​What's ​one ​little ​thing ​to ​begin ​to ​train ​your ​brain ​​to ​focus ​on ​a ​little ​bit ​more, ​to ​begin ​to ​grow ​that ​relationship, ​to ​begin ​to ​feel a connection to creativity ​again. ​It ​can ​be ​small. ​These ​things ​don't ​have ​to ​be ​grand. Oftentimes ​it ​is ​just ​these ​little ​small ​commitments, ​these ​very ​simple ​revelations ​that ​we ​just ​have ​to ​respond ​to ​that ​will ​make ​all ​the ​difference. ​It's ​those ​incremental ​things ​over ​time. That ​is ​how ​people ​win.”STAY IN TOUCHCome and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields or YouTube and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].