83:: Self-care, self-help, and self-growth could be ruining your friendships (The research behind self improvement and social sabotage)

In this episode, Dr. Kelsy Vick, board-certified orthopedic and pelvic floor physical therapist, explores how our culture of “healing” might be making us more self-focused than connected. Inspired by Gloria Alamrew’s essay “Healing Is Making Us Mean,” Kelsy examines the balance between personal growth and community care.In this episode:How “therapy language” and boundary-setting can strain friendshipsWhat research says about self-care, loneliness, and prosocial behaviorThe role of privilege in who gets to “heal” and focus on wellnessWhy meaningful connection requires inconvenience, conflict, and careHow to practice self-work that strengthens, not isolates, relationshipsA thoughtful conversation on the fine line between self-care and self-centeredness—and how true healing helps us show up better for others.Resources:https://substack.com/home/post/p-176689615 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39688189/ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/17499755231157440?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5429736/?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8488814/?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4026714/?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://elke-u-weber.com/media/198_2021_journalofappliedsocpsych_schneider?utm_source=chatgpt.com NEAP Protein: www.neapfoods.com Safely Sidekick: https://livesafely.co/collections/shop?sca_ref=9777170.frkGJ3QbENCk (or use code DRKELSY)Grab your very own Stakt Mat & Accessories for 10% off your order while also supporting the pod! (Thank you so much!):: https://shopstakt.com/?rave=DAW65UTUF4VNG7OVThorne Website:: https://s.thorne.com/Zgk7YMy Thorne Dispensary & Recs:: https://www.thorne.com/u/drkelsyvickdptMessage me for 35% off your Thorne orders!loving the pod? click the follow button, & we'd love if you could leave a review! thank you x 1000 :) sign up for the free Wellness Girl Chats newsletter!Want a peak into what it is like building this business, the podcast interviews, and all things female founder BTS? sign up for the free Firstborn Daughter Diaryinsta:: @dr.kelsyvickdpt & @wellnessbigsispodyoutube:: @dr.kelsyvickdpttiktok:: @dr.kelsyvickdpt & @wellnessbigsispodsign up for our patreon for exclusive content & workouts!00:00- 00:17 Intro00:18- 01:28 Introduction: The Shift in Healing Culture01:29- 02:40 Personal Journey and Reflections02:41- 04:31 The Dichotomy of Self-Care and Relationships04:32- 06:33 The Privilege of Self-Care06:34- 07:49 Exploring the Research on Self-Care and Relationships (Part 1)07:49- 08:24 Safely08:24- 13:26 Exploring the Research on Self-Care and Relationships (Part 2)13:27- 18:00 Practical Insights and Boundaries in Friendships18:01- 19:25 Conclusion: Embracing Messy FriendshipsMentioned in this episode:Live Safely Sidekick