83 - Woke Daddy (with Tom Hill)

Real good real good real good really good your big roti real good earlier. Really good real good real good real good really good with Good ladies and gentlemen, hello welcome to another edition of America's best worse Canadian sports podcast That's right. Real good shows back at it again for episode number 83 an episode that I want to say It's probably like one of the top three players to play for the Edmonton Oilers in the last decade or so easily But like I don't know. I was just looking at his career stats, and it doesn't really bear that out Well, no, so be McDavid.

Yes, and then Hall and then ever Lee Smith Smith Smith would be a bit of a bit of a head of empty for sure Oh, yeah, it's a short list but that's he's on there. Yeah, and he's like top five Yeah, you got one season where he had 77 points And that was the year that they went to the Cup final the rest of his years though are like 40 Yeah, he was a pretty like standard like third line guy that you went with first line talent. Yeah, yeah I thought you're gonna say this is the episode that will score the tangle after the worst miss in NHL history I guess yeah, there was that too I don't know I was just thinking that he was really good and then I looked at his dad's and was like well not so much I mean 77 points injured a lot. Yeah, but 77 points and I close at two thousand and Five two thousand that's pretty good.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, some of these seasons are like 22 games 38 games. Yeah, that's a lot of injuries Regardless what a way to start the show Justin Morris that with you once again with me as always is seven heck John Cohen and with us for this very special episode is My name is Tom Hill.

Hey Tom Hill. Hi. It's going pretty well comedian and provider writer extraordinaire Tom Hill human being of a medium quality That's the kind of guests we like you will fit right in. Yeah, you got a couple You got a couple of average bros in here.

We're all just average bros good news guys We do have a third question of the week and this might be the this might be the first this might be number one All right, well, you may not do I always be a secret from me. I don't want to know about perfect. Yeah, I'm happy not to know I get can I know about it sure that's right here. You can see it.

Yeah, this is a big day though We're burying the lead here. Are you sure you don't want to know about it? Yeah? Yeah, no, we'll get there I'll save it for a time.

It's really is today is as we record March 14th, which is a very important day. This is the sound of Work sitting each other because we're about to eat some motherfucking pie We're the only brought three I only have three clean forks. Oh, yeah Or even like a shred of generosity I definitely don't have that no plates either. No, we're just gonna eat it on the boxy fine Savages, what do you think this is like a musical chairs type scenario?

Here's three forks for four humans. Yes, we have been running this bit now for a full year, which is I guess so we haven't done it for a while Yeah, it comes up like a pretty terrible bit people ask for it to come back on Twitter Yeah, as you know, it's not a bit it is very much it's a real against the law. Yeah to eat pie on any day other than March 14 Yeah, cuz March so March 14th if you look at it like numerically it's the third month of the year and it's the 14th day of that month And the math thing concept brought some fucking pie PIs 3.14 we are Tom which kind would you like strawberry rebarber Apple? Oh, he's got a knife No, I love both a lot of piece of both.

I take a bit of both Thanks. It's pie day here. Yeah, so so again, it's like a pun kind like there's pie is a math concept Pie is the dessert you can eat and so people call it you know pie day and they eat pie on that day Because again, I believe we started by making fun of these people. Oh, yeah We also had the incident after our live show where Sam Anderson was arrested for eating pie.

Oh, yeah, she brought one Yeah, that was a huge disaster. We're talking about live show or the pie itself The pumpkin pie which is my least favorite pumpkin pie in like September too. It's a little too early I'll do well now every time we've gotten together for like some sort of social occasion like watching the Super Bowl or what have you and it's Instance where someone should bring something for a group gathering. I have offered to bring pie and been refused every time Which is what I wanted to get a rest in a session.

Okay, right? Which if you said yes, I would have called the cops and you know, well, yeah, we're not just like a spooner of forked I'd like a fork. Okay You came on a great day like you're getting treated better than any guest we've ever had We've never had more stuff at the table Box from Beatty Justin what's a bead for Fox? It's beady.

It's beady. I call him beady Very anal about what you call him his name is be all right. He's also very anal in the sense that he is a virgin and he only has sex And ask for God. Oh, right?

Oh, okay. Oh, I see okay You can have sex and ass and it's not losing your virginity for the Lord. Yeah Definitely doesn't make sense, but well, I mean sometimes you're lucky enough to get to go from pie I don't know the one that's least like an ass Apple I think strawberry blue bar was way more ask flavor. I don't know You know You're cutting in as there's a discussion of the sound that eating pie into a microphone.

Yeah, but we like actively hate our listeners So he's a pie in the microphone all the time so much so that Kevin Dan or subtweeted our show one time saying I hate when people eat It's a microphone. I mean, it's not a pie so much. I'm not a sittles. Yeah, it's gonna make skills a lot I got mini eggs on the table here too.

Justin what flavors I'll go both also I live it up. I don't know how I got suckered into this role of cutting everyone It's your house your company or play Tom don't feel like you are listeners anything because you don't eat that pie directly into the microphone This is wonderful hot start to know I'm loving this well the pie itself is actually cold. Yeah I guess we should heat it up in the oven first. That's fine That's what people normally hate.

I don't usually eat pie I mean one of those things where it's like the afternoon and we don't really have much time You know, I mean, it's like you only have so much time to eat this pie I also don't have like whipped cream or anything. Yeah, so but in any case Oh, you get to use a spoon a I'm gonna use a spoon because that's how generous I am I gave all you guys But I don't think I like strawberry rebar, but I'm just gonna try it I don't try it even if you disregard the fact of the microphone just wearing headphones like we'd buy makes the most disgusting You just learn that right now. Yeah, what is that? Sorry coming from my own face.

I think that was me actually I think it was my own mouth You know, it's like when you're close closed off. Yeah, but you're eating like into the microphone No, no, I just mean you know when you eat and you got headphones in and there's like an internal Oh, I know it makes sense. Yeah, I thought you were like purposely eating into the opera of your own mouth Hey, the the buschini. Hey guys, listen, I'm here.

I don't get it. It's an opera. Okay, I get it Puccini is a very famous and bush is the mouth and frankly, yes, I try and fuck Listen someone has to have culture on their show nice. I eat pie I would have gone with the deflator mouth myself, but later mouth.

What do you do that? What's that a reference to deflator? Mouse except what is the later mouse? It's like the opera that they were watching in Batman Your reference is the only opera reference.

I can't mention other opera where I'm parents are killed after I think so. I can't believe that wasn't the word like the opera wasn't the worst thing that happened that night It was like the death after Yeah, no, I did I'm just think that opera's not bad. Well, it's like the that's like a writer of Batman It's like okay. Okay.

I've got this great idea when I said I seen an opera. What are they title operas? Deflator mouse that sounds like a real opera Oh, oh, it's like no, it is an opera. Oh my god.

The way Justin's pronouncing it. It's actually German Yeah, deflator Yeah, you know it sounds like no it sounds like deflator mouse You did sound like deflator like deflator like deflator Yeah, well, I knew what I was talking about My problem So the mouse in the opera does it go into what a balloon and suck at all the air? What's the oh what's the story? Oh, it's the later mouse is German for bat.

Yes, D is German for that Yeah, but he's saying if we were to wear a for the bat Yeah, or the bat the revenge of the I think it I think deflator mouse is a opera that takes place obviously the dead mouse concert And it's a mouse that comes on afterwards and calms down the crowd I'm gonna take things down a bit. Yes exactly these kids are all hopped up on poof pills. They just put just performs an opera Yeah, I love very calm a dead mouse opera. I'm super into it It's an opera based on art speed lens graphic novel mouse that really brings the crowd down work as an opera probably are you guys pumped up?

Yeah, how about the Holocaust? I like the the pixies rock opera debaster mouse. It's pretty good, too I guess it's a flater me in the flying yeah Really nailed it So many pie chewing sounds in my ears are you loving this time? I'm loving it Let's uh we have to do an ad if we're gonna go see Later mouse live I think by the way to get we've figured out why pie is illegal the rest of the year because it's just so disgusting to hear people I mean, I guess eating the microphone.

It's pretty good though. Oh, the pie itself is good Yeah, the whole the sounds are not Yeah, if we were to buy tickets to see the better mouse and the post performance of deflator mouse We all know there's only one place where you would want to go to buy tickets and that is of course the seat geek mobile app Even more so than see geek calm which is a fine place to buy them as well because seat geek is the smartest way to find hockey tickets this season There's nothing like being behind the glass for the biggest matchups of the year and with see it's never been easier to get the guaranteed seats You want for a great value. We all have the seat geek apps on our phones. There's some shows coming up you do right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, obviously no But oh boy am I gonna get you get it you get $20 off your first purchase promo code real there you go It's by far the easiest way to buy concert or sporting tickets to a hockey game to a football game Yeah, I guess there's comedy shows on there big ones. Yeah Like maybe not to see like John at yuck yuck sir. I'm just saying but John it just for laughs. Oh, no trail probably yes And with the seat geek you always get the best deal on every ticket because they price compare for you by searching multiple ticket sites Price is can vary depending on where you shop But seek equally always find the lowest available price and they want to help you get the most bang for your buck That's why every ticket on there is given a grade based on value You'll immediately see an under priced seats any under priced seats and be able to find the best deals that fit your budget plus every ticket You buy on seek is backed by their 100% guarantee you will never be left out in the cold You can always shop for tickets on seek with confidence and best of all our listeners get a $20 rebate off their first seek purchase to get your $20 rebate All you need to do is download the seek eat mobile app Go to the settings tab and click add a promo code and a promo code real good And they will send you $20 after you've made your first purchase so download the seeky gap and into the promo code real good today Very nice very nice.

This is a really excellent excellent read Justin. Thank you at one point for the listeners at home Justin was leaned back welcoming us in physically with his voice and body Absolutely he wants everyone he's a pro's pro it's it's the ad copy seems really long to the point where I'm like maybe we're only supposed to read like Part of it. They said it's 60 seconds, but it's definitely like two and a half That was one time that out at the seeking head office. Yeah, that was one of our shorter ones, too Yeah, that's a short ten minute aside of different concert festivals.

We've gone to over the years We just have we just have lots to get to today. I do have a quick aside. Please. Please.

I just went to a careful Like don't yeah, oh, it's not about seeking it's about seats. Okay. Okay. I'm trying to go to Toronto Maple Leafs hockey game in in the city of Toronto And I attempted to scalp tickets illegally.

Okay, so tough sliding right off the bat Yeah, we end up finding these tickets this guy this guy the scalper outside We're like worried if they're real tickets his we're like are these real like how do we know he's like come on? My name is Bob. I'm right. I'm right.

I'm here. I'm out here. Okay, my name's Bob. I'm like I'm I'm I'm both like, okay, okay?

He told his first name, which is of course Bob the most generic name in the location Which is just right here I was just in Cuba. I'm here now everything's fine. Like it just he said that we were actually convinced by that anyway We go in see talk together. They weren't together big big bummer.

So you didn't know like We're totally cut up totally cut up it end up being fine because the staff at the ACC. Wow so good But the issues like well, they are actually a pair. They're just not together It's like a it's like a season ticket holder pair, but he couldn't get them together so they're like diagonal from each other He's like I'll get you guys where you like close to each other though. Yeah, yeah, okay.

Yeah, I mean not side by side Right, right. They were you talk to each other like well, they ended up sorting us out. Okay, so in this time I said it honestly staff at the ACC really good. We got a free drink of free popcorn and this usher sort of stuff Wow, it was amazing.

That sounds great. I love the maple leaves and I'm glad you do too I'll never see anything like that bless the beautiful boys and Rogers arena. No, you know they kicked you out I'm gonna see sir separate get the fuck out of here. You know what where'd you get these tickets?

You get them for Bob? Get out of here. I'll tell you some right now Bob's already in Cuba No, he gave me his pin I have it right here. He pinned himself outside the stadium.

He said he's still here We gotta thank a donor we do we do because he's not the only people helping us out here at the show No, we do have a new donor this week I'm not even gonna play the theme song because I feel like that would be longer than just thanking him He liked the theme song I think you specifically mentioned the theme specifically said can you play it seven times in a row like Edward's in Paris like Kanye and Jay? I mean I could technically do that well you can just drop it in well if you want well you can play right now Tom I like to hear it. I have heard it and I like it He wants to hear the live cut what's that makes the same oh? That was like the joke.

Yep, that was terrible Wow. Well, I did I fell for it in like a bad way That's fair so I like I just noticed because we're all very aware of the pie eating Tom Tom just blew on his pie before he took a bite No, just anticipating you know, you did I saw that no I did it 100% blue on your bite of pie you you you cool it on the blow watching Blow watch done. Sorry. That's all I'm here for to watch for blowing.

Oh, yeah, there we go Thank you for donating to the show to the show You work hard for your money that we know that we know the segments where we read out all your names We say it wrong your parents are to blame Fuck that was good right yeah, it is better when you're I guess you're right Thank you, but thank you to the Florida Panthers for donating $20 to our show for another show Thomas Tran Former guest on this program who can never appear on this program ever again I would assume as well he's the PR manager what if you want to come on and like talk about the Like in charge of that sort of yeah, I think you should get us a panther on the show. Yeah, if anything stop fucking around Tom I want Jonathan Marsha so on the show right away. I'm like a real panther. He is a real panther I'm not gonna be animal.

Oh, yeah, let's get a real panther on the show. Thank you make that happen to he's a very well connected he's very well In the NHL even despite the fact that I insulted nearly every time yeah first yes We've ever had on this show absolutely now works for an NHL team so Tom alright You can dream about the future in the NHL the blue jackets may come call it Absolutely absolutely hip bang in the blue jackets all I've ever wanted to do is live in Columbus, Ohio That's like a college town. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we are now officially subsidized by the Florida Panthers And I do appreciate that very much Tom your $20 is noted now And to any other people out there who haven't donated yet Of course you would have missed out on this past week's mailbag episode which included a call to donate so that Stefan can afford to purchase a real doll of himself And fuck it. Yeah, well, okay, let's I mean I kind of want to walk back the whole this in context Conforming there is going to be well this is real it wouldn't be me for it would be us purchasing it Yes, but then you would be fucking we would store it here Yeah, I guess you probably don't want Irene to listen to that male big episode She wants to have like a no, no, I think she said it's not gonna like sweat We got a good dick on it.

I sweat a lot. I want to get this off right in my oh, you're gonna go class it I want to be realistic here. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, no, but so you guys are Real $800 yeah, I don't want to we do need our paper.

No, no, no, it's 3800 Life-sized sex doll in your likeness. Yes, $6,800 Has a like a working anus. I mean we were like called the whole thing off It's not all it mentioned was the it has like a seven inch like mouth or this going on It's called like the penis seven inch deep. Yeah, yeah, not wide.

Oh, fuck yeah, but then just 17 feet That's not fucked up. No, I think else about this is fact up at all So this is all very horrible I don't want to walk back the whole fucking apart and maybe if we get to like 7800 I'll fuck it. No, okay, so you're just selling out The listeners like that. No, we still need to raise $5,900 a month for this I don't think you should add more to that stretch goal.

I'm absolutely I'm the one I fuck it, so I'm gonna have a thousand dollars do it anyway So that you said you were looking forward to fucking that well, you know what that was off the record He couldn't wait to fuck it. I don't know about that. That is that's pushing it. Okay, so enough about that Well, it's gonna happen.

I want to we obviously don't need to help make that. Yes, please donate we obviously went through a feud on the show and And your key 21 felt terrible that you guys committed a despicable act and opened his car Well, I mean it was kind of his fault because they're so cool So he decided he decided to send me his my own exclusive gift to open on the show And so that's what's happening right now So this is just a one-time return of the John world order. I hope it's a gift card to a liquor store Actually, maybe I should should I have the music playing in the background? I do this music the JW O theme.

Oh, yeah, that music is great. Yeah, it's awesome Yeah, so let's get this going here and you know Perfect so yeah, so for those of you that haven't been listening We had a big feud these guys betrayed me and opened something on the show without me and your key sent me a package So here we go. This is great for stickers of space jam I Don't know where he found me three packs of space jam stickers It's almost like there'd be one pack each if you guys had not betrayed me There's no letter attached to that at all no just a white piece of paper completely blank completely blank Okay, oh, that's like that white piece of paper just to throw off anyone who might be yeah stealing the space jam stickers Okay, so this is obviously one piece of a monster and then this is a They're just they're just movie scenes. Oh, this is wow that Stefan you can actually put that on your computer if you want That's pretty much a perfect computer one.

Yeah. Oh, there's some temporary tattoos Jordan's tune squad and then yeah the rest are just regular scenes from the movie This is awesome by the way. Thank you so much your key for giving me something to open on my own Oh, I've already I've got a glittery sticker in here. I really like I hope it's low-lanaked We've all talked about Oh my gosh, this is apparently Just a rabbit is not a rabbit, you know, she's actually are you arguing in favor of low-low?

This is the this is the bugs bunny is horny package So first is a sticker of bugs with hard eyes and the next one is Dark turn. Yes, that's the bugs bunny is why I think yeah, and then this is oh, maybe this is the top part of the monster. Yes, it is Oh So we got a complete monster set there and then I've got the little bug guy. That's really glittery very cute This is I believe what the monster's look like before they become like And then this one we've got Michael Jordan at the psychologist Michael Jordan just standing there Michael Jordan and Tweety Oh, wow another horny that's where his dick is by the way.

Yeah, absolutely and then Michael Jordan and a monster. Oh, baby Over I think these are temporary tattoos or two stickers on one pack. Oh, yeah, it's stickers She's one of them. She's just legitimately bending over.

That's hot. Let me see that. Yeah, you get in there You put that one on your computer. So thank you very much.

You're key. These are awesome stickers I really appreciate it take a look at that and Justin we've got something else open we do our good friend B. From B. Times this came all the way from Australia, which was very expensive the shipping alone on this cost fifty eight dollars And in the future be just give us fifty eight dollars But this is the first time we've received like a full-on parcel like this Yeah, and the value in the box is actually less than the shipping.

Yeah, which all told was a good sign was a hundred dollars Oh my god We have a instruction manual for NHL hockey 94 for Sega Genesis is signed by a bunch of autographs on the back in the notes section Which is a little strange to me, but yeah, he'll obviously tell us who that signed by there's some candy in here We've got Tim Tams nice like a chocolate covered wafer one of them and it is brothers It does look like we've got banana flavored tic-tacs that I have minion faces on them Absolutely themed tic-tac That's what I used to open the box We've got a baseball sort of thing here going on that's oh, it's a cricket Surprise cricket ball officially licensed by the BBL and KFC There are team tattoos and a collector toy inside it also includes candy so do you want to open this cricket ball? Yeah, and this is a this podcast is a clear. This is an unboxing podcast. Yeah, I'll just opening small toys Yeah, that's not our fault that people send us this shit.

Yeah, they want to get this game all the way from Australia I never had it either, but they're obviously people really like it for vitality. I'm sure it's gonna be good for you Fuck good with it. Absolutely. We do have a set of trading cards here.

It's like really heavy for how small it is They're final fantasy cards final fantasy. Yeah trading card game Opus one and this pack has already been opened He stuck some cards of another It's like a turducken we have a cori Perry shiny card We have a Frederick Anderson shiny hockey Importance 2015 16 collector set ready and this one actually is from the final fantasy deck. It is the Sure a chuck-a-boe chick Chuck-a-boe. Yeah, I just wanted to say it the riding the Ride in final fantasy center at least So yeah, you can look through those back in the back in the cricket ball world this KFC themed cricket balls Has no KFC in it Some kind of soft tiny man Man, that's like good boy.

Is he like a bowler? Is he supposed to be a guy? Okay? He's bowling and then pretty much nothing else some some reading material and a bunch of whatever white balls Tiny white balls, maybe this is where it can be chicken's come from yeah, yeah We've got a DVD in here only two dollars.

Okay, and a domo Paulo cultural film called Corrado Blood is never simple rank your carado. That's a great one. I'm only two dollars. So not quite free the carado is free now Yes, that's true finally been free.

All right, and is that boys in here? Oh, I'm gonna go pop vinyl More toys in here We got a bunch of plastic little wrestling guys rubber wrestlers in a wrestling place that the fun go at the suicide squad joker is amazing We've had a Jared leto's actually been a guest on the show twice. Yeah, that's a reference to we also have a magazine here Which is what's new in the season 2017 for the AFL? Oh, yeah, so how's your rules football?

Oh, it's for fantasy Australian rules football fantasy league yeah, all of the expert tips bargain buys and player profiles to help you win your AFL fantasy You know 2017 let's join an AFL fantasy league and we'll just use that then it always surprises me How many people on my Twitter timeline are watching the AFL? Felt kicks ass and the final is so much fun. So many people like to final every year It was really really fun. Well, you always fall like I always have realizing I'm falling a lot more Australian than like I originally intended So I'm how slipped over to Australian quote.

Exactly. Well, it's important But the AFL is great. It's important for Australia and like New Zealand to your feed I'm good. So if you're like awake at like four in the morning, there's a lot of tweeting Yeah, those are really banana.

Yeah, I gotta gotta get a big shout out to be What is his name? Thanks be table is covered in crap. Yeah, Tom. This is you're getting a real insight into what you can add that to your Five collection for sure.

I don't really want that around Yeah, I mean it fits in on top of your arcade machine. It definitely does. Yeah, so it's so funny that he sent these banana flavored tiktacks before like we just talked about that on the old bonus episode. Yeah, so if you have a very banana, I'll tell you If you haven't subscribed to the patreon you can just talk about banana flavored stuff.

It tastes exactly like the banana medicine This table is a graveyard of inexpensive shit Oh, I'm gonna flip through this magazine. I think that we did come here to talk about sports today Well, I guess well, we can we'll be we got to touch on the you know McIntyre yes, that was our like sports thing for this week and then I got a clip of the week We still have the the desert storm cards. Oh, yes speaking of the right kind of like run through those speaking of trading cards We do have might as well open some more shit. Yeah people seem a pack of desert storm trading cards here This is basically yes becoming an unboxing podcast becoming yeah Firmly is Beautiful Welcome to the show great to be here.

Thank you for being here You have to tell like a good joke for every single time. Oh, you're an improv guys before we get into what cards are in there. Oh, yeah We have a DJ drop. We have a custom DJ drop for this right and some moment of silence Come on the wheel spinning these banana tiktacks are not good, but I'm going back for round No before we buy the real doll we should get any computer.

It's time to open some motherfucking desert storm trading cards Hell fucking yeah That was worth waiting for yeah, yeah, I got you all fired up. Let's talk about military cards nothing disturbing about that The first one gonna be fun to make a joke about this bombs Just bombs just a picture of Justin doing stand up. Oh Look out You know it's a bunch of bombs as a guy looks like he's sort of caressing a bomb on the back Let's see the back. Oh he is like getting in there.

Yeah, like a step in with a lifestyle stuff and all Well getting getting warmed up his hand isn't inside of it. So we we don't we don't know that I Like that there's a card that just says bombs on it. That's great. That implies there's one that just has guns Yeah, I really why really hope we get a gun's bullets.

Yeah military skill survival Fucking survival you got a great so breathing is also one of the skill breathing We're consuming a mix of liquids and solid it's a photo of a book that says survival Read at this Jacket That's a sleeveless jacket Government oh president okay, okay, hold on too conceptual so it's in a government category and the specific is president and cabinet So it's the I guess it's the US government. Yeah, that is dick He's on the cart you've changed up. That's a card. That's great card.

Wow. Yeah, come on white guys as well And looks like some some parlor snacks. Oh Just in the table there being the president is about having small ramekins of snacks Because it comes back to the number one rule survive. I do like He has the nameplate that just says the president.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah Leader James Baker. Oh, that's the guy who got shot when they when he tried to kill Reagan isn't it?

Am I thinking of the right guy? Well right away it says leader James Baker, but then it clarifies the secretary of state. Well, no wait a second hold on Could be a game. No, it was a different baker.

Let's see. Oh, I'm in its brain. He manages For Ford and Bush. Yeah, no, it's James Baker.

I'm thinking of he was the secretary of treasury for Reagan So he could have been shot by accident. No, no, it was it was um, it's James Brady. I was the one who got shot So the name is very similar big mistake. Yeah, that was I fucked up pretty bad there.

So James Baker James Baker kind of a dead But a bit of a dead cart not gonna lie. Yeah, how many white guys on these cards? Okay geography Belgium ever heard of it, okay? Really good stuff Charter member of the United Nations supplied naval units during Desert Storm They're a charter member.

We have to fly for free. That's right Did you know Flemish is a language in Belgium? I do know that well, thanks John. It's a break.

Okay, buddy Desert Storm this has no category just peace And there's no like background which is a quote from old Abe Lincoln on the back I'll say this piece might be the one thing that wasn't going on a desert storm I guess with the quotas. Yeah, go ahead. Please do piece to me is so much better than war The word piece is not in the quote if you're wondering if the words widow and orphan are part of the quote they are That's exactly what I thought there's too many of those which is oh, yeah, not like pro orphan Okay, I need to apologize the word piece is in the court pieces of orphans Let us try for peace Because a lot of orphans got hit by bombs, but not no lie military asset fighting ship us Ns Hospital ship ta okay, lots of impact there. It's a hospital ship.

They named it after just a guy in hospital ship or something Yeah, it says hospital ship. You remember president Very effective president. It's a little painted it like it's a hospital. Yeah, but it is a hospital ship though, right?

It's like you were allowed to elect a president You know like you do for like when I try to put the new team name and like popular it's like a the bumblebee It's like a popular vote somebody's like Hospital ship on the ballot here. Absolutely joke candidate. Oh intelligence file chemical slash biological warfare. Oh, too real very intense There's a guy in gas mask but his hands are out.

Yeah, it's got bear skin so the gas can be that bad Those might be there's flesh covered colored gloves though, right? Attachable gas Leader general Merrill a McPeak sure You know McPeak that sounds like to be said yeah, that sounds like a rocky and bowling character I can see why you guys read these cards every time Geography Poland there it is. Wow Poland. We've all been there.

It's a lot more zoomed in on the map than the usual than the Belgium one was You can't do me until the Polish people can tell a country this We're alive in Polish jokes. Oh, yeah, it just was a very funny like wasn't that like 19 I do remember there was definitely a there was definitely Joke book I had when I was a kid that had like a you know Just it was like a one-liner joke a whole chapter on pole act jokes What like how many pole acts does it take to screw in a light bulb? Not they're all fucking idiots you know whatever right book for children. Yeah, absolutely That took me right to the mean streets of good on sc Don't that brings us to the end of the pack of desert storm?

Well, I might be the best time you may not believe this but that was one of the best Wow Together I think the big thing about home for peace for me is the rest of them have categories the rest of the geography leader Military asset and then peace no category just the concept and a beautiful white Dub isn't like soft focus Soon to die but it represents the struggle for peace Stub can swim. Oh man, that was good. That's great stuff. Well done Tom.

Thank you so much I can read let the record show should be I guess we'll briefly touch it because what time is it? Yeah, we should start to like three thirty. Yeah, that's true. We should talk about you Mac and tire Yes So you're not gonna tire went on TSN radio here in Vancouver and talked about the fact that the fan base people like you and me Stefan Yeah, we just want it both ways and yeah It was like it was like the sideshow Bob as a politician like they can't tell if they're coming or going Yeah, he said that they want the team to play young players and develop young prospects But also can't stand it when the team loses which is like such a huge generalization and like totally wrong because no one thinks that No one is like I want them to rebuild and I'm mad when they suck But it's like it's the decisions that people are mad about I mean if you listen to the show you know Exactly go to too much detail.

Yeah, what our position on this and our friend Jackson. Yeah, Jackson Oh look who listens to the lab Yeah, it's a little act yet. I'm just not sure I believe it He basically wrote a takedown article saying that this is bullshit Yeah, but nobody is mad when they lose because because of the loss because of the loss They're mad that they're losing playing Jason Meghna in all situations When if you're going to play somebody shitty in all situations It may as well be somebody who might have a future with the team And I would imagine that this is a similar argument that has come up with the may beliefs over the last several years Probably pre-babcock. Yeah, well the Babcock thing was the first time in my entire life where the Leafs were like yeah We're gonna lose now.

Yeah, they never before so he's like yeah, you know what let's let's make a go for it Yeah, like that's like three good players. Oh, a lot of guys were tough. Yeah in quotations Yeah, they're like oh how are we how's it going? You know what we are on the bubble of a playoff spot.

You know who might get us in trial in Nolan We need more truck you let's see how many first round picks we can give up for Owen Nolan that age 30 center He's gonna do it guys Whereas we are in the opposite situation right now and that it's not like we're bringing in over the hill stars We are bringing in career AHLers. Yes and playing them in every possible situation. It's great. I love it Hey Jeff Cowan had a real nice run there.

Hey, he was I love Jeff Cowan I can't believe how bad just in like reading about this situation with the emektar I can't believe how bad some of these sedine moments have been lately. Oh, they've there's no down so much. It sucks It's so great so hard to watch yeah, and they're just they look actually like disoriented and confused about skating and the idea of hockey Yeah, it's fucked. It's right.

I mean they're like what 3637 so their brains are dead their brains are well I gotta go back to those Joe fat igloo also be like dealing with like a jordan and all that stuff like They're just like really hate the coach. I think much for his pointed out in numerous gifts in the proggies recently That it just like it's not like you're just saying oh this team is given up like if you actually look at how they handle Defensive situations they are not doing anything. They have literally given up. Yeah, they're giving 40 plus shots for the last six games I think anyway, they fucking suck we know that yes, but Jackson rightly pointed out that nobody's mad about losing They're mad that we are losing games that are unbearable to watch It's should are a bad Low event hockey and we don't even get to see like the Jordan Subans of the world what these guys can possibly do because there's Wors I'll say Mac and any looked great when I brought up And you know you may as well see what you have for next season because there's nothing going on this year Well and the goal tending like I mean like what it Botchards been on this all year like it makes no sense that they haven't been giving marks or more games He's injured.

I know he's injured now or that they weren't before that and Miller's not coming back or it's well. He might be now He's I'm actually said Miller's not coming back next year And we know as we're gonna do here what a shill he is true. That's true. I'm just saying I don't know I I agree I think it's I think fans are gonna be frustrated when there's no clear direction Right, you never want to see your franchise just in the middle, you know And I think that's the main that's the main issue that everyone's touching on which makes sense You want like it's fine if you're going to lose but you want that to be purpose Yeah, and so I'm at run article replying to Jackson where right it was talking real interest talking down to am talking down to bloggers The actual address any of the actual argument quoted a lengthy poem.

Yes So the Andy quoted Walt Whitman's the learned astronomer right which I guess the implication is that You should go out there and just experience things and watch the games and it's I don't know I'm not sure what women ever pictured his poem being used in like an argument like this But I have a little poem for for I'm at myself if you guys don't mind if I read it You know I'm nice if you would yeah, I'm into a phone is called not afraid. Okay. Is this an original? No, you guys have to guess who's by at the end.

Okay, I'm not afraid to take a stand everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together through the storm whatever weather cold or warm Just letting you know that you're not alone holler if you feel like you've been down the same road So Walt Whitman of course is a literative name. Yes, and you've gone for an illiterate of poet as well Yeah, the great Marshall nethers. Yes, that is correct. I was gonna guess the dove on the piece Close second Yeah, so to me, you know that poem It's like you guys should be yeah Not afraid to take a stand against a makita tyranny of Vancouver Sun reporters Yeah, Mac and I are tweeted after the headline for the original article was don't listen to anything He has to say about the Canucks rebuilding.

He said live by this from great sports writer Jim Taylor Never mud wrestle a pig all you get is dirty and the pig likes it's and then he proceeded to wrestle with a pig Yes, like he tweeted that in like two hours later his like piece came out He's attacked the blog like Jackson, but yeah He didn't address the actual argument which is you're generalizing people and making them out to be stupid and you're generally wrong about everything Yeah, that you're a you know He didn't sit like Jackson didn't say you are a shill like Trevor Linden is your idol and you will never say I'm bad about him. I believe Linda says anything to you. You will just repeat it. Yes later on he did But I mean that that's basically what it is.

Yeah, like you know We've talked about the double turn that writers do during regime regime changes before and Mac entire basically when Linden took over Was like I love this guy so never gonna say anything bad about him and whatever he tells me It's like holy shit. You believe Trevor Linden is talking to me Which is like it's kind of nice in that when you hear something from iMac where it's like oh, they're not gonna sign this guy Or they want to trade this guy. It's like well, you know, it's true Coming directly from like the fucking president top of the mountain. Yeah, so there's that at least yeah And also when you hear his like spin and all the stuff about the rebuild It's just so and like you know that when he has that much contempt for the fans that obviously Linden does too Yeah, I mean, I guess so right if he's getting it from but I think I know you're generalizing just like he was generalizing man Yeah, but I'm doing it.

That's okay, right? And he's a he's a season ticket holder that really stood out to me about this not to interject I mean, it seems like it happens a lot with with newspaper writers or whatever the mainstream media thing, but he's being critical of other people's writing He had one point mentions The people maybe follow sports. Maybe they have a degree in journalism. Maybe they've just written before whatever This is an article that starts with a sentence I read Friday on Twitter the headline that phrase doesn't make any fucking sense that grammar in that is opening sentence is like Go back to school buddy.

That's brutal writing also I guarantee the connect-army bloggers watch more hockey than you know He also sure is not being able to write a grocery list never mind an article. I'm sure it's just a trash can hard to write a gross It's not easy. Oh, that's like high That's all you need that's all pop absolutely. I just bed I just bed the lady and then I just fucking cram some pie down my whole That's my grocery list.

I My papa Was a recent retired English professor, okay, and he used to do something that you could do with this guy's column Which was just he would take the this is a reginous Saskatchewan the leader post really high quality Newspaper once had the headline ice cream makes a tasty summer treat on the front page. That was the front page I mean, they're not wrong at all. That's news Anyway, my dad used to take the days paper from just whatever the current day was without looking at it being like We're gonna learn about writing today. We'd open Rob Vanstone I think was his name the like lead calmness and she'd be like there will be a bunch of errors in this column And we're just gonna look at it for errors.

You know, it's you know, it's so badly written every time we can trust There'll be some sentimental flaws. Yeah, and we just open this up in class. I thought that was delightful I feel like this guy's first sentence. It's like yeah, it's a disaster Just let me stumble through a few words and then complain about the quality of writing Yeah, I mean Jackson did retort by saying I learned about leaves of grass Which is the poem that he quoted at the end in ninth grade where I also learned that you should never end your own work by quoting someone else's Boom hammer time pissing into his own mouth Few of us published it, but we've all done it.

We've all done it. I just I could do that with a real doll too I realize it's a little bit sour. Yeah, of course you have to I actually I want to piss Yeah, let's get on it. It's gonna be great when we get it I just feel like if he's shipping is $600 instead of ways like a hundred Yeah, it's a life-size weight.

It is yeah, it's 90 to 95 pounds. They're gonna need to know like yeah how dance your bones are and stuff It's extremely realistic. Yeah, absolutely hollow bones. Yeah, he's good It's about it's heavier than me if anything possible because you made the dick way bigger.

So that's true Yeah, but I'll add to me. I mean you had the proper retort to Mac and Tyre on Twitter last week I think which is that you know any fan base of any team is deep and varied yeah And it's made up of multiple people who want multiple. Oh, yeah Like there are a lot of stupid fans that are upset when they lose and they're stupid. Mm-hmm And so yeah, those are not the things we're like oh, we want to rebuild we want to like yeah, we want to tank You know those are those are not the same fans.

Yes, it's the same It's the same kind of logic of like they don't understand what the rebuild is Like they just want the team to be good so they can go out with their friends during the playoffs have fun nights out Watch the game like they they don't realize that it takes a process to get there and the people who are willing to sit through that Process are the true fans. You know it's like that seen in the Devil Wears Prada where the we go very nice You guys know this you guys know this famous scene from this I've seen that everyone's watch Where they're talking where where Anna went to her or Meryl Streep character Anna went to her while real person I guess is saying that like you know and and half the ways characters like well No, like you know I don't care about this fashion thing like I just go to the store and I buy my clothes Just like don't you realize like all the stuff you buy and stores is influenced by all these designers? But like a year or two before that it's like the same kind of thing It's like you got to wait for your team to be good You can't just be like well, I like to go to like three games a year and if they don't win them sad Like you know you got to realize that they don't get it. They're just like go to what's just fucking win tomorrow, man Oh, we're so good like six years ago, man.

I was so happy the game yesterday They lost six three the Boston's great cuz like our Sean gonna hat trick like everything connects mainstream. Oh, no I loved it I want this management team to be like embarrassed and feel bad. I want the fans who support the management team to feel bad And I'm assuming they did my favorite was there's a quote after the gamer marshal I'm just like, yeah, you know, I feed off the energy the crowd when they boo me It's like I was bad move on their part. I was like no wasn't bitch cuz I wanted to lose fucking wrecked It's great.

Like honestly the best part of wanting your team to lose You can't if a player comes in it's like yeah, they fucking sucked as well be them like yeah, so is I motherfucker Yeah, it's awesome So like Brad much on feeding off the energy of the like collective phone batteries draining in the lower bowl and everyone's just checking There was a lot of booing. Yeah, there was a lot of the game There was a lot of booing, but is there is there like a successful way out of that for Ian McIntyre? Yeah, he could fucking quit Open his job up. Yeah, absolutely.

Well, he's soon to be fired feels like yeah, because he did he really like He's a lot of weird Steve you and have cancer is like horrible that he has cancer obviously, but it's like why bring that up well He's saying like a weird thing like I can get through this cuz I got through my friend having cancer twice Yeah, like it seems kind of like a argument You're bringing that up like yeah, it's not a time or place to yeah, and yeah, it's crazy and also global warming he also brought that up Did he yeah, he was like he likes it he links it too He's like Steve you and has cancer a bunch of people are getting laid off and my children are inheriting a rapidly deteriorating earth That's what I that was actually my favorite part of Jackson's retort to that where he was like yeah I'm the same age as your kids so I think in the same world we're you were all done I guess the implication was that like Jackson is like a global warming denials You say denialist No, you just typed it into the nihilist a person who's not acknowledged the truth of a concept of proposition that supported by the majority of scientific Historical evidence a denier. I believe the teacher just got schooled. I guess just really just that It doesn't sound like a word. I think it started out The trappings of the classic word I think it came out like recently with all the climate change right right obviously Let's get to our clip of the week.

I'm gonna laugh here. I will I will just say this that Jackson does not believe in climate change No, I don't think he is so McIntyre nailed it Jackson is that climate change? I want a record he also just went after like advanced stats when this has nothing to do with oh well Because I think it's one of those things where it's like well he works for a blog and it's kind of so he loves that And Jackson does but it's also like that's kind of like the automatic response from like a hockey media guy Yeah, when they're going after but we're doing like watching that you have to read that Yeah, anyways, we're quick for the week is very good. Yes, speaking of people who are reviled and people pooing also Yeah, this you want to set up the clip sure?

Yes This comes from yesterday's Chelsea versus Man United game where Jose Mourinho who is the former manager of Chelsea and is now managing Manchester United And of course they are rivals. He was booed at the at the game and not only was he booed but there were chants directed his way of Judas so the Chelsea fans were chanting Judas at him I guess for presumably turning his back on Chelsea and going to one of their major rivals And so after the game he was asked about these chants to trade them Yes, exactly and he had a great response Thank you for Chelsea supporters who were calling you Judas and They must have short memories of guests They can call what they want. I am a professional I defend my club and Until the moment they have a manager that wins four Premier League for them I'm the number one when they have somebody that wins four Premier League for them I become number two but until this moment Judas is number one So good. Yeah, so good Especially in like his non-native language by like three like I think he speaks three languages I'm pretty sure and English would be a third of these yeah, and So yeah, I think he speaks Portuguese Spanish in English.

So it's pretty amazing that he is that's like the sound by the So far I think that's number one Judas is number one and putting it on their manager to it just everything about it I just love it's not wrong. No, exactly until they have a manager that wins four Yeah, Judas is number one. Yeah, that's like a soccer equivalent of Patrick was I'm at the rings in my ears. Yeah.

Yeah, we're kind of the same like tone of voice. Yeah. Yeah, I loved it Well, tight stuff. Let's ask some questions.

Nothing to add answers questions. Let's answer some questions. We've been asked them already Play that theme bitch. Hey, yo, it's the top three questions of the week on real good show.

You know what the fuck it is bitch We murder in CFL podcast up in this motherfucker Russell look out Wow, I'm gonna go to the Melbag this is so aggressive. Yeah, we just we go in we go in hard Okay, questions of the week coming in here. This is the third question of the week this comes in from oh wells Who might be wells green? Oh, we don't know or another person named wells because it's a very common name I was what exactly he or she asks In spirit of pie day knowing that we would be probably consuming some pie on the show They ask what sport is best when the ball or puck is substituted with a pie and you can specify the type of pie I'm gonna go with ultimate Frisbee.

Oh, oh, but that would get real Messy, but I'm assuming it's gonna be in my I clean yeah, maybe the pie falls up you still have the tin I wonder how far it would fly with the pie in it probably not very the first part of the game You're waiting for the pie to get gradually destroyed and then like halfway through it's like oh, it's like oh yeah Yeah, I like that Tom. Oh, I mean football jumps right out I mean you think about beautiful pie spinning through the air a couple guys go up for it You know, I love the idea of a pipeline to the air But also I'm running back with a pie if you fold the pie tin in half It actually is not a lapse on itself. It would look a lot like a football. Yeah.

Yeah, well There's that factional side to you want to get that stuff that's all about unreal good show We're all about that But just the image of a running back hitting a line with a pie and then just like an explosion of strawberry Rubar comes out like he's he's tackled That's and how long would it take before like one of the lines Men's just just picks up a piece of the pie and eat Jump on top of it and then they can't get the muckers. They're just eating it down there. Oh Who's got it nobody? These linemen That's awesome.

I'm gonna go. I'll go hockey. I'll say I'll say pocket but with a meat pie That's like a small meat pie you can freeze it. Yeah, or like a classic like British meat pie No, like a pie Meat pie.

Well, it is not really a pie though. I'm talking about like No, there's no crust you can get it with a crust here. No, it's a potato on top of it's a mint It's a mint pie like a meat pie of British pie. It is literally a pie filled with like meat.

Yeah, like a tortilla It's like a tortilla It's like a tortilla's pie is fucking pie in the name. Okay, so it's a pie No, because it's like saying that shepherds had to eat it They were too poor to afford the crust. So this was the type of shepherd's by the way. Yeah, but it's not gold It's just fools gold.

It's still gold. It's just of the fool's variety You sweet taste of food look I'm one and I was thinking I was things don't fuck with me Tom was just like visibly taken aback And you see your yeah, I'm with a personal size like small meat pie you went frozen. I'm gonna go baked Okay, so it's gonna get real messy. Yeah, I mean keep it in the sand you put it on the ice Love to see what she Weber could do to that.

Oh, hell yeah, you could scorch that one right to the back. Absolutely sure Okay, second question because the hockey is Canadian. I will go tortilla actually alright Okay, second question of the week comes in from Robert Menchies at Jehovah's Fitness great name Yeah, and so for 200 points he asks which Parker Brothers board game has a legit chance of becoming a professional sport Oh boy first you gotta make a list of Parker's board games, which is what monopoly? Yeah, it's like the classic and then and then Parker just just retired at that point, right?

Yeah, there's trivial pursuit. Yeah, there'd be a Boggle risk monopoly. I don't think is a monopoly is not Parker. Oh no, it is.

It wasn't it wasn't in the Google's blue. Yeah risk Scrabble, okay, and then the question is what which one is 1313 dead end drive remember that one. Oh, I don't remember that one Everyone board gives you to have commercials. Yeah, I love that one.

Don't wake daddy. Don't wake daddy was classic We talked about that I always remember the jingle they have a loop in the loop. Don't wake daddy No, lupin Louie. I think it's something else damn the don't wake daddy was was such a it had a really stupid thing So it's like you would go around the board and then if daddy woke up You just had to go back to the beginning so it took forever the what the beginning?

Oh, you're the only person's ever point except for my ex-girlfriend was always over me for saying beginning I don't know why I say it like that but I always have sort of beginning So I've been waiting no one's ever pointed it out on the show like on a timer. Yeah, so no so he's so daddy There's a plastic daddy daddy laden bed. Yeah, I would fly it did Yeah, so it's a clock terrifying cloth nightcap and you you had an alarm clock beside the bed And then you would you would spin the wheel and move and then the game is to like sneak So I just sneak into the bedroom and murder dad Exactly, then leave a little later. Yeah, exactly just trying to get you just trying to get somewhere and then the man gets you down Yeah, absolutely try not to wake him up.

You don't want to stir up the patriarchy. Well, I don't know I don't you want daddy to be woke No, not in its patriarchy man, but you want eventually want that yeah eventually So you it was the only way that we can overtake the patriarchy is if there's a woke dad or there the idea the The idea is just called woke down Everybody's allowed to just walk around freely and dance awake Like the game is just pursue your dream Because in the game you're supposed to be going to the fridge to get some snacks and then make it back to bed without making up daddy So yeah in this game. It would just be the fridge is just open for all everyone eats everybody has never kind of snacks They want exactly curious if you get the cheese. Yeah, I'm assuming that you're after some cheese in the fridge I have no idea.

It's like a midnight snack. Yeah, so you would press the alarm So you would pick up a card It would tell you how many times to push the alarm button or spin a wheel I don't remember it and then and then yeah, eventually the alarm press would pop daddy up Don't like daddy's has brought by the way has my Amazon says it's has Parker Brothers has been purchased by Hasbro now all of their old stuff is Hasbro, okay Wow, this guy's up on his board. I read that on the house Parker Brothers Wikipedia was that was strategic? Parker Brothers because that was my guess for the sport the one that would most likely be a sport It's basically like capture the flag, but with death.

It's a really good game. It's a great game. Oh, looping Louie was Milton Bradley So I think it's a T go might have been Milton Bradley. Can you look up?

Stretigo it's game starting to sport. Yeah, like which Parker Brothers board game would make the best sport seems so arbitrary to put the Parker's brother Yeah, it does Parker Brothers also was the inventor of Bop it. Oh, I feel like that's probably my answer That would be a bit of bop it leave So strategic was registered in the Netherlands in 1942 and then it was licensed out to other manufacturers The Milton Bradley versions of Hasbro versions of Barnes and Noble version. Okay.

I'm gonna say strategic I'm done. I'm doing part of other parts So it's like a two-person games kind of like chess you have army men and they're all assigned a rank So you go from one to nine and then there's a flag and none of the pieces are facing your opponent So you all the pieces face you and so like you have one one one two two three's two fours whatever Then you also have bombs and you have one person that can disarm the bombs. So it's like a war game Yeah, it's a war game exactly and so then you you're allowed to move one piece one space every turn And then if you move your piece onto a space occupied by an opponent Then you have to reveal what your pieces and whoever has the higher ranked piece gets the other gets the other one So like if I moved on your space and be like this is my two and you'd be like well This is my five and then I would get your five and the ranking is only back facing It's only back facing and you're just trying to get to the flag and then the bomb destroys everybody except for the scout Who can disarm the so in this scenario instead of pieces? We have people that all have yes, it'll be a number on their back and then the opponent coming forward can't see anyway So it works.

Yeah, I think you It's like chess chess game guess who? Yeah, a little bit of risk. Yeah, I've got my choice here I've never heard of this game first. You just saw the name of it So you can't I'm gonna describe the game you guys have a guess the name of it Okay, so this is the park of other game from 1966 and this is my choice for this this sport The game revolves around a game board featuring plastic farm related items sticking out of it players move goat shaped pieces around the board Attempting to complete tasks that reward them with tin can pieces the first player to move their goat onto the roof of the barn ends the game And at that time whatever player has the most cans wins movement is determined by an included spinner.

What is the name of this game? Goat can no Don't wait go to the game is called hey pause. There's a goat on the roof So I would you know what we're into titles that are just statements people talking it's actually two sentences. Hey, pause exclamation point There's a goat on the roof.

That's my choice. Oh, that's beautiful in what way and that's the sport. Yeah I haven't made a choice I You know what I don't have a great one I guess a clue okay, you know because it's in so many ways a metaphor for the draft and we're trying to think about what players Who's who's got the weapons to help our team in every sport? I like it.

It's a really dense. It's not a joke It's just a statement. I was told this is a dramatic Okay, and the number one question of the week were 300 points and they also had a question in here last week It was second I think yeah, rad villainy comes in with the top question of the week and he asks would you rather be extremely good at bowling and get Million dollar endorsements or be the worst guy on a popular hockey team? So we're talking like a pro NHL team here.

Yes. Yes, so you're really good at bowling You have million dollars worth of endorsements or you're the worst player on hockey team They're on the time. I like reviled by the fan base. I think it to a certain degree you would have yeah You would have but maybe you've got like maybe you got real spunk on the bench or something people like like you as a yeah Like a character player.

Yeah, so you're like you're in a like a better league, but you're like lower on the totem ball We still make it make it a small bond or six hundred thousand a year. Yeah, so I'm a star bowler or I'm Derek door set Yes, actually well Derek door set makes too much money. You're a star player But he is like Or Jason magna who's a man? It would be magna yeah, well, but make it's technically not the worst player No, he is the worst player.

Okay. Well while you're thinking of that. I'm gonna answer right now Strike the play with the climate Now we've obviously played that clip on the show before but beautiful I am fully happy being Pete Weber Jr. And asking a room full of people who do you think you are I am it's incredible Yeah, you're gonna millions per year absolutely that argument alone guys wait me So I'm gonna go with bowling yeah, right like I mean cuz that's I feel like it with bowling because it's an individual sport You can you could carve a niche for yourself or you're a pretty like popular because I think that's really the argument right Is that you're a doesn't say you got a sub bowler?

It says million dollar endorsements, okay? So it could be so it could be more than one million Yeah, multi-million because the market for bowling balls is so big so it's so untapped so untapped they need a voice to conquer this incredible market Tom woke daddy Hill of people that don't have any money because all they do is ball. That's it You just see him on the Wheaties box. Yeah, absolutely I so that's my thing is like I guess that's really the argument is like so you'd be really good at bowling but like I Like not no one would know who you are but like pretty detestable people would know who you are like who's really into bull like you'd be really Big in Georgia, you know what I mean like you're not you definitely get a serial endorsement Yeah, you'd have a ton of like you just be running train on like 40 year old Well mobile like or like hardwood floors because you don't damage Equin light and mattresses because there's two uses for bowling balls bowling and You're the guy John Cullen can't even disturb this person To slamming a bowling ball on a mattress Just me I like wink at the camera and then just chop the bowling ball out of the bed Do you see the video the girl throwing the bowling ball into the ceiling and the sprinkler explodes?

No, no great She's trying to test her mattress with a bowling ball She's not a bowling alley and she you know how every so often you would occasionally like It gets stuck in your fingers and you let it go too late And so that's exactly what happens and fucking launches and hits the ceiling and there's like a sprinkler in there I guess it shoots out. Yeah, I'm fine. It's really fine. I'm gonna answer bowling as well Okay, but I think I would try and as I would with the hockey players I really in both cases I would try and curate some sort of a unusual personality that I was known for I think that the bowling would be all about the Strength of my hands if it's having a thing where I'm like really gripping it showing everyone how hard I'm gripping it So that in that in that video equivalent, it's like Tom hands Hill Tom hands up Tom hands like that's true.

Yeah, I like that's what I mean because we were just that's what I was Kind of trying to say is like I guess the argument is you wouldn't be that popular or like you'd be popular with We have a very small a small way a huge popular. Yeah, where's the hockey team you'd presumably be much more popular or probably reviled in your own way Possibly possibly brain turn to mush. No brain. You also have that so that's what I'm with Tom Like I think there's enough room in bowling where you could make your own way be the first huge bowler not to mention that luxurious market Simmons mattresses for life All kinds of bowling shoe endorsements.

Oh my bowling shoes are gonna be Yeah, I was with Brunswick Colin once you walk into the bowling lane it's full it's Saturday night and they clear out a lane Yeah It's everything you want that just turns and walks away. I like that. You know what fuck it on my control cool girls Don't look at explosions market a spare market a spare I'm gonna go with the hockey player. I feel like there's just more like social opportunities the general quality of my life would be better True even if I'm not raking in as much money.

I think that's true. I agree. I mean you have better conversations. Yeah, I like meet cooler people Yeah, I go to nice parties and stuff.

Yeah, that's true Yeah, and again if you were like a kid like you know like look at a business for example It's not a great hockey Yes, and he's carved out a niche for himself like so if you were to took the bowling argument and applied it to hockey You could have also the media career that I want also there you go. Exactly. So yeah, I'm definitely going worst player on a hockey team fair enough Alright, let's get this fucking podcast over with I think Tom actually had a question that he wanted to present to us Oh, well, I just when we were in search for a question I This hypothetical is a great hypothetical recommended for conversations sure the general the general two options Everybody has to pick something in the world so everybody has one so would you rather? Yeah, would you rather have two legs on your chin?

They're the size of your fingers you can imagine human legs, but the size of fingers it's attached to the bottom you control them You can troll them like you can you like so limits yeah, there are limits right? You can dress them which I think is arguably the best part little shoes little socks To the best part tell you the best part to know genitalia, okay? That's option number one okay the other option that about half the people in the world have is a butt two butt cheeks on their forehead Pretty big ones, you know you can get some hair over top of them whatever but again Nope, no but whole now big plus this one you can lie down on your face and you've got a couple butt cheeks There's a lot of yeah like a sausches would be that would really take massages to the next level Yeah, I forget those chairs you just lie down on the ground Table where you normally have to put your head in that hoop thing I was talking about that you know any kind of special apparatus right any floor will do just put me on the floor baby I'm gonna chew I originally thought but here's the best use of the legs is I mean obviously right oral sex ladies Ding ding you know where the legs just kicking them in the bottle no no well yeah, or No, no, and then you pictured it news like yes That's what that was the look on my face like are the legs long enough I was like oh yeah, okay, but I was thinking more of the like from the okay. I see you see what I'm talking the other way around yeah Which way are we?

I've got a place we don't need to be well. We can go to the specifics here. Well, I'm talking about if you're a No, I'm uncomfortable Stepping is okay, but like a bit of it. Okay, if you're say you're fucking step in for example Yeah, if you're performing oral sex with a woman and you are pleasing their clitoris then the legs would not be going in the asshole You know what I'm saying that's what I was saying so I got a confused look on my face because you're like Yeah, so yeah, so yeah, I stick by my original answer I've also just kind of inclusion.

I've mentioned this on a podcast before so I apologize to those of you who listen to A very unusual combination of podcast. I just had to complain about that. That's fair. That's fine.

It is fine I'm gonna go with the chin legs also, but uh, I feel like it would kind of throw off my beard damn a little bit You can just grow a longer beard. Yeah, oh the beard the beard's fine. Yeah, why not? And sometimes you can rest them in the beard.

Yeah, yeah, I cross legged but I was also the reason that I'm picking this one was also pussy related but Actual cats actual cat this time Well, you guys just said cat like you're going for a segue that was really gross also pussy related because yeah like if my cat is like Resting on my chest. It's easier to give it oral sex Then I can like cuddle him with my little chin. Oh, I like that actually. Yeah, stroke him My hands are still free to play ps4.

Yeah, and I'm still cuddling the cat with my little chin fingers. Oh Jesus Okay, we're all going like Tom. What's your preferred answer? I'm a legs guy.

Yeah, this is a rare that the all four would go one way Yeah, I do generally find about fifty-five someone out there listening right now is just screaming at their radio But for head, but for head, but But not us guys. No, I love the idea of dressing with dressing legs Like you know just wearing shorts one day talking on there. It's so comfortable seems idea. I don't know Just a really like a little shoes Little shoes.

Oh, man. Come on guys little I mean little shoes, and I like it. It's like dressing a doll on your face Yeah, sure. It's like how babies have tiny hands only you'd have tiny legs Just exactly like that exactly like that From there to everyone's favorite because it means we're on the home stretch the cherry on top of our cynical Sunday We pick the things we like from the world at large one good This is cake that was cake.

Yeah Everybody knew that was cake a little cake on pie day. Oh nasty Second nasty is fun you made in the last three minutes Don't know any like this week. I just thought they're making a third trip movie. There's the trip This is the Steve visty coogan right there's the trip the trip to Italy and the third one's gonna be the trip to Spain and it comes out soon Okay, I'm very excited pre preemptively recommending something.

Yeah, I mean the last two were fantastic So you're basically recommending the first two. Yeah watch the first two It's the third one's like a third one is coming out like a TV show like they did the other ones Yeah, and then it'll come out as like a comedy or a horror. It's like a sex show Oh, sex. I've got to see that's the pussy related Steve coogan and Rob Riden and they're traveling around the person They travel on northern England.

Oh, it's like a doc you show It's well, it's like a it's a movie and it's a comedy, but they improvise a lot of their conversations at dinner The conceit is like they're supposed to be filming some sort of travel document. They're reviewing food actual thing is there like A lot of it's really really funny. Okay, do you love impressions? But you're tired of them being presented straight up on stage like they'll be woven into a conversation Absolutely beautiful.

Yeah, the food looks great too. Yeah, so and also they are they're doing a another Alan Partridge series I think to wonder if he's a lot going on. Yeah, he's fantastic. Yeah, perfect I Tom and I were talking about this earlier.

I'm gonna recommend the athletic talk about that on the show yet But if you're a Toronto sports man, I mean even your Cleveland yeah get into it. I absolutely love it the content on there is great It's funny talking with this like the whole iMac Jackson argument whatever. This is like a bunch of woke journalists as it were It's the future. Yeah, it's the future of the future that Ian McIntyre is afraid of a bunch of woke daddy sitting around Well daddy's talking sports and woke mummies too.

There's a few ladies involved and yeah, I've just been loving the content It's really as a leaf span. It's just it's perfect But even if you're not the content's outstanding so and just it's it's leafs Raptors J. It's all in one place It's a beautiful nest of things you're interested in. Yeah, Toronto focused.

Yes, indeed So I'm a huge fan if you're if you have even thought to yourself I wonder if I want that the answer is you want that it's great. So yeah, subscribe to the athletic now And it's only I think it's like three bucks a month. That's what I said. That's pretty good And I just got a sale one one back and then seven bucks a month.

Okay, the price is gonna yeah It has I got it on the Netflix I got in on the early I was the early adopter price or whatever so I think it was like 3499 for the year I think so very reasonable very very considering you're getting daily it's like subscribing to a magazine But you're getting daily magazine. I believe they call it a newspaper But this is no newspaper my friend I'm saying the club saying a writing in the content is a kid magazine It's not Regina's I'm a post-letter later post-war makes the taste of a tree exactly. Yeah, get the athletic Tom Yeah, I mean quick quick shout out to you should check out our hiping stuff. Oh, yeah funny jokes in there Of course thing on YouTube, but I think I would recommend I was thinking about this spa scan and F guys go check it out I don't know if you've ever been it's the fucking bomb near Whistler.

Just chill the fuck out. It's so great I'm going to Whistler tomorrow like a bath house. What are we talking? Yeah, it's like a walk around spa.

It's all silent You're not allowed to talk really just walk around like the best record an episode up there Strong joke Yeah, yeah, it's great I don't like a great steam room and they like jump in some cold water and then just chill in a hammock for a bit Everybody literally everybody would enjoy it. There's nothing not to like yeah, it looks awesome I was gonna go and then I didn't good story, but I'm with through tomorrow So that makes me feel like I should have really planned my trip around going there during the day, but Way too big of a deal. It's gross. I also feel like it's more Did you go with your do you go with your lady?

I've been a couple times once with a lady and once we're going to I'm okay, because it just seems to be like a good like a good couples type of deal that you would sure I mean I'm sure it's a fine single deal too, but feels like a little bit more about like romanticy nice day You know yeah, I think it's how you play it You know right me I like to go and read very very deep heavy war novels, you know That's not true if it was peace. I just look at the piece car Just think about it Just Spa John do you ever find it difficult to be so successful? But I have too many things going on I just fucked up I guess okay you want the bottom line I got a show in Whistler tomorrow night, and I yeah, he tore muscle jacking off I'm getting my hair cut. That's it.

I'm getting my hair cut instead my stylist moved to Pemberton So this is an opportunity for me to actually go see what you're gonna get your hair I'm going to Whistler for sure. Okay. I was going to downplay. I'm successful you are I'd say travel an hour and a half to get my hair cut I have to travel 20 minutes buddy if that's a kind of priority you're making you should go to spots get it fits It fits gotta hit the salon and I hit the spa.

I'll put my work trip God the trip to Whistler I try to make sure every trip I go on a comeback a better man Just something I'm trying to do It's the campsite rule leave me better than you That's actually the slogan I'm scanning on I'm the best joke you've ever made on the show. That's very good. I'm gonna recommend a musician His name is leaf Volabec, and he is like kind of like a folk I was gonna hang out with leaf Volabec, but Piano music is a new album that just came out this year called twin solitude I first heard of him He was on cue a couple weeks ago and our friend Mitch Pollock is a very big fan of the musician and a human being He's apparently a great guy, but in between releasing an album in 2013 and the new one that just came out He toured where he didn't play any of his own music at all It was just a bunch of piano covers sweet just playing other people's music and finding how folks responded to it or whatever And one of those covers is a piano version of the killers read my mind, which is excellent I love I close the show a couple weeks ago with his song Vancouver time Which people may have enjoyed or not, but this will be two episodes in three weeks that will close with some leaf Volabec music So I'm a fan and I want to put his name out there. It's fun to say also leaf Volabec Congratulations leaf and with that that will do it for this week's episode Our remade is no one as we continue to record at the real good studios in Olympic Village our intern are the fine folks That's a sec geek promo code real good our guest today has been Tom Helton.

Thank you so much for stopping by and pleasure Sitting at our garbage table and Cards cracking open lots of broken dreams. Where can people find you? My address is Yeah, I don't know lots of ways to do improv and make your videos for a league teach comedy a blind tiger comedy and But the number one thing is hip bang to men group. We do improv and sketch and video stuff You can see my YouTube and we are gonna have a I'm sure we'll be on the show at some point.

Right? You can plug you guys in as well. No way But no only plugs we do our hair plugs, but all of our hair is fake Yeah, we had to pepper to get the plugs And then if we have time we're trying to do John but we're too busy And I'm also gonna plug because when this episode comes out I will already have been on tour. I will have shows and this is gonna come out on Monday So if you're listening to this next Monday, I have a show tonight at Broken City comedy Monday night Where's that in Calgary?

Well, you're a Maccourean. Yeah, I know I'm gonna be in How does that work? Oh, it's crazy, right? Then Wednesday, I'll be at the Oak tree tavern and Thursday head Edmonton I'll be at black dog at Edmonton on the Thursday and then yuck yucks at Edmonton on Friday and Saturday All right, so come out and see some black dog cool bar great bar fun show to have you on the show I know you're not but I didn't know if you ever did improv there So disappointing to you say I Don't do comedy in a bar.

Oh, okay, my apologies. All right, that's more your thing You're right, I know I'm just trying to slip the theater in between your haircuts, but that's where you can find me Yeah, you've done. Yeah, I'm trying my best to get into theaters. That's where I'm starting with this haircut If you like the show you can support at a page me on dot com slash real good show where five dollar donation gets you Stefan talking About his real doll in greater detail.

Yeah, this week Check that out you can find us on Twitter at real good show our Facebook group is a ton of fun And yeah, we'll be back with another one next Monday without John and review us on iTunes Yes, great and review on iTunes and of course tell your friends if you happen to enjoy the programs until next week I'm Justin Morris at Stefan. John Cullen no name. You can say your name I okay, Tom, you know in case I'm listening to you have so backwards Absolutely who is this guy? Yeah, you know, it's like a real record name backwards.

I'll say oh, yeah It's like their lead Zeppelin right so it's up on this silly my full name is Thomas Donald Hill, so now that's the strong way Yeah, I got we had this chance. Yeah, it's good Thomas Donald Hill be real be good be real good. Hey, there's a goat on the roof I would be the one good. Oh, right.

It's a high-day loud. Deep eye sitting on the table I'm gonna have some more of that strawberry You guys actually love this little bunny like she is full on bending over just picking them over That's no you can really see that I mean come on like come on. I guarantee you kid is jack Oh for sure. Oh, that's was Albert nice Somebody's going to like think this podcast is over like I'm gonna turn this off.

I'm just like wow They've got three more minutes. That's not irregular for us. We shut it down and we keep talking Breaking out of this Do the front of your driveway with magic so good my smoke Teenage queen loaded gun the drop dead The world City wall and the trampolines and I don't mind if you don't mind because I don't Turn that free that I don't mind if you don't mind Back on me to back stars are shining like we're both diamonds good until the moment they have a Manage that means for family leaks for them. I'm the number one when they have somebody that wins for prima League for them I become number two but until this moment is you this is number one