Real good real good real good real good real good real good real good real good real good real good real good real good real good real good real good Ladies and gentlemen, hello welcome to another edition of America's best worst Canadian sports podcast That's right real good show back at it again for another week episode number 84 a week episode Back for another week episode no I was supposed to be a pause in there Back for another week comma yeah episode number 84 and they'll we chose the options on how to describe this week's episode are very limited I think I've won this is either an episode that the Maple Leafs never should have gotten rid of or It's a French Canadian episode who showed signs of being like a pretty dominant power forward But then I think succumbed to injuries in Minnesota and disappeared forever. Oh pure Merkoo sharp that would be powerful Or yeah, I know that's why I can you guess it's definitely 84 a four play from Montreal then Minnesota Yes He was the first player in NHL history to wear this number and it was in fact the last number in the NHL that had never been warned Nationality French Canadian French Canadian which made it all the more surprising Montreal would ever be so obvious once a Montreal and this is recent I guess like mid to late 2000s. I'm just trying. Yeah.
I feel like I go ahead Do you know what I'm trying to get a chance. Oh, yeah, definitely a well power forward in that he was like kind of fat He was drafted early to but he was like a twenty to twenty five goals for a couple of years He played for Minnesota first and then a Montreal first and then they traded him for I can't remember I was drafted by Minnesota definitely a Montreal hometown boy. I don't think that's around. I'm pretty sure it's the other way around I think you are wrong.
Oh, yeah, it's Montreal, Minnesota. Yeah, it's he had his big season in Minnesota. Yes No, he was pretty good Montreal. So this is 25 season.
This is even we're gonna never really had a big season He had 37 points was a big but like 20 to 25 And 55 Yeah, that's pretty good anyway. Yes, it's very long intro Justin Morris with the other 84 there of course Michael crevasse. Yes, just more so with you and with me as always is Stefan Hacks John Colin And I prefer to think of this episode as the double well would like oh, yeah, this is when we said we were gonna bring well But back every 42 episodes we're gonna be called back once again We don't have Kyle, but we do have a great guest today or the quadruple Mason Raymond Yeah, I guess today is a very funny Vancouver comedian one of the funniest people if not the funniest person in this city I would say it's you're than me if you're looking at me and being like John might be offended by this. I am not okay Very nice to say hello.
Hi. Thank you for having me. Thank you for remaining silent throughout that entire intro Oh, yeah, I don't want to get involved in bear as you all with all the knowledge I have I even have a laptop just knew it Yum Laquah water that's it was right. Yeah, that's why I got injured in invented Laquah So the whole foods, you know, it's actually very good that things didn't work out in Minnesota I think Laquah is based out of Minnesota, too.
There we go. It's him. He did it Yum Laquah, I think it's actually pronounced they pronounce it Laquah. They do in the state They hate themselves and like the French no not fans.
No, that's a freedom prize The cross I think right Laquah I would assume so I mean I'm not most French things seem based in religion in some way Yeah, it's an act every French word all the swear words are like just like definitely pieces of churches or something yeah Tabernacle at least Yeah, so there we go. See I was right about something for once you've been French or so fucking you've been right a couple times before I'm here for episodes in you've done a couple times like we have any French listeners French Canadian Well French and French and they're very different. They do not like each other. That's true.
That is true We probably have some French Canadian listeners. I don't know. I mean I think that's the one province that we've yet to really we should Because that's where the grant money is we got to start do we got to start offering a bilingual podcast Well, anyway, there those church ass swear words are just so stupid. That's true La show de la monde Unlike English whose swear words all resolve revolve around like sex or pooping this way better That's so much better totally like it's just not even close.
I love sexing and poop The best way when it's not somebody hey sex you you poo head. Well what the French one is a cup table It's how it knuckles on a table. I just playing I spy That table. Yeah, you're such a cup Being such a cup I think cup is gonna replace cuck to what I call people on online video games I'm just translating a French you're a real cop.
We had a bunch of cops. I'm here res me Well John I think there's some congratulations in order here. Oh because since last time we recorded you became like an official MLS oh my god. Yeah, was that oh God, I'm so official.
Yeah, that was really weird. Yeah, I'm doing this show for 84 weeks Yeah, and of yet to see like any sort of recognition, but you started the white caps fauches and within two weeks Yeah, guess it on the national radio program. Yeah, it was really weird I don't know still how that happened. I don't know how the producer of the TFC show heard our show I don't know things here.
It's a national ratio about majorly soccer. Yeah, I'm guessing white caps and a Google alert Yeah, maybe that's something but yeah, I don't know like a very stupid white caps podcast So we're me and Chris James talk about jerking off as much as we talk about the Vancouver white Yeah, it's for something like we need an expert. Yeah, I'm preview this week's game. Yeah, yes Yes, they picked me I don't know what happened, but they seem to be happy with the with the with the spot I mean I know maybe yeah I guess yeah, I mean I talked about One of the bits we have on pod caps is that Alfonso Davies one of the hot players for the white caps right now He's only 16 that's why he's hot yeah, exactly and so we talk about how he's a very difficult opponent to play because not only He's good at soccer, but the other team has to be worried about abusing a child on the field You can't play him tough.
Yeah, you can't play him tough because that's child abuse and I said that on a national radio program So I think they liked it. So yeah, I mean it was yeah, it was a fun time our podcast is fun and let's see how many more times I can say fun but like five more it was fun, but yes, thank you for congratulating. Yeah, no I just thought we have definitely not been on the radio although I've been you have a new radio program that you're doing now I know like a weekly radio spot. Oh, yeah, I have a weekly very spot on the world famous c-fox That's right.
Yeah, so you're a radio station here in Vancouver. What's the spot? It's just a weekly or semi weekly It's kind of like whenever there's an event going on and I was I don't know just like riff about it Yeah, do you think the weekly riff? Yeah, I would just goes on there St.
Patrick's Day calling the Irish guys a bunch of cups Yeah, it's pretty good. The cup is this holiday even about who the cup do you think you are? Yeah, a lot of that. Yeah, I like that.
I'm I've actually worked together before yes You came in for a BCIT project for some TV students. That's right We're like the final project of the TV program I think is like you're supposed to put on a television show of some sort and you can pick whatever kind of show you want to do a Game show. I think somebody did like an ECCW wrestling show in our studio But Ivan was the host of a like evening comedy talk show. Yeah, I like my show Yeah, and I was the announcer for that.
That's right. So I got to say musical guest I don't remember who was the musical guest and your host Ivan Jacker Yeah, yeah, it was a weird show. Yeah Girl taught me to dance that was part of it one of the guests was a dancer and then there was also like I had to write a desk segment They took a bunch of B roll of meeting hot dogs downtown. They said that was very important for like the shots to cut to in Like in the intro they have like you know like classic late night show style We're just like shots of like the streets like Vancouver Street and then meeting a hot dog I was like I'm your host I was like can you just take video of me like walking around like no eat that hot dog?
Okay, I need it like so many times and they're like we I don't think we got a shot get another I'm like the whole opening credits eating the hot dog One of they just kept cutting back to it. I do how many hot dogs when you end up consuming three Jappin dogs Now just like even spring to the for the job just a classic Robson Street stands you stand by the hot dog stands The guy was just like you keep buying now we came back coming back. I mean I really like my hot dogs I was like they had people buy them for me. It wasn't Totally amateur Filming me going up to a hot dog stand a bunch of times.
So did you you did one episode of the show? Yeah for their program Yeah, it was pretty fun. I'm on a log I had a desk piece where I photoshopped pictures of plastic bags into the hands of people that looked cool to prove that holding a Plastic bag always makes you look stupid nice. It's like a beauty prove that theory Yeah, I think so because I got the idea when I was walking down the street I saw a guy hitting on a girl, but he was holding a plastic bag I'm like you can't win you're not getting that number with that plastic bag put it down hide it somewhere hit honor with open hands Don't be like crinkling like anyway Yeah, they're fine.
Yeah, it's like a whole food you're environmentally conscious. Yeah, it's just the way a plastic bag hangs It just looks gross. Yeah, whatever's in it looks terrible like a giant scrotum Yeah, it's a grocery scrotum. It's not good.
It's just hang right Paper bag of structure. You know, I got corners. Yeah, yeah, you kind of hold it nice to like holding a bait Yeah, I'm just dangling fruit here and hoping it doesn't break Yeah, I do like the idea though like it's like the SNL opening credits basically where they're always like having a good time in the bar and then like Turn to camera like surprise. Yeah, oh Oh Do it take where you were like surprised to be caught It was a real hot dog base to you pretty great And there was a live studio audience for that program.
Yeah, and you might as well Yeah, and if you want to attend I'm sure you could probably find tickets on the number one place to buy and sell tickets to Sporting events and concerts hot dog hub That would have done the mobile app that we all know and love Seat geek seat geek is the smartest way to find hockey tickets this season because there's nothing like being behind the glass for the biggest Match-ups of the year and with Seeky gets never been easier to get the guaranteed seats You want for a great value? We all have the Seeky caps on our phone and it's by far the easiest way we found to buy hockey tickets I could be anywhere and with just a few taps I can instantly find seats for this weekend or any game this season only a few weekends left Thank fucking god with Seeky you always get the best deal on every ticket because they price compare for you by searching multiple ticket sites Prices can vary depending on where you shop at Seeky will always find you the lowest available price And they want to help you get the most bang for your buck That's why every ticket on there is given a grade based on value You'll immediately see any under price deals and be able to find the best deals that fit your budget plus every ticket you buy on Seeky gets backed by their 100 percent guarantee so you can shop for tickets on Seeky with confidence and best of all our listeners get a $20 rebate off their first Seeky purchase to get your $20 rebate on tickets download the Seeky mobile app Go to the settings tab and click add a promo code enter promo code real good and Seeky will send you $20 after you've made your first purchase Download the Seeky cap and enter promo code real good today We're not fucking around with that anymore No, it's fine. I just feel like when we have guests here. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah Just get on through. They do baseball. Yeah. Yeah, they do baseball.
Yeah, yeah. You gotta get on there man We got a promo code bro. All right, of course. Yeah, do you want to take your lady to the blue J's in Seattle?
Then we're going to Chicago. Oh shit. I'm down there the weekend after the blue J's are in town Well, that's I really miss times that I don't know sucks You guys are going to see them play the socks or the cups. Oh, okay.
I don't know. Oh, that's awesome Yeah, it's like when you you know like anything with J's anytime there's like a Like when tickets come out at the beginning of the season. All right. What city do I want to see them in because I'm gonna be there once?
Yeah, for sure. Well, that's I mean the Cubs are gonna be sick again this year. Yeah, it'll be awesome Nice. How long you guys go for?
I think it's like a week We'll probably go to Seattle to enjoy going to Seattle to see the J's because it's basically a J's home game. Yeah, it's Mariners fans are upset They get really upset they post about it like okay, if you're a Mariners fan You gotta come out to safe go and protect the stadium. Yeah, you can't protect it. We bought these tickets eight months ago Yeah, exactly good luck and also like you know, that's like probably the one opportunity for Mariners fans a year to sell their tickets for like a For sure inflated.
Oh, yeah, definitely. It's like when the Leafs come to Vancouver. Yeah, abs or whatever I know actually that's the only Canucks game I ever pay for is the Leafs game That's the only game you have to pay for. Yeah, so yeah, we gotta thank we got a lot of donors We'll run through let's play this fucking theme music.
Thank you for donating to the show to the show You work hard for your money that we know that we know the segments where we read out all your names All your name if we say it wrong your parents are to blame There are so many people so many people to thank and mostly because Stefan is going to have sex with a real doll of himself The buyer first step in is going we're going to buy a real doll and I'm going to put his penis in his ass and mouth Okay, well, we did find out so does have an anus it does have an an anise it's deep enough for your penis It was like seven inches so deep in about a lot of room there you could fit to step out I think wasn't a huge, but it's I mean again, whatever. Yeah, exactly. So I'm just more accurate. Yeah It weighs 95 pounds like it's I don't know if it comes in a big crate or like how I mean I'm in the shipping is The shipping is $700 so it sounds heavy.
It's like Yes, 95 to 105. Yeah, it was gonna wish and if we act fast there's like a $1,000 $1,000 rebate and on patreon. Yeah, exactly. So thank you to Matthew McAnally who pledged $5.
Thank you Matthew I really want to make fun of his name, but you just give us money, so yeah, well you can still do it McAnally McAnally it feels I'm allowed to do it because the whole real doll thing. Yeah, how you're gonna fuck it in the Yeah, Nick Analie, please Sorry, thank you to Austin photo Fodel For pledging as well. Yeah, all these people who want to help us makes definitions. Thank you guys so much Christian to Barry which sounds like the Georgian capital to Tbilisi.
Thank you Michael Foyst. Oh, that's a great name. That is a really good name Michael Foyst. Jay Fullerton pledged 519 I don't know why the 19, but thank you Jay Craig Tamble pledged $5.
Thank you Craig and Andrew Hamilton I guess I can still just pronounce Hamilton I know but it's spelled humble and it came after Tamble I think it is Hamilton because I grew up with my neighbor when I grew up was named Hamilton really well That was his last name. He wasn't named Hamilton Hamilton come in here Hamilton, yeah, you did not finish your soup Absolutely absolutely you guys have seen that really sweet off-Broadway play Hamilton. Oh, yeah It's a soup. It's a soup-based play.
Oh shit. We have another female listener that can't be possible Sarah Wiley Just pledged $5. I mean I assume Sarah is a lady. I think that brings our female listener count up to 14 So thank you Sarah great name coming up here, too.
Yeah, yes, absolutely Josh Fingar or Fing or Fing well, it's with him. Hey, so probably Fingar Fingar. Yeah, I know maybe finger and then James Monteeth edited his pledge two different times He edited it from five to ten dollars and then said you know what this is all about a boy in the dream I will edit it up to twenty dollars, so he Wow, so yeah, so James Monte's up to twenty dollars right over fifteen Thank you. Yep Ryan Rees also edited his pledge.
Yeah, nine sixteen to fourteen ninety nine We're gonna save them to the end. Yes, because then it would have been a fucking segue into the cards She's not way master over here. Just blows it. Sorry.
There's two people who sent messages and he was one of those dog as well We can and then Doug Lorman edited his pledge to 2069 and he writes how can I not sit here and not help out in any way? I can when I see a man with a dream a dream of fucking himself in the book in the butt Thanks for cleaning it up. Yeah, clean it up at the end. Let's not say but let's say but let's keep it surf movie friendly Like I said Ryan Rees edited his pledge to fourteen ninety nine a month and he says I up to my pledge to help a man realize a dream But I also don't need another t-shirt that my wife will likely hate Thank you Ryan speaking of Ryan Rees.
Yes. What a segue John. Thank you masterful. Thank you You have some cards to open Ivan.
Yes, welcome. This is our podcast as Tom Hill discovered last episode is primarily an unboxing It's recently morphed into an audio unboxing to an audio unboxing podcast. That's all bad parts of unboxing. Yeah, the end of the mind Exactly It's actually a really nice box.
It looks like Like jewelry business cards. Yeah, that's from a Korean dollar store for sure I'm from a nice. Oh, all right. There's a letter attached to this is from Ryan Rees came all the way from Sacramento, California The US and a United States and America never sad about for that jokes being made Inspired by the show I went through my baseball card collection and may have found a set both more boring and wider than the PGA Pro Tour cards He's gonna say that us.
Yeah, which is not almost possible He's really wrapped it up here. Oh, yes, there's a lot in here. Oh my god You guys this is another complete No, but Ivan can take a look at some of them. Yeah.
Oh my god This is the 1990 premiere edition 100 card set of pro bowlers Oh My god, how does he have this he just had this in his house the set includes Don Carter Carmen Salvin Oh sure amietto Monicelli. Oh, come on. Shelly as a rated rookie Pete Weber He isn't there. Yes, but that might be Pete Weber senior and not be we're doing here Mike Durbin and Mike Albie are also in there to the mics are represented and it says and more I like how they realize that no kid is actually going to want to collect all of these so let's just put them on The entire set of 100 I had when I was a kid a box very similar to that, but of billiards play even I had a pool set I remember my parents took me to see it was like a trick shot pool guy came through town Yeah, sure.
Yeah, and he used me as a volunteer like shot the ball. I held chalk in my mouth Nice shot. I don't know as a prize. He was like look at you this I thought it was gonna be like something cool, and then he gave me a deck of billiards cards And then he took his out and signed it and was like there you go.
I was like all right in that you're bulletin board And I was like this is gonna be worth some some day but billiards takes off So I feel like this may have been something that he picked up for us because it's never been opened before or maybe like me He knew like my BC place guard so it would be one day something one day So he never opened it, but do you want to open that Ivan? Oh really? I think it's open this yeah, all right. This is from 1990 So I mean it's traveled forwards through time 27 years to be here with us today Like could you pick a more out of shape guy to put on the front?
He's got God. He looks like a substitute That's like that's like the most fit guy and that's like probably a J.J. What? Yeah, absolutely.
He just has like a weird like yeah, he's got a weird shot. He has a hot and the glasses and the Yeah, it's pretty serious. I'm gonna open this day and open it open it open it. We don't give a shit I can't believe he owned this like who I don't know who got it for him or who my God There are so many cars.
There's a hundred targets. There's as many bolder. That's that's just the number of bull There's the number of people so yeah, you don't obviously don't have to go through all 100 But anything that catches your eye I'm gonna try to find something good I think we've got a bunch of stray cards here. Well, we can just take a look at some of these too I think that's commander Hadfield the astronaut really No, but he looks a lot like oh wow he really does a real eagle.
That's a great name daily I like that these shots don't make them look in any way like a professional bowler like he's on a golf course But with a bowling ball is in the sand tomorrow Look at up Ray Bluth of the blue company. He just looks like it works at the ball Yeah, he's standing in front of he's got his hands out the balls. Yeah. Yeah, he's an important member of the PDA Oh, man, I like this guy most of his faces behind the ball Don Janallo Yeah, Don Janallo But that's like a lot of these are just taken at what look to be like neighborhood bowling alleys like you and I could go bowling At grandview on the weekend Ivan and we could have our own cards.
Yes, but you're forgetting that they also have the caster Oh, yeah, shankle Chris shankle and Mike Durban. There we go. The boys Nelson Burton, Jr. Oh, hey Yeah covering all the hot spots.
Oh, you might remember from the cover of the box early up He is a let he is a legend early up in the that's why he's on the front He got the box there is a checklist in here just to make sure we've got them all make sure we've got them all yeah Is art trash in here? See some of these names where's art trash. He's oh, he's here Dave Davis. That's not a real name.
Oh look at he's straddling the ball thing. Yeah I think David is my favorite is number 100 of this is just checklist. That's more the checklist That's a spot on the checklist It's a great set this is beautiful. Oh, man, I don't worry Ivan.
You're definitely going home with a few of those bad You know, I want run Bell. Oh, wow who doesn't want Ron Bell? That looks like a josten school Yeah, that's like a 1987 teacher yearbook photo Yeah, this looks like you know how the u.s. Army put out playing cards for like Iraq war criminals Yes, it's like if they did if they did if they did police it out for like sex criminals Oh, yeah, some of these guys definitely got a record The pepper is in here somewhere there's a guy just called look at the Pete Weber's dad too Oh my god, he's he's a guy whose name is just a school of fish his name is literally guppy troop I just a school of fish the troop of guppies.
There's our trash from earlier Parker bone the third I mean I this is this guy's just putting on his elbow braids I'm him injured. That's your action card like race it up Mikey God look I don't die arms. That's so good. So I Want to lock that down for all time Probably got hurt posing for it originally doing like the young pose totally So what are the other ones you sent us we've got one here that I can't really tell what set this possible could have come from It says Stockton's Ramada on it So it might be a hotel put out their own line of cards But it looks like the athletic trainer for like the San Diego Padres His name is Todd France and it says France returns to the Stockton organization for the third straight season a graduate of Northern Illinois University He spent six years practicing sports medicine with the husky athletic team Well, that'll be like Stockton, California or something right and it's from 1987.
This will be put up by the city No, it's gonna be minor league baseball. Okay, so it'll be stocked in is like that's the old Milwaukee Brewers logo Oh, I'm pretty sure isn't it or is that yeah, it is. Yeah, that's the Brewers Stockton Brewers. Yeah, so it would have been Minor League team, but yes, so it's yeah, it's not it's Milwaukee Maybe like a triple 18 or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we also have Kurt Schillings rookie card from 1988 Todd France baseball That's bad ass who would have guessed that creep stash would grow up to be an asshole And yeah, it's it's almost like a Hitler mustache almost the Kurt Schillings sport in there And this is a hit he's got a hitler mustache. He's got my haircut and he's got a bad eyebrows. Okay Actually Justin it well Justin is right Todd France is the trainer That's what the TR stands for at the bottom of the card. Yeah, cuz I found another one on Amazon Are you guys not familiar with amazing photography?
Oh my god, that's a Action shot of the oldest man. I think just reenacting how you tell if someone's having a stroke It's like the old like the early film where they showed the horse moving. Yeah, yeah This is how film works and it's that it's three frames of him taking a shot. It kind of looks like Well, it's like 95 years old.
It's like a lemon party with itself. Yeah, what's up with us? Did he say we also got I'm not sure if this is a rookie card. No, it's not so yeah, it is a trainer Todd France We did confirm this is a 1987 tops card of Jose Conseco plain for the Oakland A's Oh my god, no, it says who knew that this man would turn out to be a genius I'll pass that one around there He's hurt this hurt shilling one is great.
It's probably worth at least four dollars Hmm. I got my stashes curt shilling unbelievable. Holy shit. They have stats on the back.
I was not even This is a Bo Jackson Drug awareness killing card on Russ 89 is it a nine? Okay, perfect games on Natchett National. Yeah, you can you can find it on eBay for a dollar 29 baby It's a Bo Jackson drug awareness campaign card. He's wearing a jersey with blue jersey Which on the back says turn your back on crack the card says cocaine no, no, okay I'm back and says oh knows it's best to turn your back on crack.
Oh, yeah I fucking love Bo Jackson the problem is if he's like looking at crack then the people behind him can read a shirt Right, but if he turns around they can't read it sure they'll just see the crack and be like oh, I want that crack I'll crack is so good. We also have a pro set NFL card here for Steve Jordan tight end for the Minnesota Vikings this card is from 1989 You gave us a YouTube and there's a YouTube link attached on here. I've typed it up I'm gonna pull it up right now. It's like a lot of work people care about it's like the ad campaign for Cloverfield It's one of those the ARGs or whatever.
Yeah, so this is an ARG for Steve Jordan former tight end Of the Minnesota Vikings YouTube video we will find out I have no idea what you're here. He also sent us a debt left shrimp Oh, no, give me a second debt left Oh, there's two most parts of the car this is like the big white stiff card back here So we've got Brad low house of the Milwaukee box We've James worthy of the Lakers and we're gonna touch on them later. Yeah, we are you know We've got debt left shrimp about parks and recreation and this one to bring a link takes us to meet Mr. Perfect Hi, I'm Steve Jordan also Like a little like a horn moon is a great passer around these parts They say to Fran Tarkington is the greatest I want to introduce you to the perfect passer.
That's right. I am the perfect passer I understand you're the perfect tight end. What's your favorite? Ron that would be the Titan option route.
You know the one got it set Wow what a throwback I mean, that's a callback What an actor Steve Jordan there people pay a lot of attention to our show with Kurt and I totally forgot about Steve Jordan So beautiful all right well this week. I think we got to save that I don't know we also have taken a long time I know that's true. I'm gonna save it. Let's save that one for the next episode.
Are you sure? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, unfortunately we have to yeah, we're really great. Yeah, that's good.
We'll keep attention We'll keep attention and we just saw a clip right there of Steve Jordan and there's a lot of clips to get into this week There's been almost two weeks since we last recorded true We thought we were gonna take a week off from having John on the show But wound up scheduling it just right you just got back tonight so that you could be on this one And what an eventful couple weeks it's been in your house as you will try some Tim Tams imported fresh from Australia Where do we want to begin here because take your pick? Let's go Barkley. Okay, let's get right into this would be our clip of the week this week Charles Barkley guessed it on the Dan Patrick show This was a almost 50 minute long appearance during which there were probably a good 20 possible clip of the week candidates But we have settled on this one and I'm happy for you. You guys are terrific and you know we should do for ratings I see you got all these TVs on yeah like if I get a disease and I'm gonna die how about I bring you get skilled Bayless in here and I'm killing live on that television.
I like it. Yeah, I like pay for you Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no just get him in here. Okay, you know and I like only when I know I'm a die Fritzy can we set this up? But just let us know what I just wanted to get skips in the room one time just beat him like a dog You kill him.
Yes, only if I knew I was gonna only if you were gonna. Yeah. Yeah, not if I'm gonna live I don't want to be in prison because it's my horn say they would love you in Charles Barkley and the coverage over here we go if Charles Barkley were terminally ill he would kill skit Bayless I originally thought it was about skit Bayless being terminally ill and he was gonna put him on his read That's what I thought going on on Twitter, but it was even better. Yeah, it's Charles Barkley saying like I'm gonna die I'm able to do it.
I don't like the implication that he beats dogs though. He's a dog Yeah, he's like a dog and then Patrick says you're gonna kill him and he says yes Yeah, well, I doesn't apply to Charles Barkley kills I think that I think that confirms that Charles Barkley owns and operates a dog fighting League I'm just putting that out there. It seems like he's got like a puppy mill. Yeah inside the NBA.
I'm a set it inside the NBA Absolutely, there's a puppy mill under the desk there how much strength are you maintaining while terminally ill? I mean Charles Barkley's mind. It's enough to kill skit He's gonna be he's gonna be like jacked and then dead Well cuz like healthy Charles Barkley is like way stronger than the norm the average person. Yeah Yeah, so you you can't grade him with like a turn So Bayless is also very old.
Yeah, he's old and he's he's kind of entry works I also assume he's doing this almost immediately after learning that he has a turmoilness. So it hasn't really like stricken him yet Yeah, he's not like a wheelchair. Yeah, but like that also doesn't just grant you diplomatic immunity. No, but he's basically He's like he's saying like I said, yeah, I think he's basically saying like he would just kill himself after it came to that I guess I don't know.
I mean, I'm not about to sit here and get into Charles Barkley psyche, but I'm assuming I come for him He's just gonna scream no prison can hold me down by police I like the idea or not the idea But I like that the biggest laugh he gets is for like the oldest like street joke in the book I'm just like well, I'm too good for prison like I don't think anyone in prisons really like I hope we get Charles Barkley Yeah, I'm gonna make I'm gonna make minced me down to him a long time since I've seen a woman, you know what is a good replacement? Charles Barkley a terminally ill charles get that sweet cup in here That sweet jealous That was our clip of the week gone to Charles Barkley Like that was our official clip of the week. Did he okay? Yes, that was our official clip of the week just before we move up Does he like what where did the fight come from with him and skit Bayless like what's the There's been this history almost anyone most people hate skit Bayless I'm playing in the NBA or is around the NBA would probably want to scrap with skit Bayless right right?
I've never played in the NBA I'd scrap skit Bayless. So right. Oh, yeah, well, we know you'd I mean if skit Bayless was 17 You'd for sure scrap him Charles Barkley says this isn't 2011 19 John. Thank you 2011 he called him the biggest jackass in the history of journalism.
Okay, let's see in 2013 as a headline saying yes Charles Barkley still wants to kill skit Bayless. Okay, so eight years before 2013 Charles Barkley said that skit Bayless is one of the two people I'd like to kill and then he also I mean We can quickly watch this right now Justin I think it's a quick clip of him threatening to kill so this is obviously premeditate Like there's no question. It's been going on for years. I think yeah, so okay I just sent it to you now we can quickly watch this too.
So this is from 23rd It's a big at 23rd and this is on inside the NBA with everyone with the whole crew and then the shack is there. Okay Yeah, let's see what we got here. I Know that battle we call it Matt. It's not about us a beef with black book.
We call it beef Before Rappers we have beefs yeah, check the rappers. I don't think these are bad with anybody so Skip Bayless was coming at your rack about a week ago I could get skit Bayless in a room and there we need DNA to define who it was I Heard in terms of like threatening someone they would need DNA to find out it was him DNA I like that's on national television. He just said that and no like he obviously didn't get fired like no one Yeah, I got a command for sticking to his guns. This is four years ago true.
No, I like it good for him Yeah, but I guess we're talking a little bit about prison inmates lusting after Charles Barkley there and speaking of a misplaced affection Comes to us from the premier soccer league For itself Primiship a man of the match Muhammad on us Congratulations Muhammad. I'm sure coming down here and making sure you walk away with something is a good achievement But looking at the balance of play. I'm sure you can have won that game tonight I thank you very much, and I think all my take over I always wish to win one of these and I got it So thank you very much for for giving me this and I appreciate my face also my wife and my girlfriend I mean my wife. Yeah, sorry to say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. My please. I love you so much I love you so much for my heart now, so must keep on supporting me and thanks for to come to the game Scramble like the look at his eyes. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry trying to do it. Yeah, I'm sorry to my wife It would have been great for God. He also makes Satan I love you so much We know he is above us Yeah, I mean what is it like what it even better if he had just not caught himself and kept going yeah Because he drew me more attention to when he was like I love my wife. I love her I'm gonna think you're like 15 times in a row now.
Yeah, you know wife my girlfriend I mean my wife Thank you to my wife and my girlfriend my former girlfriend who I married and Yeah, I think that's probably what he meant. Yeah, it seemed to me like that's what he meant to you Pro athlete I don't know. They have a long history of fidelity and honesty Nobody respects the bonds of marriage more than professional athlete absolutely right is this better than the Andy Murray one Because the Andy Murray one was pretty and he's funny that he added his own teammate for having a girl Well, that one we have certainty that it definitely was yeah, it was a mistress for sure as this could be a slip of the time Potentially and he mari one so this is so is the Davis cop and they they won I think we played it on the show before they've so yeah, so they They won and one of his teammates was What was you know, I think they were in wherever they were playing like they were in Poland or they're on the road What's just here right now? Okay, I got it right here perfect.
This is a revisit to the clip of the week You're gonna be on a flight. You can't enjoy the celebrations, but we really hope your teammates can have a drink on you Yeah, Dom's got got a little girlfriend on the go here in the west Yeah, he's maybe celebrate the furthest evening Dom Dom come on come on Oh Great fellas Yeah, just really holding up that sanctity of girlfriend ship. I mean there's no second-in-gride He's not Mary was not in the eyes of Lord. I don't care.
Yeah, it's not around the cup the big man of a tabernacle. Yeah. I don't care now Speaking oh sorry. No, go ahead.
No, no, no. I was I was whining it. Okay. I was gonna do a segue from the previous bark Lequiv speaking of skip Bayless skip a list is broadcast partner.
Yes, even a smith. Yes got into it Oh my god with Levar ball the father of a lawns. Oh ball who has been lighting it up for you yellow ball Le melo ball is lighting it up in high school and levar did he play pro-be played? He played college basketball.
Okay, and so he can't not play when ball is literally your name true true Is life Ball is Like this clip. I mean it's like two minutes long. We'll play the whole thing. Yeah, it's unreal Stephen A Smith We've has been a clip of the weaker a couple times before insane broadcaster and Levar ball makes the absurd claim that he could beat Michael Jordan at one-on-one Which Stephen A Smith has a real issue with and then Levar ball quadruples down on it by saying that he could never lose to anyone at one I feel like this is like a pointed attack on Stephen A Smith just to try to make his brain explode It almost works.
Yeah, it's a pretty amazing. It's it's ridiculous because you kind of are like Stephen A Smith is like on the right side here Oh, yeah, which happened so rarely my brain explodes. We found someone that can defeat Stephen A Yeah, but let's just roll it. Yeah, we talk about the go here greatest wall Tom Michael Jordan I Think with the best You do you on record talking about put your son on the go to say war yes, and put Steph Curry or UCLA Yes, your son would explain You Suns continue to get famous.
There's no doubt about it. I think he's taking like the prison approach as we're talking to prison earlier Yeah, I've like just take on the biggest baddest guy on your first day. That's true. Take the biggest loudmouth.
Yeah. Yeah, so yeah He's challenging Michael Jordan No, he says it is prime he could beat Michael Jordan one-on-one and then says that his own son who is only averaging 15 points a game Would be better than Steph Curry in the same situation. It's it's intangibles. He's a more team play right right?
Right, right? Steph will shoot them out the game. I mean easily the best part is when he's like what's Steph six two and Steven's like now He's six three's like oh let him be six four still not as tall as my boy. Oh my god I like the part where he said he was gonna wears own son would be afraid to play him on one.
Oh, he's got the old man I think about it, right? He's not saying that totally. I'm not saying that he would be he's scary looking also He's definitely very big on hinge multiple times during that video Yeah, I think if any like athletes father is most likely to murder some like if you just heard like athletes father murders man You'd be like well, that's probably love our he's like the Lindsay Lohan's dad. Yes Athletic father It's funny.
I think that was pretty funny. I don't know It's kind of like a drunken mess of a man who likes to lower money and shit Yeah, you just funny like a being John Malkovich. Oh, that's like a tragic He's funny in like a like a shindler's list Really funny. It's like that.
You know the part where it's just like such an irrepressible tragedy. It's funny. Yeah, you know that comedy Real uplifter Absolutely, that's why I watch it. I think I've ever seen shindler's list actually a grown man Doesn't really sound that good, right?
You're like a black and white movie about the Holocaust There's some red in there. Yeah, it's like Red dress. Oh, right. Okay.
You guys are both See all these things of color. Yeah, it's like symbolic of innocence. Maybe yeah, chastity. I don't know cups Yeah, she's actually yeah, she has tarot cards, but they're all cups five of cups Did you just say to me you heard me the five of cups?
I don't know if that's a good or bad card I don't even know this is my favorite hack tarot card joke in every show about tarot cards is when they're like death That's bad. No, it's good every Like a squirrel or something comes up. Yeah, and then it's like the cute frog. Oh, that's really bad Yeah, it's good.
It's a good card means luck But yeah a grown man making baseless assertions that he could dominate literally anyone in a professional sports setting I don't really think there's any like relatable content in there I doesn't sound familiar to me at all but you would say speaking of which I think we can segue into our top three I believe we got questions of the week Hey, yo, it's the top three questions of the week on real good show. You know what the fuck it is bitch We murder and CFL podcast up in this motherfucker Russell look out Ivan do you want to do murder now? Yeah You just see just you can't see this but I've been to the corporate tonight He's wearing a really nice button up shirt, and he just ripped it off his body. Yeah, you know what?
I'm one-on-one I could murder anybody Lapping at your joke, but not now like five years ago. Yeah, exactly. Well, you can take on take Yeah, whatever you get a murderer fictional murderers. I'll murder Dexter one-on-one You doesn't get a kill room.
It's one-on-one no kill no planning He's gonna need help my own son would be afraid of me anyway, okay guys What oh yeah Sorry, yes question number three He's pointing something out to us it's more of those like talk about questions You know because you see that on a lot of this yeah You see that on a lot of interviews because there was that whole controversy about the sports illustrated for kids question You guys see that go around on Twitter? No, there's like so sports illustrated for kids has had some reporters at the final four Or well not the final four hasn't happened yet But at some of the March Madness games and this one reporter got mad at one of the kids for asking a question that he felt was like not analogous to the game and People just like fucking lit them up all over it and that whole thing was going in on a child Yeah, it was yeah, it was child abuse and so they so they went in on a child and then so other people were like well Here were the other questions that were asked and they were all like piss poor questions from old white men I'm not a lot of them were talk about so this is like a talk about question so this is the 100-point question this week from red River Rebel at fibrous internet and He slash she asks or says please discuss the lea McLaren situation. So I've been doing you have any you've been following along on the Twitter tonight? Lea McLaren yes of the McLaren F1 car company Yes, and you'll see how that's related once the Justin reads what the story is the Canadian media controversy of the hour and Boy what a what a controversy it is Lee McLaren is a columnist for the Globe and Mail who published this column from her And it only stayed up on their website for maybe half an hour before somebody had the idea that I believe she might be confessing to a crime Yeah, we should probably pull this it reads like you're forced to sign after a police What the headline is lea McLaren the joy and politics of breastfeeding someone else's baby Politics that's the main problem.
Oh, it gets better The subheading is the odd thing about breastfeeding another mother's infant it doesn't actually feel odd at all And so for the record this was up on the Globe Mail's website Which is like the New York Times of Canada for our American listeners. It's pretty big Yeah, it's like but it was literally up for a record. Yeah, it was up for legitimately four minutes There's one tweet that links to it and so it's on the internet archive or whatever So someone found it on there the actual it's been taken down it was taken down within minutes We begin watching the disparity in moral fumbling match the passes for a conservative party leadership campaign this spring I've often found myself reminded of the time I tried to breastfeed Michael Chong's baby to be fair at the time I didn't know it was mr. Chong's baby I didn't even know mr.
Chong who was now as he was then the conservative MP for Wellington all the mills and currently the best pick of an Otherwise sad litter for CPC leader the breast feeding incident occurred at a Toronto House party It was an in-between sort of evening neither a rager nor a formal gathering I can I can stop you there quickly because you can't have a sentence where you say the breastfeeding incident occurred and then Followed up by saying it was like pretty normal. It was like in between I also like the use of the word litter Like there's like a whole litter of like he was the saddest pick of the litter as though to suggest like there's a lot of babies And I'm taking time out from your heinous baby rape story Just slam the conservative party. Oh, yeah, it's got to slide that in there Yeah, it was neither a rager nor a formal dinner party the sort of casual and expensively lubricated early evening tonight gathering that Exhausted people in their 30s with small children tend to favor I was about 25 and did not have a baby or even a boyfriend at the time She's describing the orgy from eyes what shut And I was broody in the way that young women in their late 20s off an hour Rudy but she was in her mid-dwaddies before they realized that turning 30 is just the beginning of something rather than a vertiginous cliff There's a there's a $10 word Unlucky young women fall to die alone and be forgotten. Oh, right click the sore is Vertiginous.
Yeah that one I was feeling a bit glum and distracted So I'd wandered upstairs in search of a bathroom in which to reapply my lipstick and check my phone for random texts from inappropriate men This was before tinder I walked into a bedroom with coats piled high on the bed and noticed that in the corner sitting wide awake in a little portable car seat Was the cutest baby I'd ever seen on the table beside him was a monitor I smiled at the baby the baby smiled back now this was a connection I Horrible I leaned over and literally picked him up and then sat down in a chair to give him a cuddle He felt gorgeous in my arms all warm and lumpy and milky smelling in the way Milky smelling the way small that you like you know that milk smells somehow my pinky finger ended up in his mouth And I was astonished at the strength of his sucking reflex This is like penthouse for them if there was a penthouse form equivalent for highlights for children I Never thought this would happen to me. Yeah, this lady came in at my parents party Also came in wearing a hot number I could tell she was at that point in her 20s when she was really looking for some hot Baby, and also here are the seven differences between those two photos the end of a lesson. I was feeling particularly gorgeous She looked at me and I smiled back and that's what I knew we had a connection This keeps going I was astonished at the strength of his sucking reflex come on lady said his eyes No, and suddenly I knew what he wanted Just even I of course wanted to give him what he wanted the only problem was I had no milk, but what if that's the only We both know that's what we can all agree 500 words in that is the only Objectionable thing that has been said so far, but would it be so bad? I wondered if I just tried it out just for a minute just to see what it felt like I looked at the baby monitor as if it Might be watching me, but thankfully this was before monitors had cameras Then slowly carefully so as not to jostle the infant I began to unbutton my blouse just as I was reaching into my bra a Shortish man with a navy suit walked into the room.
Oh, um hello He said in a friendly upbeat tone that could not entirely conceal the fact that he was flummoxed to see me sitting there with my top half Unbuttoned holding his baby. I see you've met my son The man of course was Michael Chong of course, I never caught the baby's name Mr. Chong took his son bathed me a swift and polite goodbye And I didn't see him again for the rest of the party probably because he left sensibly with his family an hour later Well, I no doubt hung around talking nonsense until after midnight Lord I realized now that it was wrong and rude and frankly a bit weird of me to think I could breast me the strangers baby Just for kicks especially when you don't have milk duct anyway I hate to think what would have happened if mr. Chong or worse his wife had walked in while I was in the act I think if I found a strange woman one who was both childless and milkless nursing my baby at a party I'd be inclined to give her a swift smack upside that and then call the police having said that in the years since Having my own babies.
I have two or three times breastfed my friends babies and let my babies in turn be fed by them So wait, what is the point of this article? Like what was the point? She was trying to make that it is weird to put your nipple in a foreign babies mouth because hey We're all on board or coming up on the end here. Oh, so I thought you're done now and here's the odd thing I find it all up Yeah, these things are really gonna make sense in act three.
Are they? Here's the odd thing I found about breastfeed in another mother's infant It doesn't actually feel odd at all feeding my friend Kiki's son Diego and my friend Rosie's daughter Delilah I had the same thought yep I could keep this baby or any baby alive with my body if I really needed to and the babies were equally blasé about the whole thing You'll do in a pinch They seem to be saying as they burrow down for a snack of unmother's milk It was heartening actually that is the worst sentence I've ever heard in my entire life burrow down for a snack of unmother's milk and even a little bit Moved puking like that viral video a few years back of the actress Salma Hayek breastfeeding an orphaned baby in Sierra Leone She was astonished at how easy and normal it felt and so was I my fleeting co-feeding experiences made me wonder why with all the fuss That's made over the health benefits of breastfeeding wet nurses I eat lactating nannies aren't more of a thing I mean if you could afford it why not have an extra pair of lactating boobs around for the crucial first year those 18th century aristocrats had one thing Right in any case This is all to say that breastfeeding is a lovely and marvelous thing as is co-feeding and everyone should do it Just don't try it with a stranger's baby in a bedroom at a party of your 25 and stupid Apologies to mr. And Mrs. Chime.
Oh, you know who was impregnating those wet nurses the husband you idiot My god No, I don't think so or at least I hope not while they're on porn hub there That's a big and just name like she names the dude. Yeah, it's horrible Someone's gonna ask Michael Chang this had to be like 15 years ago or so She looks like a lady in her but like I've definitely I've definitely seen and read articles about this idea of like of like Being like sharing milk with your friends Yeah, what is the story at the beginning it doesn't have anything to do with anything other than creeping everyone the fuck I'm gonna brag about being at a party Yeah, I used to be at parties checking my phone for texts from inappropriate men to be an interesting first day back at school after spring break tomorrow for Michael John's now teenage Why was the sentence waiting for texts from inappropriate? Yeah, not inappropriate texts from yeah the men were inappropriate They were very reasonable texts. Yeah, just me.
Can you bring me some bananas? I killed dogs Man is inappropriate. Oh my god, that is so that's a hundred points are bringing that to our staff That's yeah, it was that I mean the story was great looking at the look on Ivan's face the whole time was also really great Oh my god, everything about it was great. Oh, okay next question So I like we could all just be journalists then is that what that teaches them for tiginess man?
You can throw that in there you are good to go for tiginess cliff for tiginess cliff Just use the the sorest to find like five different words that you don't really know how to use but think you might Toss him in there. Awesome. Good to go. Good to go baby.
All right. Well in a stark I like the I was like imagining the end of that like highlights letters being like we made a connection then she pulled her boob out No milk what a fucking bit. No milk in there at all. She had an empty tip.
Yeah horrible I love it like a baby wasn't even crying. I was trying to calm it down. It was just like literally yeah Like I felt casual to it. Yeah real cash Like the right thing to do in the moment the baby admitted a form of human magnetism Just so gorgeous.
No gorgeous. Well, I mean Kurt Schilling has told us we do say that all the time like look at that beautiful boy Look at that handsome young man. Okay. Here we go 200 points This is a stark contrast to what just took place because it's a very fun question Marlin the man Marlin Phillips asks What are some gimmicky rules that would be created if there was an XFL s cocky league?
I E they had their fumble coin toss So where they had to run out to yeah So they put the football at the 50 yard line They started at the 20 or something they had to run after the ball and the first person to get the ball one And the very first fumble coin toss the guy like the shoulder their best and the best player in the lead Yeah, or who they thought was gonna be the best player yet So this is for an XFL like the XHL. Yeah Well, they'll probably eliminate the blue lines. I'd imagine off sides is no longer a thing Yeah, probably like the no fair catch equivalent of goal. These are fair game.
You can hit goalies. Oh Hitting is no drop is away. They can go wherever you can hit goalies I think too they would go like the puck would be a different shape like the puck would be a triang it would also be constantly 3 on 3. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah. Yeah, the pucks a triangle and oh, yeah I don't even know all the glass is sugar glass. So every time you check Are always smashing through the glasses permanently explodes.
I was part of it when you go to see the game. Yeah, we're like a beekeepers Glass sugar all over. Yeah, it's just constant smashing. Yeah, I like that The refs are our repurposed battle bots.
Oh, yeah for sure that in there reps can trip you that's part Yeah, because well, we did have a question a couple weeks ago about like what sport would be the best if the refs open carried and followed the Stand Your Ground law That's kind of like that Basically yeah, the rest are robots and they can hurt you at any time like if goalies are fair game They need to like weaponize their equipment in some way also definitely you have like a spiked blocker that you can use to defend yourself Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'm sticking to out for so in this xHL a lot of the players die. So it's a thing that no But not like not like a little like lethal spikes, but just right okay. Yeah soft spikes like hardened plastic not like sharp metal Yeah, okay, sure.
Yeah, that's reasonable. What about like holes in the ice field is fall I like that because we also had a question about that if there was like Slow it down and traps. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So not only is there the solution of the ice that's missing We've also had to drill down into the floor of the arena Poor gravel in there. Yeah, blue lines are gravel.
Yeah, I like that jump. You better jump over it One of the players can't wait is not allowed to wear skates They got to play their feet. They just like crampons maybe but like no skate There's no time limit on the game anymore. 60 minutes 20 minutes cricket doesn't matter the game only officially ends when the last pane of sugar glass Sismans Beauty And the number one question this week comes in from longtime listener and by that I mean very short time listener But he's very very very This comes in from Duncan at Duncan I don't know on Twitter and he asks me but we can answer this as a whole if we want to who is culling the comics Favorite straight-edge athlete and least favorite straight-edge athlete.
So unitariously. So I am yes, I am straight edge. I'm straight edge I guess okay. Well, yeah, but I don't like Okay, yeah, well other than the huge tattoo I have I'm not straight-edge, but you have the Pepsi logo Yeah, absolutely.
I just love Pepsi a lot So I would say my least favorite well start with the least favorite my least favorite straight-edge athlete is Russell Wilson I think he's a real bummer. I don't like him. I think he's very weird pictures of him with yeah They're like see era baby pictures really threw me off and I just yeah, he just he's not cool about it, you know For the last time I thought that like Russell Wilson and Sierra had like broken up because the way that he tweets about her gave off kind of like a Robin thick Paula Patton vibe right right right right right right he's just publicly trying to win her back at all times Yeah, yeah, yeah, but now they're barely together. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, Russell Wilson has a he has he plays arena football It's a dedication to Sierra and no one watches it. That is a real deep dive joke on how bad Robin fix breakup all the Like that was crazy you guys remember that like yeah, I was just all about him. Sorry for cheating on you Yeah, it was called Paula and it sold like legitimately like 500 copies It was like an insane like a number you couldn't even comprehend But as far as my favorite straight-edge athlete goes I am gonna go with AC green So he was he was a very famous virgin so I don't know about his drinking and drugs But it seemed like he wasn't on board with that either and he was ball-sell as well He was what? Voluntarily celibate.
Oh, it was in cell which is involuntary. Oh, I got you. Oh, he was definitely fall cell He played on the Lakers in a very sexual. I would almost argue he's the biggest ball-sell of all time based on the shit He had to put up.
Yeah, sure pure opportunity. Yeah, so AC green So I'm I found out a lot about him from this there was a short documentary made about him not that long ago Because he's also the NBA Iron Man. He never missed a game as in his entire NBA career And he was a virgin the entire time and so they made will Ferrell and Adam McKay made like a funny short documentary called the Iron Virgin And this came out like a year ago. So people made some Made some articles about it.
So this one's from the Daily Beast and I'm just gonna read some excerpts So they're talking about first of all how difficult it was to party with the Lakers at that time because Magic Johnson was so aggressive And so this is a ex-lakers teammate Frank Borkowski describing a Magic Johnson party He said he would have the finest girls in LA there the absolute finest and at midnight you had to get busy with somebody or you Had to get the fuck out So if you were a guy at midnight you'd get as close as you could to the hottest possible woman magic went around in this freaky voyeuristic way He'd check on you. He'd go throughout the house the pool. He'd order people to start doing things All you had to do was be near a chick. There were guys who would yell magic.
She's not getting busy She's not and then he'd run over and she'd get busy You know what I'm saying to me is that like sexually like nothing bad ever came with this romantic Johnson Yeah, no nothing at all good. It was just all super good. So green Chased man he organized a school-wide protest after finding out that playboy was being sold on campus and then opposed This is one of my favorite moments of the article opposing crowds began to taunt AC green during free throws with cutouts of women and bikinis So pretty solid and then anyway they go on to explain that in his rookie season Magic Johnson didn't believe him He's like no I'm celibate. I'm not into this and Magic Johnson was like fine We're all gonna bet he's like I bet you don't last two months He's like if you can last two months without fucking someone in the NBA you win and the pot was $600 an AC green one No problem, and then he has a great quote here.
The pot would be a lot bigger I know this is 1990. Yeah, so it's not I mean that's probably a couple thousand now But that's yeah So then AC green this my favorite quote of the entire article because green was a tenacious player despite being a virgin that seems to be the like Thing an article like oh even though he didn't focus all of his sexual energy to be exactly player on the court So green says I'm gonna hit and I'm gonna hit and I'm gonna hit green set of his aggressive style of play And I learned that from reading the Old Testament I think Jesus would have been the kind of basketball player that would have been unstuck So just for that quote alone AC green is my favorite He also did a celibacy rap song with himself David Robinson and Barry Sanders And it's like possibly the most 90s thing I've ever seen Justin can throw that up on the blog But yeah, he ended up retiring in 2001 married a lady in 2002 and they consummated the marriage after that he finally fucked he finally Yes, he finally fucked so AC green is my favorite straight-edge. Thank you. Yes.
We yes. I salute you age AC green AJ Slater AC Slater, okay Yeah, and I'm still waiting so if any if there any ladies out there You said you slept with someone earlier on this podcast No, I didn't When did you guys start recording I usually just come on the show and I'm like hey guess what I slept with a girl We don't have a theme song for me to bang and welcome back to John Banks chairs So who'd you bang this week John well there was this one lady this listen she was a nice lady inappropriate text I feel like this is a very difficult question to answer because like how many players are like public with the fact that they don't partake Yeah, like that I know what I think AC green is just like the famous answer But yeah, I couldn't really think of anyone else that I know off of like by I didn't even know how to google So like noted UFC fighter CM Punk. Yeah, and then like the rest of the guys I just be guessing on personality like I would think that like Sydney Crosby might qualify But it seems like he maybe has some beers okay So this is a list from this list from bleacher report So they have CJ Wilson who is a hundred percent straight edge apparently pitcher I can see baseball having a lot of yeah, so he Crosby is on this list I don't know if he is I don't know if he's actually straight edge And I'm also curious about his girl like I'm I feel like Sydney is possibly gay and I don't know I just I got a he's just such a mystery Yeah I mean he has a longtime girlfriend that he finally revealed when they won the Stanley Cup this year and she just happened to be on Ice and they're like oh by the way, this is Crosby's girlfriend and he's also been dating her for like five years But he doesn't like to talk about but like I also just very quiet I have to commend him for being able to maintain a pretty secretive private life while at the same time being the most famous Hockey player in the world, you know, right right that's pretty impressive. Oh, yeah, I guess there's Tim Tebow.
Oh, yeah That's pretty famous. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't never liked him really though. He sucks.
Yeah. He sucks Yeah, these are these balls with him is still happening somehow. I keep going. Yeah.
Oh, yeah They're just there to really try it straight. It's not even sexy. It doesn't have to it can but it doesn't have to yeah Yeah straight edges like when if drinking you don't drink and you don't do drugs, but you still like are tough right Hardened in the streets whereas like John is just like I don't drink and I don't do drugs But but I'm hard No, I'm definitely not tough. That's for sure.
Yeah, I don't know I it's not to say like even this list that they have on on on Wikipedia It's a motion cashier on here. Is that true the comedian? Yeah, no the other motion cashier. I don't know I feel like that would be like he was like maybe had problems and then yeah I think he grew up around some pretty strange things in Oakland right now.
Yeah, that's what I thought too So yeah, a lot of these people like that they have on this list of straight edge people It's definitely people that I know like had issues Yeah, I think that qualifies no exactly start straight. Yeah, I think so too You can't just like get it all out of the way in your 20s. Yeah, and then you know what I'm straight edge now that I have kids That's like retiring and then saying you're undefeated Like I don't play anymore. So technically I've never lost.
Yeah, it's very true. It's not like a born-again Christian thing It's not come to Jesus moment. It's like a come to cranberry juice. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I'm just I love soda water now I found my calling and it was bubbles with nothing else I don't want any taste. I just like the bubbles. How does it make you feel afterwards stronger better?
More confident? No Bubble feel those bobs Great questions. Yeah great. Well from Dean Martin.
He says I feel bad for people Don't drink because they wake up in the morning and that's the best they're gonna feel all day I mean, yeah, I'm a loser guys. We've all established it. Yeah, I think either my favorite team art and code is I'm gonna throw a pizza at that woman's face It's a great quote. Yeah, can I argue with that?
But I think Duncan is up to like episode like 57 something like that She started a month and a half ago. Yeah, he's on a pretty impressive run. Yeah from 1 to 88 18 might be by the time we get there. Yeah, yeah, uh, but we will go from there into everyone's favorite segment because it means we're on the home stretch The cherry on top of our cynical Sunday where we pick the things we like from the world at large one good thing He's a lot of people of each other the world would be a better place to live and this is a cultural recommendation for the folks at large Ivan gentlemen, what do you like this week?
Uh, there was like a pizza gate protest yesterday in DC and I don't know if you were following On twitter. I was funniest thing Uh, it was like kind of depressing too, but because there's like a family this like young couple with like three children and they're you know, pizza gate is I know pizza gate. Yeah, is that like a hashtag of like some kind of angry pizza thing that happened? Yes.
Yeah, pretty pretty I feel it. Uh, so it's I mean, there's a lot of I don't want to die. It's the only conspiracy theory that Alex Jones has forced me Walked back. He just doubled down it again today and said I've got more pizza information breaking tomorrow So this is like some serious pizza stuff.
It's like uh, there's a there's like a satanic uh child sex ring being run out of a washing and DC pizza parlor There is a bit frequented by like Hillary Clinton John Podesta all those guys It was like the neighborhood pizza place that the DNC would order all of their lunch from Yeah, so when their leaked emails came out crazy right wing people were like, oh like the pizza is code for child sex So cheese or no cheese or no sauce means that they're shaved balls like it's all coated for sex things and like they had a real uh weirdo Child episode. Yeah, they have like all ages shows at this uh the pizza place and the right wing like shut-ins were like All ages like what is that because they live in fucking butt fuck Tennessee? Yeah, they don't have all ages shows Uh, but yeah, one good thing is this protest was just absolutely insane and there was a guy who brought a pizza box And obviously had just like emptied out because there was like pizza grease Yeah, what was the stuff in there and you wrote something about how pizza gate is a conspiracy? Uh the government wants to harvest our lush and they look this up L.
O. S. H and it's like this like body energy that aliens harvest he's wearing like a mat like a v4 vendetta mat And I mean it was just this murder is row Um, but yeah, the family was the best because all three of the kids were wearing custom Yeah, the family was wearing that said I am not pizza Actually, the best was when the African American woman went up on stage and was talking about pizza gate And connecting it to those missing girls in DC and everyone was cheering and then she started talking about white privilege And they all started booing her Pizza gate, I believe white privilege. Uh, let's let's hold on a second A friend of the show mike tunison had a great tweet where he took the photo of that family with throw them all in their custom t-shirts And jucks of houses with a shot from the simpsons of when like child services comes to the house and Maggie has a note tape to her That says I'm a stupid baby These need the most of them Uh, so yeah, that's that's pretty good.
Yeah, that's not one good thing. All right. I'm gonna go to twitter for mine as well Last weekend I had an exchange with the rock band diarrhea planet. Oh, yeah And uh, it was one of the funniest twitter exchange I've ever had because it was also related to this show which made me laugh very hard So what happened was I just tweeted out a late night thought I said here is a list of bands I refused to listen to based on their name and then I wrote pure bathing culture perfume genius and diarrhea planet And then someone responded to that.
Uh, I don't remember Uh, where it was but someone responded to that tweet and diarrhea planet favored it It meaning that they were kind of involved in the thread so I said that I was I thought it was really funny that diarrhea planet Fave one of the songs I will now listen to exactly one of their songs and then they fave that tweet again I was like I see that you fave that what song should I listen to and they sent me a youtube link and it was a link to 311's amber Which we talked about with nikdikah. It's a classic recurring song on new metal. Yeah, absolutely. So, uh, so yeah, that was just funny to me because like I said Yeah, we talked about it on the nikdikah episode so I uh, I said, okay Okay, you guys got me now and I downloaded their album turn to gold and so I'll recommend diarrhea planets turn to gold So they won you over I don't even know if I like it.
I mean listen to it yet, but they won't be okay They won't be over with the tweets enough that I will recommend that tweet string and their album wonderful Ivan What I gotta do make a culture recommendation or like anything good I like where is there like a video game you like or an album you're liking right now? Sexing so oh I was gonna I don't know like I was definitely hey, I was gonna bring up that thing Um, I mean if you want a good comedy album that I listened to on a plane Kurt Metzger's white precious is very good I flew home from Prince George and I was laughing enough that the person in the seat next to me was doing this sideways look like Nice, but I mean if you want to go to Twitter there was a thing today with United Airlines. They got in trouble And I'm pretty happy about it because apparently they were just I don't like I understand why or how and I didn't even get to the conclusion of it Because I had to go and do something but they were denying women on the plane because of their pants like they're wearing leggings and they're like no Yeah, no leggings. I was like I've never seen this happen.
I fly like every week and just like some united employees like reddit in the hand But we're supposed to deny well today. We gotta start now. They're not dressed appropriately Yeah, and then united left at the discretion of whoever's working Yes at the time and united came out and said like just horribly like their blue check account was like hey We have the right to do this. Okay.
All right. Yeah, and then delta came in and was like hey You can do it every one on our plane. We're good And but they speed someone else's baby. Yeah, it's all good He wants to come in here Somebody said that the reason why they don't know leggings is because they melt on the emergency slides That was the reason I saw that too the spandex or yeah It's like yeah, it was like if you slide down a slide it'll melt on you I think if the emergency slide has been deployed we're probably not too worried about some pant melting Also like there's gonna be like firemen there.
Yeah, it's like girls. Oh my god. Oh, you know what just kill me Just I'll be glad I don't want anyone to see my melted butt pants If the slide is deployed the plane obviously did not make a normal landing Like it's probably exploded and I'm sure at that point you're worried about your limbs missing not like all my pants though Well, two of the girls didn't make it, but one of them had their buttocks. So it's about their mouth God forbid Oh united you idiot.
I did the one remember when they someone accidentally tweet out the picture of the the woman with the plane in her vagina Was that united? No, no. Yes. I do remember it was like masturbating herself with a toy plane.
Yes, and it got tweeted out by the airline. Yes. Yes As a reply to someone I think but it got yeah, it was awesome. That is the very it was extremely explicit Well, let me just google a plane vagina great work, you know, all right.
I'm back on board never mind US Airways pick of woman with toy airplane in her vagina Oh, it's us airways a photo of a woman's vagina with a model plane And it was accidentally tweeted by us Airways in response to a customer complaint and left up on their feed for an hour before it was deleted. Oh my god Yeah, here's the uncensored one. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm on it.
We welcome your feedback. L if travel is complete you can detail here for review and follow Oh my god Job, my twitter is so good. The original photo can be easily found online under the search terms amateur girl crazy bizarre insertion This conversation certainly went in an interesting direction quickly Justin, I went to a concert last Monday. It was the homecoming show the final night of the tour for at Vancouver's own japan droids Who played the Commodore with Craig Finn last week and it was a wonderful concert Because it was the last night of the tour.
I feel like their voices were like a little shot at that point six weeks in But the crowd energy just made it so electric it reminded me a lot of like going to like punk shows at community centers in high school But just like that kind of vibe put into a larger venue So the crowd was crazy It was like the most crowd surfing that I've ever seen at the Commodore before and So great show great man and a great album to their new record is the same name as the lead single near to the wild heart of life And I would strongly recommend checking it out. It's only eight songs that took them five years to write from their last album But well worth the wait from our our own japan droids Yeah, and with that that will do it for this week's episode our roommate continues to be No one as we record live in the real good studios here in olympic village are interns and the fine folks at seaky promo code real good Our guest has been Ivan Decker Ivan. Thank you for doing the show. Thank you for having me How can people find you I am on twitter at united airlines No spay hashtag no spay hashtag planes up the cup Uh, and Ivan Decker is my twitter handle and I have an album on Spotify actions all that stuff called I wanted to be a dinosaur if you want to listen to my comedy And that's that's all I'll tell you about me wonderful Uh, if you like the show, please support it and help stephen make his dream of fucking It's not like a true.
No, it's been your lifelong dream. It's one of the first things you told me when we first met Absolutely, uh, so I was like whoa, I remember I specifically remember it. We were at the cottage whatever the craven caught Is it as a child it was one of those? And uh, stavin was just said, you know, he's like, whoa, fucking have you ever heard one of these real doll things?
So as a child it was one of those inflatable clowns that you punch and it comes back. I don't want that Okay, I want to fuck it. I want to punch it. All right.
Now Revolve now your taste of change. I guess it's a dream. Are you not? Are you not gonna punch you real doll version of yourself?
Back in the back of the head So that website again is patreon.com Give us money for that guys That's what we want money for this you buy us on twitter at real good show the website is real good show.com the facebook group If you search for real good show is a ton of fun as well until next week. I'm Justin Morrisette John Colin Ivan Decker be real be good be real good I just like the real good real good real doll. We never said real doll. Yeah, I never finished an episode with it I don't remember what it was on a mailbag episode.
That's true. Anyway, planes up the copies for sure Hi, I'm Steve Jordan of the Minnesota Vikings. I'm a bit I could get skips babies in a room and there we need DNA to define who it was