85. Intimacy and Sex After 40 Without Shame Or Pressure, with Jennifer Marie Summers

Many women in their 40s, 50s, and early 60s tend to suffer in total silence when navigating changes in intimacy. We often carry shame around our shifting desires and changing bodies, falsely believing we are the only ones struggling or that we are somehow broken. In this episode, I welcome Jennifer Marie Summers, a board-certified sexologist, certified sex coach, and menopause coach who has been doing this work for nearly two decades. We dive deep into why smart, capable midlife women experience shifting desires, why regulating your nervous system is more important than jumping straight to supplements, and how to finally communicate your needs with your partner without feeling pressure or awkwardness. What You’ll Learn:✔ The Difference Between Sex and Intimacy: Intimacy and sex are not the exact same thing. Intimacy can look like holding hands, talking about your day, or simply gazing into your partner's eyes. ✔ The Nervous System Block: Stress creates cortisol in the body, which puts us into a state of fight or flight. This causes blood to rush to our arms and legs and away from our genitals, which physically prevents us from feeling pleasure. ✔ The "Yes, No, Maybe" Framework: Using a printed list of intimacy options helps couples discover shared desires and opens up new doors into intimacy.  ✔ The Power of Daily Pleasure: Small actions like taking a few extra minutes in the shower to mindfully wash your hair or listening to a calming 528 hertz frequency can help you get back into your body. Episode Chapters:00:00 - The changing landscape of midlife intimacy and relationships 03:04 - Meet Jennifer Marie Summers and the common intimacy struggles women face 05:59 - How to figure out what you want and start practicing mindful self-care 10:04 - Moving past the societal expectation that sex is just for men 12:36 - Regulating the nervous system and trying the 528 hertz frequency 17:06 - How stress and cortisol biologically block physical pleasure 20:48 - The "Yes, No, Maybe" list to improve couples' communication 28:52 - Why finding daily pleasure is your birthright 32:05 - Finding daily "glimmers" and taking better care of yourself  Links & Resources:Jennifer's Website and Intimacy Products: summersoflove.com  Free Yes/No/Maybe Checklist & 5 Secrets to Pleasure: summersoflove.com/collections/freeJennifer's Podcast: Sip with Summers  Cheryl's Free Story Cycle Resource: cherylpfischer.com/storycycle  Why This Episode MattersBy stripping away the secrecy and addressing the nervous system stress driving your disconnection, you can completely change your relationship with intimacy and your body. You are not broken. Take a little bit better care of yourself in midlife.Find the GreenSynergy Elixir and Energy Fizz duo at cherylpfischer.com/greens. Grab your water bottle, add these, and enjoy!Support the show🌸 Liked this episode? Share it with fellow Gen X women navigating hormone balance, an empty nest, and/or self-confidence!🫶 Love this show? Leave a review to help more women over 50 find us.💡Want menopause advice, mindset shifts, or support with midlife transformation?Find out more about the Midlife Recharge at cherylpfischer.com/coachingLet’s talk health after 50, self-talk, and redefining aging for women — without the “midlife crisis” narrative. Every week I'm adding new success strategies for midlife women.Connect with Cheryl: Instagram | LinkedIn | Website