86. Myths of Male Sexuality with Cam Fraser

Today’s episode and guest are about to blow your damn minds. ​Cam is a Certified Professional Sex Coach, Certified Sexologist, Registered Counselor, and Registered Tantric Yoga Teacher. As a coach, he helps men go beyond surface-level sex and into full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free of anxiety or shame.How did he get into this work?He  has always been interested in psychology, counseling and mental health, but also sexuality and human sexual behavior, and spirituality that he blends into his work as well. He always had a desire to go down the clinical therapy route, but the more he studied to pursue that, he realized how talk therapy is amazing, but quite limited.While in university in America he experienced so much toxic masculinity that really impacted his sexual life in various ways. It was just not a great space to be in with sexual or mental health. He seriously injured his back, and was introduced to clinical pilates and yoga, and through yoga to meditation and breathwork, and many more modalities. He was not only healing his body through yoga and meditation, but also starting to process things he hadn’t processed before. It helped unpack all these expectations and assumptions he had about what it means to be a man and what it means to be a sexual man in particular.Why is he doing his work the way he’s doing it?He came to this work through desperation, he was at rock bottom and sought change. But, another way we can come about change is through inspiration. He wants to minimize the amount of people coming about change through desperation. Instead, he tries to educate and encourage people through inspiration and saying “look at what’s possible”. There's a lot of narratives about what you shouldn't do, but there’s not a lot of stories about what you can do. Especially with toxic masculinity, there’s a lot of portrayals of really unhealthy representations of masculinity, with his work he wants to offer another expression of masculinity. What do you do if your partner is resistant to doing this work?Do not become a coach or therapist for your partner. Share the work of someone that really resonates with you personally. Prompt him, ask “what do you think about this?” Listen to a podcast togetherWatch a documentary,Take the serious out of it.Keep it pleasure oriented and positively framed. “I’m really interested in exploring more pleasure with you.” “The sex we’re having is fine, it’s great, but I’d really like to explore some more.” “I’m really interested in trying this with you, I think we would have a really good time”How does he combine talk therapy with the more physical therapy practices?There’s a lot of value in deconstructing the narratives, the stories, and the expectations we have of masculinity and busting those myths.“Anxiety in the mind manifests as tension in the body.” So the things you can do to tap into your body and release tension are so important.What is he dying to share or are there any final takeawaysCuriosity is the cornerstone of a lot of the work he does. It’s important to foster and cultivate your curiosity, and with that comes playfulness and lightheartedness. Our sex life and our sexuality changes, and if we’re not curious, we can get stuck in a rut or doing things the same way. If we don’t explore and expand upon our experiences your sex life can become dull and boring. Curiosity is truly the cornerstone of a healthy sex life. Connect with Cam!IG: @thecamfraser Website: Cam-Fraser.comConnect with Rachel!Instagram: @The_Rachel_MaineWebsite: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertiseFacebook: Rachel MaineEmail: [email protected] the showConnect with Rachel!Instagram: @The_Rachel_MaineWebsite: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertiseYouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelfFacebook: Rachel MaineEmail: [email protected]