EPISODE · Oct 2, 2025 · 21 MIN
87: how to spot emotionally UNAVAILABLE men🕵🏻♀️🚩10 CLEAR Signs
from The Anxious To Secure PODCAST · host Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach
➞ FREE Attachment RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop You know that gut-wrenching feeling when he’s into you one moment and distant the next? When you’re left wondering why he won’t open up, or why your stomach drops every time he pulls away? That’s what happens when you’re dealing with someone who’s emotionally unavailable. In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, we’ll break down 10 clear signs of emotional unavailability… plus a bonus one at the end you don’t want to miss. This will help you spot the patterns fast when you’re dating, or finally understand why your anxiety spikes in your current relationship. And before we start: this isn’t about blame 💛 it’s about awareness. Awareness is step one in protecting your heart and nervous system. We’ll talk about what it really means to be emotionally unavailable, especially in dismissive avoidants…why they crave closeness but fear it, how mixed signals and lack of affection leave you anxious, and the painful gap between what they say they want and what they actually do. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the emotional work, begging for crumbs of affection, or whispering in your head, “Does he even care?”… this episode will hit home. Stick with me until the end, because the bonus sign reveals why words and actions so often don’t line up… and why that mismatch keeps you stuck on people who feel impossible to reach. CHAPTERS: 00:00 10 Signs He’s Emotionally Unavailable 00:36 What is the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style at all? 02:45 01 They dodge deeper conversations 04:35 02 They’re inconsistent in communication 06:24 03 They don’t prioritize you 07:43 04 Fear of commitment or future talk 09:38 05 They invalidate your feelings 10:58 06 Affection feels limited or conditional 12:07 07 They disappear under stress 13:06 08 Overly focused on independence 13:57 09 Mixed signals 14:50 10 You feel emotionally starved 16:20 BONUS SIGN: Actions vs. Words in Relationships 18:31 If you are attracted to THESE men - WHAT NOW? Attachment Style QUIZ : Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz ✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns. Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
What this episode covers
➞ FREE Attachment RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop You know that gut-wrenching feeling when he’s into you one moment and distant the next? When you’re left wondering why he won’t open up, or why your stomach drops every time he pulls away? That’s what happens when you’re dealing with someone who’s emotionally unavailable. In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, we’ll break down 10 clear signs of emotional unavailability… plus a bonus one at the end you don’t want to miss. This will help you spot the patterns fast when you’re dating, or finally understand why your anxiety spikes in your current relationship. And before we start: this isn’t about blame 💛 it’s about awareness. Awareness is step one in protecting your heart and nervous system. We’ll talk about what it really means to be emotionally unavailable, especially in dismissive avoidants…why they crave closeness but fear it, how mixed signals and lack of affection leave you anxious, and the painful gap between what they say they want and what they actually do. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the emotional work, begging for crumbs of affection, or whispering in your head, “Does he even care?”… this episode will hit home. Stick with me until the end, because the bonus sign reveals why words and actions so often don’t line up… and why that mismatch keeps you stuck on people who feel impossible to reach. CHAPTERS: 00:00 10 Signs He’s Emotionally Unavailable00:36 What is the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style at all?02:45 01 They dodge deeper conversations04:35 02 They’re inconsistent in communication06:24 03 They don’t prioritize you07:43 04 Fear of commitment or future talk09:38 05 They invalidate your feelings10:58 06 Affection feels limited or conditional12:07 07 They disappear under stress13:06 08 Overly focused on independence13:57 09 Mixed signals14:50 10 You feel emotionally starved16:20 BONUS SIGN: Actions vs. Words in Relationships18:31 If you are attracted to THESE men - WHAT NOW? Attachment Style QUIZ : Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz ✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns. Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
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87: how to spot emotionally UNAVAILABLE men🕵🏻♀️🚩10 CLEAR Signs
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